As you may know, today at 1500, Prime Minister Paul Martin formally declared war on the United States.
Canadian soldiers from 32 Brigade, under the guise of a joint Canadian-US training exercise at Ft. Knox, Kentucky, have overpowerd the American garrison, achieving complete surprise.
Canadian 32 Brigade Reservists secure the perimiter around Ft. Knox, KY
Reservists from 31 Brigade and Regular Force soldiers form Quebec's 22e (more commonly known as the Vandoos) have crossed the border into New York, and have met with little resistance.
"The strategy is simple. We attack states with high gun control and general distaste for the military. The advantages the Americans would normally have are simply not present here." Explains LGen Guy Bourassa, who planned the operation.
"Not to mention the main body of the American Military is in Iraq. We've only been dealing with relatively poorly-trained National Guard at this point. We expect to hold Washington DC before the end of the week."
Nice joke, but we all know the blue states would cooperate with a Canadian invasion.
The Excellent Prismatic Spray. For when you absolutely, positively must kill a motherfucker. Accept no substitutions. Contact a magician of the later Aeons for details. Some conditions may apply.
Buffalo already gave up sovereignty and has become a part of Canada.
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Arise Ambrose Powell Hill to lead your light division northwards once more!
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
Captain Cyran wrote:Buffalo already gave up sovereignty and has become a part of Canada.
The regime change means we might get rid of the fuck-ups currently holding office and get some politicians with some financial sense, and I'll finally be able to use the twent-odd bucks in change I've got in my drawer..
Let Washington burn again, I say!
This has been another blunder by you friendly local idiot.
As the day draws to a close, the daring Canadian blitz slows.
"We're going to call it a night, so to speak," Said Capt. Joseph Chung, of the Toronto Scots. (32 Brigade) "We're right on Washington's doorstep, but we don't want to move too hastily. This has been too easy so far. Surely local reserve units have been deployed, so the lack of enemy activity is odd. Very suspicious."
Soldiers from the 48th Highlander regiment, 32 Brigade, man a checkpoint outside of Morganstown, West Virginia.
(Photo by MCpl Steven O'Hara, CF Combat Camera)
But the Canadians aren't the only ones moving cautiously. After a failed initial assault on Ft. Knox, it appears American forces are pulling back to assess the situation.
"It would appear the Canadians have commandeered, rather than destroyed the equipment in the base," explains Maj. Rick Johnson, 278th Armoured Cavalry, Tennessee National Guard. "We did not expect to be going up against M1A1s. The presence of advanced armour means that we have to change our tactics entirely."
Shit: I better make maximum distance between here and Toronto ASAP: I just know this is gonna end with a couple hundred Trident and Minuteman missiles landing in Canadian cities...
The M2HB: The Greatest Machinegun Ever Made.
HAB: Crew-Served Weapons Specialist
"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope." --P.J. O'Rourke
"A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." --J.S. Mill
From what I can tell, the situation on Okinawa has exploded...the Marine brigades have stormed the provincial goverment buildings and the US Embassy...and have declared Okinawa to be the "Free American Republic of Freemerica". There was rioting in the streets, but the airforce on Kadena firebombed Naha and put a stop to that...
I'm not sure what's next, they've been rounding up Canadian nationals and herding them into the bases. There's some pockets of resistance on the Japanese bases, but Kadena has achieved air supremacy....
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
I thought the moose hanged himself from the power lines...(cookie if anyone can post the pic)
Stanley Hauerwas wrote:[W]hy is it that no one is angry at the inequality of income in this country? I mean, the inequality of income is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Why isn’t that ever an issue of politics? Because you don’t live in a democracy. You live in a plutocracy. Money rules.
