Street -- Back Again

[Winter]

Well, I'm a published Author now.

Street: Empathy, comprising the first year of the serial run (and a little bit extra), is now up for sale in print. For more info check out the website at http://streetofeyes.com

I hope you'll all consider getting a copy, it's worth it!



Old post continues:

As the topic title says, lovers of gritty SF and cyberpunk fiction should find this link very interesting:

http://streetofeyes.com

Called Street, it's a serialised novel available for free online, updated with new segments twice a week. The genre is gritty, nasty cyberpunk that honours and breaks with tradition in equal measure. Updates have run uninterrupted since the site launched six months ago and will keep doing so until the story's done (or I die, whichever comes first).

I'm the author of the story, so feel free to post any comments here or on the official forums (available from the link). Be as detailed or anal as you like in your crit -- I'm not perfect, there's always a few spelling and grammar errors that sneak in. Helping me kill them is always appreciated.

Regards,
Winter

[Winter]

There's a brand-new segment up today as well, so give it a look. If you like it, bookmark it and drop a post here.

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

I kinda of like Gina, the hooker with the heart of gold, but I wonder what sort of group she fell in with (eco-terrorists, industrial spies?) and what sort of creep Gabriel is (black marketer, corporate cancer man?). I wonder if you've got a "Fanfiction Bible" on Street's universe with a history of the East Asian metropolis it is set in, what the global political blocks are and info on the inevitable megacorporations who really run things...

[Winter]

I kinda of like Gina, the hooker with the heart of gold, but I wonder what sort of group she fell in with (eco-terrorists, industrial spies?) and what sort of creep Gabriel is (black marketer, corporate cancer man?). I wonder if you've got a "Fanfiction Bible" on Street's universe with a history of the East Asian metropolis it is set in, what the global political blocks are and info on the inevitable megacorporations who really run things...

I don't generally write with a setting bible, since I prefer to just wing the whole thing as I go along. I just keep a big file of random notes, lines for future scenes, and deleted bits that got the old editing chop but were too good to be thrown away. And of course I've got the 'feel' of the place in my head.

Mind you, Street's setting is weird and flexible enough to contain almost anything short of starships or wizards with pointy hats, so a bible should never really be needed.

As for wondering about things, the story will keep you wondering right to the end, as you follow Gina uncovering the answer to each question in turn.

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

The two Federal agents reminds me of UNATCO special operatives, Paul & JC Denton, from the old(ish) PC game, Deus-Ex - they were obviously "enhanced" by nanomachines or other funky tech, if they were able to sprout out battle armour and guns from nowhere, then wade through dozens of heavily armed combatants with comparative ease (while Jock of course reminds me of Tracer Tong).

Don't spoil things for me, but I find that Gabriel villain very intriguing and scary - you wonder if he is not really human and merely an organic avatar of the AI network that is carving a small path of destruction across China, where it even levelled a massive Triad stronghold that was defended by cutting edge security systems.

[Big Orange]

I've read right up to point where the Emperor was pointing a pistol at Bombers' head, deep within the sterile bowls of the Federation's Hong Kong headquaters - excellent stuff. And the Federation seems so much like the Alliance from the Fire Fly-verse, right down to their grey uniforms and obsession with cleaness...

And what about a Street equivalent to Blue Sun? I've got an idea for a megacorporation that controls most of the global economy and industry, with close dealings with the Federation; the Khan-Wu Corporation, a vast business empire that was founded when Indian and Chinese businessmen decided to merge their companies.

[Winter]

The two Federal agents reminds me of UNATCO special operatives, Paul & JC Denton, from the old(ish) PC game, Deus-Ex - they were obviously "enhanced" by nanomachines or other funky tech, if they were able to sprout out battle armour and guns from nowhere, then wade through dozens of heavily armed combatants with comparative ease (while Jock of course reminds me of Tracer Tong).

Don't spoil things for me, but I find that Gabriel villain very intriguing and scary - you wonder if he is not really human and merely an organic avatar of the AI network that is carving a small path of destruction across China, where it even levelled a massive Triad stronghold that was defended by cutting edge security systems.

I can't say Deus Ex wasn't an inspiration, it's one of my favourite games, but I don't see many real parellels between Jock and Tracer Tong. As I recall, Tracer wasn't such an arsehole.

Gabriel's backstory is something that I've mostly got down already, but I won't say what it is, because it's lovely and weird and complicated.

I've read right up to point where the Emperor was pointing a pistol at Bombers' head, deep within the sterile bowls of the Federation's Hong Kong headquaters - excellent stuff. And the Federation seems so much like the Alliance from the Fire Fly-verse, right down to their grey uniforms and obsession with cleaness...

Hum. Firefly is my favourite TV show ever, and I take a lot of dialogue cues from it, but I didn't think I absorbed the visual style that much. Something to think about.

And what about a Street equivalent to Blue Sun? I've got an idea for a megacorporation that controls most of the global economy and industry, with close dealings with the Federation; the Khan-Wu Corporation, a vast business empire that was founded when Indian and Chinese businessmen decided to merge their companies.

I've always found the idea of one giant megacorp, as opposed to several big ones permanently at each others' throats, to be a bit limiting. I rather prefer some tension between powerful factions. Even the Federation in Street isn't of one mind about everything.

Mind you, it can add to the oppressiveness of the setting, but I wouldn't add it to this particular story -- there are already a lot of balls in the air, it doesn't need to become a sci-fi Song of Ice & Fire.

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

I can't say Deus Ex wasn't an inspiration, it's one of my favourite games, but I don't see many real parellels between Jock and Tracer Tong. As I recall, Tracer wasn't such an arsehole.

Well I couldn't ignore the similarities of Jock and Tong both being eccentric Oriental technocrats setting up shop within a heavily guarded Triad compound, even though their personalities are somewhat different (Tong seemed middle aged and very modest, while Jock seems a much more brash young(ish) guy between the age of 29 to 39). Not unlike the obvious parallels of UNATCO and the Federation having much more sinister motives that go against their public façade of being benevolent peace keepers (I also have a nagging feeling that Bomber/"Simon" is an ex-Federation operative).

Gabriel's backstory is something that I've mostly got down already, but I won't say what it is, because it's lovely and weird and complicated.

He seems very ambiguous and you've wonderfully set a misunderstanding between Gina and Gabriel - despite having vivid images of nuclear genocide in his mind and using hired Russian thugs, he doesn't seem to be entirely evil and I now suspect that the Federation was really responsible for flattening the Emperor's HQ. And I think you've contradicted the character of Gina - the way you wrote the character at the start, it was as if she was some kind of expensive street hooker and not a hired telepath.

Hum. Firefly is my favourite TV show ever, and I take a lot of dialogue cues from it, but I didn't think I absorbed the visual style that much. Something to think about.

Well I imagine the Federation grunts would be wearing grey berets or helmets borrowed from Starship Troopers...

I've always found the idea of one giant megacorp, as opposed to several big ones permanently at each others' throats, to be a bit limiting. I rather prefer some tension between powerful factions. Even the Federation in Street isn't of one mind about everything.

Khan-Wu would be a very powerful megacorp, but it would be part of a megacorp triumvirate, with two other similar sized megacorporations working in the same commercial fields as Khan-Wu, which involves the manufacturing of Spice pharmaceuticals and nanomachines, among countless other things (but there still would be many hundreds of smaller independent companies existing within the shadow of "the Big Three"). And the Federation could not be the sole military superpower - "the Big Three" could have their own sizable paramilitary forces and intelligence agencies, but there would mostly be a subtle corporate cold war being conducted between the megacorps (as seen in the woefully ignored Candadian sci-fi thriller, Cypher).

I kinda of like "Khan-Wu" since the name is obviously inspired by Weyland-Yutani from the Alien saga, Khan-Wu fits in well enough in the Asian dominated setting of Street (where it would imply that India and China are more important than the US) and the Khan-Wu Corporation is also inspired by Khan Industries from Disney's TaleSpin series.

Mind you, it can add to the oppressiveness of the setting, but I wouldn't add it to this particular story -- there are already a lot of balls in the air, it doesn't need to become a sci-fi Song of Ice & Fire.

Regards,
Winter

But it is potentially a very good setting which can write itself, but I see you've got your first story laid out fine so-far.

[Winter]

He seems very ambiguous and you've wonderfully set a misunderstanding between Gina and Gabriel - despite having vivid images of nuclear genocide in his mind and using hired Russian thugs, he doesn't seem to be entirely evil and I now suspect that the Federation was really responsible for flattening the Emperor's HQ. And I think you've contradicted the character of Gina - the way you wrote the character at the start, it was as if she was some kind of expensive street hooker and not a hired telepath.

The confusion about what Gina actually does was part of the plan from the very beginning. Because of what the drugs do to all telepaths eventually, these people are relegated straight down to the dumps, renting out their minds on the street instead of their bodies. They're worse off than hookers in some ways. Gina uses her sex appeal for no other purpose than to catch people's attention to her instead of all the other hopefuls.

But it is potentially a very good setting which can write itself, but I see you've got your first story laid out fine so-far.

The setting has a lot of potential for stories. Don't think I'll ever write a direct sequel to Street, though. I'd play it more like Gibson, different stories with different characters in the same setting. After surviving one of my plots, most characters would be well sick and tired of excitement.

Well I couldn't ignore the similarities of Jock and Tong both being eccentric Oriental technocrats setting up shop within a heavily guarded Triad compound, even though their personalities are somewhat different (Tong seemed middle aged and very modest, while Jock seems a much more brash young(ish) guy between the age of 29 to 39).

Jock is black, not oriental. I knew that wouldn't be clear enough, will have to emphasize it in the eventual edit.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, and will keep reading as new segments come out. Maybe spread the word around to those who might be interested? We need all the readers we can get.

Lastly, a question: Which was your favourite character, and why?

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

The setting has a lot of potential for stories. Don't think I'll ever write a direct sequel to Street, though. I'd play it more like Gibson, different stories with different characters in the same setting. After surviving one of my plots, most characters would be well sick and tired of excitement.

You can have mostly unrelated future storylines, but there would be some recurring characters from earlier stories, although there will be the constant running theme of the Federation struggling to run things and not be entirely evil, the limited nuclear war and megacorporations (which we haven't seen properly yet, although doubtlessly we've saw their countless products everywhere in your story and Yumito could potentionally be a sinister company in future tales).

Jock is black, not oriental. I knew that wouldn't be clear enough, will have to emphasize it in the eventual edit.

I kinda of imagine Jock to be either Cambodian or black African mixed with East Asian (similar to actor Marcus Chong, but ruddier) and have a quite tallish frame.

Lastly, a question: Which was your favourite character, and why?

A tie between Bomber and Rat, although no past tences due to the story not finishing yet (although it seems like you've got a few chapters to go). The Emperor is an interesting semi-villain/anti-hero as well and I felt sorry for that adolescent Fed sentry that he brutally murdered (although not so sorry for the Fed harpy that was torturing Bomber Clockwork Orange-style).

[Battlehymn Republic]

Recommunist, eh? Looks like it really is set in an old-school cyberpunk setting. Just make sure you update a few touches, such as imagining how today's universal, egalitarian vision of Web 2.0 would evolve in the dystopian future of tomorrow. Or mentioning in an aside about what happens to India- after all, once today's commu-capitalist Chinese go the way of the 80's Japanese, the Hindians would be the ones to take their place.

[Big Orange]

India and China overtaking a partially nuked America sounds plausible, with the Khan-Wu Corporation (my idea that Winter could take or leave) being the result of an economic union between the two massive countries (although the "Wu" would be in charge of the "Khan" so to speak, with the Khan-Wu Corporation primarily having Chinese executives or shareholders and having almost direct control over Indian politics). One of Khan-Wu's most successful consumer products is Khan Kola...

A ruined North America could be host to an megacorporation as well; Universal Applications (another of my stupid backstory ideas). Universal Applications could almost be seen as the commercial/industrial wing of the Federation, by being founded partially under Fed patronage and being one of the Fed's biggest contractors. Universal Applications could have it's origins from companies and economic assets located in the West Coast, Canada and Central to South America that had survived the worst of WWIII and is now the main driving force in the slow rebuilding of the nuked East Coast.

And Yumito, despite having an annoyingly cute VR masgot, would be evil in supplying the Federation with those funky VR torture devices that Bomber was strapped into (and it would be darkly comic as well). Although in Street there seem to be many relatively smaller companies running hotels and some of the automobile firms appear to relatively unchanged as well (although there is the possibility of them being owned subsidiaries of the fictional megacorps that I thought up of).

Does anyone else think my random ideas for other Street organizations seem as rum as they sound?

[Phantasee]

I started reading it, I'm at part 2. Very nice.

Personally, I'm a little more entranced by the glowing arrows you have for navigation, but that's just because it feels like something I would see in the elevator or something.

Very interesting action, glad to see all that posturing with the tazer eventually came to some use.

[Winter]

Although in Street there seem to be many relatively smaller companies running hotels and some of the automobile firms appear to relatively unchanged as well (although there is the possibility of them being owned subsidiaries of the fictional megacorps that I thought up of).

Now this is more in keeping with how I'd play a megacorp-owned world. Every brand name ever to have existed will be a wholly-owned subsidiary to something by the time we reach Street's undefined point in time, and I imagine them being ruthlessly repackaged, exploited and shoved down the happy consumers' throats. Like they're doing today with all the 80s cartoons and toy lines, and companies like Hasbro buying up every popular gaming IP they can get their hands on. And we, as consumer whores, love it.

There's still megacorps, but they're not in-your-face all the time like, say, Blue Sun. They rule from the shadows, with their only major felt presence being the little logos attached to everything, and the hastily-spoken phrase, ". . . a wholly-owned subsidiary of <company>."

Just like Hasbro, really. That kind-of creeps me out . . .

Personally, I'm a little more entranced by the glowing arrows you have for navigation, but that's just because it feels like something I would see in the elevator or something.

Heh, a friend of mine made the page for me, including graphics, and I think he did a bang-up job. Captured the atmosphere perfectly.

Very interesting action, glad to see all that posturing with the tazer eventually came to some use.

Of course, the taser comes in very handy at several points of the story.

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

Now this is more in keeping with how I'd play a megacorp-owned world. Every brand name ever to have existed will be a wholly-owned subsidiary to something by the time we reach Street's undefined point in time, and I imagine them being ruthlessly repackaged, exploited and shoved down the happy consumers' throats. Like they're doing today with all the 80s cartoons and toy lines, and companies like Hasbro buying up every popular gaming IP they can get their hands on. And we, as consumer whores, love it.

There's still megacorps, but they're not in-your-face all the time like, say, Blue Sun. They rule from the shadows, with their only major felt presence being the little logos attached to everything, and the hastily-spoken phrase, ". . . a wholly-owned subsidiary of <company>."

Just like Hasbro, really. That kind-of creeps me out . . .

So in public these megacorporations would still have their own recognizable logos and names, but their corporate seal would 90% of the time be in the corner in small print so to speak, while their high profile consumer brands (both real or fictional) would be advertised everywhere? Universal Applications sounds like the kind of very bland and low key but very omnipresent "holding company" that you think sounds rather ominous, Winter, although I think very big companies in real life like Microsoft, General Electric, Exxon-Mobil and Nestle' are relatively low key as well.

[Winter]

although I think very big companies in real life like Microsoft, General Electric, Exxon-Mobil and Nestle' are relatively low key as well.

That's true, but let's be honest, even today's multinationals are pygmies compared to the kind of megacorps that cyberpunk usually envisages.

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

although I think very big companies in real life like Microsoft, General Electric, Exxon-Mobil and Nestle' are relatively low key as well.

That's true, but let's be honest, even today's multinationals are pygmies compared to the kind of megacorps that cyberpunk usually envisages.

Regards,
Winter

A true megacorporation is one that has perhaps outgrown the state altogether, although in Street the Federation is apparently the ultimate authority with a major paramilitary presence in most countries (or so it first seems anyway) - in Deus-Ex Page Industries was most certainly a megacorporation if it had MJ12 and UNATCO as it's military wings, had the monopoly on Ambrosia production and owned Area 51 (although like a creepy holding company, you only heard the name "Page Industries").

[Big Orange]

God, wasn't the Emperor crazy - why did he get psychopathically furious over the severe torture of Bomber (blowing out the brains of Bomber's torturer) then a split second later he decide to kill him?

[Winter]

God, wasn't the Emperor crazy - why did he get psychopathically furious over the severe torture of Bomber (blowing out the brains of Bomber's torturer) then a split second later he decide to kill him?

"The enemy of enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more, no less."

Personally, I think he was just planning ahead. Having a Fed on the scene would . . . complicate things.

Regards,
Winter

[Battlehymn Republic]

Another idea for mixing old-school 80's RPG-styled cyberpunk with today's realities (alternatively: updating the cyberpunk)- use the words "viral" and "memes" somewhere, preferentially in conjunction with each other.

[Big Orange]

"The enemy of enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more, no less."

Personally, I think he was just planning ahead. Having a Fed on the scene would . . . complicate things.

Is he that paranoid about keeping his identity safe? I doubt he would get away with killing Bomber, Rat and Gina since his hacker lifeline, Jock, would've likely dropped him like a hot potato and he had to fight his way out of the detention block alone.

I liked it how you kept the Emperor's death slightly vague (although Bomber likely snapped the Emperor's neck), but I do wonder how two young women and a seriously wounded ex-commando could escape from a high-security underground complex situated under a giant garrison...

[metavac]

Now pretty much every piece of cyberpunk I've ever seen or read basically boils down to some basement dweller's fantasy of Harry Callahan/Sam Spade/James Dean in the future--plus some nerds with guns and wearable computers. Our boy Ryan doesn't seem to break the mold here.

Can anybody recommend dystopian sci-fi that actually reads like the author knows something about the streets? Hell, I'll even settle for work by someone who's at least picked up a piece of hood exploitation and thought to himself "hey, that might be different."

[metavac]

Another idea for mixing old-school 80's RPG-styled cyberpunk with today's realities (alternatively: updating the cyberpunk)- use the words "viral" and "memes" somewhere, preferentially in conjunction with each other.

Yeah, that'd really catch on in the streets.

[Winter]

Now pretty much every piece of cyberpunk I've ever seen or read basically boils down to some basement dweller's fantasy of Harry Callahan/Sam Spade/James Dean in the future--plus some nerds with guns and wearable computers. Our boy Ryan doesn't seem to break the mold here.

Can anybody recommend dystopian sci-fi that actually reads like the author knows something about the streets? Hell, I'll even settle for work by someone who's at least picked up a piece of hood exploitation and thought to himself "hey, that might be different."

*scratches his head*

I'm sorry, were you under the impression I was writing about 'the hood'? About the noble 'gangsta muthafuckas' all 'held down by the Man', gettin' 'busy in tha hizzy' 'fightin' tha powah'? 'Cause, I'm sorry, I just can't bring myself to write utter shit.

(Apologies to anyone who isn't metavac that might be offended by that, it isn't meant to be in any way racist. I'm just being sarky.)

Not everything is about America or Americans. You may have noticed that this story is set about as far away from America as possible while still being on the same planet. It's a story about human nature and the social/political effects of technology and globalisation. So, maybe what you lack isn't 'hood exploitation', it's geographical and anthropological knowledge.

Regards,
Winter

[Big Orange]

Don't worry, Winter, metavac hasn't earned his "Village Idiot" tag for nothing - that is a good question about culture and ethicity in Street since Gina and Bomber are both definitely North American in origin and white, while the Federation is a universal agency with a mixture of people from all over the globe (it's scary that the Federation is brutally fascistic and also very egalitarian).