Invader Zim invades Equestria

[Zor]

In this scenario, the events of The Madness Begins unfold as normally up until Zim finds the planet. Instead of Earth, he finds Equestria, landing in ponyville. He manages to avoid detection as he arrives and sets up base without detection.

What happens? (Besides the inevitable Pinkie Pie welcome party)

Zor

[Crossroads Inc.]

You are a sick man Zor, you know that?
I mean Zim... ZIM in Equestria??? Dear Clestia can you imagine the havoc wrought by Gir alone? <shudders>

[KhorneFlakes]

I predict that GIR wrecks all form of major settlement on Equestria within a year, and that the ponies are "repurposed" by the Irkens to serve as snack pinatas.

[SpaceMarine93]

You just have to ask the question, do you?

Zim would probably have less chance of success in Ponyville then on Earth. Twilight Sparkle would probably spot him and recognize the threat he posed (if any) quickly, and since unlike the paranoid conspiracy theorist socially awkward Dib, Twilight is a bearer of the Elements of Harmony who is also the student of the world's physical Sun goddess, who overcame her own social awkwardness and is well known as a hero who saved Equestria twice, so she would have a quicker and easier time convincing others that Zim is a disguised alien and vanguard of an invasion fleet. She and her friends would easily foil every plan Zim executes.

Meanwhile, chances are, like on Earth, Zim would probably go native very quickly and fail in just about every attempt at taking over, since he's just that incompetent.

Of course, if he decides to screw it and call in the Irken military forces to bring about their trait-mark Organic Sweep immediately, expect a stand-up fight.

Equestria:

Magic

Ponies are shown to have a large number of capabilities, most importantly magic. While exactly how powerful they are are not stated, we could confidently know that they care capable of:

- Telekinesis (Every episode with Twilight and other Unicorns, Regal Sisters have this capability on planetary to stellar scales "Elements of Harmony" "Cutie Mark Chronicles")

- Magical Shields (Unicorns only, "Return of Harmony Pt 2")

- Mind control / Memory alteration (Mostly unicorns, "Return of Harmony pt 2" in form of memory spell, "Lesson Zero" in form of charm, "Hearts and Hooves" in form of a Love poison)

- Teleportation (Unicorns and Alicorns, especially Twilight and Celestia in "Lesson Zero")

- Weather control (Pegasi and Alicorns, "Sonic Rainboom" "Luna Eclipsed")

- Localized reality reset (Twilight's 'Failsafe Spell' from "Return of Harmony pt 1", failed)

- Animal Control (implied capability of land-and-nature attuned Earth Ponies, Fluttershy the pegasi could do so as well by her status of being embodiment of kindness and her Stare "Stare Master")

- Arcano-Bioengineering (Twilight tries modifying the Parasprites in "Swarm of the Century" with magic, only to turn them from a horde of locusts to a horde of devourers capable of destroying entire cities)

- ELEMENTS OF HARMONY (Most powerful Ponykind magic avaliable, capable of defeating gods [Nightmare Moon "Elements of Harmony" and Discord "Return of Harmony pt 2"] and restore reality [Discord's warping in "ROH pt 2"])

- Extreme durability and strength (Staple of Earth Ponies. Rainbow Dash the pegasi had shown to smash through solid rocks and trees without a scratch)

- Illusion magic (So far the Alicorns, if what Nightmare Moon does to those trees in the forest during "Elements of Harmony" is any indication)

Pegasi are shown to be the most aggressive and militaristic of the three tribes of ponies. Most of the Royal Guards are Pegasi. Rainbow Dash alone had shown to be capable of:

- Flying Mach 10 (Watch explanation in Death Battle "Rainbow Dash VS G1 Starscream", Youtube)

- Highly maneuverable.

- Create tornadoes and storm clouds ("Elements of Harmony" "Swarm of the Century")

- Extremely durable (Shown capable of smashing through solid rock. Combined with extreme speed, could upon impact with the ground)

- Sonic Rainboom (A shockwave capable of breaking mountain tops, jump-start and boost magic in Unicorns, and shattering the visible light spectrum)

If we throw in the other species (many of them sentient), expect among others:

- Dragons (Strength and size increase with age and greed. Very deadly. Huge firepower implied with smoke one dragon generate while sleeping capable of enveloping the entirety of Equestria for a century)

- Manticores (Vicious predators)

- Griffons (Gilda's interaction with Rainbow Dash implies they have similar powers with pegasi)

- Cockatrice (Stare could turn other creatures to stone, reversible only by them)

- Parasprites (Most dangerous. Capable of stripping lands clean of food and implied every living thing. If modified could destroy entire cities. Multiplies very rapidly. Essentially organic nanomachines on steroids)

- Zebras (Voodoo magic)

- Diamond Dogs (Strong, rough infantry with at least Iron-Age level tech and obsession with gemstones)

- Minotaurs

Irkens:

An aggressive interstellar civilization with a society based on height. According to Invader Zim wikia, they have:

Technology:

- Faster than Light Travel: Irken to Earth journey takes only six montsh. They also have faster than light communications.

- Teleportation: They do have ring teleporters

- Reactionless Drives: Their ships are never show with thrusters

- Advanced Robotics and Cybernetics: Many of their droids and computers are sentient, capable of many tasks. Each invader equipped with an SIR robot, which help gather information on their master's assigned planet, capable of disguise, navigation, combat and thermos. Have military mechs. Computers are sentient but have poor information gather capacity (Zim's computer told Zim that the FBI are founded by demons in one episode)

- Advanced Life-support: The PAK is a tool attatched to each Irken's spine seconds after birth. Main weakness: An Irken can only survive up to ten minutes without its PAK. The small, backpack-like piece of equipment holds an Irken's memories, although Irkens still have brains. PAKs also hold a number of tools, such as spider legs, a communication devive, an organ - stealing contraption, etc. Spacesuit mode has jetpacks.

- Stealth technology: Have technology that could render them invisible or disguise their appearances. Imperfect due to it being the product of another race who seemed to bore them a grudge.

- Advance data transfer: To the point that as soon as an Irken infant comes out of a cloning pod they could have their entirety of their racial knowledge downloaded into their brains. They are expected to report for duty as soon as they stand up.

- Cloning: Their main means of reproduction. This combined with their advance data transfer technology gives them a huge reinforcement production capacity.

- Energy Weapons: Staple means of attack for the Irkens. Energy weapons include laser beams, energy orbs (which seemed to stand in for missiles) and plasma weapons

- Gravitation Manipulation: Have artificial gravity on their ships. Plus tractor beams.

Military - Ground:

- Guards: apparently elite guardians of the Irken leaders, also highly unprofessional and incompetent

- Invaders: Trump card of the Irken military force - an elite corps of infiltrators who would infiltrate a target world's society and launch a campaign of reconnaissance, subversion, sabotage and other activities to weaken its defenses before the main invasion force. Any one Invader could bring down an entire planet (except for Zim).

- Maimbot: The Maimbot seems to be one of the staples of the Irken military. Capabilities not shown in series, but as name implies the robots kills and maims their targets.

- Frontline Battle Mech/BattleMech 4: a massive war robot that requires multiple pilots to function. Have enough destructive potential to devastate an entire planet by itself, as shown when Zim once tries to pilot one by himself, destroying much of his homeworld by accident in the resulting rampage.

- Megadoomer X-3 Combat Stealth Mech: A single-pilot military robot, most notable for its capability to cloak itself, which is ultimately flawed (it won't cloak the pilot). Has a Doom Cannon as its main armament as well as artillery weapons.

- Plasma-Armed Battle Tank: Nothing else is known other then the fact that it is a battle tank that shoots plasma as its main offensive weapon

- Death Wave Cannon: Dangerous energy weapon, nothing else known.

Military - Naval:

- Voot Cruiser: outdated vessel replaced by Spittle Runner, and Zim's ship. Extremely fast - capable of flying out of the Solar System in minutes. Armament: twin pulse laser beams, same cannons can also fire energy orbs, as well as two tractor beams.

- Spittle Runner: the smallest and most fragile of Irken vehicles. They are the most commonly seen spaceships. Despite their small size, they move extremely quickly. Armament: being a replacement of the Voot Cruiser, exactly the same.

- Shuuver: the vessel responsible for Organic Sweep (total annihilation of target world's life forms and structures). Has a powerful laser weapon that could, when working with a fleet of other Shuuvers, carve the Irken insignia on a planet surface.

- Ring Cutter: Not much is known. This is an uncommon but extremely powerful spacecraft. Armament: lasers

- Ripper: Unlike most other Irken vessels, this spaceship has no visible screen, so it is unknown how its pilot or pilots can see. Not much is known, but implied to be quite powerful

- The Massive: Irken Mothership number 1. Used by Almighty Tallests, the leaders of the Irken Empire, to travel around. Main armament is a giant particle beam weapon known as the Bridge Cannon. Exact power unknown, but presumed to be enough to do an Organic Sweep. Main physical weakness: the side pods are silos filled with the Almighty Tallest's snack foods. An additional weakness is witnessed in its vulnerability to long distance hacking and hijacking.

- Viral Tank: Irken Mothership number 2. Nothing known. Just as big as The Massive.


If Zim decides to call in the Irkens Armada to invade Equestria, I would say they would win, but only after much effort, perhaps so much that it probably wasn't worth it.

The Regal Sisters could had easily thrown the entire Armada into the Sun with their powers, though chances are they won't, being very pacifistic.

The Irken Armada would probably be unable to perform an Organic Sweep orbital bombardment due to Ponykind's capability to cast magical shields. With all the Unicorns and Alicorns around, along with the Elements of Harmony, they could easily boost it enough to cover the entire planet.

Any Irken ground forces would probably have a hard time at best, slaughtered at worst, against an opponent that could control the weather, advance telekinesis, could outmanuvor them with natural teleportation capability, magic shields, mind-control and turn their weapons against them. The Irken guards would be slaughtered by the Earth Ponies, Pegasi, Manticores and Cockatrice alone. Mechs would have to deal with the dragons. If the Ponies bring out the modified Parasprite it will be all over for them.

On the other hand, the Irken vessels could had easily out-fly and out-manuvouer the Pegasi and Griffons, and bring a massive level of whop ass with superior firepower. If the Irkens win Air superiority they would probably win the entire campagin

Elements of Harmony would probably be useless in this situation. They are geared specifically to deal with singular extremely powerful opponents (gods, eldritch abominations). I doubt they would work well against masses of normal foes. However, since they are powerful Pony magic I assume they could be used to say, as a magical boost to the magic-using ponies in Equestria.

Of course, if the Irkens do win, the Ponies, just before being wiped out, could still get back at them: By releasing Discord. It would had been the perfect scorch-earth policy, a final 'screw you' to any victorious Irken forces. Given what Discord could do, if it is released, EVERYBODY loses.

As for GIR... yeah, let's not talk about just how much havoc that robot could do.

It won't come to that, of course - going back to Zim, in the end, I highly doubt he would be any more successful in Equestria then on Earth

[Rossum]

Ponyville also has access to bees, which are apparently kryptonite to Irkin technology.

As for releasing Discord, this could actually be done before it becomes a last resort. The Irkins like candy and would probably turn Equestria into a candy planet anyway. Put Discord in control of the planet and he could make it too difficult for the Irkins to invade but still be able to export chocolate milk. He'd be in control just like he was before Celestia (which was uncomfortable but survivable), he could persuade the Irkins to leave the planet alone in exchange for candy, and it's quite possible he'd find a way to brainwash and wreck chaos on the Irkin Empire.

Actually, releasing Discord during an alien invasion risks letting him escape into the universe at large if he can't do that already. Not sure if any pony would risk that over just surrendering to the Irkins and making candy for them. Course, if the Irkins run things they'd probably unleash Discord anyway.

Really, the way I see it, Equestrias best bet is to try some kind of diplomatic solution and/or just bribe the Tallest into leaving them alone for the most part. Ponies then find a way to integrate into the galactic culture (in the Fry Cook episode there were aliens who could mock Zim because he was a lowly fry cook, so there are places in Irkin civilization where non-Irkins can get decent status).

So, Equestria by itself doesn't stand much of a chance of single-hoofidly thwarting the Irkin Empire (at least not officially). But with diplomacy and some decent planning they coyld keep Equestria from getting paved over, somehow keep Discord imprisoned (maybe hide him in an asteroid?), and potentially help out the Resisty by sending out talented ponies or others to help them while keeping Equestria blameless.

[SpaceMarine93]

Ponyville also has access to bees, which are apparently kryptonite to Irkin technology.

As for releasing Discord, this could actually be done before it becomes a last resort. The Irkins like candy and would probably turn Equestria into a candy planet anyway. Put Discord in control of the planet and he could make it too difficult for the Irkins to invade but still be able to export chocolate milk. He'd be in control just like he was before Celestia (which was uncomfortable but survivable), he could persuade the Irkins to leave the planet alone in exchange for candy, and it's quite possible he'd find a way to brainwash and wreck chaos on the Irkin Empire.

Actually, releasing Discord during an alien invasion risks letting him escape into the universe at large if he can't do that already. Not sure if any pony would risk that over just surrendering to the Irkins and making candy for them. Course, if the Irkins run things they'd probably unleash Discord anyway.

Really, the way I see it, Equestrias best bet is to try some kind of diplomatic solution and/or just bribe the Tallest into leaving them alone for the most part. Ponies then find a way to integrate into the galactic culture (in the Fry Cook episode there were aliens who could mock Zim because he was a lowly fry cook, so there are places in Irkin civilization where non-Irkins can get decent status).

So, Equestria by itself doesn't stand much of a chance of single-hoofidly thwarting the Irkin Empire (at least not officially). But with diplomacy and some decent planning they coyld keep Equestria from getting paved over, somehow keep Discord imprisoned (maybe hide him in an asteroid?), and potentially help out the Resisty by sending out talented ponies or others to help them while keeping Equestria blameless.

Nope. Diplomacy is not an option as it is stated that the Irkens believe they are superior to all other lifeforms. The Organic Sweep is just a way for them to show it in a form of a laser-based Exterminatus. The Ponies have nothing to bargain with.

Are you suggesting that a senseless nightmarish existence as a chaos spirits' playthings is a better alternative than extinction under the Irkens? Discord should really be kept as last resort. If Ponykind dies out, there's really no point in them not keeping that eldritch abomination out.

Who knows, maybe it could be kept as a weapon of deterrence - stay out or we release it at everybody's expense. Assuming of course the Irkens even believe them.

I would say the best chance Equestria has in surviving an Irken invasion either rests in Twilight being able to thwart Zim as soon as possible, or if she missed, the Regal Sisters throwing the entire armada into the Sun. After such a catastrophic shock, I doubt they would come back for another go. Invader Zim would definitely get left behind, of course.

I don't know anything about bees to be honest.

[Rossum]

I don't know anything about bees to be honest.

Starts somewhere around 1:15 (link if embedding is blocked)

[avatarxprime]

The Regal Sisters could had easily thrown the entire Armada into the Sun with their powers, though chances are they won't, being very pacifistic.

Bah, the Massive can plow through a star and suffer minimal damage (if any really, it only looked like the exterior shell was hot) as well as literally go "Hulk Smash" on a planet and come out little worse for the wear. The smaller ships in the armada might get wasted, but the Massive will certainly still be up and about.

As for GIR... yeah, let's not talk about just how much havoc that robot could do.

Having spent a bit of time going through the MLP threads I think it can safely be assumed that GIR and Pinkie Pie become bestest best friends and go on a reality warping, snack eating, destruction causing trip that would make Discord smile.

Ponyville also has access to bees, which are apparently kryptonite to Irkin technology.

I think that's more a Zim luck kinda thing, not actually how things would go. Keep in mind, the Voot Cruiser is an Irken delivery vehicle after all.

Really, the way I see it, Equestrias best bet is to try some kind of diplomatic solution and/or just bribe the Tallest into leaving them alone for the most part. Ponies then find a way to integrate into the galactic culture (in the Fry Cook episode there were aliens who could mock Zim because he was a lowly fry cook, so there are places in Irkin civilization where non-Irkins can get decent status).

Like SM93 said, diplomacy is not an option. The Irkens don't negotiate, they conquer and then tell you what they want in case you actually have something of worth to them. As to the Fry Cook thing, that's cause it was Foodcourtia, the Food Court planet (possibly resulting from Operation Impending Doom I, before Zim ruined it). It was set up by the Irkens to act as a food court to the entire Universe (or at least all those sentients in the neighboring area) and thus, any Irkens employed their would not be conferred any special status, especially seeing as how Zim was sent there as part of banishment. Sizz-lor was likely deemed defective by the Control Brain or at least not fit for Military duty and got shipped off to Foodcourtia as a result.

Given that stupid level of power that the Irkens have, it'd have to give this scenario to them. That being said, the easy out would be for the ponies to figure out/find out that Irken society is based on having the tall lead and then using the illusion magic SM93 mentioned (mind control magic is likely to fail due to Irken PAK technology) to convince the Irkens that they are in fact Irkens and are taller than the Almighty Tallest.

[SpaceMarine93]

Defense strategy:

1) Neutralize Zim, interrogate everything about the Irken military forces.

2) Regal Sisters throw the entire Irken armada into the Sun

3) If The Massive emerges unscathed, teleport modified Paraprites into the ship.

4) Explain to the remnants they have a secret weapon (Discord, but not telling them what it is). and threaten to release it in their direction should they return.

5) As suggested secretly use illusion magic to confuse the Irkens about who's tallest and start a civil war.

6) Sit back and watch the fireworks.

[Rossum]

I suppose they could also defeat Zim, brainwash him into taking them to the Irken Empire, and then cast a Want it Need it spell on various things to cause havok. Impending Doom 1 was thwarted by Zim going on a rampage in one robot on their own planet, if they just find a way to confuse more Irken soldiers then then it could cripple their war effort again.

Or slip some Love Poison to the Tallest so they become all googly-eyed at eachother and can't run the Empire. Slip more Love Poison to everyone else with any rank and then toss around Want it Need it objects to cause havok on any Irkens who might be able to pull the love poisoned ones apart. Somehow disable the Control Brains and set up Want it Need it objects to prevent anyone from repairing whatever got broken.

Also, the Massive can be remote-hacked so that it is put under remote control. Ponyville can't really be expected to know about this or make use of it without Zim and his technology but its and option. Just remote control the Massive and as long as you can get rid of anyone who would teleport the engine out you've got a huge ship you can slam into planets.

[avatarxprime]

Defense strategy:

1) Neutralize Zim, interrogate everything about the Irken military forces.

This is Zim we're talking about, they won't learn much if anything. His crazy is so intense that it apparently short circuited the Control Brain and kept Zim from being killed off for being defective when he was a kid.

2) Regal Sisters throw the entire Irken armada into the Sun

3) If The Massive emerges unscathed, teleport modified Paraprites into the ship.

It will, the Massive had already been driven through various celestial bodies (while under attack by the Resisty ship) by the time it went through the star and it was still mostly OK. Really, it wasn't until Gir started driving that the Massive really started taking damage. The Tallest will also be quite angry when they come out and will immediately go with orbital bombardment. As to whether any other armada ships survive, I can't say.

4) Explain to the remnants they have a secret weapon (Discord, but not telling them what it is). and threaten to release it in their direction should they return.

Good luck doing so while getting bombarded from orbit. Beside, the Irken aren't the kind to back off when you give them vague threats. They are running a successful campaign to conquer the known universe after all.

5) As suggested secretly use illusion magic to confuse the Irkens about who's tallest and start a civil war.

6) Sit back and watch the fireworks.

Could potentially work, could not. I know I'm the one who brought it up, but that was in reference to the ponies using it to fool the Irkens, not to use it on the Irkens themselves. The Irkens do have holodeck technology and imaging devices stored in all of their PAKs that can likely see through such illusions.

Seriously though, the armada is never going to show. The OP clearly specified it's Zim that got sent, that means the Tallest will only ever show up when they have completed Operation Impending Doom II and decide it's time to eliminate Zim with the Earth, or in this case Equestria, being little more than collateral damage. The ponies only need worry about Zim, and in the end he's pretty easy to deal with if Dib has sufficient resources to foil Zim, I'm sure the ponies can too based on the kind of power you stated they have access to.

[Steve]

VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM!