Just for fun: Warp a Holiday Song

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-12-24 07:27am

OKay, we've all heard kids singing holiday song and carols and butchering them or adding lyrics
i.e
'They never let poor Rudolph, join in any reindeer games'
"LIKE FOOTBALL"

So, I was thinking/wondering

What other songs do you know that have been altered like that.

When I get home from work today, I'll post what I can remember of what I friend of mine did to Dashing Through the Snow

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2004-12-24 07:57am

I never get tired of

You better not move, you better not try
Oh you better not breathe I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is gunning you down!

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2004-12-24 09:19am

I forget the lyrics to my one about Rudolf being a murderous rapist. Damn.

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2004-12-24 12:29pm

To "Angels We have heard on high"

Rockets bursting in sky
Armies fighting on the plains
Orks go SMASH and humans die
Too damn bad it's just a game

Ahhhhh, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-,ah-ah-ah-ah-, oh shit, I'm dead
Where the fuck's my air, support
Oh, shit-shit-shit-shit-shit,shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-, Where the fuck's my air, support
A big fat orc is eat-,-ing, me!

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-12-24 01:28pm

As I promised:

Dashing through the Snow
In a beat up Chevrolet
My girlfriends in the back
and I'm getting laid!

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-12-24 01:53pm

These two apparently date back to the '80s, and I first heard them in Grade 1 nearly 15 years ago.

The first one comes in many varieties, but this is the version I heard most commonly:

Joy to the world, the school burnt down!
And all the teachers died;
The principal is dead, we shot him in the head,
The janitor is gone,
We flushed him jown the john,
And now it's up to u-us to blow up the bus.

Again, this one came in many varieties, and again, this is the one I heard most often:

Deck the halls with poison ivy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be naughty,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Break a window, slash a tire,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Set your teacher's hair on fire,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-12-24 02:18pm

Solauren wrote:As I promised:

Dashing through the Snow
In a beat up Chevrolet
My girlfriends in the back
and I'm getting laid!

Then who's driving?

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2004-12-24 02:46pm

Zaia wrote:
Solauren wrote:As I promised:

Dashing through the Snow
In a beat up Chevrolet
My girlfriends in the back
and I'm getting laid!
Then who's driving?

It's on cruise control, you idiot.

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2004-12-24 03:29pm

For my Imperiumverse

JOY TO THE MILKY WAY...
THE IMPERIUM HAS COME!!
LET THE GALAXY BE RULED AS ONE!
As ORD Marines fall from orbit!
And leaders of Rouge nations die!
The Galaxy is being Remade!
The Galaxy is being Remade!
The Galaxy isl being remade in Kao's Vision!

And A Classic...

JOY TO THE WOLRD...
THE TEACHER'S DEAD!
WE B-B-QED HER HEAD!
What happened to her Body?
We Flushed it down the Potty!
And round and round it goes...
And round and round it goes...
And round and round and round it goes!

Zor

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2004-12-24 04:26pm

Cthulhu Carols, all you need for a horrific solstice.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2004-12-24 06:10pm

Barlough the brown-nosed reign dog
had a very dirty nose
and if you ever saw it
you would jump into a hole...

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-12-24 07:24pm

The simple one I alwys sing while carolling is a brief butchery of Silver Bells. The original line is "hear the snow crunch, see the kids bunch", which I change to "Hear the kids crunch".

From Santa Claus is Coming to Town: "He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, he knoiws if you've been bad or good, so why not masturbate"?

For the retailers version of Jingle Bells:

Kill them all, kill them all,
Kill them where they stand!
If you don't have a weapon then just use your hands, Oh!
Kill them all, Kill them all,
Stab them through the Head!
We don't care how you do it, just make sure they're dead!

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2004-12-25 12:39am

I've thought of a twisting of one of the songs from the Rankin/Bass Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, but I've never gotten any farther than:

Ho ho ho
Santa's 'hos
Special com-fort elves.

The rest of the lyrics are a bit difficult to devise.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-26 07:58am

Uh... guys? Does this thread mean I'm allowed to perverting Christmas song like I did to Solitaire??

...................................................

Ummm... what are you guys going to do with those scalpels?