Is "Solitaire" a song about masturbation?

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-14 01:49am

It was supposed to be a romantic night with my date. She'd be back on her hometown on Sunday, so we were spending time on my place, sharing drinks together while listening to some really mellow tunes on the CD she brought.

And in a moment, our romantic mood abruptly ceased as I suddenly choked and bursted in laughter. See, one of the songs she had on the CD is Solitaire by Karen Carpenter. It is *this* particular part of the song that caught my attention:

There was a man
A lonely man
Who would command
The hand he’s playing

Yup, ladies & gentlemen. "The HAND he's playing". Not to mention that the guy depicted in the song is a lonely guy. So I wonder who's the pervert who wrote the lyrics. Or did the Carpenters wrote the song themselves? WHAT was in their head when they wrote it?

Petrosjko · Post by **Petrosjko** » 2004-12-14 02:49am

I could ruin your fun by pointing out that, y'know, solitaire, 'hand of cards' and so on, but naaaaaaaah.

Besides, if you personify your hands, it's not solo, is it? Especially if you use both, then it's a threesome.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-14 03:00am

Petrosjko wrote:I could ruin your fun by pointing out that, y'know, solitaire, 'hand of cards' and so on, but naaaaaaaah.

Well, if you're as lonely as the guy depicted in the song, what would be the better way to use your HAND: playing with mere cards or playing with something else?

Petrosjko wrote: Besides, if you personify your hands, it's not solo, is it? Especially if you use both, then it's a threesome.

Years ago when I was a highschool virgin, I used to address my hands, each with distinct name. Their names were 'Suzy' and 'Clara'. Thus I could deny with straight face when my friends asked me whether I've ever masturbated or not.

Of course, it was all ended after I lost my virginity.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-12-14 11:45am

If you are nitpicky enough, any song can be about masturbation. Even the instrumentals. And they can also be about drugs, satanism, and white supremacy too.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2004-12-14 01:29pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:
There was a man
A lonely man
Who would command
The hand he?s playing

Yup, ladies & gentlemen. "The HAND he's playing". Not to mention that the guy depicted in the song is a lonely guy. So I wonder who's the pervert who wrote the lyrics. Or did the Carpenters wrote the song themselves? WHAT was in their head when they wrote it?

Unless the next words are "with himself with." then, really it doesnt seem to be about anything more than a game of cards.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-12-14 01:36pm

Elvis sings that too. We all know he did tons of masturbating.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-14 02:22pm

Alright, most of you guys keep insisting about card game, but please consider the fact that the song is about a lonely guy. Frankly, when you're alone and has no one to bang, will playing some game of cards be the first thing that comes into your mind?

Strange, though. After I explained to my date the reason why I laughed at that song, she haven't contacted me again until now. All my calls have been ignored as well. Is she just being too sensitive, or I'm just a pervert?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-12-14 04:24pm

All my calls have been ignored as well. Is she just being too sensitive, or I'm just a pervert?

You're not a perv, you're a guy. If she can't handle that then you probably don't want her anyway. Unless she's a religious nut though, she probably just wasn't into you in the first place.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2004-12-14 04:37pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote: Strange, though. After I explained to my date the reason why I laughed at that song, she haven't contacted me again until now. All my calls have been ignored as well. Is she just being too sensitive, or I'm just a pervert?

You start laughing because you think one of her favorite songs is about masterbation, and you wonder why she's not called you back?

Geesh... I'd not have called you back either, ruining a favorite song like that!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-12-14 09:23pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Years ago when I was a highschool virgin, I used to address my hands, each with distinct name. Their names were 'Suzy' and 'Clara'.

So which one was better in bed, and did they have lesbian sessions?

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2004-12-14 09:40pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Alright, most of you guys keep insisting about card game, but please consider the fact that the song is about a lonely guy. Frankly, when you're alone and has no one to bang, will playing some game of cards be the first thing that comes into your mind?

If he wasn't lonely, would he be wasting his time playing solitaire?

I know I wouldn't play solitaire if I had anything better to be doing.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-14 10:42pm

LadyTevar wrote:
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote: Strange, though. After I explained to my date the reason why I laughed at that song, she haven't contacted me again until now. All my calls have been ignored as well. Is she just being too sensitive, or I'm just a pervert?
You start laughing because you think one of her favorite songs is about masterbation, and you wonder why she's not called you back?

Geesh... I'd not have called you back either, ruining a favorite song like that!

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-14 10:47pm

Superman wrote:
All my calls have been ignored as well. Is she just being too sensitive, or I'm just a pervert?
You're not a perv, you're a guy. If she can't handle that then you probably don't want her anyway. Unless she's a religious nut though, she probably just wasn't into you in the first place.

Actually, few years ago I had a GF who shared the same level of perversion with me.... Too bad she's married now, and her husband is conservatively religious!

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-14 10:48pm

The Dark wrote:
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Alright, most of you guys keep insisting about card game, but please consider the fact that the song is about a lonely guy. Frankly, when you're alone and has no one to bang, will playing some game of cards be the first thing that comes into your mind?
If he wasn't lonely, would he be wasting his time playing solitaire? I know I wouldn't play solitaire if I had anything better to be doing.

Well, the song is about a guy "playing solitaire" after all. So I guess it's all back to our own definition of "solitaire". Now, how about writing a petition to Microsoft to redefine its Windows version of Solitaire? Anyone?

Mopeyennuui · Post by **Mopeyennuui** » 2004-12-15 04:53am

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:There was a man
A lonely man
Who would command
The hand he’s playing

How about you get yoru head out of your rear and shut it, It's about a lonley guy who never leaves the house (I could add to your arguemeht but I won't).

Infact I know of one near where I live, sad case. . .

Shit, want to ruin another song I know?

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2004-12-15 05:13am

KAN, Solitaire is a card game, a hand is a term used in a card game, the song is about a card game.

In conclusion, you are trying Far. Too. Bloody. Hard.

Goodnight. *Slams door*

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-15 10:09am

Zerg Goddess wrote:
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:There was a man
A lonely man
Who would command
The hand he’s playing
How about you get yoru head out of your rear and shut it, It's about a lonley guy who never leaves the house (I could add to your arguemeht but I won't).

Infact I know of one near where I live, sad case. . .

Shit, want to ruin another song I know?

Pcm979 wrote:KAN, Solitaire is a card game, a hand is a term used in a card game, the song is about a card game.

In conclusion, you are trying Far. Too. Bloody. Hard.

Goodnight. *Slams door*

First my date, and now you guys. I mean, why it's so hard for you people to open up your mind and start accepting new ways of thinking & imaginations?

Anyway, Zerg Goddess, your argument about "a lonely guy who never leaves the house" actually strengthtened my point. See, when you never leave the house and have nobody to get laid, what will be the first on your to-do list? And Pcm, after a thorough research on the lyrics, which is a canon source, I didn't find any word like 'card' or such. Then, applying Occam's Razor, I believe the simplest explanation about 'hand' would be none other than.....

ALRIGHT!! ALRIGHT!!!! 'SOLITAIRE' IS A SONG ABOUT CARD GAME!!!! NOW POINT THOSE SHOTGUNS ELSEWHERE OR SOMEBODY MAY GET HURT!!!!

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-12-15 10:13am

It's about him being lonely.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-15 10:17am

Superman wrote:It's about him being lonely.

:trying so hard to not making another explanation about the most possible thing to do when one's being alone:

Mopeyennuui · Post by **Mopeyennuui** » 2004-12-15 11:12am

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:
Superman wrote:It's about him being lonely.
:trying so hard to not making another explanation about the most possible thing to do when one's being alone:

Give it up.

bohemianfey · Post by **bohemianfey** » 2004-12-15 01:47pm

It's probably one of those songs that's meant be interpreted either way. If people want to find it sixk, g'head but if they don't that works too.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-12-15 02:07pm

bohemianfey wrote:It's probably one of those songs that's meant be interpreted either way. If people want to find it sixk, g'head but if they don't that works too.

So there are other songs?

Mopeyennuui · Post by **Mopeyennuui** » 2004-12-17 04:26am

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:
bohemianfey wrote:It's probably one of those songs that's meant be interpreted either way. If people want to find it sixk, g'head but if they don't that works too.
No there isn't you hatass. ARFGGGGGGGGGg.

So there are other songs?

Mopeyennuui · Post by **Mopeyennuui** » 2004-12-17 04:27am

Zerg Goddess wrote:
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:
bohemianfey wrote:It's probably one of those songs that's meant be interpreted either way. If people want to find it sixk, g'head but if they don't that works too.
So there are other songs?

No there isn't you hatass. ARFGGGGGGGGGg.

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Is "Solitaire" a song about masturbation?

Is "Solitaire" a song about masturbation?

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