Fun with Telemarketers

OT: anything goes!

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Kodiak
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Fun with Telemarketers

Post by Kodiak »

So, I was sitting at my desk just 5 minutes ago and I got this call:

Her: Hello Sir, this is Gladys with the San Jose Mercury News. We're calling our long-term subscribers regarding a subscription the the e-Mercury News online paper.

note: I had a paper subscription for 2 years in San Jose

Me: What? I have a newspaper subscription?
Her: Yes sir, you are a long-time subscriber.
Me: I'm glad you called!
Her: Good sir, let me-
Me: I'd like to cancel my subscription
Her: :shock:
Me: I've moved, I need to cancel my subscription
Her: Sir, I'd be happy to transfer your subscription
Me: I don't need it. I moved 100 miles from San Jose. I don't need the paper.
Her: Don't you want to keep up on the hometown news?
Me: San Jose isn't my hometown. I lived there for 4 years, now I've moved.
Her: Don't you want to keep tabs on San Jose?
Me: Can't you see that I don't?
Her: Sir, your subscription is paid through December-
Me: Can I get a refund then?
Her: You'll need to call our 800 number, but sir-
Me: GREAT! Can you give me that number?
Her: One moments sir. So, would you still like to subscribe to our e-news?
Me: No, not really. Is it free?
Her: No sir.
Me: I'm ready for that number then. :lol:
Her: Have a good day sir.
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"I keep my eighteen wives in wonderfully appointed villas by bringing the underwear of god to the heathens. They will come to know God through well protected goodies." - Gandalf

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HamsterViking
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by HamsterViking »

It may be fun to dick with telemarketers, but remember that they're people too, and ot even the people responsible for bothering you, but people like my fiance who accepted the only job they could...
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Kodiak
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by Kodiak »

HamsterViking wrote:It may be fun to dick with telemarketers, but remember that they're people too, and ot even the people responsible for bothering you, but people like my fiance who accepted the only job they could...
I wasn't being mean or rude. Everything I said was true: I had forgotten I had a subscription, I had moved, and I did want to cancel it. I had to laugh at that they were trying to sign me up for even more of a product I didn't want, and if they hadn't called I would've never known.
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Captain of the MFS Frigate of Pizazz +2 vs. Douchebags - Est vicis pro nonnullus suscito vir

"Are you an idiot? What demand do you think there is for aircraft carriers that aren't government?" - Captain Chewbacca

"I keep my eighteen wives in wonderfully appointed villas by bringing the underwear of god to the heathens. They will come to know God through well protected goodies." - Gandalf

"There is no such thing as being too righteous to understand." - Darth Wong
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Coyote
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by Coyote »

Yeah, sounds like Kodiak wasn't rude or mean to the woman, he just didn't want the service she was trying to encourage.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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HamsterViking
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by HamsterViking »

Kodiak wrote:
HamsterViking wrote:It may be fun to dick with telemarketers, but remember that they're people too, and ot even the people responsible for bothering you, but people like my fiance who accepted the only job they could...
I wasn't being mean or rude. Everything I said was true: I had forgotten I had a subscription, I had moved, and I did want to cancel it. I had to laugh at that they were trying to sign me up for even more of a product I didn't want, and if they hadn't called I would've never known.
Yeah, I got that. Just a little reminder. I know it can be a lot of fun to mess with people trying to get money out of you like this, it's just best when you can get at the people behind the menial employees.
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SylasGaunt
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by SylasGaunt »

I find it fun to screw with telemarketers in general, but then I had about a 2 year period where I would consistantly lose several hours sleep due to their calling in the morning and waking me well before I intended to get up so I may be just a tad irritable with them as a result.
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JME2
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by JME2 »

I worked as a telefundraiser for the San Francisco Opera last summer, so I know what it's like to be on both sides of the fence and while I dislike dealing with them, at least try to show them some degree of courtesy. That having been said, there's nothing wrong with taking a humorous approach.
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Erik von Nein
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by Erik von Nein »

There are some okay people working telemarketing, but from my friend's experience managing them quite a few of them are dishonest assholes.

I just tend to hand up immediately.
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CaptainChewbacca
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by CaptainChewbacca »

If its telemarketers, I just tell them I'm unemployed and hang up. If its surveys or whatever, I'll generally answer the questions if I'm not busy.

I've ended up on several different focus groups that way.
Stuart: The only problem is, I'm losing track of which universe I'm in.
You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
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His Divine Shadow
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by His Divine Shadow »

Personally all I gotta say is *"Talar du svenska?" And they hang up either at once or just apologize and say no they don't and then hang up.

* = "Do you speak swedish?"
Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who did not.
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McC
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by McC »

I disagree. I take a very, very dim view of people calling me up with unsolicited bullshit. What's worse is that whole, "Your factory warranty on your car is about to expire! Press 1 now to talk to a representative to keep your warranty!" So, I get as hostile, aggressive, and mean as possible with them.

All respect to your fiancee HamsterViking, but working the fast food counter is better than telemarketing. At least you're feeding people with the former. The latter is nothing but obnoxious leeching, and should be treated as such.
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Davey
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Re: Fun with Telemarketers

Post by Davey »

I just Rickroll them.

"Hello, is Mr. Davey Sr. there?"
"No, one second, I'll get him for you. Can you wait a minute or so?"
*da-da-dum-dum-dun! "...never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down..." dun tee da dee dum...*
"Oh SHIT!" generally means I fucked up.
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