An excerpt from the Comey hearing

[General Zod]

It's worth reading all the way through.

SEN. MARCO RUBIO: I will keep my questioning brief as we are pressed for time. Mr. Comey, I would just like to know why you continued to answer the President’s calls?

DIR. JAMES COMEY: Well, as I stated in open session I tried to avoid the president’s calls, but he was persistent and I did not feel comfortable ignoring him.

RUBIO: So, in a way you encouraged the calls?

COMEY: I wouldn’t say so.

RUBIO: But you did answer them, did you not? You could see just as easily as any of the rest of us when the president was calling.

COMEY: I answered the calls in a way I felt was appropriate.

RUBIO: If the calls made you feel so uncomfortable, as you say they do, it seems to me that you would just ignore them completely. Ghosting is a very easy and effective tactic, Mr. Comey. Had you not answered the president’s calls or texts for several weeks, I am confident he would have gotten the message.

(Long pause)

COMEY: I’m sorry was — what was your question?

RUBIO: Mr. Comey, why did you not simply ghost the president instead of leading him on?

COMEY: I did not feel comfortable ghosting the president of the United States. He has a great deal of authority and, as this committee is aware, he has a temper. I did not want to escalate the situation further.

RUBIO: That frankly seems a little melodramatic, Mr. Comey. The President has never persistently called or harassed me so I just can’t imagine he would do that to you. Honestly Mr. Comey, you should be flattered and honored that a powerful man like the president is paying attention to you. You’re going to miss that kind of attention when it’s gone. (Sighs) With that said, I yield my remaining time to the Senator from Arkansas.

SEN. TOM COTTON: Mr. Comey, could you not have just told the president you were already in a patronage relationship with another party?

COMEY: Senator, I — what?

COTTON: It seems to me there are numerous ways you could have alleviated the president’s interest in you. You could have easily told him you were already seeing another leader and that you appreciated his attention but could not reciprocate appropriately at this time.

COMEY: Sir, I am not comfortable lying to the president of the United States. It also does not seem fair that I should be forced to lie my way out of an inappropriate situation with a man in power.

COTTON: Mr. Comey I don’t want to speak for everyone on this panel, but I know I am not the only Republican who, during the election, informed Mr. Trump that I was really trying to focus on my career and couldn’t engage in a personal relationship of the kind he was looking for. Sometimes these are just the things that must be done to maintain decorum and propriety. I don’t appreciate the implication that you are somehow afforded a different set of social norms than the rest of us.

COMEY: Senator Cotton I am just a little confused about your assertion that I should assume such behavior is normal and prepare myself accordingly. It did not, and does not, seem to me to be too much to go to the Inauguration and not have someone initiate an unwanted hug. I just find it ludicrous that I should have to tell a grown man that I am already in a patronage relationship with someone else to ensure that I not contacted in improper ways.

COTTON: Mr. Comey it is troubling to me that you seem to be living in a different D.C. than the rest of us. Senator Blunt, I have completed my questioning.

SEN. ROY BLUNT: Thank you, Senator Cotton. Mr. Comey, on Inauguration Day, when you say you were trying to avoid the president’s attention in the Blue Room, what were you wearing?

COMEY: I don’t — could you rephrase I think I’m misunderstanding?

BLUNT: What were you wearing, Mr. Comey?

COMEY: A — suit?

BLUNT: This blue suit? (holds up an enlarged photo of the meeting)

COMEY: Um yes that is a photo of the interaction.

BLUNT: Mr. Comey has your wife told you on occasion that suit quote “really brings out the blue in your eyes”?

COMEY: Wait, how… what?

BLUNT: Just answer the question, Mr. Comey. Are you or are you not aware that blue suit brings out the color in your eyes in a way that is appealing to others?

COMEY: I — yes. To my recollection, I have been told that before.

BLUNT: Then you are aware of the effect you have on others when wearing that suit?

COMEY: My mother told me not to brag about myself but yes, others have told me that I (shrugs) cut a striking figure in that suit.

BLUNT: Then you cannot hold Mr. Trump accountable for the fact that he was drawn to you, correct?

COMEY: What?

BLUNT: Mr. Comey it is a straightforward question — you wore that suit knowing it would appeal to men like Mr. Trump and then when it did and he hugged you, you acted like it was shocking and appalling, correct?

COMEY: I — that did not cross my mind in such words but I suppose it could be construed that way.

BLUNT: I would like the record to show that Mr. Comey admitted to purposefully wearing his best “come hither” suit.

COMEY: Now wait a—

BLUNT: I will yield the rest of my time, thank you Mr. Comey.

SEN. RICHARD BURR: This committee has to adjourn for a vote, but I would like to thank Mr. Comey for his time and willingness to participate in this hearing. We have much deliberation and discussion ahead of us but I do feel comfortable admonishing Mr. Comey, much in the way you yourself admonished former Secretary Clinton. A great deal of the issues you are dealing with now would not exist if you had not presented yourself as available and open to such advances from President Trump. There are things you can do so as to make sure you do not appear to be asking for this. Something I hope you consider in the future. And with that, we are adjourned.

[Zixinus]

Is this real?

[Tribble]

Wait, what, is this real?

EDIT: hahaha nice article. Still, it's kind of sad that I actually had to read the whole web page to fact check, as I wouldn't put it past Republicans to do something like this.

[General Zod]

Click on the link.

[Simon_Jester]

What would be darkly amusing is if they took, say, the first three or four lines from the transcript (e.g. Rubio actually making the demented suggestion that the FBI director should simply 'not answer' the president's calls), and then proceeded to extrapolate the whole wickedly funny parody of the kind of crap that people throw at rape and sexual harassment victims.

[LadyTevar]

I don't find it "wickedly funny parody", I find it a sad state of affairs that people can make jokes about the stuff thrown at rape and sexual harassment victims.

[aerius]

Rubio is too fucking stupid to speak like that or ask those questions. Fake. Those "comedy" sites need better writers.

[Simon_Jester]

I don't find it "wickedly funny parody", I find it a sad state of affairs that people can make jokes about the stuff thrown at rape and sexual harassment victims.

My apologies.

From my point of view, when someone says something that is obviously stupid and wrong and terrible in a farcical manner, and it is also obviously similar to a ghastly real thing, it takes on this aspect. It's a category of joke that only works because you're saying "this is obviously stupid when applied to sexual harassment victims, and it's obviously stupid when similar things are said to the Attorney General to blame him for being the victim of a form of (nonsexual) harassment," and it communicates the all-round stupidity and loathsomeness of the loathsome thing in a way I find funny, in a dark-comedy way.

I suppose can understand why it might not seem funny to others with a closer-up viewpoint on the ghastly thing in question. Again, my apologies.

[The Romulan Republic]

What would be darkly amusing is if they took, say, the first three or four lines from the transcript (e.g. Rubio actually making the demented suggestion that the FBI director should simply 'not answer' the president's calls), and then proceeded to extrapolate the whole wickedly funny parody of the kind of crap that people throw at rape and sexual harassment victims.

Leaving aside the issue of weather sexual abuse can ever be "funny", I can say quite seriously that when Comey was describing the way Trump behaved towards him, it reminded me of a description of sexual harassment. Not literally, of course, but it had that sort of vibe, in a way, of Trump creepily pushing an inappropriate relationship on Comey while trying to intimidate him and use his job as leverage.

He probably deals just the same way with women (except probably with more physical aggression). Hell, he probably deals that way with everybody.

[Simon_Jester]

That sounds very plausible.

As to the rest... There's an entire category of 'gallows humor' that revolves around being aware that certain things are horrible, but retaining the ability to joke about them. Done correctly, this is handled not in a way that makes light of the wrongness of the horrible thing, but in a way that reminds us of the wrongness without being a constant, intrusive drumbeat in the consciousness.

Because the practical effect of trying to make a given terrible thing so grimly humorless that there is NO acceptable joke that touches on it in any way is that it becomes so grim and horrible that most people won't actually think about it very often. Unless you're trying to deliberately suppress an idea from the public consciousness entirely as That Which We Dare Not Name, trying to suppress gallows humor on the subject can be counterproductive.

Personally I have become convinced that it's a psychologically more healthy approach to at least retain the option of invoking terrible things in the field of parody, and parody is what the cited article really is.

[This is separate from the category of jokes that demean a victim. Note here that Comey is obviously in the right throughout this parody, and that Rubio's fictitious arguments are increasingly spurious and ridiculous. Comey is not being demeaned here- Rubio is.]

[Flagg]

I don't find it "wickedly funny parody", I find it a sad state of affairs that people can make jokes about the stuff thrown at rape and sexual harassment victims.

My apologies.

From my point of view, when someone says something that is obviously stupid and wrong and terrible in a farcical manner, and it is also obviously similar to a ghastly real thing, it takes on this aspect. It's a category of joke that only works because you're saying "this is obviously stupid when applied to sexual harassment victims, and it's obviously stupid when similar things are said to the Attorney General to blame him for being the victim of a form of (nonsexual) harassment," and it communicates the all-round stupidity and loathsomeness of the loathsome thing in a way I find funny, in a dark-comedy way.

I suppose can understand why it might not seem funny to others with a closer-up viewpoint on the ghastly thing in question. Again, my apologies.

No apologies needed, IMO. It was perfectly clear cut as to exactly what, why, and how it was funny, and no more offensive (IMO) to rape victims than 'A Modest Proposal' to survivors of The Donner Party.

[General Zod]

I don't find it "wickedly funny parody", I find it a sad state of affairs that people can make jokes about the stuff thrown at rape and sexual harassment victims.

It's not making fun of rape though, or necessarily meant to be funny. It's illustrating the absurd bullshit that rape victims have to go through. So it's more a satire piece than anything.