SDN film studio, RAR!

Styphon · Post by **Styphon** » 2007-10-18 07:48pm

You have been given one million dollars, three years, and the population of SDN to show Hollywood how to make a movie that is both good and profitable. Finding a script shouldn't be too hard, IF you can work around the fanfic forum's tangled web of copyright issues. You can cast anyone you want, just keep yourself under-budget! All other manpower, from directing to SFX to catering, must be done by SDNers. Do you have what it takes to turn a profit? Can you do well enough to garner sequels, or perhaps launch an entirely new studio? How ludicrously unrealistic is that budget? And why am I still asking questions?

Meest · Post by **Meest** » 2007-10-18 08:29pm

One million is really low for any nation wide or North America release. Even if people work for free the logistics can go over a million really fast. From equipment rental to food and lodging it goes fast. Need a few more million to make it not look like a cheap indie, something in the Saw range of 8million leaves enough money to at least advertise it.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2007-10-18 08:44pm

Two words: porn movies. We can crank out a good half dozen of them and still come in under budget, then we use the proceeds from the porn to make a real movie. We'll probably need a good 10-15 mil for that.

Styphon · Post by **Styphon** » 2007-10-18 08:56pm

aerius wrote:Two words: porn movies. We can crank out a good half dozen of them and still come in under budget, then we use the proceeds from the porn to make a real movie. We'll probably need a good 10-15 mil for that.

I fully endorse this plan... assume you've got two years and $12 mil after porn. What's your real movie?

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2007-10-18 09:06pm

$12 million isn't going to be doing anything other than an indie film with next to no special effects.

If you were going to be putting $1 million into a "real" film and not a porno, it would end up being a short piece, maybe half an hour.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2007-10-18 09:12pm

"Blair Witch Project" was produced for under $1 million, although many millions went into promotion and distribution.

And...what does RAR mean?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2007-10-18 09:16pm

The Big One Miniseries.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2007-10-18 09:34pm

Kanastrous wrote:"Blair Witch Project" was produced for under $1 million, although many millions went into promotion and distribution.

The actual film was made independently and then picked up by a distributor.

Obviously, this is how our hypothetical film would go. Made, then shopped around.

And...what does RAR mean?

It's a board meme.

Hawkwings · Post by **Hawkwings** » 2007-10-18 09:45pm

We could probably do "Battle of the Hymn" without messy copyright issues. Need more money though, like everyone's been saying.

The Big One Miniseries.

I approve.

Styphon · Post by **Styphon** » 2007-10-18 09:58pm

Granted I pulled $1mil out of my ass... use whatever budget sounds reasonable?

Hawkwings · Post by **Hawkwings** » 2007-10-18 09:59pm

So we're putting the HAB in charge of budget? And while we're at it, how about putting them in charge of equipment procurement also?

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2007-10-18 10:05pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:

And...what does RAR mean?
It's a board meme.

Thanks.

That's magnificently unhelpful.

Fleet Admiral JD · Post by **Fleet Admiral JD** » 2007-10-18 10:10pm

Kanastrous wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:

And...what does RAR mean?
It's a board meme.
Thanks.

That's magnificently unhelpful.

Hey, fucktard, why don't you take a look at previous posts and figure it out? It's not a hard thing to grasp unless your skull is as thick as a frigging tree trunk. Then again, judging by some of your posting behavior, maybe the truth is that simple concepts are beyond your comprehension.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2007-10-18 10:36pm

I'd probably make 'Frozen Ragnarok', the fictional anime series featured in my 'Bad Anime' fanfic. To raise enough money, I'll convince Burger King, Coca Cola, Ford, and GLOCK to pay me for product placement.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-10-19 12:31am

I'd take ten percent of the million dollars and churn out dozens of 8mm experimental films, then blow the remaining $900K on cocaine.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2007-10-19 12:56am

Hawkwings wrote:
The Big One Miniseries.
I approve.

We also sign up the special effects house who did the nBSG miniseries; so we can get those mushroom clouds

ray245 · Post by **ray245** » 2007-10-19 01:13am

I thought that several member can do 3D modeling and animation ?

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2007-10-19 01:29am

Fleet Admiral JD wrote:Hey, fucktard, why don't you take a look at previous posts and figure it out? It's not a hard thing to grasp unless your skull is as thick as a frigging tree trunk. Then again, judging by some of your posting behavior, maybe the truth is that simple concepts are beyond your comprehension.

Actually I don't know what RAR is either. I know its connotation but not what it actually means. I think that's a rather uncalled for response to what is a simple question, and I'm sure most of you can spare a few seconds to type out a more descriptive explanation of what the meme is.

3D modelling and animation are all nice, but more importantly we need a proper screenplay first. Nothing can be done until we know what the story itself is going to be about. So someone who's a decent writer on our board will have to hammer out a full screenplay.

Then we have to work out the scenes and do several storyboards, most likely and work up some kind of production schedule. We'll need a someone with a decent cinematography sense, and the art of good camera angles and shots is a lot more complicated than the average person may initially believe.

From that production schedule and storyboard, we work out all the equipment we'll need, and work the money details.

Of course, we'll need a director.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2007-10-19 01:32am

Hawkwings wrote:We could probably do "Battle of the Hymn" without messy copyright issues. Need more money though, like everyone's been saying.

Edit: fixed quote tags.

Hawkwings · Post by **Hawkwings** » 2007-10-19 01:32am

I'm pretty sure RAR means "Read and review"

So, the first order of business is to find the person to organize this whole thing.

Edit:

@ Knife

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2007-10-19 02:12am

You fools don't even know the true meaning of RAR!

Zor, a member of this board, used to frequently make these hippothetecle senareos that range from the normal, to the bizzare, to the obtuse. Some people were likening his threads to "hippothetecle senareo! RAR!!!"

Or, you could say that RAR is an acronym for Random Hippotesticle Reality.

(Hypothetical must be misspelled)

Hrm...an intelligent and brutal pseudo-documentary, with dudes getting chased by fundie-killer-thugs, with lots of dialogue and charactery stuffs, and un-glamorized but pretty "realistic" action scenes. That could be cool.

Maybe the story could be like how this guy scored with this girl from a conservative Christian family. Except the girl's father is, in this case, a US Senator who sends a CIA-trained hit team to kill the guy and bring his daughter back. It'd be like making the Bourne Identity a Chick Flick.

Except it ends up with the girl's dad getting shotgunned in the balls.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2007-10-19 04:44am

If we had an unlimited budget, The Humanist Inheritance would make a fucking kickass movie. Only thing is, I don't know of any Asian women who post here, so we wouldn't have anyone to play Tran.

[size=0]I am definitely not biased in HI's favor from the fact that it's RedImperator's creation, or that the novel will be dedicated to me. No sir.[/size]

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2007-10-19 05:11am

OTOH, comedies are cheap and if done right, rather good. I'm sure SDnetters could make something sufficiently funny and witty.

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2007-10-19 06:46am

Once we get the capital needed from the porno, i sugjest the following things.

A movie about the nations of Earth being offered membership into a alien federation, at the cost of putting heavy regulations on monotheistic religion.

A movie involving Sex Watches hitting the Market, done in the manner of British Comedies.

Anthromorphise the boards culture, we have the HAB, who are going all 300 with giant nuclear powered tanks with gundams as Persians, me constantly creating vast cockamaimy hippothetacle scenarios (RAR!), Stark being a jerk with insanely high standards, fundies getting their asses kicked and Mike Wong watching over all of us, that is when he is not walking his dog, playing with his kids or watching porn and having sex with his wife. We gotta be able to get a plot out of it.

Zor

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2007-10-19 07:00am

You could probably make a decent low budget horror on $1 million. The difficult part would be getting it shown in places, but if you entered it into a load of amateur film festivals, that'd be a step in the right direction. Anyway, we'd need to sit down and crank out an idea for a script first, then write and rewrite that, then go film it. That said, it might be better trying to use that money to make a pilot for an ongoing series with the money.