Armageddon???? - Part Eighty One Up

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2008-06-09 12:54am

Out of curiousity, on what criteria does Yahweh let people into heaven. I know that homoseuxals are damned here, but is it to the point in which someone has to follow all Six hundred and thirteen Jewish Laws or are there some steadfast rules and some case by case things?

And another question, will this war see the Yanks and the Ruskies go up against the most prevelent creature in the mythologies of man, Dragons?

Zor

Edit 613, not 630

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-06-09 12:58am

Zor wrote:Out of curiousity, on what criteria does Yahweh let people into heaven. I know that homoseuxals are damned here, but is it to the point in which someone has to follow all Six hundred and thirty Jewish Laws or are there some steadfast rules and some case by case things?

Zor

Judging by his characteristics in this story, I'd guess he must have some way of determining whether this person is sufficiently fearful and obedient to praise him for centuries on end without question or protest.

I would expect all of the people in Heaven to be rather sheeplike. Richard the LionHeart, for example, despite being a grand Crusader and devout Christian, probably ended up in Hell. That kind of leader is not likely to play the role of mindless fearful sheep for long. When I said earlier that Crusaders were likely to end up Heaven, I was thinking more of the rank and file, especially the fanatics who went to gladly sacrifice their lives for Christ rather than going in hopes of returning home as revered heroes.

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2008-06-09 03:18am

Darth Wong wrote:You could describe George W. Bush that way. It doesn't mean he's not devout.

What I meant is that many of the Crusaders weren't there solely because of blind devotion and unending love of Jesus Christ, but rather that there were other factors involved. Said factors would render them ineligible for entry to Heaven, as would certain personality traits. Basically all the officers, knights, nobility, and mercenaries are in hell, as would a good chunk of the soldiery. Probably only the dumb ignorant peasants, and a lot of the priests, made the cut.

Peptuck · Post by **Peptuck** » 2008-06-09 03:27am

Zor wrote: And another question, will this war see the Yanks and the Ruskies go up against the most prevelent creature in the mythologies of man, Dragons?

Wyverns.

Starglider · Post by **Starglider** » 2008-06-09 04:11am

Zor wrote:And another question, will this war see the Yanks and the Ruskies go up against the most prevelent creature in the mythologies of man, Dragons?

There is no sane reason to give a large flying creature four legs. It's a huge mass and drag penalty for essentially no benefit, plus it's extremely hard to design a plausible skeletal and muscular arrangement for it (even worse than for flying humanoids, which are already tricky).

That said it occured to me that a sterile hydra/wyvern crossbreed (we saw a hydra guarding the gates to Tartarus) would make a good prestige mount for Satan. It would look like a multi-headed dragon but of course the wings would be decorative and the poor thing wouldn't be able to move very fast. I could see Euryale breeding something like that so that Belial could give it as tribute somewhere along his long fawning trail back into a sembelence of favour.

Stuart · Post by **Stuart** » 2008-06-09 09:08am

Zor wrote:Out of curiousity, on what criteria does Yahweh let people into heaven. I know that homoseuxals are damned here, but is it to the point in which someone has to follow all Six hundred and thirty Jewish Laws or are there some steadfast rules and some case by case things?

Primary qualification is mindless, blind, unthinking, uncritical acceptance of everything Yahweh says and does. If you're talking to somebody who thinks the ultimate answer to any question is to tap a Bible and say "Its all in here", you're looking at a prime candidate.

We'll be looking at heaven in more detail in the second volume of this story

The Salvation War: Pantheocide

Wherein the human race finds out that killing gods isn't just easy, its FUN

JN1 · Post by **JN1** » 2008-06-09 09:37am

Quite a small number then.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-06-09 09:47am

JN1 wrote:Quite a small number then.

Not that small; there are a lot of mindless people out there.

Stuart · Post by **Stuart** » 2008-06-09 11:20am

JN1 wrote:Quite a small number then.

Today, probably, that's what kicked the whole thing off. But, go back a few centuries (a mere nothing the way the demons see time) and its a pretty substantial proportion of the population. It's not so many years ago that "The Bible says so" was a knock-down argument.

After all, take the first four lines of the Lord's Prayer

"Our Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done"

That last line is a pretty sweeping invitation isn't it. It's very close to another quotation.

"Do what thou wilt be the whole of the law."

There's a PhD thesis there for somebody - only it'll get the author excommunicated.

JN1 · Post by **JN1** » 2008-06-09 12:04pm

I was foolishly thinking in modern terms.

Slightly O/T but I saw Dogma last night so from now on I'll imagine the Allmighty as Alanis Morissette rather than a power-mad sociopath.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-06-09 12:24pm

JN1 wrote:I was foolishly thinking in modern terms.

Even in modern times, look at Saudi Arabia. No shortage of sheep, heads bobbing up and down mindlessly reciting passages and chanting praise.

JN1 · Post by **JN1** » 2008-06-09 01:33pm

Darth Wong wrote:
JN1 wrote:I was foolishly thinking in modern terms.
Even in modern times, look at Saudi Arabia. No shortage of sheep, heads bobbing up and down mindlessly reciting passages and chanting praise.

Very well I was foolishly thinking in a narrow, post-Enlightenment, Western fashion. Not sure I'd describe Saudi as 'modern'.
No doubt I've missed something else out.

Peptuck · Post by **Peptuck** » 2008-06-10 03:49am

Darth Wong wrote:
JN1 wrote:I was foolishly thinking in modern terms.
Even in modern times, look at Saudi Arabia. No shortage of sheep, heads bobbing up and down mindlessly reciting passages and chanting praise.

Of course, all those folks got shuffled off to Hell for their faith. I know its been asked before, but I wonder how those sorts will react if/when they get fished out of Hell by the "unfaithful" who decided Yaweh needed a swift set of steel toes in the divine ballsack.

JBG · Post by **JBG** » 2008-06-10 04:48am

JN1 wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
JN1 wrote:I was foolishly thinking in modern terms.
Even in modern times, look at Saudi Arabia. No shortage of sheep, heads bobbing up and down mindlessly reciting passages and chanting praise.
Very well I was foolishly thinking in a narrow, post-Enlightenment, Western fashion. Not sure I'd describe Saudi as 'modern'.
No doubt I've missed something else out.

That is how Madrassas teach minors. Rote learning with much bobbing of heads. Happens all over the muslim world.

Jonathan

Edward Yee · Post by **Edward Yee** » 2008-06-10 03:47pm

Mayabird wrote:Alright, fess up. Who listed this story on TV Tropes? Because whoever you are, you left out a link.

I confess to the first half of it, but not the two lines about Russian artillery -- someone else added that after.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-06-11 02:15pm

Starting ... to ... get ... the ... shakes ...

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2008-06-11 02:19pm

Darth Wong wrote:Starting ... to ... get ... the ... shakes ...

It's at times like this, Mike, that I remember you're just a really big nerd.

*Grins*

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2008-06-11 02:23pm

Stuart wrote:After all, take the first four lines of the Lord's Prayer

"Our Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done"

That last line is a pretty sweeping invitation isn't it. It's very close to another quotation.

"Do what thou wilt be the whole of the law."

There's a PhD thesis there for somebody - only it'll get the author excommunicated.

It would totally be worth linking Alistair Crowley with the Lord's Prayer just to see choice heads explode at the mere suggestion.

Peptuck · Post by **Peptuck** » 2008-06-11 03:36pm

Edward Yee wrote:
Mayabird wrote:Alright, fess up. Who listed this story on TV Tropes? Because whoever you are, you left out a link.
I confess to the first half of it, but not the two lines about Russian artillery -- someone else added that after.

T'was me.

I also added a couple of the entries on its segment in the Crowning Moments of Awesome.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-06-11 03:46pm

Peptuck wrote:
Edward Yee wrote:
Mayabird wrote:Alright, fess up. Who listed this story on TV Tropes? Because whoever you are, you left out a link.
I confess to the first half of it, but not the two lines about Russian artillery -- someone else added that after.
T'was me.

I also added a couple of the entries on its segment in the Crowning Moments of Awesome.

You may want to check your links and add post-numbers, telling someone chapter 52 in the cleaned-up fanfic won't really help, since there aren't chapter numbers.

Edward Yee · Post by **Edward Yee** » 2008-06-11 04:55pm

And added (hidden by the spoiler tag) a bit on Detroit to the "Sodom and Gomorrah Mk II" part of that entry.

Zed Snardbody · Post by **Zed Snardbody** » 2008-06-11 07:28pm

I found these somewhere a while ago. I'm not quite sure where, I've just tweaked the color values.

Stuart · Post by **Stuart** » 2008-06-11 10:15pm

Zed Snardbody wrote:I found these somewhere a while ago. I'm not quite sure where, I've just tweaked the color values.

Wow. Just in time, too.........

Zed Snardbody · Post by **Zed Snardbody** » 2008-06-11 10:35pm

Phantasee · Post by **Phantasee** » 2008-06-11 10:47pm

I think the reds in the Super Hornet are a touch too bright, Zed.