The World as seen by Berman & Braga

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-01-12 07:21pm

What if someone made a show like that?

I have this image of some poor restaurant cashier dying a grisly, flaming death after his cash register exploded in his face because of an errant power surge.

And of a nuclear reactor... person thingy guy, using insane amounts of technobabble (well, there was a verteron surge in the triaxilating subspace coils, causing a covariant misalignment of the ODN junction...) to explain a simple problem, and it takes him so much time that the reactor explodes like a nuclear bomb.

Oh sure, it wouldn't get past the second show because by then the Earth would be destroyed, but it'd be hilarious.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-01-12 07:25pm

The B&B world would be a dieing rock by 1900

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-01-12 08:08pm

I can just imagine the tactics employed in WW2 if B&B wrote it:

"OK everyone, fix bayonets, forget armour or artillery or air support, and run screaming toward the enemy!"

"Look out, the Nazis are dropping their guns and pulling out knives. We're really screwed now!"

"Holy shit, that howitzer shell landed just three feet away. I think he's been knocked unconscious! Don't worry, he'll come around in about ten minutes."

Ackk, it's too horrible to contemplate any further.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-01-12 08:26pm

Ugh, imagine what B&B would do to cars in that situation.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-01-12 08:53pm

Darth Wong wrote:I can just imagine the tactics employed in WW2 if B&B wrote it:

"OK everyone, fix bayonets, forget armour or artillery or air support, and run screaming toward the enemy!"

"Look out, the Nazis are dropping their guns and pulling out knives. We're really screwed now!"

"Holy shit, that howitzer shell landed just three feet away. I think he's been knocked unconscious! Don't worry, he'll come around in about ten minutes."

Ackk, it's too horrible to contemplate any further.

You know full well that they don't use bayonets.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-01-12 08:53pm

Darth Wong wrote: "Look out, the Nazis are dropping their guns and pulling out knives. We're really screwed now!"

IIRC a similar thing happened in Voyager "Killing Game." A WWII and a Klingon program were together. Naturally, the Klingons came charging in, waving bat'leths. Did the Germans mow them down with MG-42 fire? No! They stood up and got hacked to pieces

Imagine Normandy:

Ship XOSir, the costal batteries are tearing up the fleet!
Ship Captain: Oh no!
Ship Sensor Officer (they exist right?): Wait sir, the guns have no shells! They're all being fed from a central building!
Captain: Destroy it!
Senor Officer: The armour's too thick!
XO: Maybe we can project an American radar signature on it!
Captain: Then the costal batteries will attack it! Make it so!

Imagine Vietnam:

Platoon Captain: Alright people, the chopper's coming in! It need's covering fire!

Imagine Desert Storm

Iraqi Officer: Oh no! The Americans are deploying Dune Buggies!
Sadam Hussein: We're doomed! Our T-72s with their 125mm guns are useless!

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-01-12 11:39pm

The cruise of the C.S.S. Alabama according to B&B;

Confederate crewman "Captain Semmes, there's a yankee brig off our port bow and they're staying sails and lowering their flag, what should we do?"

Raphael Semmes " They must be in distress, send the doctor and some supplies in a longboat to see what we can do."

Enlightenment · Post by **Enlightenment** » 2003-01-13 01:26am

Gulf War III, with Shrubby leading US forces from the front lines....

Wait. That'd be a good thing.

Dennis Toy · Post by **Dennis Toy** » 2003-01-13 01:35am

Remember that video of the explosion at the chemical plant in Henderson NV back in 1988 that i showed you all, here what it would look like under B&B.

SOmewhere in Henderson NV May 1988...

Plant Workers playing cards...
bet ya an ace for a
(Red alert klaxons, light dim)
Plant worker one: Theres a fire, the halon system is down, we can't get power to the sprinklers.
Plant worker two: I can stop the fire, i can rig up a phased suppresive suspension to stop that fire.
Plant Worker one: No time we gotta....
Plant Worker two: I have it just one more adjustment to the amplifid electro-copper system....
Plant Worker one: COME ON...
Plant Worker two: I CAN'T I gotts stop the fire......Its not working the main computer is down, i could just...

KAPPPOOOWWWWWW!!!

The PLANT EXPLODES IN A MINI-MUSHROOM CLOUD

(People up on the mountain)
Oooh thats gonna be loud.......
(KABBOOMM)

No one in the regulatory commission learns anything from it and chemical plants continue to explode in the US for the next 15 years.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-01-13 01:36am

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:
IIRC a similar thing happened in Voyager "Killing Game." A WWII and a Klingon program were together. Naturally, the Klingons came charging in, waving bat'leths. Did the Germans mow them down with MG-42 fire? No! They stood up and got hacked to pieces

WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-13 01:41am

Vympel wrote:
Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:
IIRC a similar thing happened in Voyager "Killing Game." A WWII and a Klingon program were together. Naturally, the Klingons came charging in, waving bat'leths. Did the Germans mow them down with MG-42 fire? No! They stood up and got hacked to pieces
WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

Unfortunately, no. Don't bother trying to watch it, it's just plain stupid.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-01-13 02:53am

In a Berman Braga world, the most common household appliances and mechanical devices would all have the potential to explode or cause its user to spontaneously combust at any time, would have user and service manuals five times thicker than they already are, would run off of live plasma conduits, and require a major repair effort simply to swap out any single part. Service techs would never be able to communicate in any language other than technospeak and take five minutes to outline the simplest problem.

Nobody would know how to actually fix anything. Instead, they'd have to concoct theories as to how the Mr. Coffee might function, the nature of each of the several dozen possible faults being considered which all would involve weird excursions into the more esoteric branches of quantum physics, and experiment to find the best way to correct the secondary filtration interface blockage.

And imagine how many coils, loops, and tertiary bypasses would be incorporated into the plumbing for the average household toilet —which itself would be computer controlled and plasma-operated.

In short, the car, the home, and even a construction-site Port o'Let, would all be fatal accidents just waiting to happen at any time.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-01-13 08:49pm

I know.

Wouldn't that be hilarious to film?

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2003-01-13 10:10pm

Just a little word of caution. B&B might be idiots, and most of Voyager might have been REALLY bad with Enterprise following in its foot steps, but don't let this become a Trek bashing thread.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-13 10:35pm

It's not a Trek-bashing thread. It's a B&B bashing thread. If the TOS creative team did a show about the real world, all the women would be young, hot, and in miniskirts, and everybody's auto mechanic would have a Scottish accent. And everone would wear vellour tunics with bellbottom pants. Okay, the last part would suck. But the first two would be cool.

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2003-01-13 10:45pm

B&B on December 7, 1941:

Aide: 'Mr. President! The Japanese have attacked Pearl Harbor and sank the Pacific Fleet!"

FDR: 'My God! Order the military to stand down at once. Contact the State Department and tell them to start negotiations with the Japanese Ambassador! Perhaps we can keep this unfortunate misunderstanding from becoming a war'

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-01-13 11:12pm

Imagine what would have happened in a B&B world with the Space Shuttle Challenger!

*challenger explodes onscreen in mission control*

(Flight Director: AACCKKK! how did that happen?

Chief Engineer: I believe that the explosion was caused by a random breach in the bulkheads in the fuel tanks, which let antimatter leak out and ignite the whole atmosphere...)

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-01-13 11:23pm

B&B, regarding Enterprise's premier.

Berman: I think fans are going to be really excited about this new show.

Braga: I know! The writing's great. The acting's great. The special effects are great. What could go wrong?

Berman: Nothing. That's why we deserve a raise.

Braga: Okay.

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-01-14 12:07am

B&B, regarding Enterprise's premier.

Berman: I think fans are going to be really excited about this new show.

Braga: I know! The writing's great. The acting's great. The special effects are great. What could go wrong?

Berman: Nothing. That's why we deserve a raise.

Braga: Okay.

Fucking idiots. They should ask themselves if Enterprise also upholds real science like Trek is supposed to. (yeah right!)

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-01-14 12:38am

jaeger115 wrote:Imagine what would have happened in a B&B world with the Space Shuttle Challenger!

*challenger explodes onscreen in mission control*

(Flight Director: AACCKKK! how did that happen?

Chief Engineer: I believe that the explosion was caused by a random breach in the bulkheads in the fuel tanks, which let antimatter leak out and ignite the whole atmosphere...)

All of mission controls computers would explode as well from the feed back through the radio system.

Post by **AdmiralKanos** » 2003-01-14 12:42am

In B&B Earth, there would have been a timeout during the Battle of Jutland so that each ship's captain could hold a conference meeting in a boardroom near the bridge, where he requests advice from his XO, a psychologist, his chief engineer, and a medical doctor.

EDIT: And the goddamned ship's cook, too.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-01-14 12:49am

On B&B we would have elongated explainations for every and anything...and smart toasters would probably be regarded as sentient.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-01-14 02:59am

Hey, Given that God is infinite, and Space is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea cake?

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-14 03:03am

Frank Hipper wrote:The cruise of the C.S.S. Alabama according to B&B;

Confederate crewman "Captain Semmes, there's a yankee brig off our port bow and they're staying sails and lowering their flag, what should we do?"

Raphael Semmes " They must be in distress, send the doctor and some supplies in a longboat to see what we can do."

Actually, something somewhat like this happened at Fort Sumter. The first shot fired was a training accident (crew forgot to check the cannon after live fire drills, retrained the gun and shot at the fort). The Confederates sent a delegation of officers, including a doctor, to apologize and make sure nobody was injured.

Soulman · Post by **Soulman** » 2003-01-14 04:37pm

jaeger115 wrote: Fucking idiots. They should ask themselves if Enterprise also upholds real science like Trek is supposed to. (yeah right!)

TOS wasn't about science, it was about telling stories...