Masturbation helps prevent prostate cancer, study shows....

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2003-07-16 03:46pm

Look what I found at Lycos (apparently, lifted from Reuters):

Linky

True, it looks like yet another study made by interpreting statistics...nevertheless:

Save yourself from cancer! Masturbate NOW!

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-07-16 03:47pm

If that is true then no one on this board is going to get cancer

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-16 03:48pm

But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-07-16 03:50pm

But....won't we go blind and get hairy palms? I don't know if its a fair trade off.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2003-07-16 03:52pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

I don't think I get this...

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-07-16 03:53pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*

Do what I do, and have someone else touch you at night. This wonderful concept is known as sex.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-07-16 03:55pm

aerius wrote:
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:But how can we touch ourselves at night AND avoid cancer? A PARADOX!!!

*universe impoldes*
Do what I do, and have someone else touch you at night. This wonderful concept is known as sex.

I'm all about someone else touching me

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-07-16 04:10pm

I think I'd rather get cancer than go blind.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-16 04:12pm

Stravo wrote:But....won't we go blind and get hairy palms? I don't know if its a fair trade off.

That's only if you spank it to scrabled porn. That is from a study by the Reagan Admin. I'm serious.

I have never seen or heard of hairy palms.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-07-16 04:24pm

Admiral Johnason wrote:That's only if you spank it to scrabled porn. That is from a study by the Reagan Admin. I'm serious.

Both Nixon and Reagan commisioned studies on sex and sexuality and their affects on human psychology and physiology. Result? Healthy as fuck. Reagan didn't like the idea tho, and did his damndest to hurt people. Nixon just said "feh.. whatever."

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-07-16 05:09pm

Damn, I can no longer say that you get cancer because you touch yourself.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-07-16 06:11pm

Im safe.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-07-16 08:23pm

See? Masturbation is good for more than the soul

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-07-16 08:48pm

Demiurge wrote:I think I'd rather get cancer than go blind.

To quote a wise man:

I'll do it until I need glasses.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-16 09:10pm

Darth Gojira wrote:See? Masturbation is good for more than the soul

And the body and mind!

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-07-16 09:24pm

Well if an apple a day keep the doctor away,then masturbating once a day keep prostate cancer away.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-07-16 09:32pm

The lifespan of the board members (indeed, most of the internet) just shot up

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-07-16 09:39pm

And anyone with large ammounts of KY will make a killing off of this place.

*makes an emergency trip to the nearest adult store*

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-07-16 09:46pm

Oh you say it like you weren't gonna masterbait regardless of it being good for your health or not

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-07-16 10:21pm

*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-16 10:26pm

Gandalf wrote:The lifespan of the board members (indeed, most of the internet) just shot up

Just "shot" up? Perfect phrasing.

Personally, I have been wacking it since I was seven (sometimes three or four times a day). I am going to have great prostrate health, since it has been 31 years since I started (you do the math).

Wacka - Wacka - Wacka. Love it.

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-16 10:28pm

Gee, now we need to establish some HEALTH MEETINGS (new word for circle jerks), where we can sit around as a group and support each other in our quest for the best of prostrate health.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-16 10:29pm

Pablo Sanchez wrote:*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.

What about heart trouble?

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-07-16 10:33pm

Admiral Johnason wrote:
Pablo Sanchez wrote:*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.
What about heart trouble?

Fool, masturbation is exercise too. Work off that cholesterol!

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-16 10:35pm

Exonerate wrote:
Admiral Johnason wrote:
Pablo Sanchez wrote:*looks at data, then combines it with STD-preventing lack of sex*

I am now officially immortal.
What about heart trouble?
Fool, masturbation is exercise too. Work off that cholesterol!

But you can only take things "so far"...