A quandary

Agent Fisher · Post by **Agent Fisher** » 2004-01-30 07:09pm

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:Update:

It's done, I called her mom today. I told her everything I knew, which turned out to be a lot more than she's been able to extract from my friend. I have also turned over the relevant chat logs. Her mom has already been talking to the police and my friend's school. I uncovered a route of communication that my friend tried to use to get in touch with the dirtbag (checking her e-mail at school,) which will now be shut down. Her mom also knows who I am and how to get in touch with me. More on this as the situation develops.

Good Job. Guys that do stuff like that need to be shot.

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2004-02-02 04:01pm

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:Update:

It's done, I called her mom today. I told her everything I knew, which turned out to be a lot more than she's been able to extract from my friend. I have also turned over the relevant chat logs. Her mom has already been talking to the police and my friend's school. I uncovered a route of communication that my friend tried to use to get in touch with the dirtbag (checking her e-mail at school,) which will now be shut down. Her mom also knows who I am and how to get in touch with me. More on this as the situation develops.

To all those who contributed, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Same situation, new dilemma. Reviewing the conversations between myself and my friend, I've uncovered circumstantial evidence which would provide an exact date and an approximate time when the meeting took place.

Follow my train of logic for a minute:
- Fact: We had an argument on 20 December, 2003.
- Fact: I apologized on 22 December, 2003, but she decided she needed time to herself.
- Fact: She returned on 25 December. Her behavior was normal, though things between us were a little strained. This continued until:
- Fact: On the evening of 27 December, she tells me of deciding to hang out with a friend of hers the night before, and spent the day of 27 December with him. On this night, and immediately afterward, our relationship deteriorates drastically, almost as if a switch had been thrown.
- Fact: When she finally tells me, she says that she and the dirtbag met "at the end of December."

Notes: She tells me she decided the night before to hang out with her friend. This strikes me as strange, as she typically has to clear these things a day or two in advance with her mom. She gives me the friend's name, and tells me they just hung out from 11 - 5. She's rather vague on exactly what it was they did, which isn't quite like her. And she gives the name of a friend she uses to cover for her if she's doing something she's not supposed to.

Conclusions: Given the ambiguity of her statements on the 27th, and the sudden chilling our friendship experienced from that day forward, I believe that she actually met the dirtbag on 27 December, from about 12 PM to about 5 PM. Another possible date is 30 December, as that was when she told me that she next had work. She works part-time at a sandwich shop, and can usually get time-off, and she can do so without telling her mom.

Several questions:
1) How sound is my deductive reasoning here?
2) Is this something that I should share with her mom? Would it help from a legal/investigative standpoint? Or would it not actually contribute anything meaningful?
3) What would be helpful from a legal/investigative standpoint?

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-02-02 04:38pm

1) The pieces fit together from the looks of it
2) Yes
3) Yes

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2004-02-03 05:40pm

Update:

I informed my friend's mom of my suspicions. It seems that her mom and I are in agreement, the evidence strongly suggests the 27th of December. I also told her of other things that my friend told me in the last month. (Things that didn't seem like my friend.)

The conversations I had with my friend were turned over to the police. They're not quite admissable as evidence. Any confessions my friend makes has to come from her personally. However, I am told that my intervention shaved a lot of time off what might've otherwise been a long and drawn out affair.

I have offered to testify when and if they nail the guy and the case goes to trial. My friend's mom tells me that my friend will be put into counseling, and has been locked away from internet access. She also tells me that she will let me know how things turn out, and that I can call and check up on the situation.

Again, thanks for your help folks. This shall be my last use of necromancy on this thread. It has served its purpose and may be locked, if needed.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2004-02-03 05:46pm

You did the right thing. Good job.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-02-03 07:39pm

Good man. You're doing the right thing here.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-02-03 08:22pm

Keep us posted man. I want to see if this creepwad gets taken down.

If she ever gives you flak about this, just remember, you have helped her when she couldn't help herself.

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-02-03 08:27pm

At least this is a case of good necromancy. Glad that things got better.

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2004-02-05 12:11pm

Comosicus wrote:At least this is a case of good necromancy. Glad that things got better.

And just when I though things were settling down a bit, my friend calls me three times yesterday on her cellphone.

The first was to tell me that the police took her computer, then to ask if any authorities had been talking to me, and then to tell me not to cooperate with them. "I don't want anybody to go to jail" she said. "Trust me, let me handle this," she also said. If only she knew . . .

The second time she called, it was because she realized that I didn't exactly answer her when she asked me to keep mum. Both times, I told her I was very worried about her, and that she'd be miserable and in danger until she came clean and told her mom and the cops everything they needed to know.

Some time afterwards, I called her mom to let her know that my friend had been in contact with me.

The third time my friend called, it was to apologize for her first two calls. She still doesn't understand, at all, the danger she's in, or why it is everyone is so concerned about her. At that time, I also learned that she had called the predator sometime in the last couple of weeks, and tipped him off to the fact that he's being investigated.

I stressed to her that she needs to stop shutting everybody out and that she needs to come forward with what she knows. I also told her that he could only want her for one reason, and one reason only, and what would happen if he'd been allowed to keep this up. Since I was caught off-guard, I don't think I was as effective with this message as I was with the other.

But, as long as we're talking, I can keep trying to hammer the reality of her situation into her. But it kinda felt like talking to the wall.

End of update.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-05 12:19pm

Argh; your friend is obviously still in fantasy-land about this fucking 46-year old shitbag who's trying to take advantage of her. I hope you can successfully take the bastard down.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2004-02-05 12:21pm

Shit.

You're still doing the right thing, I promise.

It must be great to have a friend like you to look out for oneself. I hope the bastard gets what he deserves.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-02-05 12:24pm

InnerBrat wrote:Shit.

You're still doing the right thing, I promise.

It must be great to have a friend like you to look out for oneself. I hope the bastard gets what he deserves.

Unless he's actually done something, he'd just get a warning off the cops, wouldn't he?

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-02-05 12:47pm

The relationship, as of her birthday, might be legal. It depends where they are located:

http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm

Glancing over the list, pretty much everything is 16 or over, so everything before that was rape. The guy is without a doubt a child molester and should be a serious concern regardless of any 'current legality'. I think you have to make up your mind whether you want to help or not. If so, you might have to go around her and tell someone like her parents or the police. I don't think she'll see her error until she's hurt. She won't like that you did so, you might lose a friend, but you'll have to determine what's more important for you. Its a real pickle, I'd hate to be in your shoes.

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2004-02-05 12:49pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
InnerBrat wrote:Shit.

You're still doing the right thing, I promise.

It must be great to have a friend like you to look out for oneself. I hope the bastard gets what he deserves.
Unless he's actually done something, he'd just get a warning off the cops, wouldn't he?

Oh, he's done something all right. It's all detailed in the OP. However, there isn't too much they can do if she doesn't start talking.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-02-05 01:02pm

Zoink, teens between 16 and 18 technically can consent, but the parents can press charges of statuatory rape if they so choose. In some places it is a misdomeanor in others a felony. Under 16 (in most places...in france it under 12 one more reason that the french are wierd) is molestaion and a felony.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-02-05 01:38pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:Zoink, teens between 16 and 18 technically can consent, but the parents can press charges of statuatory rape if they so choose.

The definitions of "age of consent" and "statuatory rape" is that you can't be charged with statuatory rape by having sex with someone that age.

Statuatory Rape:
Sexual relations with a person who has not reached the statutory age of consent.

Age of Consent
The age at which a person is legally considered competent to give consent, as to sexual intercourse.

EDIT: The thing parents use for kids 16-18 (for places with an age of consent of 16) is 'Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors" laws. You can invoke this if the person is giving the kid alcohol or drinking while around them, making her skips school, staying up too late, etc.

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2004-02-05 01:46pm

Zoink wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:Zoink, teens between 16 and 18 technically can consent, but the parents can press charges of statuatory rape if they so choose.
The definitions of "age of consent" and "statuatory rape" is that you can't be charged with statuatory rape by having sex with someone that age.

Statuatory Rape:
Sexual relations with a person who has not reached the statutory age of consent.

Age of Consent
The age at which a person is legally considered competent to give consent, as to sexual intercourse.

Notes:

This takes place in the state of California. The age of consent is 18. The maximum difference of ages is ten years. She was fifteen at the time he met her in person.

The 46 year old man has been following the classic profile of a sexual predator. He's preying on a vulnerable young girl, isolating her from those who can help her, and was gradually introducing her to more and more extreme concepts (read entire thread for details.)

Conclusions: He's a dangerous criminal, and he needs to go down hard. I am in contact with the girl's mother on this.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-02-05 01:50pm

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote: I am in contact with the girl's mother on this.

Sorry, I missed your post saying that. Good work!

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-02-05 04:57pm

I'm seriously hoping this SOB hits the dirt hard.

Keep us updated man.

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2004-02-06 04:15pm

Musing:

How does one go about convincing someone, like my friend, that the best thing that she can do is to stop trying to protect the dirtbag and tell her mom and the cops everything that happened?

Melkor · Post by **Melkor** » 2004-02-06 04:49pm

Have her look at that article about the girl who was killed perhaps?

Melkor · Post by **Melkor** » 2004-02-06 04:57pm

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:
The 46 year old man has been following the classic profile of a sexual predator. He's preying on a vulnerable young girl, isolating her from those who can help her, and was gradually introducing her to more and more extreme concepts (read entire thread for details.)

You might also try to find a legitimate source with some info on the classic profile of a sexual predator. Make sure she reads it (or make sure she listens as you read it over the phone), and when she begins to realize how familiar that stuff sounds hopefully a light bulb will go on in her head. If she's getting good counseling she'll open up sooner or later, but it would be great for her to wake up now and tell everything thats needed to nail this fucker.

Melkor · Post by **Melkor** » 2004-02-06 04:59pm

Either way you've done a lot of good so far. Don't kid yourself that there is some magical solution that you're not thinking of. Theres only so much a guy can do in a shitty situation like this.

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-02-06 05:37pm

You have all our support. Keep up the good job. And sometimes you have to help people against their will (because they don't know what they're doing or what they are into).

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2004-02-07 12:48am

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:Musing:

How does one go about convincing someone, like my friend, that the best thing that she can do is to stop trying to protect the dirtbag and tell her mom and the cops everything that happened?

Find out if he's done something like this before, and confront her with it?