Why soccer won't catch on in the United States

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 10:10pm

Durandal wrote:It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.

We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 10:13pm

StormTrooperTR889 wrote:I doubt there is anyone on this board that I couldn't run until they cry. Football is fun, but running is more of a gut-check.

So? If I have to run a hundred yards, they've already scored! What's the fucking point of running any longer? Jeez!

EDIT: For botched syntax.

By the way, an * should be applied to all posts on this thread.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 10:14pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Durandal wrote:It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.
We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.

Ever seen rugby?

No pads there.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-08-02 10:16pm

Gandalf wrote:Ever seen rugby?

No pads there.

Rugby players are gods. They represent all that is man. I wish I could have played rugby.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 10:19pm

Gandalf wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote:
Durandal wrote:It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.
We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.
Ever seen rugby?

No pads there.

Rugby is about as close to a man's sport as Englishmen are capable of, but they don't have decleaters or double-decleaters.

Wicked, we already had linemen close to 300 pounds in high school. I only got promoted to LT because I had better technique for pass protection and could hide an uppercut that stopped that Def End COLD!

muse · Post by **muse** » 2004-08-02 10:20pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:No I played real sports in high school, like football where I was quite an impressive defensive tackle considering my size. I didn't waste my time with such gayness as soccer and swimming. back at you.

I am female, thus it doesn't apply.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 10:24pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Ever seen rugby?

No pads there.
Rugby players are gods. They represent all that is man. I wish I could have played rugby.

That was beautiful.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-08-02 10:27pm

Elfdart wrote:
Durandal wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote: So I played a little intermural soccer in college, IT WAS COLLEGE, WE ALL EXPERIMENT IN COLLEGE! It doesn't mean I'm a soccer player!
It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.
Try 30# at the most. The first time a soccer player gets a chipped fingernail, let alone a "decleater", they'll close the sport down. Did anyone mention soccer is gay?

You've never seen some High School soccer games have you? We take brutal beatings and get up, some far worse then anything you wusses with pads and pigskin take, and you losers need pads.

Oh and Wicked, soccer players crash into each other and they aren't much lighter, and we've got no pads.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-08-02 10:28pm

We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.

I have never, once, seen a remotely serious soccer player wearing anything to protect them from the ball. Keep in mind that soccer players regularly use their head to propel the ball in a given direction after having the ball intentionally kicked at them by a team-mate in excess of 50 km/h.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-08-02 10:29pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Ever seen rugby?

No pads there.
Rugby players are gods. They represent all that is man. I wish I could have played rugby.

I have to agree with you there.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-08-02 10:31pm

Master of Ossus wrote:
We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.
I have never, once, seen a remotely serious soccer player wearing anything to protect them from the ball. Keep in mind that soccer players regularly use their head to propel the ball in a given direction after having the ball intentionally kicked at them by a team-mate in excess of 50 km/h.

And it's a bitch when you mess up and that thing hits you in the side of the head. That stings a bit.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 10:31pm

Master of Ossus wrote:
We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.
I have never, once, seen a remotely serious soccer player wearing anything to protect them from the ball. Keep in mind that soccer players regularly use their head to propel the ball in a given direction after having the ball intentionally kicked at them by a team-mate in excess of 50 km/h.

Most people wear shin pads. I don't know if their intended use if for actually stopping the ball, but it does make interceptions much easier.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-08-02 10:35pm

Gandalf wrote:Most people wear shin pads. I don't know if their intended use if for actually stopping the ball, but it does make interceptions much easier.

They're intended to provide "a reasonable degree of protection" from other people's feet. Also, the fact that professional players routinely wear only tiny shin pads should provide evidence that they provide no appreciable advantage in terms of ball-control--they exist only to provide some protection from other players.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-02 10:37pm

I saw a single decleater in an Australian football game, so that sport is acceptable. I also like the way the ref signals a score by holding his hands like a pair of six-shooters. Another sport for real men.

Wicked might have played against 200-pound guards. I did too -in the eighth grade. I was the smallest lineman on my high school team and weighed 250. Two others were 270, one 290 and one 300. I'd like to see a soccer player play against that. It would look like Bambi vs. Godzilla. I don't mean to bust the balls of soccer players, since they helped shake pom-poms during our games and were the base of human pyramids.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-02 10:43pm

Master of Ossus wrote:
Gandalf wrote:Most people wear shin pads. I don't know if their intended use if for actually stopping the ball, but it does make interceptions much easier.
They're intended to provide "a reasonable degree of protection" from other people's feet. Also, the fact that professional players routinely wear only tiny shin pads should provide evidence that they provide no appreciable advantage in terms of ball-control--they exist only to provide some protection from other players.

Fair enough.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2004-08-02 11:39pm

Nah, the reason why Soccer will never catch on is because there's no real season for it here in the U.S.

We've got Footbal from fall to winter, Basketball (Along with Hockey for a good portion of the time) from Winter to Spring, and Baseball from Spring to Fall. You can't really fit in anything against that.

Besides all of our best soocer players have already been looted for European teams, just like all their best Football/baseball players are over here, so you'll never actually have good teams/play here unless that stops, and there's no reason why it should.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2004-08-02 11:47pm

Well, we do have women's soccer here, so we can't actually say it hasn't caught on...just perhaps not with men.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-08-02 11:52pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
StormTrooperTR889 wrote:I'm with you. Anyone who so much as hints that running isn't a sport is going to have their genitalia ripped off.
Your sick gay fantasies are your own business.

And no running is not a sport, unless you have a football in your hands.

EDIT: or a stolen TV

The real danger of insulting runners is that if you push us too far you can't run away.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-08-03 02:18am

"All sports are gay... except for midget tossing" - Seth Putnam

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2004-08-03 03:08am

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Durandal wrote:It's okay. We soccer players know that you ran away because you couldn't take playing a physical sport that doesn't protect you with 300 pounds of pads.
We wear pads to protect us from 200lb offensive guards coming at us. What are those things you put on to protect you from the ball.

You mean shoes?

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-08-03 03:33am

Here's the real reason: You can't whittle down Football. You're either having the full thing, with psychotic maniacs with shaved heads slide-tackling to your exposed gut, and riots and international incidents before, after, and during the game, or you've got a bunch of men looking around sheepishly while holding the ball. Or you've got a dumbed-down version of Rugby, if you're an American and think Football is called Soccer.

See, way back in the era of myth, an American wanting to make some sports for his country visited his cousin in England. And of course his cousin, being a good chap, showed him around. He showed him his daughter, playing Rounders. The clever American, realizing that his countrymen would like this, substituted in a harder ball, and invented Baseball. Then he took him to see his son in Rugby. Again our clever American friend realized he could pitch this back home, but after seeing the brutal violence, he quickly added a note about lots of armour on the poor boys subjected to this. Then, miracle of miracles, his English cousin took him to a Manchester United game. The American wept tears of joy for the competition, the manliness, the hooliganism. Such was what the gods intended for men, surely! But, in his horror, he realized that it was indivisible. Like a perfect god, or an infinite area, anything he took away didn't affect it; an infinite thing minus one is still infinite! Unable to tone down soccer for his brethren, he returned home in sadness, unable to give his countrymen the miracle of true Football. He gave it a goofy name, but it was no use: It was too much for his brethren. His counsin reassured him, though. When America was ready to truly replace the fading Empire, it would form a team to rival Manchester United.

And that's how she wound up naked in my bed, officer.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2004-08-03 04:24am

The real reason soccer hasn't caught on in America is simple economics. The US can barely support four major sports; it has no room for a fifth. Most people simply cannot be bothered to follow more than a few sports, and Americans already have Football, Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, and NASCAR to choose from.
This isn't a bad thing - different people simply follow different sports. Of course, because they know little about the sports they don't follow, they mock them, but that's just human nature. And of course, if you're going to ask why Americans don't follow soccer, you could just as easily ask why Europeans don't follow Baseball. People just don't have time to follow a million sports (I've seen the sports-freaks that do follow every sport, and I'm glad that most people aren't like that). Europeans have plenty of sports that they follow that Americans don't: cricket, tennis, bicycling, rally racing, etc. That's just the way things are.

And, as times change, I won't at all be surprised to see soccer gain popularity in the US. Here in California, soccer is already pretty popular - owing to our large portions of Latin American, European, and African immigrants.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2004-08-03 05:44am

StormTrooperTR889 wrote:I doubt there is anyone on this board that I couldn't run until they cry. Football is fun, but running is more of a gut-check.

What are you a sprinter , mid-distance runner, or distance runner? I'm willing to take you up on that challenge in a mid-distance/distance run or at least in the mile (my best race imo).

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-08-03 05:55am

speaking as a former soccer player (silly british bastards calling it football) i would have to say it is indeed not 'gay'. Concussions and bloody noses are phun!

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-08-03 09:49am

If rugby had the forward pass, it would be a great game. Nitram's fairy tale leaves out the fact that all the padding for football was foisted on the sport by the government. Then some asshole came up with the idea of hardening the gear so it can be used as a weapon. Pads and helmets CAUSE more serious injuries than they prevent. Teddy Roosevelt was appalled by the carnage and some threatened to ban the sport. It's also the reason that when the ball is snapped, seven of eleven men must be on the line of scrimmage: The flying wedge formation left more mangled bodies than an Irish wedding.