The Floating Pagoda
The Prime Minister poses with an anonymous bystander.
The visit to San Dorado was as great as ever. Sidney Hank had been an hero and had so graciously regaled the Prime Minister with his exploits - the desolate savanna, the compound fractures and the bruises, how he and President Stephen had to hold their bowels for fear of having their excrement detected by rogue Coilerburgers on the hunt, the scent of cordite and the bowel-clenching fear and...
The Prime Minister took a lot of pictures on his way to the repurposed aircraft carrier restaurant and once out of the public eye and in pleasant neon-lit company, ditched his stuffy suit and went for a Hawaiian appropriate for the San Doradan weather.
"This is a totally awesome way to start the year, won't you say? You went Shroombo and blew like dozens of crappy Coilerburgers away and now you're not just the President of San Dorado - you're now El Grande Presidente of the North Frequesuean Trust!" Shroom said to Sidney with a mouthful of noodles. "It's outstanding! Congratulations! Hey, is that real dog?"
"Nah, it's not real dog" Sidney eyed the dog-shaped dish oddly, knowing how the chef skillfully sculpted the tofu and non-meats into the likeness of cooked canine but feeling revulsion at the sight nonetheless. "But it certainly looks like real dog."
"Cool. I'm gonna have some then," Shroom dug his chopsticks into the "dog"s eyesockets.
"But yes, this is an excellent way to start the year. The year of the 'HUEG KITTEN' no less," Sidney pointed at the various 'HUEG KITTEN' motifs decorating the wax statues of the Huang Di and his Vizier and his Court Physician (who also knew kung fu). "It's totally gonna be a big year for San Dorado, for Coilerburg, for the whole continent as a whole too. I can't wait till they start serving the sake!"
"Let's take the alcohol slow. Heraclius probably still has to lay down the serious business," Shroom mentioned as he finally fished the "dog"s brains out of its nostrils. Sidney eyed him oddly. "I learned that in nursing school, watched the doctor extract part of a patient's brain from his face!"
"Right, we'd probably want to discuss the serious business before everyone gets drunk," Hank went on as he downed the Tian Xian sushi with some jasmine tea. "So no one'll accidentally outlaw Velaria forever and commence bombing in five minutes."
"Eh, we won't have to worry about that." Shroom said innocently. "Stanislav's retired in his dacha, after all."
"Hah!" Sidney laughed. "So, this serious business, what about it? We're agreeable to a CATO base in Coilerburg, in return for the lifting of any and all trade tariffs on Frequesuean goods to the CATO countries and access to the radar feeds of any grid you might set up on that base in the future. I hope that's an acceptable agreement."
"That is muy excellente, El Grande Amigo Presidente!" Shroom laughed, as though the sake was already being served, which it wasn't - yet. "My kameraden, Mike MacMillan over there," Shroom pointed to the Robert Downey Jr. lookalike. "Was also thinking of building a zeppelin and stratellite factory over at Coilerburg, as part of the foreign investment plan. And some monorails and trains too."
"Coilerburg needs all the help it can get," Hank agreed. "Hell, they could probably have you come up with a better name than 'Navapolis' for them."
"Yeah, I'll totally make 'em something nice," Shroom grinned evilly, and then looked to the side as he saw something and got up to wave at the something. "Hey, Heraclius just got out of the loo and now he's coming here!"
"Heh," Sidney chortled. Then he remembered, rather fondly, how he and the Shroomanian Prime Minister had the Worldwide One's Spitting Image show portrayed the Byzantine leader - as an urbane bling-blinging gangbanger out to shoot people in the face. With a shotgun. Sidney just couldn't help but whisper: "Does Heraclius have to choke a bitch?"
"So," Heraclius arrived grandly. "I hope my friend Shroom has stayed largely alcohol-free for the night."
"Yeah, he has," Sidney affirmed. "Decius' drank all the alcohol before they got offered to Shroom. Look at him now, all he needs is Melchett and they'll both be wearing those bosoms of theirs."
"Hey, what's all that commotion about?" Shroom asked, pointing rudely at two people whose discussions they overheard.
"The likeness of the Huang Di is a registered trademark in almost every country of the world. So, he's suing you."
"Yeah, well the Huang Di's public use in San Dorado!"
"Just like a toilet!" someone piped in.
Hearing this, Shroom
laughed.
"HA-HAA-HAAA!"