Making Sullust to Endor Video

[Aratech]

Here is some of their "justification" for the Coruscant-to-Geonosis trip taking a long time: it takes a while to organize the whole arena spectacle--call all the VIPs so they can clear their schedule, arrange to get the animals on loan from the local zoo, advertise, sell tickets, get food for the concession stands, and of course HOURS to actually get everyone into their seats in the stadium.

Or alternately, as Geonosians like their arena spectacles, and probably have them regular, all Dooku had to do was say 'right let's break for lunch. I've arranged a treat.'

You're closer than you think, Necron. The Ultimate Alien Anthology confirms that gladiatorial arena battles are the norm for Geos. All captured prisoners are executed in this manner, and they even have a caste of warriors who eke out a living fighting in them.

[NecronLord]

I'm pretty sure Lucas says as much in the commentry. It's clearly based on Ancient Roman gladiatorial combat and arena excecution anyway. After all, why would they have those big pillars with the handcuffs on them if that arena wasn't regularly used for excecutions?

[Ted C]

Ackbar: All of you shut the Hell up. Don't make me turn this fleet around!

The crew of one of the capital ships all sing "99 Bottles of Beer" (or 999) the entire way through.

I am Palpatine the Eighth I am. Palpatine the Eighth I am, I am.
I got married to the widow next door; she's been married seven times before, and
Every one of them was a Palpatine (Palpatine), never was a Willy or a Sam
I'm the Eighth I am, I'm Palpatine; Palpatine the Eighth I am.

2438th verse -- same as the first --

I am Palpatine the Eighth, I am...

[Ted C]

Well, it's a long road trip kind of setup, right? You could have red squadron singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall (or whatever they drink), or playing 'I spy' while Ackbar gradually goes nuts.

I spy with my little eye something that begins with C.

Cruiser

I spy with my little eye something that begins with A.

Another cruiser

I spy with my little eye something that begins with Y.

Yet another cruiser... will you shut up or do I have to blast you?

[Ted C]

Tollbooth scene for the rebels, a la Blazing Saddles.

"Somebody's got to go back to Sullust and get a shitload of dimes!"

[Darth Servo]

Oh, the prequels will be a sequel video. I can't wait to do the scene where Anakin is toasting on Mustifar for weeks on end, waiting for the Emperor to arrive.

Maybe toasting marshmallows with his remaining robotic arm?

[lord Martiya]

I have another crazy idea: an highway in the bunker.

[Darth Servo]

Also, I support Monolith Burger. Rouge squadron pitstop!

The Monolith Burger theme music (both SQ3 and SQ4 versions as well as the rest of the SQ soundtracks) can be downloaded here.

[Yuri2356]

For Anakin on Mustifar, he could start filling out his insurance forms.

[Lord Insanity]

Randomly cut to charred Anakin in the middle of signing: "Fever, all through the night. You give me fee-eever!"

For fighter pilots on their way to Endor.
Grey 6: "Why the did we get in the fighters if it takes this long. Shouldn't we have gotten in formation a lot closer?"
Grey Leader: "Cut the chatter gray 6."
Grey 3: "This sucks."

[Wyrm]

Lost tribe of primitives in the bunker. They were stormtroopers and officers, but they were cut off from support and reverted to tribalism.

[Wyrm]

Wedge: "Lock standby trousers in attack position."

[consequences]

"This looks like a job for Emergency Pants!"

[Cyborg Stan]

Obi-Wan going back and forth after his 'you were like a brother to me speech', complaining for hours on end on how Anakin was a terrible roommate and bringing up minor incidents from years ago.

An overhead map of the bunker, sans cieling, revealing a maze. A bunch of glowing pellets litter the floor, and a bunch of stormtroopers follow the commandos around while beeping noises go off in the background.

A Pilot trying to stretch, only to bump his arms and legs into controls, causing an accident that just dominoes from there.

One of the large Rebel cruisers rolls down a giant white screen in the middle of hyperspace, and somehow starts playing a really awful 'in-flight' movie while the fighter pilots groan.

Possible Star Trek tie in - the Rebel commandoes forget their mission and live with the Ewoks, picking up names like 'Hanok' and marrying Ewoks.

Anakin watches as a bunch of 'finders' wade around waist-deep in molten lava carrying TVs or sixpacks and whatnot.

A National Geographic (Or maybe Galatic Geographic?) film crew touches down and starts making a documentary while Anakin coughs in the background while asking 'A little help here?' More points if the narrator starts talking about the hazards of molten lava while the cameraman films a rather pissed off Anakin.

[Qwerty 42]

Vader and Luke making small talk in front of the emperor a la the two stormtroopers in ANH "So, have you seen the new TX-13?"

LMAO, yes.

Also, maybe consider flight delays leaving the platform on Endor?

Something along the lines of Luke and Vader reading magazines in the flight chairs while the intercom, in that typical airline captain voice, says "Uh, we're looking to depart in about another half hour or so. We apologize for any inconvenience, thank you for choosing Imperial air."

[Qwerty 42]

Here is some of their "justification" for the Coruscant-to-Geonosis trip taking a long time: it takes a while to organize the whole arena spectacle--call all the VIPs so they can clear their schedule, arrange to get the animals on loan from the local zoo, advertise, sell tickets, get food for the concession stands, and of course HOURS to actually get everyone into their seats in the stadium.

haha, or maybe Prince playing the halftime show or something?

[Alien-Carrot]

Vader taking a 2 hour break in his hyperbolic chamber.

Han and Leia get married, have kids, have grandkids who look exactly like them, grandkids are the ones who actually blow up the shield.

Ewoks evolve into 12 foot wookies and Wicket single handedly destroys the stormtroopers.

Emperor dies of old age, resurrect into young clone, ages again.

Ackbar spends 8 hours trying to find Endor on a radar, only to realize hes been looking at a Mr. Coffee instead of a Mr. Radar. (thank you spaceballs)

[Lord Poe]

=snip=

Cyborg Stan?? Where the hell have you been?

Anyway, great ideas, all.

[Yuri2356]

A National Geographic (Or maybe Galatic Geographic?) film crew touches down and starts making a documentary while Anakin coughs in the background while asking 'A little help here?' More points if the narrator starts talking about the hazards of molten lava while the cameraman films a rather pissed off Anakin.

Better yet, Steve Irwin.


"G'day. Today, we're here on the wild, flaming world of Mustafar where, despite the toxic air and the flesh-searing heat, all manner of beautiful wildlife has managed to flourish. Now, if you come right over here we'll see a little guy who's a long way from home. This here human - looks to be about 20-odd years old - has got himself in a bit of a jam. Usually, these things can be right firce, but as you can prob'ly hear already 'es in a lot of pain so he won't be able to put up much of a struggle. Let's go in a bit closer, and I'll show you the jaws on this beast..."

[Cyborg Stan]

Cyborg Stan?? Where the hell have you been?

Why do people always ask me that...? In any case, I've been here, just lurking. I suppose on top of that, I haven't found too much of interest in SW or ST lately. (Even with my own minor project)

Other ideas -

Rebel pilots teaching themselves the banjo.

Teaching selves how to sing (already mentioned, although with bad singing you can probably easily excuse bad voice acting and requires no 'props' other than the person himself)

Rebel Pilots whittling away the time by playing the classic game... Tie Fighter.

Han and Leia riding on a horse on one of Endor's rare beaches and spies a partially submerged statue. Starts screaming and cursing. (Okay, this seems to make alot more sense before I started typing.)

(Anakin one) - an excited, pale creature falls down from the middle of nowhere into the lava, with a bright gold ring on a chain is clutched in it's hand. (Obviously works better interspersed with other clips.)

Rebel pilots watch videos - possibilities - Gone with the Wind, Full Lord of the Rings Trilogy, ST Voyager Marathon, home video of paint drying

(Another Anakin one) - A bunch of little girls holding hands in a ring around Anakin, jumping in a circle excitedly. They sing 'Ring a round a rosy'.

[Darth Servo]

Anakin watches as a bunch of 'finders' wade around waist-deep in molten lava carrying TVs or sixpacks and whatnot.

Maybe have the Underpants Gnomes pay Anakin a visit?

[Cyborg Stan]

That could work.

Also, maybe have a toddler or a bunch of kids 'bury' Anakin in ash, make ash castles around him with bright neon colored toys.

Or maybe have Anakin watch TV. Soap Operas or Infomericals would do, although what would be somewhat nasty would be watching a report the News - first a report on Global Warming, followed by weather - high heat and humidity again today, along with the advice to wear sunscreen and drink plenty of fluids before heavy excersize.

[Crossroads Inc.]

"This looks like a job for Emergency Pants!"

I and the cats of Sluggy love you for that quote.

[Cyborg Stan]

Say... what's the time period between Amidala giving birth and dying? Because we can make up a bunch of crazy shit up too if it's right, all short things with breaks in between.

Start off -

Luke and Leia are born... then a triplet?

Then... quintuplets?

Another set of quintuplets?

Amidala naming them stuff like Jimmy-Joe Bob, Luke the 23rd, etc etc.

Amidala looking through a book of baby names, using all of them alphabetically.

Obi-Wan yelling "Just how big IS this thing!?" and getting really freaked out when it echoes back.

A tired Obi-Wan saying "What is this, ten thousand now?" With Yoda going "12,304". You're actually keeping count?

Amidala looking through a phone book. Dom, Domenia, Dominic, Domino's Pizza...

A 'WOOSH' sound, and a very confused team of four people in US military outfits step out.

A droid yells out... '1 millionth... is a boy!' and an disappointed Obi-Wan pays some money to a gloating Yoda.

A voice calling out 'Meesa free! Hoo-ra" while Yoda and Obi-Wan sprint up and throw it back where it came from.

Obi-Wan saying "Ah, that's where my keys were. Thanks."

An gravelly woman's voice saying "Captain's Log, Stardate 11235.343 : We have escaped using the crack in the event horizon, but find ourselves in yet another strange unfamilar place" while a miniature Voyager zips about the room.

Amidala yelling out 'A truck!', giving Obi-Wan just enough time to go 'What?' before being completely splattered.

A marching band dressed as Canadian Mounties march out, playing the Canadian national anthem. An enraged Yoda finally yells out "Too long this joke is!" and sabers Amidala to death. The entire crowd looks on in shock while Yoda sheepishly goes "Err.. lost her will to live yes? Ha.. ha ha..." Screen fades to black and the Canadian national anthem continues as the credits roll.

[Darth Servo]

Say... what's the time period between Amidala giving birth and dying? Because we can make up a bunch of crazy shit up too if it's right, all short things with breaks in between.

Unfortunately Palpatine had rescued Anakin by that time, so it doesn't help with mocking trektard's idiotic arguments that hyperspace trips take weeks.