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top secret uber ninja training

Posted: 2004-12-20 09:57pm
by Enforcer Talen
http://www.topsecrettraining.com/

friend sent me this. fear the amazing skills an unnamed liuetenant can teach you!

Re: top secret uber ninja training

Posted: 2004-12-20 10:11pm
by Knighthawk
Enforcer Talen wrote:http://www.topsecrettraining.com/

friend sent me this. fear the amazing skills an unnamed liuetenant can teach you!
....

...

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Interesting...

yeah...

-K

Posted: 2004-12-20 10:22pm
by aerius
If I had a dime for every time I saw one of these things I'd be rich. Yes there are shortcuts. Yes there are generalized techniques that will work under a wide range of conditions. Yes there are ways to learn, adapt, & apply techniques to changing situations. Instead of shelling out 90 bucks for a DVD set, just spend some quality time on SDF, read through all the threads, ask questions to clarify things, and in the end you'll be much better off.

Posted: 2004-12-20 11:12pm
by Petrosjko
There is a point in the midst of all the macho bullshit. Attitude is an incredibly significant factor, the ability and willingness to drop into 'pit bull' mode is something that most people lack.

But otherwise... yippee, buy my video and the guy who kicks sand in your face on the beach will be cowering before you!

Posted: 2004-12-21 12:10am
by Executor32
Wow, if I combine this with the Mr. Atlas muscle program, I can really kick the sand-kicker's ass!

Posted: 2004-12-21 12:53am
by Queeb Salaron
For the low low price of $87, YOU TOO can be privy to tapes shot on a Sony Handicam showing footage of me making an ass of myself in my backyard! Buy now, and I'll throw in this poorly-made set of plastic nunchucks I found in the toy weapons section at my local Wal-Mart! But wait! There's more! If you're not completely satisfied with your purchase, I'll give you a full refund, minus the cost of shipping and handling and any other fees that I deem necessary, a value that changes monthly depending on how much money I spend on internet porn and phone sex!

Don't delay! Buy now!

Posted: 2004-12-21 05:02pm
by Gunhead
"BAH! Your kung-fu is pigdung." "I am the master of the supadupaubertechnique of clobber a man from behind with a brick and run like hell."

8)

-Gunhead

Posted: 2004-12-21 09:50pm
by Mitth`raw`nuruodo
Image

Posted: 2004-12-21 09:59pm
by Ghost Rider
Oi jesus fuck...this is anything to with SLAM again how :roll: .

Onto OT...where at least it fits the parameters.

Posted: 2004-12-21 10:06pm
by Enforcer Talen
I dunno. we've put other bizarre things in slam before.

Posted: 2004-12-21 10:22pm
by Petrosjko
Queeb Salaron wrote:For the low low price of $87, YOU TOO can be privy to tapes shot on a Sony Handicam showing footage of me making an ass of myself in my backyard! Buy now, and I'll throw in this poorly-made set of plastic nunchucks I found in the toy weapons section at my local Wal-Mart! But wait! There's more! If you're not completely satisfied with your purchase, I'll give you a full refund, minus the cost of shipping and handling and any other fees that I deem necessary, a value that changes monthly depending on how much money I spend on internet porn and phone sex!

Don't delay! Buy now!
Hey, I already bought into your webcam subscription service, only to find out that most of your day consists of consuming cheese puffs and pornsurfing on the net... you're gonna have to toss in something extra to make this worth my while.

Posted: 2004-12-21 11:24pm
by Dalton
He can make your kid smarter too!

Same putz: +http://www.nobletraining.com/index.htm

WHOIS and Google, what a combination ;)

Posted: 2004-12-22 12:51am
by Queeb Salaron
Petrosjko wrote:Hey, I already bought into your webcam subscription service, only to find out that most of your day consists of consuming cheese puffs and pornsurfing on the net... you're gonna have to toss in something extra to make this worth my while.
Yes, but you were privy to the AWESOME secrets of the self-employed entrepreneur! You saw how I worked at home from my own office! I am my own boss, make my own hours! No one looking over my shoulder, making deadlines, or telling me that I can't have cheese puffs in the office unless I bring enough for the entire fucking staff, those miserable obese motherfuckers, trying to get me to go to the post office on my lunch break so they can sneak in my desk and steal my anchovie-and-bratwurst sandwich again, so I have to call my mom to tell her to bring me another, meanwhile that weasel-faced scummuncher in payroll keeps eyeing Dora, who is obviously MY girl, or at least she would be if she could only see that I'm a kind, loving, peaceful kind of guy who more than makes up for his lack of good looks with his biting wit and cunning, not to mention being hung like a mammoth...

I'm sorry, was I talking aloud just then?

Uh... buy now!

Posted: 2004-12-22 04:37pm
by brianeyci
That Site wrote: Incredible “military tricks” that will take you from absolute rookie to a master of hand-to-hand combat in just a few short hours!

How to become relaxed, confident, and motivated every single training session!

Insider fighting secrets that only the most elite soldiers who have faced real combat could ever share with you!

How to absorb any, and I mean ANY, martial art or “fighting system” you want to learn…quickly and effortlessly!

The 9 “tactical” combat coordinates you must know to win a violent encounter with any attacker- including the horrendous “Hollywood” mistakes most people make that get them seriously hurt or killed! (Some of the “normal tendencies” you have are 100% wrong!)

The guaranteed, easiest, most effortless way to toss ANY man right on his head...and break his arm on the way down if you choose to do so!

Why a simple change in your “mindset” will mean the difference between being a victim…and being safe!

How to snatch a loaded gun right out of a "Gangsta's" hand so damn fast it will literally tear his trigger finger off! (and then how to cave his chest in without skipping a beat)

Single escape and takedown moves that require no strength whatsoever! (Perfect to teach your kids and wife…or to use when you’re hurt or attacked by bigger men!)

How to immediately win a fight if you find yourself on the ground, on your back, with a bigger opponent on top of you!

How to control the “shakes” and super-hot adrenaline dump that occurs during tense, violent situations! (You’ll be cool, smooth and effective no matter how confusing things get…just the opposite of how most men react!)

The one “basic” mistake even some cops and soldiers make (despite their expensive training) that erases their training advantage in a streetfight! (You’ll never fall victim to it yourself)

How to lock “new” combat information into your long-term memory and autonomic nervous systems!

How to “finish” a complicated situation (like the guard) with clever (yet simple) tactics that will guarantee you have complete control over your opponent!

And much, much, more…
ROTFL, Gogogogogog Lieutenant X sounds like you could kill the entire 101 Airborne in unarmed combat all together, what about special forces I bet JTF2's hip kick doesn't even faze you. Man, where were you when I was 6 and that bully broke my snowman, I could have broken his head even though I weighed under 100 pounds!

Brian