Why didn't they cut up Dooku's ship?

[Metahive]

Fucking Padme survives falling out of a fast flying ship, a ship engaged in a CHASE for fuck's sake, without getting plastered all over the landscape (in fact, without any sort of injury at all), Luke survives getting his hand cut off, a thousand feet fall and can still climb around a rickety scaffolding but Obi and Ani are suddenly so brittle that they can't be shoved a few feet to the side without risking lethal harm? Could the straws you're reaching for get any thinner?
As opposed to levitating things, Force pushing people or people-sized objects around requires little to no effort but a brief pushing motion with the hand (and once again you ignore how casually Yoda shoved Palpatine's guards away in ROTS), that's shown time and again at many points in both the movies and the two animated series. As for Yoda's Force skills, well, someone who can smash huge transport ships into each other from quite a distance away as seen in the Battle of Coruscant has proven his proficiency in the Force well enough I dare say.

Also, fucking lol at your attempts to excuse for Lucas' crap writing by arguing for medical realism in Star Wars. Hey, doctor, why don't you explain how Padme could survive the incident above without getting hurt at all? I'm waiting for your sage words with bated breath (not really).

[Metahive]

Another thing, addressing your goalpost shift from "They could have been grievously harmed by Force TK" to "Yoda thought he could grievously harm them with Force TK", it's a moot speculation. Holding the column up left Yoda completely defenseless and forced him to stand still. What in his opinion would prevent Dooku from using this opportunity to cut him up causing the column to smash Obi and Ani anyway? Better to hedge your bets (although as demonstrated countless times, SW people are tough) and push them out of the way, which wouldn't even have required Yoda to let go of his lightsaber (notice that Dooku can push the column that is presumably much heavier than two people one-handed and according to his words him and Yoda were evenly matched as far as Force skills were concerned), than risk for them all to die.
Holding the column up was the worst course of action Yoda could have chosen. It also clashes with the "the good of the many" moral that Obi himself uttered only a few minutes ago to Ani and the "don't bend over backwards to save people's lives, rather be happy for those who become one with the Force"-spiel Yoda would give a movie later.

It's really nothing, but. Crappy. Contrived. Self-contradictory. Writing.

[Formless]

Okay, asshole, that's quite enough Stonewalling and acting like you haven't heard the arguments against you. You have three people now challenging your arguments (two using the same "they could have internal injuries" rebuttal), and so far all you can do is repeat yourself like a man who has sold half his gray matter to the chinese mafia for black market transplantation.

So fucking what if other people have survived impressive things in Star Wars before? They have also died from smaller things too, like being hit over the head with clubs by Ewoks. While wearing helmets. That has nothing to do with the hangar scene or the facts Yoda had at hand. That has to rank up there as the most blatant Red Herring arguments of all time. You might as well have pointed to Leia surviving a blaster bolt to the arm and concluded that blasters are harmless.

Furthermore, it ranks as one of the most obvious examples of bullshitting of all time-- Luke survived a thousand foot fall from an unknown height... and you omit that he is a trained user of the Force, so... no shit he can do that? Padme fell from a speeder going... who knows how fast? But in your mind it must have been so fast that she should have been "plastered all over the landscape". I not only watched the scene, I fucking linked to it (third post by me, fall happens at ~ the 3:52 mark), and I conclude it wasn't nearly as fast as you portray. She hit a sand dune rolling (like a trained stunt-woman...) from a low altitude, and she was in fact unconscious immediately after... like one would expect a non-force user would be after such a fall. If you want to dispute my conclusions... show your work.

Oh, but that's not the best part. You claim-- and by claim I mean lie-- that I never addressed your argument that Yoda casually threw two guards against a wall in RotS... except I not only did, I fucking linked to it to show you that Yoda, once again, waved his hand like in every other instance of Yoda using TK. For someone with a two handed lightsaber style, this is important, because it means *shock, gasp!* he would have to lower his defenses to use TK! Like every other time he uses TK!

You also ignored what that action showed him doing-- using TK as a weapon. So yes, Yoda can (using his hands) causally use TK as a weapon to hurt people. That does not mean he can or would so casually use it to move people with unknown injuries and one of whom is, since you missed it twice now, KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.

If you continue to assert Yoda can "casually" move the injured despite never actually doing so in any movie, I will alert a moderator of your behavior.

Oh, but that still isn't the best part (and I hope by now it is clear I am being sarcastic. You once again try to weasel out of admitting Yoda's limitations by... appealing to the EU. After I told you to knock that shit out, its lower on the canon scale than the movies. Do you know what that means, half-brain? It means that AotC cannot be judged or refuted by asking why it is inconsistent with the very media franchise it helped to create and further. In fact, it is the other way around. Ask Havok sometime-- there is all sorts of shit in the books that only serve to discredit the EU, including stuff found in the movie novelizations (LOL at Mace "Marty" Windu's "shatterpoints" wank in the RotS novelization).

And lastly... fuck you for dismissing Yoda's reluctance to move an unconscious fighter as "moot speculation". Ask anyone with even mere First Aid training if you should move an unconscious person. The answer is OF COURSE FUCKING NOT.

The following includes emphasis by me:

DO NOT

Do NOT wash a head wound that is deep or bleeding a lot.
Do NOT remove any object sticking out of a wound.
Do NOT move the person unless absolutely necessary.
Do NOT shake the person if he or she seems dazed.
Do NOT remove a helmet if you suspect a serious head injury.
Do NOT pick up a fallen child with any sign of head injury.
Do NOT drink alcohol within 48 hours of a serious head injury.

If severe head trauma occurs

Keep the person still. Until medical help arrives, keep the injured person lying down and quiet, with the head and shoulders slightly elevated. Don't move the person unless necessary, and avoid moving the person's neck. If the person is wearing a helmet, don't remove it.

Stop any bleeding. Apply firm pressure to the wound with sterile gauze or a clean cloth. But don't apply direct pressure to the wound if you suspect a skull fracture.

Watch for changes in breathing and alertness. If the person shows no signs of circulation (breathing, coughing or movement), begin CPR.

Serious Symptoms

Head injuries should be considered an emergency if the person is experiencing severe bleeding or any bleeding from the nose or ears, a severe headache, confusion, loss of consciousness, vomiting, seizures, slurred speech, or if breathing stops.

...

Immobilization

The injured person should be kept stationary and placed in a position that does not allow them to move any more than necessary, in order to prevent further damage.

Get this. Dismissing Anakin's unconscious state is DISHONEST. I have already linked to the scene, the facts are right there. You're fanfictional movie would have Yoda, a 900+ year old Jedi Master, ignorant of the fact that you shouldn't move someone with unknown injuries and is unconscious. It will hurt them, and Dooku would get away anyway because of Yoda's demonstrable limitations. Since your point in the beginning was that this is better writing than what we got, I hope it is clear you have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Why doesn't Dooku kill Yoda while he is distracted? This is the closest you get to hitting an example of bad writing... but still, no. The whole reason this fight happens in Dooku's personal hangar is that Dooku was trying to get the fuck off the planet. Had been trying since before the scene began. You are close, and yet so far away, because you don't actually know what it means to write well. The real question is, why does Dooku waste as much time as he did bantering about how he was now "stronger than any Jedi"? He has an appointment with his master to attend, and Yoda is ultimately irrelevant to the Plan he and Sidious have in mind. Killing Yoda is not nearly as important as getting away before any more reinforcements arrive like any of the several hundred Jedi on the planet or the millions of cloned soldiers. You know, like the ones Padme brings with her just moments after Dooku finally lifts off? Remember that? I guess not, it really helps to watch the damn scene start to finish rather than working from memory.

[Jim Raynor]

Another thing, addressing your goalpost shift from "They could have been grievously harmed by Force TK" to "Yoda thought he could grievously harm them with Force TK", it's a moot speculation. Holding the column up left Yoda completely defenseless and forced him to stand still. What in his opinion would prevent Dooku from using this opportunity to cut him up causing the column to smash Obi and Ani anyway? Better to hedge your bets (although as demonstrated countless times, SW people are tough) and push them out of the way, which wouldn't even have required Yoda to let go of his lightsaber (notice that Dooku can push the column that is presumably much heavier than two people one-handed and according to his words him and Yoda were evenly matched as far as Force skills were concerned), than risk for them all to die.
Holding the column up was the worst course of action Yoda could have chosen. It also clashes with the "the good of the many" moral that Obi himself uttered only a few minutes ago to Ani and the "don't bend over backwards to save people's lives, rather be happy for those who become one with the Force"-spiel Yoda would give a movie later.

It's really nothing, but. Crappy. Contrived. Self-contradictory. Writing.

Yoda, a tired old man who probably had his first real lightsaber fight EVER (the Sith were rendered "extinct" before even he was born) made a snap decision in the seconds that he had before the column came crashing down. And Dooku had already turned his back and ran before that even happened. So Yoda grabbed at the big column, the first thing that he saw, and the thing that Dooku pointed to...so what?

Maybe shoving Obi-Wan and Anakin, potential spinal injuries and all, is the least risky and crappy choice out of several really crappy options. But you seem to think that Yoda should not only make the best choice, but actually think about high minded morals (like the one that another character brought up in another scene) in the seconds that he had before his friends were crushed to death. This is arguably unrealistic behavior. Real people act on instinct; even the disciplined Jedi rely very heavily on instincts to fight. People are also prone to acting on the first thing that they see. So Yoda grabbed the column, possibly finding it harder to move aside than he anticipated (if he even thought about that at all). Uh, big deal?

I play Modern Warfare, and I'm good enough to average a top five score in a typical game with twenty people on each side. Just yesterday I saw an opponent running across a big room with his back turned to me, so I started shooting at him. A split second later I saw another opponent who was not only much closer to me, but also shooting at me. "Logically" this second guy should have been the priority. And that thought even occured to me without fully connecting, as I kept shooting at the first guy. Two seconds later I was dead. This is also something that happens all the time, theory, skill, and logic be damned. When the shit hits the fan and you're short on time, you just react. Like the profesional basketball player who passes to one guy even though another one might have the better shot. Or the trained soldier who might hit civilians or his own fellow troops in the middle of a crowded war zone. Oh man, what crappy writing!

Seriously, how do you even enjoy any Star Wars movie thinking like this? Pay attention to the gun fights in ANH some time. Even playing Modern Warfare, a freaking video game has educated me far beyond the tactics and techniques used in that movie. Just for an example, watch Han and Chewie resist the Stormtrooper breach into the detention center. They know exactly where the Stormtroopers are coming from. Instead taking cover behind a console, or standing off to the side where they can shoot the bad guys from a slant as they come in through the hole, Han orders Chewie to stand up tall with him, out in the open. Directly facing the hole in the wall so that they're perfectly lined up with any return fire from the Stormtroopers.

Chewie roars and leans back, apparently pointing and shooting his gun toward the ceiling instead of anywhere useful. Han fires multiple shots, pretty much all of which completely miss the hole. A hole which serves as a severe chokepoint against the Stormtroopers, but a big stationary target for Han. Seriously, he couldn't even put his shots in that hole. The first Stormtrooper apparently dies from tripping; he's not shown being shot but he also doesn't get up. He's the only Stormtrooper to "die" in that sequence. Despite having to stumble over that cowardly possum corpse, the second Stormtrooper and all the rest make it through without a scratch. Really, both sides look really bad here. Hey, it's fun to nitpick and second guess everything that goes on in these fight scenes!

And if you want "contrived," just take a look at the Battle of Yavin. A battle where Tarkin refuses to properly defend the Death Star just because he's arrogant and stupid, and the idea of shooting the gas giant Yavin goes completely unaddressed. Where the key to defeating the almighty Death Star is some cheesy little hole, which the Rebels have to attack in a completely bizarre way that bears no resemblance to anything in actual warfare. The truth, so I've heard, is that Lucas liked some WW2 movie about Allied bombers having to fly down a canyon to bomb a Nazi dam or something. A scenario that he ported over to Star Wars with little regard for the vastly different technology level, as a way to stop a threat that was too wanked out to beat any other way. Man, how contrived and stupid!

But really, this isn't anything I've ever complained about. Some of this stuff isn't even anything that a movie watcher would notice or think of, unless they're continually dwelling on the movie or rewatching it. Really, who cares about this crap? Star Wars is a series of fun action movies, inspired by the pulp serials that Lucas watched when he was a boy. I remember when I was a kid, joking with my friends about how a smuggler and a farm boy could casually take out hundreds of crack military troops. Little did I know that years later, Star Wars would become Serious Business with people nitpicking every little move made by the characters.

Yoda grabbed the column because he saw it first and reacted. There. End of story.

[Simon_Jester]

Probably because he moves bigger stuff than any other Jedi in the movie, as far as I can remember. Normal Jedi don't throw around huge rocks or fighter jets. If he's bad at telekinesis, how come he can handle more weight than anyone else?

[Lord Revan]

another thing we should consider is training, while KOTOR and TOR era jedi can lift some rather large objects and use them offensively, this was during an era when fights between force users were more common place, while Yoda was trained and lived during an era when there were next to no fights between force users. so it's not unreasonble to assume he never bothered to learn to use telekinetic abilities to the extent as earlier jedi instead focusing on other aspects like the ones you can use to make yourself a better diplomat.

[Ford Prefect]

Watch out for those spinal injuries, Obi Wan!

[Stark]

Man the direction in that fight is soooooo bad.

[Darksider]

Man the direction in that fight is soooooo bad.

The only fights in the prequels that were any good were the Duel against Maul in Ep1, and the final duel in Ep3. Dooku's fights were all-together too short, add them both up and they're like half the length of the fight against Maul. I've also had people tell me they like the duel between Palpatine and Windu, but I personally don't care for it.

[Enigma]

What a Jedi does with the Force, he does with his mind- every use of the Force is a direct extension of the Jedi's will overriding the ordinary laws of the universe. It's hardly farfetched to wonder if there's a feedback loop involved: if you use the Force to rip people apart by sheer force of will, it may impact your own psychological makeup.

This makes a certain amount of sense. What it doesn't explain is why a Jedi can't routinely win fights against other Jedi/Sith by just lifting them six inches off the ground using TK and saying "what you gonna do now?" This requires the "passive resistance" postulate already discussed, or some other explanation.

Because the affected Jedi\Sith would either Force Push or Choke the living daylights out of that Jedi. You are just lifting him up, not incapacitating him in any way from using the Force too. lol.

But yeah, passive resistance.