Attention all men: We must stare at breasts more!

[aerius]

http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/news ... 31320.html

Stare at boobs for longer life: Study
by Neharika Sabharwal - December 6, 2009


Frankfurt, Germany, December 6 -- A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

A five-year research on 500 men
Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

At the close of the study, the researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery [a blood vessel that carries oxygenated blood away from the heart to the body.] disease.

Sexual desire linked to better blood circulation
The researchers declared that sexual desire gives rise to better blood circulation that signifies an overall improved health.

Weatherby explained the concept stating, "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.

The German research is believed to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine.

You all knew this already, but we now have SCIENTIFIC PROOF that staring at womens' tits is good for your health, and can add around 5 years to your life expectancy. How good is that?

[Gerald Tarrant]

Was there a control group? Or are the folks who were told not to stare at breasts just experiencing porn withdrawal symptoms?

[Patrick Degan]

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

To quote Ambassador Desadsky: "I must admit, you have an astonishingly good idea there, doctor."

[KhyronTheBackstabber]

You know what this means?

I'm immortal!

[ArmorPierce]

Women calm and relaxes guys. Not a surprise. I believe there been studies stating that single men die younger as well.

[Elfdart]

You know what this means?

I'm immortal!

I am going to live FOREVER!

I figure Eva Amurri by herself could prolong more lives than Jonas Salk with his polio vaccine.

Though to be fair, even if checking out breasts took five twenty-five years off my life I'd still do it.

[Elfdart]

Aw shit.

[Dooey Jo]

I love how people immediately go and sagely agree with this just ten years old hoax, "oh yes no big surprise there yes yes why question things that 'make sense'"

[PeZook]

I love how people immediately go and sagely agree with this just ten years old hoax, "oh yes no big surprise there yes yes why question things that 'make sense'"

Reminds me of creationists and conspiracy theorists BURN!

There's no way I'm telling my wife it's a hoax, though.

[Twigler]

I have to admit that the first thing to come to mind was not, "yay, I can now uncomfortably stare at breasts everywhere without feeling guilty", but, "how the hell did they figure out that it extends your life?"
I'm not sure if that's a good thing. sometimes the truth can be too cruel.

[Ilya Muromets]

The German research is believed to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine.

"Believed to be" published in a journal? They couldn't be assed to check? Smells fishy.

EDIT: Just saw Elfdart's Snopes link. So it was bull.

Still, I shall do my own study to see for myself whether this is complete fiction or whether it does have some basis in fact. (Wonder if you can cite porno mags APA-style...)For science, of course.

[tim31]

There's no way I'm telling my wife it's a hoax, though.

It may be a cultural gap or something

But I think that as far as staring at your wife's rack you might just get away with it.

[Kanastrous]

My wife uses hers to distract me from things that she doesn't want me to notice.

[muse]

Aw shit.

And the moral of this story?
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

[General Zod]

I have to admit that the first thing to come to mind was not, "yay, I can now uncomfortably stare at breasts everywhere without feeling guilty", but, "how the hell did they figure out that it extends your life?"
I'm not sure if that's a good thing. sometimes the truth can be too cruel.

I'd be more concerned with how they managed to get half the volunteers to refrain from staring. Do they lock them up in some room with no access to the outside world? I mean really getting them to refrain from staring sounds like the impossible part.

[Kanastrous]

I'm thinking electric shocks.

[The Guid]

Even if this wasn't a fake surely this aroused suspicions:

Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

(emphasis mine)

[General Zod]

Even if this wasn't a fake surely this aroused suspicions:

Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

(emphasis mine)

Uhm, yes. I said the same thing two posts up.

[ArmorPierce]

Aww I thought it was awkward but I guess I wanted it to be true

[The Guid]

Even if this wasn't a fake surely this aroused suspicions:

Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

(emphasis mine)

Uhm, yes. I said the same thing two posts up.

Clearly I was distracted by the very concept of breasts.

[Eddie Van Helsing]

Even though it's bullshit, I have two questions:

• Do I have to just stare, or can I also touch if the woman is willing?
• Do I get the same benefit from staring at her ass as well?

[General Zod]

[*]Do I have to just stare, or can I also touch if the woman is willing?[*]

. . . This question doesn't deserve a dignified response.