Saruman VS Bowser

[Ford Prefect]

Just makes you thinbk what would Bowser do with a Palantir. Probablt try to look up Peaches skirt.

Mock Sauron, of course.

[The Dark]

But, after all this, you just know the Palantir will be in another Tower.

As a minor side note, have we ever seen a Bullet/Banzai Bill explode (other tgan in Super Smash Bros., which doesn't count)? It goes seem that Bowser's armies are surprisingly light on explosives.

Super Mario Sunshine. The ones fired by Monty Mole's cannon exploded. There were also Bob-omb mortars on Koopa's tank in SMB3.

As far as Bills go, there's the Bullet Bill, the Missile Bill (which is semi-homing), Banzai Bill, Sniper Bill, and Bouncing Bullet Bill.

[Praxis]

I wonder about the durability of the airships. They clearly had no problem firing dozens of cannons at Mario while he was running along the deck, even though they were shooting into their own hull...

[Eframepilot]

I wonder about the durability of the airships. They clearly had no problem firing dozens of cannons at Mario while he was running along the deck, even though they were shooting into their own hull...

No, they weren't. They were shooting past their own hulls on the side facing the screen.

They do seem to be fireproof and explosion-proof, though.... not to mention raccoon-tail-proof, Tanuki-statue-proof, and even hammer-proof.

[Ice]

They do seem to be fireproof and explosion-proof, though.... not to mention raccoon-tail-proof, Tanuki-statue-proof, and even hammer-proof.

Hammer-proof, you're right. Not even the Death Star was hammer-proof!

Ok, so it's fairly clear that Bowser would walk all over Saruman (perhaps even literally). So who would be a relatively even match for him given a middle ages type setting?

Aside from Mario himself.

[Praxis]

I wonder about the durability of the airships. They clearly had no problem firing dozens of cannons at Mario while he was running along the deck, even though they were shooting into their own hull...

No, they weren't. They were shooting past their own hulls on the side facing the screen.

They do seem to be fireproof and explosion-proof, though.... not to mention raccoon-tail-proof, Tanuki-statue-proof, and even hammer-proof.

If that were true then the cannons wouldn't have hit Mario. More likely we can chalk it up to the game not implementing collisions between cannonballs and walls.

Regardless, you'll recall some of the airships and actual water ships releasing Bo-bombs on their own hull; the ships and tanks and airships are apparently unharmed by multiple explosions.

[Praxis]

So who would be a relatively even match for him given a middle ages type setting?

Middle ages setting? Bowser would walk all over anyone in a middle ages setting using tanks and airships.



I'm not sure if this would be worthy of a new thread or not. If it is (being a new topic), mods please split it.



Bowser vs Hoth

For some unexplained reason, Bowser's entire army (ALL of it) is transported onto the planet Hoth, approximately where the Imperial forces would have landed. Seeing this, Darth Vader decides to save himself the trouble and offers Bowser gold and a space vessel if he does him a favor and destroys the Rebels there.


The Rebels do the same thing as before; X-Wings are sent out covering the escaping transports, so there are no X-Wings in this battle. The only aerial ships the Rebels can use in battle are the Airspeeders.

Everything plays out exactly like the Battle of Hoth, except with Bowser's army instead of the Imperials.

Bowser gets everything from every game. Meaning an army of goombas and koopas, large amounts of paratroopas, and tons of minibosses. That also means 7 large airships armed with cannons (and some have bo-bombs), and a fleet of small airships flown by monty moles with cannons and wrenches.

Bowser's water ships are dropped in the snow by whatever force deposited him there, so I guess they'll sit there as his base of operations.

Bowser's also got a lot of tanks armed with cannons and bo-bombs. However, how well these will work in snowy conditions is unknown.

Bowser also gets Wario, who he has paid off in gold.

The Rebels function exactly like in the movie; they have trenches and guns, large and small, and armed troops and turrets and airspeeders. Bowser clearly has the larger air force but the speeders are probably much faster, more durable and better armed.

Can cannonballs take down an airspeeder? Bullet Bills?


Who wins?

[The Grim Squeaker]

Ok, so it's fairly clear that Bowser would walk all over Saruman (perhaps even literally). So who would be a relatively even match for him given a middle ages type setting?

For Bowser or his armies?

The Only middle-age type empires I can see competing with his are the large scale, extremely powerful ones with extremely competent hard hitting long range mages (Such as Netheril or the Malazan Empire or arguably Thay), though it's iffy due to unknown numbers or durability & the heinously powerful artillery.

[Ford Prefect]

Who wins?

Amusing though the scenario is, Bowser would loose. He hasn't got the firepower, or range to do it. His heaviest units - the airships - won't be able to get through the shield.

[Loner]

They do seem to be fireproof and explosion-proof, though.... not to mention raccoon-tail-proof, Tanuki-statue-proof, and even hammer-proof.

Hammer-proof, you're right. Not even the Death Star was hammer-proof!

Original.

[Praxis]

Who wins?

Amusing though the scenario is, Bowser would loose. He hasn't got the firepower, or range to do it. His heaviest units - the airships - won't be able to get through the shield.

Not necessarily. Bowser has the numbers and the range to do it; a number of his units are capable of dropping enemies (Birds in Super Mario Bros 2 carrying bo-bombs for example), and his airships can hit the ground troops. Hundreds of paratroopers and flying goombas and fireballs will flood the skies with too many targets for the airspeeders to cover, and hundreds (thousands?) of goombas and koopas will flood the floors. Some of the minibosses are ridiculously powerful, and the airships can carry loads of enemies.

Bowser likely vastly outnumbers the Rebels, though the Rebels have far more powerful weaponry. The shield'll only hold off the large airships; tanks and the fleet of small airships shouldn't have a problem.


Seems to me that Bowser could potentially flood the battleground with targets (ground and air, goombas and koopas and paratroopas etc etc) and deliver bombs to hit the Rebel lines.

[RogueIce]

If there were Albatosses in any game but SMB2, I'd be enthusiastic about their ability to drop Bob-ombs from altitude, but they've (AFAIK) never worked for Bowser.

If those are the same birds I'm thinking of, they're in SMW. They are the replacements for the Bullet Bills if you get through all the Special Zones and enter the alternate world. I suppose it's a matter of how "canonical" that world is though.

Loner: I was looking for that. My Google-fu is weak. Thanks though!

[LaserRifleofDoom]

Ok, so it's fairly clear that Bowser would walk all over Saruman (perhaps even literally). So who would be a relatively even match for him given a middle ages type setting?

Aside from Mario himself.

The Empire from Warhammer Fantasy? I don't know much about them, but they've got guns and steam tanks. Presumably if they could field a large enough army they would be able to deal with Bowser's air force.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Just makes you thinbk what would Bowser do with a Palantir. Probablt try to look up Peaches skirt.

Mock Sauron, of course.

I'm actually a little more interested in knowing what would happen if Bowser got wind of this much sought-after "Ring" that everyone seems to be tripping over themselves to own. I doubt he'd have the same problems as Sauron in finding and releiving Frodo of it.

Also, what would the response of the Fellowship be? And would the prospect of Bowser taking the ring spur the Valar into action?

[Setzer]

I'm surprised no one's made a comment comparing Mario to Chuck Norris.

[Ford Prefect]

I'm surprised no one's made a comment comparing Mario to Chuck Norris.

Compare Mario to Chuck Norris? Why would we make such a lopsided comparison? It's just patently unfair on Chuck.

[Enigma]

I'm surprised no one's made a comment comparing Mario to Chuck Norris.

Compare Mario to Chuck Norris? Why would we make such a lopsided comparison? It's just patently unfair on Chuck.

More of an insult to Mario. Why would Mario be compared to a has-been?

[ANGELUS]

Additional ranged troops include the Sledge Brothers, the Boomerang Brothers, and the Flying Hammer Brothers. There's also a Chomp Brother who uses a Chain Chomp as his weapon. There are the Boom Guys, Shy Guys with head-mounted cannon. Some Shy Guys also wield slingshots, which would be the least effective of the missile weapons, but still useful for additional skirmishing ability. Rocky Wrench defends the Doom Ships and tanks by throwing wrenches at enemies, although that might depend on if the vehicles are considered part of Bowser's army.

Paratroopas give an interesting quirk to the Koopas, since it provides aerial troops, although their slow flight speed could leave them vulnerable to crossbows.

The magic of Magikoopas would be largely an unknown - we know they can cast fire from their wands and teleport, as well as turn objects into Koopas, but it's unclear if the objects were originally Koopas left as an ambush or not.

There would also be the Ninji from Super Mario World. Thwomps/Thwimps/Whomps would be difficult to beat as well, particularly the Whomps. A walking stone block that falls on things would be hard for the uruk-hai's slag swords to destroy.


If there were Albatosses in any game but SMB2, I'd be enthusiastic about their ability to drop Bob-ombs from altitude, but they've (AFAIK) never worked for Bowser.

Lets not forget that Bowser also has giant koopas and goombas as shown on SMB3 world 4.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Seems to me that Bowser can breed or magically resize his troops to fit his needs. It would probably explain why most of the troops occupying Peach's castle were smaller "compact" models, whereas Koopa the Quick was the default size.

[Praxis]

Not to mention that Kamek could giganticize (yeah that's a technical term) anyone he felt like. Every miniboss in Yoshi's Island had some magic powder sprinkled upon them and grew many times their normal size. A little Koopa suddenly took up the whole screen and could stomp on Yoshi. Baby Bowser grew larger than the castle.

[Vehrec]

They do seem to be fireproof and explosion-proof, though.... not to mention raccoon-tail-proof, Tanuki-statue-proof, and even hammer-proof.

Hammer-proof, you're right. Not even the Death Star was hammer-proof!

Ok, so it's fairly clear that Bowser would walk all over Saruman (perhaps even literally). So who would be a relatively even match for him given a middle ages type setting?

Aside from Mario himself.

Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom? Neither has an airforce, but their anti-air ability is nothing to sneaze at. Also they have big armies. Also, any attempt by Bowser to kidnap Princess Azula would be doomed from the start. Hail Azula!

[Lord Relvenous]

Hail Azula.

Yeah, a few hours back I was thinking Fire Nation but decided not to post it. However, I think Bowser has enough "wonders of technology" and troops to overwhelm a large group of benders, which is all that he would have to fear.