You're the President... for 24 hours.

brianeyci · Post by **brianeyci** » 2006-10-26 05:35pm

Assume that tomorrow you suddenly find yourself waking up in the White House. You realize you're President Bush, yes the tool himself. There are no elections today, no scandals will break, no important decisions--unless you make them.

You retain your current skillset and the memories of Bush. At the end of 24 hours you know that you'll return to your own body, which has been lying having nekked sex all day so it's fine. Bush will return to his own body not knowing what happened.

So how much healing or damage can you do to the GOP in 24 hours

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CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2006-10-26 05:42pm

I'd talk tough, speak clearly, and say "nuke-lee-ar" just to freak the hell out of people. Then I'd pants Rumsfeld.

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2006-10-26 06:16pm

Well, a single day isn't enough to get any remotely useful bills past the legislature, so I think tough measures would be called for. So, call an emergency press conference, publicly insult the nation, fuck an intern on live TV, and make sure, by the time the day is out, that the bastard's defitively impeachable.

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2006-10-26 06:17pm

Resign?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-10-26 06:25pm

If I had control of George W. Bush for a day? I would go on TV and say that I'm gay.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2006-10-26 06:39pm

Resignation seems to be the clever thing to do. I'd make a great goodbye speech, and try break the GOP apart.

FedRebel · Post by **FedRebel** » 2006-10-26 06:50pm

brianeyci wrote:Assume that tomorrow you suddenly find yourself waking up in the White House. You realize you're President Bush, yes the tool himself. There are no elections today, no scandals will break, no important decisions--unless you make them.

You retain your current skillset and the memories of Bush. At the end of 24 hours you know that you'll return to your own body, which has been lying having nekked sex all day so it's fine. Bush will return to his own body not knowing what happened.

I don't really know what I'd do, one day isn't enough.

The only thing I could think of doing probably isn't possible
My Economics Professor seems to be orbiting Pluto and claims that the government is hording 50 Trillion dollars, giving http://cafr1.com/CAFRvsDebt.html as his soucre.

If this is true I'd try to secure that money, eliminate national debt in one swift move, give the military ungodly amounts of money and light a fire under their ass to get back to and surpass Cold War levels/readyness, give ABL and SDI projects the money to perfect the tecnology in secret and get deployable units ASAP.

Additionally I'd set everything in motion for a crash hydrogen fuel production/conversion program, give out the money to rebuild Iraq and Afganistan quickly and properly, and at the eleventh hour bribe all the needed politicians to run alll this in automatic, plus insure the annexiation of Puerto Rico by this comming July.

Ofcourse that more than likely this won't be possible, as I'd bet the money doesn't exist.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2006-10-26 08:36pm

I think I'll clarify the Iraqi invasion in a press conference. "Yes, we invaded them for their oil, that was the plan all along. And if you don't like it, you're a terrorist and you're getting a one way trip to Gitmo. And now we're going to nuke the rest of the middle east and take the rest of their oil, and there's nothing you can do about it." <insert evil laughter>

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2006-10-26 08:40pm

I'd probably pull something like this.

Question, if I die in GWB's body, what happens?

Cos Dashit · Post by **Cos Dashit** » 2006-10-26 09:01pm

All the stuff I would want to do, most definitely could not be accomplished, or even set up, in one day.

I'd order to be taken to Area 51, I know it's most likely nothing but I just want the experience.

I'd also shave my head, fart into a microphone, and then piss in my bed just before I go to sleep.

Oh, and I'd also publicly state that I've been touched by His Noodly Appendage.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-10-26 09:20pm

Ask America, "Why the hell did you vote for a spoiled coke-snorting, binge drinking idiot like me?" Then I'd admit that the whole Iraq war was just an excuse to avenge my dad and help the oil companies.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2006-10-26 09:25pm

A press conference is the most devastating thing to do in a short period of time given and I'd let loose every single exploding sound byte that I can unleash.

P.S. - If you actually do manage to get into Bush's body, don't forget to talk like him or the ruse is up!

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2006-10-26 09:28pm

You guys have got this all wrong. This isn't about what positive accomplishments you could achieve in twenty-four hours, it's about inflicting the maximum possible damage to the Bush Administration and the Republican Party in general.

I would start by shitcanning the entire cabinet, followed by a total and immediate withdrawal of all military forces from Iraq, Afghanistan, Germany and the Korean Peninsula. I would declare the start of a new initiative to bring Mexico into the United States and make Spanish the official language. Everywhere I go, I'd bring a trio of naked Asian shemale prostitutes on a leash. Finally, as I approach Zero Hour, I'd divulge written documentation of all known criminal activities to the authorites.

Back in my body, I take several showers.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-10-26 09:40pm

Hold a press conference, and openly announce the following:

"We really did it all for the oil, he he, and because my Daddy felt like he had a widdle weeny penis after last time."
"There were no WMDs, and I really knew that. I just thought it would be fun to run the military around for a while. Whee-haw!"
"Global warming is real, and I know we cause it, but I just hate signing a treaty that brown people have touched."
"I have a hard-on for Jesus. Really. *whips out erect penis, and runs around making "PEW PEW PEW" noises*"
"Osama had no connection to Saddam, actually. I just couldn't get away with saying it was Al Gore. Well, I probably could have."
"I masturbate to nun porn."

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2006-10-26 09:49pm

Get up some press conference with Cheney saying I'd had a major announcement, then proceed to bend Cheney over, give him a passionate kiss and fondle his crotch on national TV. I realise it's revolting because of who it is but the damage would be insurmountable.

ThatGuyFromThatPlace · Post by **ThatGuyFromThatPlace** » 2006-10-26 09:53pm

Getting Bush impeached or resigning is a terrible idea, are youjoking? WHo's next in line, thats right Dick Cheney, you really want to be responsible for putting that man in the presidency?

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-10-26 09:55pm

ThatGuyFromThatPlace wrote:Getting Bush impeached or resigning is a terrible idea, are youjoking? WHo's next in line, thats right Dick Cheney, you really want to be responsible for putting that man in the presidency?

Right now he'd be there for only a little over two years. And with him in office, the GOP would REALLY be fucked.

brianeyci · Post by **brianeyci** » 2006-10-26 10:03pm

Yogi wrote:Question, if I die in GWB's body, what happens?

I was thinking of this, but it came way too close to the line to uttering death threats so I left it out of the op.

If you die in Bush's body, you will die, how's that

. Sorry to ruin your fun.

Soontir C'boath wrote:If you actually do manage to get into Bush's body, don't forget to talk like him or the ruse is up!

I was thinking this would be the hardest part. I hear a lot of him, but if you do things that are too crazy like run around naked or talk like you're intelligent, Laura, the kids or his close friends might wise up and realize there's something wrong with their moron. Of course other than Rice, Cheney and Rumsfeld I have no idea who Bush's close friends are so maybe that's not a problem.

wilfulton · Post by **wilfulton** » 2006-10-26 10:26pm

I'd fuck the missus up the ass.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2006-10-26 10:37pm

wilfulton wrote:I'd fuck the missus up the ass.

I'd fuck a lot of people up the ass, starting with Paris Hilton. Also I'd leave myself a few million bucks so I'm set for life once I'm back to being me.

Seggybop · Post by **Seggybop** » 2006-10-26 11:28pm

I suppose firing Cheney and assigning yourself to be VP would be too obvious?
I'd find a competent public figure to be president, and switch them out for Cheney, and then resign, saying that the guilt had finally become too much.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-10-26 11:34pm

ThatGuyFromThatPlace wrote:Getting Bush impeached or resigning is a terrible idea, are youjoking? WHo's next in line, thats right Dick Cheney, you really want to be responsible for putting that man in the presidency?

Let's be realistic, my friend. He's already calling the shots anyway. Do you really think George W. Bush is making policy? He's a hand puppet. At least with Cheney as president, people would realize who their leader really is.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-10-27 12:34am

Heh. I'd get the football and TBO the following countries:

Iran
Syria
North Korea

my announcement would make heavy reference to the "LeMay doctrine"

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2006-10-27 12:35am

OP: Do I have access to Bush's memories as well?

On a purely personal level, I'd have to fuck in the Oval Office. I'd order the DCI to tell me everything that CIA knew about every dirty secret we had as well as the NSA and FBI directors.

I'd issue a direct order to get all our troops who are in harms way out of it.

I would ask for Cheney's resignation, along with anyone else whom I have deemed unworthy of the confidence of the American People.

I would then at the end of my day schedule a press conference announcing my resignation from the office POTUS FOR IN THE MORNING when Bush is back in his own body

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2006-10-27 01:04am

I have all of Bush's memories?

Okay. I call a press conference. All of the upper Cabinet personnel (Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, etc.) are ordered to attend.

And I start talking. And while I'm talking, I order all the little White House underlings to publish and disseminate the documentation which proves the corruption and scandals which I'll be talking about.

Everything... everything gets shoved into the sunlight. I drag out all of the skeletons in America's closet and shove them right into the face of the public.

Basically, I do my damndest to utterly destroy the credibility of the government in the eyes of every American.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

You're the President... for 24 hours.

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