http://www.gilchrist.cwc.net/starwars/swjokes.html
good stuff ^^
star wars jokes
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Enforcer Talen
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star wars jokes
This day is Fantastic!
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Political Compass: -3/-6
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"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
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SirNitram
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Oh, these are great. Especially these.
THE TOP TEN REASONS STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN STAR TREK
10. The only warship the Federation has is the Defiant; The Rebel
Alliance has starFIGHTERS, starCRUISERS, and escort FRIGATES.
9. The Star Trek people have phasers that look like modified
dustbusters, the Star Wars people have BLASTers, which look like real
guns.
8. Han Solo could kick Harry Mudd's butt any day.
7. Darth Vader could kick both Picard's and Kirk's butts any day.
6. In Star Wars, there is no "Prime Directive"
5. Not all of the ships in Star Wars look like flying Saucers with two
sewer pipes sticking out behind them.
4. Harrison Ford(Han Solo) is a much better actor than William
Shatner(Captain Kirk)
3. Aliens that look like something other than humans with forehead
ridges, nose ridges, pointy ears, etc.
2. The Super Star Destroyer "EXECUTOR" could kick the Galaxy Class
Starship "ENTERPRISE's" butt any day.
And the number one reason that Star Wars is better than Star Trek:
The movie, Star Trek: Generations
THE TOP TEN REASONS STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN STAR TREK
10. The only warship the Federation has is the Defiant; The Rebel
Alliance has starFIGHTERS, starCRUISERS, and escort FRIGATES.
9. The Star Trek people have phasers that look like modified
dustbusters, the Star Wars people have BLASTers, which look like real
guns.
8. Han Solo could kick Harry Mudd's butt any day.
7. Darth Vader could kick both Picard's and Kirk's butts any day.
6. In Star Wars, there is no "Prime Directive"
5. Not all of the ships in Star Wars look like flying Saucers with two
sewer pipes sticking out behind them.
4. Harrison Ford(Han Solo) is a much better actor than William
Shatner(Captain Kirk)
3. Aliens that look like something other than humans with forehead
ridges, nose ridges, pointy ears, etc.
2. The Super Star Destroyer "EXECUTOR" could kick the Galaxy Class
Starship "ENTERPRISE's" butt any day.
And the number one reason that Star Wars is better than Star Trek:
The movie, Star Trek: Generations
Manic Progressive: A liberal who violently swings from anger at politicos to despondency over them.
Out Of Context theatre: Ron Paul has repeatedly said he's not a racist. - Destructinator XIII on why Ron Paul isn't racist.
Shadowy Overlord - BMs/Black Mage Monkey - BOTM/Jetfire - Cybertron's Finest/General Miscreant/ASVS/Supermoderator Emeritus
Debator Classification: Trollhunter
Out Of Context theatre: Ron Paul has repeatedly said he's not a racist. - Destructinator XIII on why Ron Paul isn't racist.
Shadowy Overlord - BMs/Black Mage Monkey - BOTM/Jetfire - Cybertron's Finest/General Miscreant/ASVS/Supermoderator Emeritus
Debator Classification: Trollhunter
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Doomriser
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Sexually Tilted Lines In "Star Wars"
"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
"Look at the size of that thing!"
"Sorry about the mess..."
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
"Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
"You've got something jammed in here real good."
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"
"Luke, at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
"Get in there, you big furry oaf, I don't care WHAT you smell!"
"fast enough for you, old man?"
Sexually Tilted Lines In "The Empire Strikes Back"
"And I thought they smelled bad...on the OUTSIDE!"
"Possible he came in through the south entrance."
"I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"
"Hurry up, golden rod..."
"That's OK, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
"But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
"Control, control! You must learn control."
"There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
"Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!"
Sexually Tilted Lines In "Return Of The Jedi"
"I need more men."
"Our instructions are to give it only to Jabba himself."
"Thanks for coming after me."
"Rise, my friend."
"I can't do it, R2."
"Look, I want you to take her."
"I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come."
"General Solo, somebody's coming."
"I have felt him, my master."
"Strange that I have not.
"Hey, point that thing someplace else."
"I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
"I never knew I had it in me."
"There is good in him, I've felt it."
"Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
"A little higher, just a little higher."
"Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
"Back door, huh? Good idea!"
"She's gonna blow!"
"I think you'll fit in nicely."
"You're a jittery little thing aren't you?"
"In time you will call me master."
"What could possibly have come over Master Luke?"
"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
"Look at the size of that thing!"
"Sorry about the mess..."
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
"Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
"You've got something jammed in here real good."
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"
"Luke, at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
"Get in there, you big furry oaf, I don't care WHAT you smell!"
"fast enough for you, old man?"
Sexually Tilted Lines In "The Empire Strikes Back"
"And I thought they smelled bad...on the OUTSIDE!"
"Possible he came in through the south entrance."
"I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"
"Hurry up, golden rod..."
"That's OK, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
"But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
"Control, control! You must learn control."
"There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
"Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!"
Sexually Tilted Lines In "Return Of The Jedi"
"I need more men."
"Our instructions are to give it only to Jabba himself."
"Thanks for coming after me."
"Rise, my friend."
"I can't do it, R2."
"Look, I want you to take her."
"I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come."
"General Solo, somebody's coming."
"I have felt him, my master."
"Strange that I have not.
"Hey, point that thing someplace else."
"I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
"I never knew I had it in me."
"There is good in him, I've felt it."
"Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
"A little higher, just a little higher."
"Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
"Back door, huh? Good idea!"
"She's gonna blow!"
"I think you'll fit in nicely."
"You're a jittery little thing aren't you?"
"In time you will call me master."
"What could possibly have come over Master Luke?"
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consequences
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Needa
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"the number one reason that "Star Wars" isn't that much better than "Star Trek": Jar-Jar Binks"
Yep but remember ST has Weasley Crusher.[/quote]
Yep but remember ST has Weasley Crusher.[/quote]
Before you, pitiful trolls, invade this forum take note that:
Mr. Bean will not fear using his irony agaisnt you.
Sir Nitram will burn your idiotic arguments.
Grand Admiral Thrawn will generously dismember your illogical thoughts.
Master of Ossus will bash your stupidity.
And if you are still alive, DARTH WONG WILL CRUSH WHAT'S LEFT. You have been warned.
Mr. Bean will not fear using his irony agaisnt you.
Sir Nitram will burn your idiotic arguments.
Grand Admiral Thrawn will generously dismember your illogical thoughts.
Master of Ossus will bash your stupidity.
And if you are still alive, DARTH WONG WILL CRUSH WHAT'S LEFT. You have been warned.
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Cpt_Frank
- Official SD.Net Evil Warsie Asshole
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Wesley is worse than Jar-Jar."the number one reason that "Star Wars" isn't that much better than "Star Trek": Jar-Jar Binks"
So far jar-jar just pissed us off during 1 movie which wasn't that good anyway, and a few minutes of AOTC where he wasn't that annoying at all.
Wesley, on the other hand, was present in every single TNG episode.
Out of them all, this one's the true classic.Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie."
Supermod
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Howedar
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Soontir C'boath
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I like the lines that were replaced with pants....
This one is my absolute favorite.
"Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time! "
Cyaround,
JAson[/b]
This one is my absolute favorite.
"Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time! "
Cyaround,
JAson[/b]
I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
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Luke Starkiller
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Howedar
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Enforcer Talen
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anh, just before one of the rebel fighters exploded
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
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Subnormal
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