The Great User Purge of Dec 2004

Post by **AdmiralKanos** » 2004-12-19 04:09am

Fade in. The user is ushered into the dark, nondescript office.

EXAMINER: Good morning. Welcome to the Assessment Room. You joined this board more than two months ago, correct?
USER: Yes.
EXAMINER: And during that time, you have made no effort to post? Your postcount remains at zero?
USER: Um, well, you see, I've been busy, and-
EXAMINER: You were aware that excuses are not tolerated here, correct?
USER: I don't think I like these policies. You are not being very-
EXAMINER: Goodbye, fucktard.

The examiner pulls a hidden lever and the user's chair falls away from beneath him, flushing the non-contributing user into a Teflon-coated chute, sliding down and down and down until he finds himself being dropped into what appears to be a giant meat grinder. The gears start to turn, and the last sound he hears is his own horrible screaming ...

The above scene is repeated roughly 250 times, until the blood lust is sated.

Post by **fgalkin** » 2004-12-19 04:17am

And there was much rejoicing.

have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Petrosjko · Post by **Petrosjko** » 2004-12-19 04:17am

Uh.

Merry Christmas?

Post by **Dalton** » 2004-12-19 04:18am

Er, does this include the newest batch of fresh registrations?

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2004-12-19 04:18am

Curious timing on this.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-12-19 04:23am

Dalton wrote:Er, does this include the newest batch of fresh registrations?

I would hope not, unless there are some still sitting in the queue from more than a month ago.

Post by **Beowulf** » 2004-12-19 05:02am

I think the People's Museum wants their giant meat grinder back.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-12-19 05:04am

You mean the HAB doesn't have an even gianter Meat Grinder? For shame!

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-12-19 05:47am

And we're back below 2000

.

Ah, we should make this a yearly thing.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-12-19 05:47am

Shouldn't it be more of a "judgement" room rather than an "assessment" room, since their fate has already been decided?

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2004-12-19 05:56am

I thought the HAB's giant meat grinder was atomic powered?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-12-19 09:43am

Imperial Overlord wrote:I thought the HAB's giant meat grinder was atomic powered?

there is no atomic powered meat grinder in the HAB armory. There are no mecha fanboys or gnones being ground to subatomic particles in the non existant grinder. There is nothing to see here.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-12-19 09:47am

Pcm979 wrote:You mean the HAB doesn't have an even gianter Meat Grinder? For shame!

I thought that everyone knew that the HAB doesn't grind their meat they beat it.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-12-19 09:55am

Tsyroc wrote:
Pcm979 wrote:You mean the HAB doesn't have an even gianter Meat Grinder? For shame!
I thought that everyone knew that the HAB doesn't grind their meat they beat it.

no we're nukosexuals. All members of the HAB are stimulated on the atomic level.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-12-19 10:36am

First they came for the inactive members, and I did not speak up, for I was not an inactive members.

Then they came for the spammers, and I did not speak up, for I was not a spammer.

Then they came for the newbies, and I did not speak up, for I was not a newbie.

Then they came for the low-post count members, and I did not speak up, for I did not have a low post count.

And then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak up.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-12-19 10:46am

Don't get a persecution complex Hemlock.
I wonder how this will show up on the big boards stats.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-12-19 11:13am

HemlockGrey wrote:First they came for the inactive members, and I did not speak up, for I was not an inactive members.

Then they came for the spammers, and I did not speak up, for I was not a spammer.

Then they came for the newbies, and I did not speak up, for I was not a newbie.

Then they came for the low-post count members, and I did not speak up, for I did not have a low post count.

And then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak up.

The point is that those non-posting bastards wouldn't have spoken up for you anyway.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-12-19 11:24am

Huzzah for the comical rendition of violence for the illustrative purpose of deleting useless poster accounts!

SDN! SDN! SDN!

Daltonator · Post by **Daltonator** » 2004-12-19 11:32am

Darth Wong wrote:
Dalton wrote:Er, does this include the newest batch of fresh registrations?
I would hope not, unless there are some still sitting in the queue from more than a month ago.

Ah good, I was afraid you had gone through the entire memberlist.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-12-19 11:46am

Daltonator wrote: Ah good, I was afraid you had gone through the entire memberlist.

Speaking of which, have you greenlit those new applicants? One such member named CDS is still unable to post.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-12-19 12:08pm

Oooh, can we recalibrate postcounts now too? Please?

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2004-12-19 12:23pm

Pcm979 wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:*snip*
The point is that those non-posting bastards wouldn't have spoken up for you anyway.

That whole exchange made me fall out of my chair laughing.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-12-19 12:27pm

Imperial Overlord wrote:I thought the HAB's giant meat grinder was atomic powered?

*waves hand through air*

There is no meat grinder in HAB. These are not the droids you are looking for, move along.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-12-19 12:40pm

Beowulf wrote:I think the People's Museum wants their giant meat grinder back.

The People's Museum of Heroic Vehicles only employs devices for the purpose of questioning, our meat grinders accommodate limbs and genitals only.
And, of course, Lord Wong is more than welcome to employ them any time he so desires.

Arrow · Post by **Arrow** » 2004-12-19 01:00pm

Frank Hipper wrote:The People's Museum of Heroic Vehicles only employs devices for the purpose of questioning, our meat grinders accommodate limbs and genitals only.

Dude, that made my nuts hurts!