You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

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You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2019-02-16 07:29pm

Okay, this is probably the cruelest RAR I've ever come up with, but...

Tomorrow morning, by act of Q, you awaken to find yourself sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. Upon looking in the mirror, you see a very familiar, very orange face looking back at you.

Yes, you now inhabit the body of President Donald J. Trump, and retain all of his memories, as well as your own. Half the country hates you, the other half worships you with fanatical devotion, you face a divided Congress, an upcoming primary challenge, and a controversial State of Emergency your predecessor in this body just declared, Robert Mueller is investigating your administration, Putin probably has substantial Kompromat on you, and there is a not inconsiderable possibility that you will be indicted immediately upon leaving office.

What do you do? :D
"I know its easy to be defeatist here because nothing has seemingly reigned Trump in so far. But I will say this: every asshole succeeds until finally, they don't. Again, 18 months before he resigned, Nixon had a sky-high approval rating of 67%. Harvey Weinstein was winning Oscars until one day, he definitely wasn't."-John Oliver

"Trump admirers like @TuckerCarlson describe themselves as "nationalist." But their nationalism attaches not to the multiracial American nation... but to a multinational white race with a capital in Moscow"-David Frum

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2019-02-16 07:50pm

The Romulan Republic wrote:
2019-02-16 07:29pm
Okay, this is probably the cruelest RAR I've ever come up with, but...

Tomorrow morning, by act of Q, you awaken to find yourself sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. Upon looking in the mirror, you see a very familiar, very orange face looking back at you.

Yes, you now inhabit the body of President Donald J. Trump, and retain all of his memories, as well as your own. Half the country hates you, the other half worships you with fanatical devotion, you face a divided Congress, an upcoming primary challenge, and a controversial State of Emergency your predecessor in this body just declared, Robert Mueller is investigating your administration, Putin probably has substantial Kompromat on you, and there is a not inconsiderable possibility that you will be indicted immediately upon leaving office.

What do you do? :D
Tell Q to put you in his body instead of me, motherfucker.

No, seriously, Rom, I can't resign, not with Half-Pence as VP, not unless I have him bumped off(putting Nancy Pelosi in the White House) first, then resign after confessing everything, and I mean, everything live on television and the Internet, including how the elections were rigged seven ways from Sunday(which I do believe, though not through collusion with Vlad the Puto*), and, after issuing one last executive order to re-re-allocate the wall money between combatting domestic terrorism(that is to say, the alt-reich) and back to disaster relief for Cali,Texas and Puerto Rico, tell everyone what a sad sack of orange shit I've been. then, when they come to arrest my ass, plead guilty, ask for maximum security in the worst Federal hellhole possible, and end up being shanked by a fellow inmate, or assassinated by a disillusioned deplorable. A shitty death either way, but the best I can fucking do with the hand I'm dealt.

Will it stop this country's almost forty-year slide into authoritarianism? No. That shit is up to the other 300 million of us, and, so far, most of us have sat on our hands, while a loud-mouthed minority have led our nation hand in hand to hell, and I will have died a martyr to the alt-right no matter what I do, because, that's just what happens, Rom, when the best lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity, to steal a line from a better writer than myself.

*and, that's all I'm going to say on that subject, other than it is cowardly American tradition to blame foreigners, whennever we don't have the huevos to take responsibility for the wrong we do. Which is every fucking time we, the people, do wrong.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2019-02-16 08:04pm

Not to get into Trump/Russia again, but Americans being to blame and Russia being to blame are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, there's more than one guilty party. Contrary to what some seem to think, I don't think its absolving Trump's American enablers to also acknowledge Russia's role.

If I want to defend the collective integrity of the American people and nation, I'll point to the fact that most of us voted against him.

But yeah, its a shitty, shitty hand Q's dealing you here. Resigning while somehow getting rid of Pence (hopefully you'd have dirt on Pence sufficient to take him down too) is probably the only decent thing to do, from a social stand point. From a self-interest stand point- well, you're pretty much fucked unless you're prepared to continue down much the same path as Trump, at least in terms of obstructing investigations and lying your ass off.

That said, it would be fucking hilarious if one day Trump just woke up, did a 180, and started Presidenting as a radical Leftist. Probably the only thing that would get the Senate to vote to convict him...
"I know its easy to be defeatist here because nothing has seemingly reigned Trump in so far. But I will say this: every asshole succeeds until finally, they don't. Again, 18 months before he resigned, Nixon had a sky-high approval rating of 67%. Harvey Weinstein was winning Oscars until one day, he definitely wasn't."-John Oliver

"Trump admirers like @TuckerCarlson describe themselves as "nationalist." But their nationalism attaches not to the multiracial American nation... but to a multinational white race with a capital in Moscow"-David Frum

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2019-02-16 08:12pm

Question - do I go back to my own body at some point, perhaps if Trump is killed/incapacitated?

If so, find a way to get rid of Pence and whoever the Speaker is, permanently or otherwise. Then confess absolutely everything possible with as much genuine evidence as possible, then off myself on live national TV.
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2019-02-16 08:21pm

Eternal_Freedom wrote:
2019-02-16 08:12pm
Question - do I go back to my own body at some point, perhaps if Trump is killed/incapacitated?
Q will return you to your body if Trump dies a natural death, but because he's a dick, he will not allow you to off yourself. If you try, you wake up again at the moment you became Trump. :twisted:
If so, find a way to get rid of Pence and whoever the Speaker is, permanently or otherwise. Then confess absolutely everything possible with as much genuine evidence as possible, then off myself on live national TV.
Points for drama, at least.

Next in line after Pence though is Nancy Pelosi*, so if your goal is simply to get rid of the Trump administration, the Speaker isn't a problem.


*This IIRC is why I believe a simultaneous impeachment of both Trump and Pence would probably never fly no matter what the evidence was- because next in line would be Pelosi, who would have to lead any impeachment effort in the House, and thus any attempt at a double impeachment would be a conflict of interest/have the appearance of a self-serving coup to elevate Pelosi to the Presidency, no matter how justified it might otherwise be by evidence.
"I know its easy to be defeatist here because nothing has seemingly reigned Trump in so far. But I will say this: every asshole succeeds until finally, they don't. Again, 18 months before he resigned, Nixon had a sky-high approval rating of 67%. Harvey Weinstein was winning Oscars until one day, he definitely wasn't."-John Oliver

"Trump admirers like @TuckerCarlson describe themselves as "nationalist." But their nationalism attaches not to the multiracial American nation... but to a multinational white race with a capital in Moscow"-David Frum

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2019-02-16 08:32pm

The Romulan Republic wrote:
2019-02-16 08:04pm
Not to get into Trump/Russia again, but Americans being to blame and Russia being to blame are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, there's more than one guilty party. Contrary to what some seem to think, I don't think its absolving Trump's American enablers to also acknowledge Russia's role.

If I want to defend the collective integrity of the American people and nation, I'll point to the fact that most of us voted against him.
See PM. I thought it be best to discuss that there, as not to shit up this thread. But I concede your first point as being fair.
But yeah, its a shitty, shitty hand Q's dealing you here. Resigning while somehow getting rid of Pence (hopefully you'd have dirt on Pence sufficient to take him down too) is probably the only decent thing to do, from a social stand point. From a self-interest stand point- well, you're pretty much fucked unless you're prepared to continue down much the same path as Trump, at least in terms of obstructing investigations and lying your ass off.
I stated my intentions above. That's who I am as a person. Fuck Trump.

(and, on that I'm sure we both agree)
That said, it would be fucking hilarious if one day Trump just woke up, did a 180, and started Presidenting as a radical Leftist. Probably the only thing that would get the Senate to vote to convict him...
He won't get that far. Assuming Russian collusion is true, Putin would have him done away with, because that's the kind of guy he is, KGB mentality and all.*

Assuming it isn't true, the tea party faction which helped ensure and have benefitted from his election will have him done away with, in all likelihood, setting the Federal judiciary on him, and either have him sent to the worst maximum security hellhole in the Federal system, to Gitmo, or rendered to a friendly authoritarian dictatorship, and, regardless, have him done away with while incarcerated.

Or, he is assassinated by a disillusioned deplorable or similar far-right nutter.

Regardless of how he is killed, he will be vilified as an undercover leftist—never neglecting, for a second, to point out his friendships with key Democrats, including Bill Clinton—for a while, as they use him to justify the agenda they and folks like you and me(well, maybe not you and I, but you know what I mean)wanted to ramrod up the asses of the American people(and, from there, the world)the entire time, before the passage of time rehabilitates him and makes him a martyr. Cases in point being Richard Nixon and Josef Stalin.

*He's just less subtle than your average KGB officer, who would make it look like it wasn't them who did the deed. Putin just offers some lame-ass denial, because he just doesn't give a damn.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by Eternal_Freedom » 2019-02-16 08:36pm

So we only get out of this nightmare when Trump dies a natural death? Can we define that please? Would, say, attempting to "get fit" and giving me a heart attack while swimming count as "natural"?
Baltar: "I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction!"
Centurion: "Sir, I really think you should look at the other Battlestar."
Baltar: "What are you babbling about other...it's impossible!"
Centurion: "No. It is a Battlestar."

Corrax Entry 7:17: So you walk eternally through the shadow realms, standing against evil where all others falter. May your thirst for retribution never quench, may the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2019-02-16 08:37pm

Eternal_Freedom wrote:
2019-02-16 08:12pm
Question - do I go back to my own body at some point, perhaps if Trump is killed/incapacitated?

If so, find a way to get rid of Pence and whoever the Speaker is, permanently or otherwise. Then confess absolutely everything possible with as much genuine evidence as possible, then off myself on live national TV.
Nancy Pelosi is the current Speaker of the House. While Rom appears to have some issues with her, I have little problem with her assuming the Presidency. Especially, when the next two in line for the job are Grassley(as president pro tem of the Senate) and Mike Pompeo(as Secretary of State). To say nothing of the unappointed, unconfirmed officials in "acting" Cabinet positions.
Last edited by U.P. Cinnabar on 2019-02-16 08:43pm, edited 2 times in total.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2019-02-16 08:39pm

Reg. natural death: No direct violence. Doing more and more risky shit in the hopes that it will lead to an accident will be allowed, as it will amuse Q. :wink:

Reg. actions: I mean, yeah, your only option here ethically speaking is to resign while incriminating as many accomplices down with you as you can. Even without the collusion thing, Trump's Presidency is so tainted by various legal and ethical violations (not to mention shear incompetence) that even if he adopted every single policy I support, he'd still have to go.

Sucks that that means I'd probably go down for another man's crimes, in this scenario, but if its for the good of the country...

Reg. Pelosi: I disliked her as a Centrist compromiser, though her sudden development of backbone during the shutdown made up for a lot. But I'd take her as President in a heartbeat over what we have now.
"I know its easy to be defeatist here because nothing has seemingly reigned Trump in so far. But I will say this: every asshole succeeds until finally, they don't. Again, 18 months before he resigned, Nixon had a sky-high approval rating of 67%. Harvey Weinstein was winning Oscars until one day, he definitely wasn't."-John Oliver

"Trump admirers like @TuckerCarlson describe themselves as "nationalist." But their nationalism attaches not to the multiracial American nation... but to a multinational white race with a capital in Moscow"-David Frum

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2019-02-16 08:44pm

The Romulan Republic wrote:*This IIRC is why I believe a simultaneous impeachment of both Trump and Pence would probably never fly no matter what the evidence was- because next in line would be Pelosi, who would have to lead any impeachment effort in the House, and thus any attempt at a double impeachment would be a conflict of interest/have the appearance of a self-serving coup to elevate Pelosi to the Presidency, no matter how justified it might otherwise be by evidence.
Pelosi wouldn't preside over a double impeachment. Her designated speaker pro tem would.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by U.P. Cinnabar » 2019-02-16 08:47pm

Eternal_Freedom wrote:
2019-02-16 08:36pm
So we only get out of this nightmare when Trump dies a natural death? Can we define that please? Would, say, attempting to "get fit" and giving me a heart attack while swimming count as "natural"?
You could do something which will get you murdered, such as a face-heel turn.

Q can't read your mind. At least that's not been demonstrated in any of the TNG series.
"Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone amongst God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of Death.."
—29th Scroll, 6th Verse of Ape Law
"Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.”
---Doctor Christine Blasey-Ford

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by Solauren » 2019-02-16 08:54pm

Really, it depends on the knowledge I now find myself in possession of.

IDEALLY, I'd.....

#1 - Dump as much of Trumps money into secret real world bank stuff as possible, and then mail my real-self the info. Possibly make my real self my sole heir.
#2 - Write everything out that Trump as ever done illegally, or knows others have done.
#3 - Declassify a shitload of stuff, and have it released un-redacted.
#3 - Confess to some of it on live TV, and then off 'the orange body'.
#4 - Wake up in my own body again, now rich, rich, rich.

Screw the US governments shit over, make and make myself rich in the process. (Sorta like Trump is doing!)

However, if that is not an option, I'd have to consider what I know, and what I can now do.
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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by FaxModem1 » 2019-02-17 07:28am

Declare a state of emergency regarding a fictional asteroid, saying that due to God's punishment for our ways, we are going to tax God's house, and revoke all tax exemptions for places of worship, as well as all mortgage brokers and stock exchanges. All such funding shall go to NASA to stop global warming, fund ark spaceships for future colonization, and sending my gay lover Mike Pence to Mars with me.

I figure, best case scenario, the Trump administration gets taken down while NASA gets funding. Worst case scenario, I get committed or killed for basically trying to cut the legs out of my support base while funding science.
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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by Tribble » 2019-02-17 09:33am

Problem here is that Trump is a symptom but not the disease. A good chunk of the American population really do seem to want a Christofascist state, and nothing my hypothetical Trump does or confesses to is going to change that. If anything, they are likely to see it as either some kind of conspiracy by the left and/or a sign of weakness, with Trump not being "conservative enough".
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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by The Romulan Republic » 2019-02-23 01:38am

True.

The best you could do would be to try to bring the whole thing down so thoroughly that that movement is discredited and marginalized for the next few decades as far as moderates and independents are concerned. They'd probably turn increasingly to violence, but at least they wouldn't have the power of the State at their disposal when they do.
"I know its easy to be defeatist here because nothing has seemingly reigned Trump in so far. But I will say this: every asshole succeeds until finally, they don't. Again, 18 months before he resigned, Nixon had a sky-high approval rating of 67%. Harvey Weinstein was winning Oscars until one day, he definitely wasn't."-John Oliver

"Trump admirers like @TuckerCarlson describe themselves as "nationalist." But their nationalism attaches not to the multiracial American nation... but to a multinational white race with a capital in Moscow"-David Frum

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Re: You Are Donald Trump (RAR).

Post by Solauren » 2019-02-23 11:40am

Since I'm assuming on my 'second run' as Trump (after my first post which included offing the OrangeBody)....


In addition to my using the OrangeBody to put as much of it's former owners money into my realbody (and therefore my when I get out of this) hands, and writing a massive 'tell all' to expose everyone and everything I know that's been done illegally..

I'd attempt to pass Executive Orders and laws, that were worded to appeal to his base, but really accomplished very Socalist goals.

i.e
Make online recruitment by terrorist organizations seem like a maassive threat to US security.
"They pray on the uneducated, and the mentally unwell. They pray on people with debt, usually from health care costs. We need to fix that, or the terrorist win."

This would be followed by Federalizing education (making it much harder for religious idiots to influence anything), standardizing it, and increased avialability to it to fight 'Terrorist recruitment'. Then pass a proper health care system, by hiding it in a 'mental heath defense' bill.

Massive Education Reform, Massive Health Care reform, and anyone that apposes it 'clearly wants the Terrorists to win'.

Repeat for Gun Control, Police Reform, and other things. All framed to be fighting Terrorists, Unfair Trade polices, etc.
\

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