Cullenism. Seriously

[Mr. Coffee]

freedom is the right of all heavily armed beings

And on the seventh day God transformed and rolled out...

[lord Martiya]

What's sad is I thought this thread would be about a religion based on Optimus Prime.

And I wouldn't have found anything strange about that. After all, Optimus is a sort of messiah for the Autobots...

[Medic]

This is only surprising in the sense that, well, Americans (should ) realize these aren't real people, by virtue of the fact 1) they're actors and 2) it's a movie. Based on a book.

Not that that isn't sad enough but this isn't THAT surprising because the precedent of fantastic religions sprouting up overnight has already been set by the post-WWII "cargo cults" (that's your google query; Richard Dawkins mentioned it in TGD, too) of America's Pacific Island-hopping campaign. Give it literally one generation. Oh sure, this is just a start, but all religions had to start somewhere.

[Ritterin Sophia]

It's probably about as serious as people who refer to themselves as "Jedi" or "Haruhiists."

<second line goes here>

We might be in trouble then, I ran into a Chaplain's Assistant (Chaplain-In-Training) in the Army who had 'Jedi' on his tags.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Since Cullen is dirived from the Galic word for Dog, wouldn't it be a more appropreate name for werewolves than vamps?

[hongi]

How dare you bring your logic into hallowed subject of Our Lord and Saviour Edward Cullen?

[darthdavid]

So I wonder, do they prey by covering themselves in glitter and staring at sleeping teenage girls while contemplating how delicious they smell?

[CDiehl]

When you figure mainstream Christianity thinks Jesus was a pasty white dude that kept telling people to drink his blood it actually makes sense sorta.

There is more to Christianity than that. While it's true that there are lots of people who don't delve deeper into their religion than the superficial elements, all the major religions have something to them beyond that level. Cullenism doesn't appear to have anything going for but a facade. Seriously, what are its principles and beliefs beyond satisfying a childish desire to go through the motions of worshipping something?

[PeZook]

Torture your brain long enough and it would be trivial to provide "depth" of any kind you want.

[lord Martiya]

Seriously, what are its principles and beliefs beyond satisfying a childish desire to go through the motions of worshipping something?

Providing easy food to passing vampires? After all, if Dracula existed he'd thanks Meyer for sparing him all the hunt and the rest, like the vampire of this strip...

[Kanastrous]

So I wonder, do they prey by covering themselves in glitter vestments and staring at sleeping teenage girls boys while contemplating how delicious they smell look?

You're making it sound like a lift from Roman Catholicism.

Well, okay, actually I am.

[darthdavid]

So I wonder, do they prey by covering themselves in glitter vestments and staring at sleeping teenage girls boys while contemplating how delicious they smell look?

You're making it sound like a lift from Roman Catholicism.

Well, okay, actually I am.

Well pretty much all I know about the books comes from people mocking them and pointing out how/why they're terrible and boils down to:
1) Rather than bursting into flames Twilight vampires sparkle in the sun.
2) Like half the book is Edward watching Bella sleep without her knowing he's there and thinking about how delicious she smells. These are both portrayed as romantic (but then he also apparently eats a fetus out of her womb or something at some point and everyone's fine with this so yeah).
3) The 'good' vampires are a 'subtle' allegory Mormonism with the bad ones representing the Roman Catholic church (which makes this creepy cult extra funny; like someone reading Ayn Rand's collected works, gushing about how much they luuuuuurve Blathery McTalksFor70PagesStraight and then creating a socialist political party named after him).

[Shroom Man 777]

(but then he also apparently eats a fetus out of her womb or something at some point and everyone's fine with this so yeah).

What?

[CaptHawkeye]

Remember, the books are supposed to be "good" or something because they didn't leave things out.

[Shroom Man 777]

That really makes me interested in them though.

[Oni Koneko Damien]

(but then he also apparently eats a fetus out of her womb or something at some point and everyone's fine with this so yeah).

What?

Run a Google search on 'Vampire c-section'. It is honestly just as bad as it sounds.

[The Yosemite Bear]

or google "Breaking Dawn plot summary" or go through HEAD TRIP web commic's bits on Twilight.

[mr friendly guy]

What's sad is I thought this thread would be about a religion based on Optimus Prime.

Optimus Christ died for your sins, heathen.

Blasphemy. We all know optimus prime is Jewish

[Kanastrous]

Legend has it he was circumcised with a plasma torch...

[Solauren]

Legend has it he was circumcised with a plasma torch...

How the... wait, what, I mean.....

Who the hell is 'tough' enough to even attempt that on Optimus Prime!?!?!?

[Kanastrous]

Mohelus Maximus.

[General Zod]

Legend has it he was circumcised with a plasma torch...

How the... wait, what, I mean.....

Who the hell is 'tough' enough to even attempt that on Optimus Prime!?!?!?

Unicron.

[lord Martiya]

Chuck Norris.

[Kanastrous]

Using the fist hidden under his beard.

[General Zod]

I think it's pretty clear there's nothing left to discuss here.