Time traveling Hitler RAR

[Purple]

Here is an interesting one for you all.

One evening you go to bed feeling tired and quickly fall asleep. You do not remember your dreams but something about them feels very wrong. When you wake up the next morning you do so in a strange room that you have newer been in before. A room that whilst unfamiliar feels so very much like home. You stand up and go to the bathroom, knowing instinctively where it is and go to brush your teeth. As you do you stare into the mirror and discover, to your horror that the person staring back is Adolf Hitler. It is at this point that you hear the voice of ROB (random omnipotent being). ROB explains your situation as thus:

You have been returned to Germany, Juli the 1st 1940. Your mind has been placed in the body of Adolf Hitler. You will remain in this body until the moment it dies at which point you will be transported back to the moment you were taken from and your old one. Upon your return you will retain full memories of your stay here. And if you make any changes you will retain full memories of both the old and new timelines. And yes, you can make changes. Most notably ROB proposes for you an interesting task.
Any changes you make in the timeline will stick and be applied when you return home but only if Nazi Germany wins the war and you survive as its dictator up until your natural death. Should you fail at this task either by meeting a violent end, loosing power or having Nazi Germany lose and be destroyed you will simply be returned to your old body with any changes you made being discarded. Also if you completely dismantle the Nazi system and implement some sort of democracy or something that goes against the spirit of it that also counts as a loss. So if you want to reform things you at least have to keep up a shell of the old system. Kind of like how the Roman Empire kept a shell of the republic around.

Finally to help you in your task ROB lets you borrow Hitlers talent for oratory and public relations for the duration of your stay.

[bilateralrope]

Extending how long Nazi Germany exists is not an option as far as I'm concerned. I can't see any way where that would not be worse for the world. That is assuming that a victory is even possible under my leadership, an assumption I doubt. So I'm left with three options:
- Pistol + bullet to eject from this scenario ASAP.
- Find some way to enjoy myself knowing that there will be no consequences after the reset. Though there will be consequences before it. I can't think of anything offhand that woul be worth it.
- Memorize information that I know will be useful once I get out of this scenario. I've got no clue what to go for.

[Purple]

Extending how long Nazi Germany exists is not an option as far as I'm concerned. I can't see any way where that would not be worse for the world.

Perhaps I was unclear. Note that as per the scenario you can soften the situation, avoid the whole death camps thing, not go to war with the Soviet Union at all and do all sorts of things that would make history better. You only have to perpetuate the Nazi state to the extent of it remaining some form of dictatorship with Nazi trappings and you in charge until your natural death. Any other changes you want to try and implement are yours to try. Hell, you could even try and figure out a solution for the jews that does not include killing them all. Just as long as you manage to market it to the German people of the time.

[Raw Shark]

Avoiding the whole death camp thing and not going to war with the Soviet Union at all sounds like a great start to me. I'll round up all the Jews and Gays and whatnot and put them on an island somewhere, with a little, "Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, just stay here for a few years where it's safe, this will all blow over," while playing up the, "We should just put them all on an island somewhere and be rid of them!" aspect to the public. Then I throw all the resources that went into death camps, searching for the spear of Longinus, fighting the Soviets, and other batshit crazy bullshit in OTL into researching rocketry and the atomic bomb, for the best chance of making the changes stick. Other than the relatively-insignificant budget allocations that enable perpetual Oktoberfest with live music and pig-tailed whores in my personal bunker, of course.

[The Vortex Empire]

If you don't invade the Soviet Union, the Soviet Union will invade you in 1942 or so with a modernized army. Germany lacks enough industry to win the war and it's too late to do anything about that. It's a no-win scenario, so I attempt to purge the Nazis, convert Germany into a communist state, and fall under Soviet influence in an attempt to not die.

[Borgholio]

If you don't invade the Soviet Union, the Soviet Union will invade you in 1942 or so with a modernized army. Germany lacks enough industry to win the war and it's too late to do anything about that. It's a no-win scenario, so I attempt to purge the Nazis, convert Germany into a communist state, and fall under Soviet influence in an attempt to not die.

If Germany did not go to war vs the United States and sued for piece with Britain, they would be better able to withstand a Soviet attack. I personally would do what I could to deal with the Jewish "problem" without killing or deporting them. Perhaps setting up a Jewish state somewhere in Europe...

I also would not expand any further than mainland Europe and stop pissing the rest of the world off.

[Elheru Aran]

By 1940, it's probably too late to avoid the death camps entirely, but you can at least close those that have been built already.

Let's see, July 1940...

--Poland has been invaded and partitioned with the Soviet Union.
--The Soviets in their turn have attacked Finland.
--Norway has been invaded and taken by the Germans.
--France has *just* been taken. The Vichy government has just been established. Belgium and the Netherlands have been knocked off as well.
--Germany is still more or less at peace with the Soviet Union.
--The British are expecting an invasion and preparing for the worst. The Battle of Britain hasn't started yet, though.
--The Americans are definitely still very neutral at this point. Lend-Lease has not been initiated as far as I know.

Essentially this is the situation that the Germans face:
--They have just defeated the Allies in Western Europe.
--They are at peace on their eastern frontier, but a fight with the Soviets is almost inevitable given Russian expansionism.
--They may be obligated to support Italy in its upcoming assault upon Greece and North Africa.

So the ideal thing to do is probably to tell the Italians to fuck off and deal with their own problems, tell the various defeated countries they can have their independence back (perhaps with concessions), withdraw your forces and quietly reinforce the eastern frontier with an eye towards strengthening your strategic position. Securing oil supplies could become a priority, so perhaps an action in the Middle East or Libya. Start playing up the "Communists bad, German/Europe good" card with all your might, and play nicely with the countries whose asses you just kicked. Try to push all that fanatical German organizational energy into improving and strengthening your industrial base.

[Lord Revan]

we should also remember that in 1940 Hitler's grip on power was not absolute, the industialists and old guard of the military who supported him might not look favorbly on anything that might seem socialist actions from Hitler and the military might not like trying to gain favor from the occupied countries.

[Joun_Lord]

Start playing up the "Communists bad, German/Europe good" card with all your might, and play nicely with the countries whose asses you just kicked.

This is what I'd probably do, set myself up as the "hero" of the Western world by going against Communism. Try to make peace with the Brits and Yanks. Maybe have my people "find" some evidence of French and other countries I've invaded secret involvement with the Commies, try to make it seem like I invaded them for the good of the continent. I don't know if that would work but I'd atleast look into the feasibility of it. Making peace with the Allies would allow me to worry considerably less about my Western flank. The Americans would probably welcome not having to fuck about in Europe and save it, plus if I remember correctly there was considerable support of Germany in America before the outbreak of hostilities, and the Limeys would probably breath a sigh of relief knowing a German horde ain't crossing the channel.

If Italy decides to do their own thang I'd probably leave them out in the cold or even, if it ain't going to bite me in the ass, try to assist Allied operations in Africa and elsewhere. Helping defeat Mussolini might score me some points with the Allies. If it is unlikely to make me more popular with the Allies I'd probably just leave both groups to their own devices but wouldn't interfere unless the Allies make a move on me.

I'd close down any concentration camps and maybe if I can swing it make a public apology for them, say I was wrong, blah blah, try to shift blame for my mistake on some underling and convince the nation the real menace is not the Jews but the Communists. Hopefully the threat of the Commie scum will be enough to keep the military and others from revolting against me when I withdraw from atleast some occupied countries, though I might leave behind a small "peace keeping" force if I can manage it to help allow the peaceful transition from German rule to go without too many problems (and to make sure German friendly people get in power).

If I can I'd allow Jews to remain German citizens which should give us atleast more manpower and if not I'd just deport them. Still fucked up but better for them to be alive in another country then dead in Germany, I doubt any Jew is that patriotic as to think thats a better alternative.

It goes without saying I'd also avoid killing the usually forgotten other 6 million people my mustached ass would normally kill aswell.

Definitely pour money into developing nukes and jet engine bombers to carry them.

I doubt I could win a conventional war against the USSR so having nukes would give me an advantage. I'd definitely try to avoid using them, my preferred outcome, but hopefully if I have to use them it would be only limited and then maybe scare the Sovs enough that they stay away and we enter a sort of alternate reality Cold War. I'd probably eat my Walther having to nuke the fuck out of the Soviets, shit would be just way too fucked up, but I could probably handle a city or two just weighing them against all the lives that would be lost in an all out war with the Soviets.

If I live to 1955 I'm going to find a baby Steve Jobs and kick him in the nuts. That will be my reward for saving the world from the Red Menace.

[SpottedKitty]

By 1940, it's probably too late to avoid the death camps entirely, but you can at least close those that have been built already.

By 1940, it's probably too late to avoid a lot of thoroughly hideously nasty stuff that wouldn't actually happen in our timeline for a few more years. Waiting until WW2 starts might not be early enough — too many things are already in motion, not all of them dependent on anything Herr H. does. I can see a lot of things that might be tried, including the suggestions upthread, but I can't see any way to make them work, and make them stick, without fairly drastic changes to the starting conditions. Even bilateralrope's first suggestion might not be enough. Scenario as stated IMHO unwinnable.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Hmm. I think the most effective thing would be to close the death/concentration camps, act outraged in public, blame it on the SS and use this as an excuse to purge them completely and try to roll back the Nuremburg Laws. This is, I think, especially important as I doubt the SS fanatics would take kindly to me going soft on the Jews. Make sure that Heydrich, Eichmann, Mueller et al are the first in front of a firing squad.

Do not launch the Battle of Britain, cease hostilities against the British and begin trying to sue for peace (difficult with Churchill around, but worth a try).

Take a greater interest in R&D, make sure Heisenburg is on the right track for his reactor/nuke design (I know a good lot about them so I can at least help him avoid mistakes). Restructure the Wehrmacht to wage a defensive war against the Russians in Poland until the A-Bombs are ready to be used. Do not join Japan in declaring war on the US (in fact, try to talk the Japs out of their offensive).

[Ziggy Stardust]

If you don't invade the Soviet Union, the Soviet Union will invade you in 1942 or so with a modernized army.

Why? Since when did the Soviets have an intention of invading Germany? I've never heard this before.

[The Vortex Empire]

It's my understanding that the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was only signed by the USSR as a delaying action, to give them time to complete their military reforms, and to add buffer territory, after France and Britain rebuffed Stalin's efforts to make an anti-German alliance with them. Both sides knew that conflict was inevitable since their interests ran counter to each other, it was just a matter of when and who would start it.

[SpottedKitty]

Do not launch the Battle of Britain, cease hostilities against the British and begin trying to sue for peace (difficult with Churchill around, but worth a try).

Would this have even worked? Doubtful, IMHO; given the date, the Battle of Britain or something like it was almost inevitable at this point, and that would have knocked Operation Sealion on the head pretty thoroughly. Granted, Sealion probably wouldn't have worked anyway...

[bilateralrope]

What happens if the changes you make prevent your birth ?

[Purple]

What happens if the changes you make prevent your birth ?

You have no idea. But you know that he promised to return you to your time once you are done. So perhaps things work out for you, or perhaps you aren't born. But you figure that either way all paradoxes simply magically smooth them self out or something.

[Borgholio]

Do not launch the Battle of Britain, cease hostilities against the British and begin trying to sue for peace (difficult with Churchill around, but worth a try).

Would this have even worked? Doubtful, IMHO; given the date, the Battle of Britain or something like it was almost inevitable at this point, and that would have knocked Operation Sealion on the head pretty thoroughly. Granted, Sealion probably wouldn't have worked anyway...

Thing about the Battle of Britain is that the resolve of the British people was hardened by the terror bombing inflicted by the Germans. I would suspect that if the Germans fought a (mostly) defensive battle at that point, the British would eventually tire of the fight and be open to peace negotiations.

[Thanas]

It's my understanding that the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was only signed by the USSR as a delaying action, to give them time to complete their military reforms, and to add buffer territory, after France and Britain rebuffed Stalin's efforts to make an anti-German alliance with them. Both sides knew that conflict was inevitable since their interests ran counter to each other, it was just a matter of when and who would start it.

But Stalin had no interest in attacking Germany for as long as he could milk them for treasure and high-tech products.

[Elheru Aran]

It's my understanding that the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was only signed by the USSR as a delaying action, to give them time to complete their military reforms, and to add buffer territory, after France and Britain rebuffed Stalin's efforts to make an anti-German alliance with them. Both sides knew that conflict was inevitable since their interests ran counter to each other, it was just a matter of when and who would start it.

But Stalin had no interest in attacking Germany for as long as he could milk them for treasure and high-tech products.

^This, to some degree. Stalin was fairly laid back as far as the Germans went, and Russia needed some technical and financial assistance fairly badly at that point. Ideologically they had far too many differences for it to last (one reason the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was such a surprise to the Allies), but while it did, Stalin pretty much decided "OK, friendsies" to the point where he didn't believe Germany was attacking them in the Ukraine when Barbarossa started. The territorial ambitions of the USSR were similar to the Germans', though-- until the war caught up to them, they had started muscling some of the Eastern European countries. So conflict is pretty much inevitable, yeah. But as long as the Germans don't start anything, the Russians won't start anything... although a Cold War state of affairs could well start growing between the two.

As for the Battle of Britain: Far as I can tell, if there was any offense, there had only been some very light bombings by the Germans against the UK itself by July 1940. If the Germans immediately stopped this and offered some restitution (returning POW's captured during the French conquest, perhaps), that could do something towards swinging British popular opinion towards a truce. I don't know if the British had engaged in any bombing of German territories prior to this point.

Essentially July 1940 is a pretty good point of equilibrium between the Germans and the Allies-- the Germans have knocked back the Allies fairly well, the Allies aren't really in any position to strike back in significant force, but the Germans have pretty much reached the limit of their capabilities in the West. They can either try to continue their fight (Sealion, Battle of Britain, fight in Africa, etc) or do as they did historically and shift their focus East... or if you're trying to change history, you can switch it up, make nice, and change your focus from war to peace.

Frankly, peace is a good option. Germany has just fought the Allies to a standstill, it's doing well enough domestically, truces or treaties in its favour are possible if they do the benevolent-conqueror thing. "We just kicked your asses but we won't rub your faces in it *too* much". That kind of thing. The biggest question is whether internal factions in the German military and government would permit not-Hitler to make such a sweeping change in their overall strategy, and whether the aggrieved Allies would accept such an offer.

[Borgholio]

The biggest question is whether internal factions in the German military and government would permit not-Hitler to make such a sweeping change in their overall strategy, and whether the aggrieved Allies would accept such an offer.

There was a lot of resentment over the terms imposed by Versailles. Taking over France could be argued as payback for being wronged after WW1. The German military might be satisfied with that since they got their revenge, and the other Western powers including Britain might relax a bit once they see that Germany hasn't gone any farther than it said it would.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Do not launch the Battle of Britain, cease hostilities against the British and begin trying to sue for peace (difficult with Churchill around, but worth a try).

Would this have even worked? Doubtful, IMHO; given the date, the Battle of Britain or something like it was almost inevitable at this point, and that would have knocked Operation Sealion on the head pretty thoroughly. Granted, Sealion probably wouldn't have worked anyway...

This is why I did say "cease all hostilities against the British" or words to that effect. Basically, stop fighting them and stand on the defensive.

[SpottedKitty]

The biggest question is whether internal factions in the German military and government would permit not-Hitler to make such a sweeping change in their overall strategy,

<nod> That's my biggest doubt over whether any of this would work at all; it's why I was suggesting 1940, or even 1938 with the Anschluß, was too late for !H to make such major changes and get away with it. People with the power to do something might begin to whisper that the Führer was not quite himself... and whaddoyouknow, they'd be right!

[Eternal_Freedom]

That's why I plan to immediately purge the SS and if needs be, most of the Nazi top guys.

[The Romulan Republic]

My big problem with this scenario (aside from Purple's strange fixation with tyranny) is that it doesn't allow you to abolish the dictatorship outright, which, if we're going with altering history, is the only thing I'd be interested in doing.

But if we can purge the SS, that's a start.

My idea is to basically minimize the evil of the Nazi state as much as possible within the conditions of the OP while setting it up so that it will revert to a democracy upon alternate Hitler's death.

Also, end the war and put Von Braun to work building spaceships instead of V2s.

[bilateralrope]

What happens if the changes you make prevent your birth ?

You have no idea. But you know that he promised to return you to your time once you are done. So perhaps things work out for you, or perhaps you aren't born. But you figure that either way all paradoxes simply magically smooth them self out or something.

Fuck that. If the ROB hasn't explained what will happen if I prevent my own birth, I'm not risking it.