Optimus Prime vs Satan

TithonusSyndrome · Post by **TithonusSyndrome** » 2008-04-07 11:44am

That inspirational picture meme about Optimus Christ being a better pick than Jesus made a silly thought waft through my head; would any incarnation of Prime be strong enough to defeat the Devil of Christian mythology in a direct physical confrontation, and if not, then could all the Autobots together manage it?

I am again operating on the assumption that Satan, like Yahweh, is the middleweight supernatural tormentor of a group of small desert nomads, not a cosmic being, and therefore the conflict would not be completely one-sided. The one area in which I have difficulty determining the victor is in establishing exactly what kind of powers Satan has to confront the Autobots with. We know he can possess human minds, but that will do little to stop Prime and co. We also know he is referred to as the "dragon" of the Book of Revelation, although it is probably unlikely to imagine him as a Smaug clone. Is there any better way of knowing if Satan has a Balrog-like earthly incarnation or other way of confronting the Autobots?

Koolaidkirby · Post by **Koolaidkirby** » 2008-04-07 02:49pm

Does Satan have any quantifiable powers mentioned? the only thing I can think of off the top of my head would be a shape shifting (although giant snake vs prime would be a pretty BA fight imho)

DocHorror · Post by **DocHorror** » 2008-04-07 03:33pm

'Satan must be stopped, no matter the cost' - For that alone I'd give it to Prime.

Trogdor · Post by **Trogdor** » 2008-04-07 04:08pm

Well, let's see here, according to biblical myth:

God>Satan

Iron Chariots>God

Optimus Prime=Iron Chariot (sorta)

Therefore:

Optimus Prime>Satan

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2008-04-07 04:58pm

It depends on what Satan transforms into.

fusion · Post by **fusion** » 2008-04-07 08:10pm

Trogdor wrote:Well, let's see here, according to biblical myth:

God>Satan

Iron Chariots>God

Optimus Prime=Iron Chariot (sorta)

Therefore:

Optimus Prime>Satan

As long as Prime has large amounts of metal in his body...

Otherwise look up the all favorite, Armageddon????.

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2008-04-07 09:30pm

A bizarre arugment could be made that Satan has the power of metal. As Transformers, and therefore Optimus Prime are heavy metal in more ways than one (see: Transformers movie theme, the original, not the shitty modern faux-rock shit), they thus owe a good deal of their existence to the Devil.

TithonusSyndrome · Post by **TithonusSyndrome** » 2008-04-08 09:49am

In the New Testament, Satan also whisks Jesus around from place to place, testing his faith with scenery or something. I guess this means he's a really speedy flier.

Trogdor · Post by **Trogdor** » 2008-04-08 01:18pm

TithonusSyndrome wrote:In the New Testament, Satan also whisks Jesus around from place to place, testing his faith with scenery or something. I guess this means he's a really speedy flier.

Either that or he just caused Jesus to start tripping balls and think he was being whisked from place to place. If that's the case, Prime's robotic brain would probably be immune.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2008-04-08 07:38pm

Trogdor wrote:
TithonusSyndrome wrote:In the New Testament, Satan also whisks Jesus around from place to place, testing his faith with scenery or something. I guess this means he's a really speedy flier.
Either that or he just caused Jesus to start tripping balls and think he was being whisked from place to place. If that's the case, Prime's robotic brain would probably be immune.

Jesus HAD just fasted in the desert for 40* days (*"40" is bible-speak for "a lot"; so he had in fact fasted for "quite a long time") so there's a case that Satan might just be someone who enjoys fucking with people who are tripping balls.

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2008-04-08 10:30pm

Aside from giving a drug-high to Jesus, Satan also seems to be able to cause all sorts of sickness with Job.

So, given the evidence, it appears that Satan's powers are mostly focused around disease and mind-altering drugs. Optimus Prime is a robot, and thus completely immune to both.

Satan gets curbstomped.

avatarxprime · Post by **avatarxprime** » 2008-04-08 11:10pm

Oni Koneko Damien wrote:Aside from giving a drug-high to Jesus, Satan also seems to be able to cause all sorts of sickness with Job.

So, given the evidence, it appears that Satan's powers are mostly focused around disease and mind-altering drugs. Optimus Prime is a robot, and thus completely immune to both.

Satan gets curbstomped.

He also caused the "fire of God" to fall on Job's sheep and servants while causing "a great wind" to strike a house such that the house collapsed and killed all the occupants. Depending on your interpretation of this he can call down meteors and create whirlwinds on his target.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2008-04-10 12:41am

The various incarnations of Optimus Prime/Primal HAVE defeated enemies with the firepower to make the full might of hell's fury look like illegal fireworks in comparison. I believe G1 Megatron's tech specs say he can destroy a small town with one shot, so he can probably duplicate the devastation Yahweh wreaked upon Sodom and Gomorrah. BW Megatron survived a dunk in molten lava, and the fact that he was defeated suggests the Autobots/Maximals can find a way to defeat an enemy that can resist the effects of hellfire and brimstone. And then there's Unicron, who, despite his ability to devour entire planets, has been defeated by the Primes/Primals, sometimes REPEATEDLY.

The evidence given in the various 'Transformers' cartoons and comics suggests defeating Satan will be a piece of cake for heroes who have survived MULTIPLE battles against Megatron and/or Unicron.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-04-10 08:48pm

There's a couple of things to note here, one, Satan is referred to as the "prince of lies" and so may not be easy to find if he doesn't want to be. Also, Satan is apparently the "prince of the world" and would presumably use his "see the world and all its inhabitants" power and the regal authority over the planet to drop nukes on the appropriate area from relative safety.

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2008-04-10 09:39pm

Beast Wars-era Predacons were able to blow apart mountains with focused blasts. Yet Beast Wars Megaton, at point blank range, was forced to charge his weapon to near-overload in order to damage SOME of the face of the completley unpowered and already critically damaged G1 Optimus Prime.

Satan better be packing some insane firepower.

Post by **Kuja** » 2008-04-10 10:16pm

NeoGoomba wrote:Beast Wars-era Predacons were able to blow apart mountains with focused blasts. Yet Beast Wars Megaton, at point blank range, was forced to charge his weapon to near-overload in order to damage SOME of the face of the completley unpowered and already critically damaged G1 Optimus Prime.

Satan better be packing some insane firepower.

I'm pretty sure only Rampage was capable of that kind of firepower (blwoing up mountains) otherwise Megatron could have done the job himself.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2008-04-11 12:22am

Zuul wrote:There's a couple of things to note here, one, Satan is referred to as the "prince of lies" and so may not be easy to find if he doesn't want to be.

The Autobots HAVE dealt with deceptive enemies, so they could probably find a way to deal with Satan's disguises. (See Lord Chumleigh, the nut with a British accent who wanted Optimus' head as a trophy; or Megatron, who also did the "Prince of Lies" thing to get the Dinobots on his side; or Soundwave, whose disguise as a tower/antenna made him invisible to Autobots driving within 12 feet of him in the first episode of G1.)

Also, Satan is apparently the "prince of the world" and would presumably use his "see the world and all its inhabitants" power and the regal authority over the planet to drop nukes on the appropriate area from relative safety.

I don't recall Satan having that kind of firepower in the Bible. (Yahweh, yes, with Sodom and Gomorrah, but G1 Megatron can match that feat.) The Autobot Ark is parked in a volcano, though, so if Satan is able to make it erupt, he may cause the Autobots a bit of trouble. (Of course, the Decepticons DID make the volcano erupt in G1, and the Autobots were able to minimize the resulting damage and save their base, so even that tactic may not be Satan's best choice.)

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2008-04-11 02:11am

avatarxprime wrote:He also caused the "fire of God" to fall on Job's sheep and servants while causing "a great wind" to strike a house such that the house collapsed and killed all the occupants. Depending on your interpretation of this he can call down meteors and create whirlwinds on his target.

So, he has a flamethrower and he stomped a few houses. Hah.

Blackout could do better

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2008-04-15 03:45pm

Satan's wrath is nothing compared to that of mighty Galvatron!

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2008-04-15 05:28pm

Galvatron wrote:Satan's wrath is nothing compared to that of mighty Galvatron!

Still constipated, I see.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-04-15 06:32pm

Sidewinder wrote: I don't recall Satan having that kind of firepower in the Bible. (Yahweh, yes, with Sodom and Gomorrah, but G1 Megatron can match that feat.) The Autobot Ark is parked in a volcano, though, so if Satan is able to make it erupt, he may cause the Autobots a bit of trouble. (Of course, the Decepticons DID make the volcano erupt in G1, and the Autobots were able to minimize the resulting damage and save their base, so even that tactic may not be Satan's best choice.)

I didn't say Satan had that firepower, I said he rules the world, (which does have that firepower) which is something the Bible says in a few places.

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2008-04-15 07:25pm

Darth Servo wrote:Still constipated, I see.

You would be too if you got your ass handed to you by Judd Nelson.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2008-04-16 10:55pm

Zuul wrote:I didn't say Satan had that firepower, I said he rules the world, (which does have that firepower) which is something the Bible says in a few places.

I say this line about Satan is either an exaggeration or an outright lie. If Satan IS the "Prince of the World" and able to order Earth's various political/military leaders to nuke the Ark, WHY THE HELL are people worshipping Jehovah/Allah and Jesus Christ instead of him? WHY THE HELL do churches devoted to Jesus and mosques devoted to Allah outnumber those devoted to Satan by magnitudes? Unless you claim that Jesus IS Satan, there's no reason why the "Prince of the World" would let stand thousands of houses of worship devoted to his nemesis, or for BILLIONS of people to chant the name(s) of his sworn enemie(s).

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-04-17 06:58am

Sidewinder wrote: I say this line about Satan is either an exaggeration or an outright lie. If Satan IS the "Prince of the World" and able to order Earth's various political/military leaders to nuke the Ark, WHY THE HELL are people worshipping Jehovah/Allah and Jesus Christ instead of him? WHY THE HELL do churches devoted to Jesus and mosques devoted to Allah outnumber those devoted to Satan by magnitudes? Unless you claim that Jesus IS Satan, there's no reason why the "Prince of the World" would let stand thousands of houses of worship devoted to his nemesis, or for BILLIONS of people to chant the name(s) of his sworn enemie(s).

Because the "holy spirit" is stronger. Besides, depending on the sect, the population that aren't fooled by Satan may be as small as 100 people (see WBC) since the others are corrupt and only your guys truly know God.

Lusankya · Post by **Lusankya** » 2008-04-17 09:06am

TithonusSyndrome wrote:In the New Testament, Satan also whisks Jesus around from place to place, testing his faith with scenery or something. I guess this means he's a really speedy flier.

This shouldn't matter. It's not as though Optimus Prime hasn't had any experience against flying enemies.