Why soccer won't catch on in the United States

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 09:02pm

Interesting article from the Observer:

//observer.guardian.co.uk/osm/story/o,6903,1270849,00.html

Mandelbaum's explanation is good as far as it goes. I do think it leaves out an important reason soccer has never really caught on over here:

In just about every other sport in the US, when you have a ball flying toward you, you reach out and catch it -a habit drilled into kids early and often. For kids to pick up on soccer, they have to unlearn what they were taught playing football, baseball and basketball.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 09:13pm

You URL is screwy.

I don't see why it can't catch on, many of us in Australia are taught how to play football and cricket before we play soccer. And it's huge here amongst the young folk.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 09:24pm

The reason soccer hasn't caught on is because it's gay.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 09:26pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:The reason soccer hasn't caught on is because it's gay.

Interesting logic.

Have you ever really played it?

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 09:27pm

Gandalf wrote:Have you ever really played it?

Yes, and I sucked at it quite badly, therefore it must be gay.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-08-02 09:30pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:The reason soccer hasn't caught on is because it's gay.

Soccer? What is this soccer you speak of? OH, you mean REAL football.

muse · Post by **muse** » 2004-08-02 09:34pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Have you ever really played it?
Yes, and I sucked at it quite badly, therefore it must be gay.

Your logic is off. You suck at soccer, therefore you must be gay.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 09:43pm

muse wrote:Your logic is off. You suck at soccer, therefore you must be gay.

No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming.

back at you.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 09:45pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
muse wrote:Your logic is off. You suck at soccer, therefore you must be gay.
No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.

As opposed to football's well toned guys, tight pants and massive stacks ons?

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 09:49pm

Gandalf wrote:As opposed to football's well toned guys,...

I'm flattered that you noticed, but unfortunately for you I don't swing that way. Perhaps you could find yourself a soccer player.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 09:50pm

Gandalf wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote:
muse wrote:Your logic is off. You suck at soccer, therefore you must be gay.
No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.
As opposed to football's well toned guys, tight pants and massive stacks ons?

Looks like the gayness has afflicted you too, Gandalf!

*

A better link to the story is at www.fark.com

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-08-02 09:51pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Have you ever really played it?
Yes, and I sucked at it quite badly, therefore it must be gay.

Yeah, soccer definitely fucks other sports of the same gender up the ass.

No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.

I've noticed that football players are often some of the biggest homophobes I've ever seen. Aren't these the same guys who wear spandex pants and run around slapping each other's asses, and then go off and shower with each other?

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 09:52pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Have you ever really played it?
Yes, and I sucked at it quite badly, therefore it must be gay.

Not only that, but any dude better looking than I am must be a homo. *

Who knew there were so many?

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-08-02 09:52pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
muse wrote:Your logic is off. You suck at soccer, therefore you must be gay.
No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.

*narrows his eyes* Are you saying the Track team or the Cross-Country team are not real sports?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 09:53pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:As opposed to football's well toned guys,...
I'm flattered that you noticed, but unfortunately for you I don't swing that way. Perhaps you could find yourself a soccer player.

Maybe you swing that way and don't know it?

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 09:56pm

Durandal wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Have you ever really played it?
Yes, and I sucked at it quite badly, therefore it must be gay.
Yeah, soccer definitely fucks other sports of the same gender up the ass.

No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.
I've noticed that football players are often some of the biggest homophobes I've ever seen. Aren't these the same guys who wear spandex pants and run around slapping each other's asses, and then go off and shower with each other?

If you want to see homophobia in football, watch what happens when the coach selects a lineman to play center. When I got picked in the 8th grade, my coach (noticing my dismay -all adolescent boys go through the "am I gay?" phase) said "What the fuck are you worried about? If you get a hernia or groin injury, the quarterback will know immediately!"

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 09:58pm

Durandal wrote:I've noticed that football players are often some of the biggest homophobes I've ever seen. Aren't these the same guys who wear spandex pants and run around slapping each other's asses, and then go off and shower with each other?

Football players have a right to be homophobes. I mean, after the soccer players came in and took over the kicker positions, who can blame them?

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 10:00pm

Gandalf wrote:Maybe you swing that way and don't know it?

So I played a little intermural soccer in college, IT WAS COLLEGE, WE ALL EXPERIMENT IN COLLEGE! It doesn't mean I'm a soccer player!

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2004-08-02 10:02pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote:
muse wrote:Your logic is off. You suck at soccer, therefore you must be gay.
No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.
*narrows his eyes* Are you saying the Track team or the Cross-Country team are not real sports?

I'm with you. Anyone who so much as hints that running isn't a sport is going to have their genitalia ripped off.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-08-02 10:02pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Maybe you swing that way and don't know it?
So I played a little intermural soccer in college, IT WAS COLLEGE, WE ALL EXPERIMENT IN COLLEGE! It doesn't mean I'm a soccer player!

First comes denial Pilot, I'm sure Ein went through the same thing.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 10:04pm

StormTrooperTR889 wrote:I'm with you. Anyone who so much as hints that running isn't a sport is going to have their genitalia ripped off.

Your sick gay fantasies are your own business.

And no running is not a sport, unless you have a football in your hands.

EDIT: or a stolen TV

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 10:05pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
StormTrooperTR889 wrote:I'm with you. Anyone who so much as hints that running isn't a sport is going to have their genitalia ripped off.
Your sick gay fantasies are your own business.

And no running is not a sport, unless you have a football in your hands.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-08-02 10:06pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Maybe you swing that way and don't know it?
So I played a little intermural soccer in college, IT WAS COLLEGE, WE ALL EXPERIMENT IN COLLEGE! It doesn't mean I'm a soccer player!

It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2004-08-02 10:09pm

I doubt there is anyone on this board that I couldn't run until they cry. Football is fun, but running is more of a gut-check.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 10:10pm

Durandal wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Maybe you swing that way and don't know it?
So I played a little intermural soccer in college, IT WAS COLLEGE, WE ALL EXPERIMENT IN COLLEGE! It doesn't mean I'm a soccer player!
It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.

Try 30# at the most. The first time a soccer player gets a chipped fingernail, let alone a "decleater", they'll close the sport down. Did anyone mention soccer is gay?