Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

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Akhlut
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Akhlut »

Terralthra wrote:It's amazingly hypocritical to punish a child (purportedly) for "airing family business in public" by airing punishment in public. If, on the other hand, the father is punishing the child because he got his feelings hurt by her whiny note, then making a video destroying something of hers and posting it in public is a great (petty) way to humiliate her and enact some petulant vengeance. In fact, it seems reasonable to me to assume she is spoiled and petulant because her father models that behavior marvelously.
1. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

2. It wasn't her computer, it was her father's. Perhaps she should have understood that before being an idiot.

Terralthra wrote:It's not on me to prove your case for you. You are the one saying there's harm inherent in her making whiny posts, but when asked to show this harm, you respond by saying that the harm is "that she thinks it's ok to behave badly." That's a textbook example of begging the question: to assume the conclusion of your argument as a premise. The burden is on the person claiming harm to show it.
Disrespecting the people who have voluntarily cared for you for a decade and a half isn't an example of poor behavior? Especially since this is at least the second instance of such behavior (he grounded her for three months prior to this instance, as I recall, leading me to strongly suspect that the prior time wasn't the first instance, either) and she apparently takes all the high-tech gadgetry she receives for granted and as being necessities like room and board as opposed to privileges that can be revoked at will.

There's also the matter that if she were at a job and saying that sort of shit on Facebook and her boss found out, she would be fired instantly. So, she's learning a valuable life-lesson: don't say shit on the internet that can come back later to bite you in the ass in a major way.

Terralthra wrote:You don't actually know the circumstances nor the punishment of the previous incident, only that she was apparently punished before for doing something bad before. The father doesn't relay any specifics.
This also isn't a criminal trial, for one. Two, it was in the quasi-press release from the dad that he has punished his daughter multiple times for similar behavior.
Darth Fanboy wrote:Really? She sees that someone else is doing cleaning work in exchange for compensation, and bitches because she is also doing cleaning work and doesn't see herself getting compensated.
She's getting/using free technology that costs hundreds of dollars. The dad just upgraded the computer significantly prior to her whiny post. She was getting compensated quite nicely for her rather small set of chores (clean up after yourself, occasionally get a coffee for your father who has graciously given you 4 phones in the not so recent past). She may not have outright owned the laptop or the phones, but she was getting free, unlimited use out of them, too. It was basically a free rental of such devices.
The appropriate thing to do is to show her the compensation she does receive and takes for granted, or take action which emphasizes that. Yes, taking away a privilege (like internet access) is certainly one way to go about it,
He's done that multiple times.
but posting a public video about it is unnecessary, destroying her laptop is over the top at best, and doing both is needlessly cruel, vengeful rather than just, and actively passes on bad lessons.
Wasn't her laptop, for one. For two, he was making a point that now she wasn't going to be getting free, unlimited access to a privilege anymore. She's living with the consequences of not thinking that she was getting it pretty good for what she had.



Terralthra wrote:Losing a privilege would be taking the computer away. He didn't. He recorded a video of needlessly destroying it, then posted it online to humiliate her in front of friends, family, and anyone with the link (since the video he posted was not "friends only"). Pretending that all those other things didn't happen or have no impact is dishonest.
So, how is destroying it not taking it away from her?

Also, he emphatically posted it as not friends only so that the parents of his daughter's friends would see what sort of shit their children are likely doing too. Otherwise, how was he to predict it'd turn into a YouTube hit? Even professional marketers can't predict what the hell will do that and what won't (hey, I can find other videos of guys shooting computers with under 1,000 views, why should this guy have expected his video to go viral when the vast majority of youtube videos never receive more than a handful of views?).

Further, the father himself is the one dealing with most of the heat from the video, not the daughter. He mentions that in his press-release (and he also happens to mention how he's using this experience to show her how you can't close Pandora's box on the internet).
Terralthra wrote:If it means nothing, why do it, record it, and post that video online? Clearly it meant something to both her and her father, or he wouldn't have done it. My position is that he shot it and posted a video because it made him feel better and her feel worse, and has little to do with any effective or reasonable punitive motivation.
Assumes evidence not in the record. :P You have no way of knowing the workings inside their head and only know what he has said through the video and the press-release, both of which basically state that the daughter has repeatedly done shit she wasn't supposed to do and that he was going to permanently eliminate the computer. The press-release also states that the punishment was effective enough that she won't be disrespectful of her parents again and that she understands her actions have consequences.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Terralthra »

Too busy with grad seminars to respond to this immediately. I'll probably get around to it this weekend.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Todeswind »

Dread Not wrote:
Destructionator XIII wrote:There's more reasons than profit to restrict duplication. He might not want something to become a further embarrassment down the line, or for people to misattribute an impersonation to him (he's said a few times about how he doesn't want the words to be edited or changed).
If he's in IT he should know that trying to suppress this is futile. It still smells like bullshit.
He doesn't have to suppress it, but it behooves him to take efforts to stop other people from profiting off of it.
Destructionator XIII wrote:Children are a lot more important than gadgets.
Um, and? Do you not get that he looks like a complete douchebag by needlessly flushing hundreds of dollars down the toilet in an effort to teach his daughter to appreciate her good fortune? "Son, I'm going to teach you the value of money, since you don't really appreciate it. To do this I'm going to toss your allowance off of this bridge. Now maybe you'll see how important it is to not frivolously throw money away."
The kid was being repeatedly disobedient. Confiscating the computer in the short term had been used on her already. The next logical step is removing computer privileges entirely. Repeated disobedience requires escalating levels of punishment to correct the behavior. Obviously this has limits but functionally shooting the computer on video and giving away the laptop to charity on video ( which would have been my choice) are the same.

The father had every right to confiscate the computer and every right to shoot it, smash it with a hammer, run over it with a car or burn it if he so wished. Confiscating a child's property only has value as a punishment if the child believes that there is a chance the privilege of a phone / computer / whatever might be permanent.

His goal wasn't "look like a perfect guy," it was "be a good parent."
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Darth Wong »

Aaaaand how many of the people giving their expert parenting advice in this thread actually have kids. Of those, how many have teenaged kids?
Todeswind wrote:His goal wasn't "look like a perfect guy," it was "be a good parent."
The guy is a shitty parent. If he was a good parent, then his daughter wouldn't have become such a fucking brat in the first place. His type of parent is not unusual; they alternately ignore, spoil, and clamp down on their kids. How do you think a kid ends up being like that in the first place? It's a classic pattern: the guy doesn't pay enough attention to his kid. He isn't a comic-book ogre; he just doesn't put in the time and effort to raise a kid well. So he tries to compensate for this by being extra-nice to her when he does take the time to be with her, not realizing that he's just spoiling her. And when she acts like a brat, he gets angry and lashes out in some stupid way.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by FSTargetDrone »

Sorry if I missed this somewhere in the last few pages, but it seems this clown has lied about what the police said to him (the so-called praise and congratulations concerning his parenting style):
Police Say Albemarle Man Who Shot Daughter's Laptop Didn't Break Laws

1:58 PM, Feb 14, 2012

Albemarle, NC -- The calls started coming to Albemarle police since a video of a Stanly County man shooting a laptop went viral last week.

The video, posted on YouTube, shows Tommy Jordan shooting his daughter's computer after finding a facebook post in which she complained about her chores.

"Some people saying 'finally a parent's doing something to take, take control' and then on the other side, you have people saying 'absolutely not, this is crossing the line," said Albemarle Police Chief William Halliburton.

Some have demanded that police take action.

In one letter to the city, a person wrote, 'if that is against the law, suggest you enforce it and post his arrest on Youtube and Facebook.'

Turns out, it is against the law to shoot a gun in Albemarle, but Jordan lives outside of city limits and in Stanly County, there is no such law.

On Facebook, Jordan wrote of police, 'of course they came out. They received enough of 'oh my god he's going to kill his daughter' comments, that they had to.'

Jordan also wrote, 'Police by the way said kudos sir and most of them had their kids watch it. I actually had a thank you from an entire detective squad."

"No officers from our department went out there to speak with him," said Halliburton.

Albemarle police and Stanly County deputies deny that they applauded Jordan for his actions as he claimed.

Jordan is not speaking to the media about the video.

CNN, WSOC
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Todeswind »

Actually I am astonished that the cops didn't visit him based on the volume of complaints that they must be getting. Them not having sent someone to check on things is more alarming to me than the video is.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Darth Wong »

Todeswind wrote:Actually I am astonished that the cops didn't visit him based on the volume of complaints that they must be getting. Them not having sent someone to check on things is more alarming to me than the video is.
Why? Police officers don't harass someone just because a lot of people think he's an asshole. They need an emergency call, or a credible reason to suspect that a crime has taken place.

PS. Colour me shocked that this idiot lied during his public-relations offensive.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Todeswind »

If someone tells me ( or I believe) that one of my students is being of abused I'm morally and professionally obligated to report it to my vice principal ( who will in turn report it to the principal) and keep track of any signs in case we need to take further action. If someone were to call in and report to me that someone had threatened one of my students with a firearm or that they were afraid that a parent were going to permanent physical harm to one of my students action would be taken. I'm not sure what actions specifically, I've never had that situation come up, but "nothing" would not be the response.

With international exposure and what I can only presume is hundreds of people calling the Albermale police should get some sort of a response even if it is just a "we received a complaint about x " visit. Complaints of excessive noise receive at least that much response.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Kamakazie Sith »

Todeswind wrote:If someone tells me ( or I believe) that one of my students is being of abused I'm morally and professionally obligated to report it to my vice principal ( who will in turn report it to the principal) and keep track of any signs in case we need to take further action. If someone were to call in and report to me that someone had threatened one of my students with a firearm or that they were afraid that a parent were going to permanent physical harm to one of my students action would be taken. I'm not sure what actions specifically, I've never had that situation come up, but "nothing" would not be the response.
I'm sure hundreds of people did call and say "There's a video online of this father threatening his daughter with a firearm" and other exaggerations. The police likely have viewed it and dismissed it because he never threatened his daughter with a firearm and he did not do anything illegal.
With international exposure and what I can only presume is hundreds of people calling the Albermale police should get some sort of a response even if it is just a "we received a complaint about x " visit. Complaints of excessive noise receive at least that much response.
That's because excessive noise is considered disturbing the peace in most cities and is a violation of noise ordinance. The police likely did view the video and found nothing illegal. So, no a response is not necessary.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Dread Not »

Todeswind wrote:He doesn't have to suppress it, but it behooves him to take efforts to stop other people from profiting off of it.
Why should he care if others are profiting from it? I can see why someone wouldn't want their exposure spiraling out of control, but that's a separate issue, not to mention it's a little late for that, especially since he hasn't stopped fanning the flames of fame on his facebook page. What's the difference if Tosh.O covers it gratis or at a profit? As long as he stays within the confines of fair use he is legally permitted to do so.

The guy is clearly full of shit when he says he doesn't want to "send the wrong message" by profiting from this since he outright says he's hoping to.
Todeswind wrote:The kid was being repeatedly disobedient. Confiscating the computer in the short term had been used on her already. The next logical step is removing computer privileges entirely. Repeated disobedience requires escalating levels of punishment to correct the behavior. Obviously this has limits but functionally shooting the computer on video and giving away the laptop to charity on video ( which would have been my choice) are the same.
Which is my point! Shooting it accomplishes nothing that giving it away would not. In fact I've explained how giving it away would have allowed him to frame it in such a way that it might have been the more productive disciplinary measure. Initially children will almost invariably get pissed at their parents and think they are being assholes when belongings or privileges are confiscated. It's considerably harder to rationalize generosity as assholish behavior compared to waving a gun around.
Todeswind wrote:The father had every right to confiscate the computer and every right to shoot it, smash it with a hammer, run over it with a car or burn it if he so wished.
I don't give a damn if he has the right to be an asshole. An asshole acting within his rights is still an asshole. The Westboro Baptist Church are some of the biggest assholes you'll ever come across and yet they mostly act within their rights.
Todeswind wrote:Confiscating a child's property only has value as a punishment if the child believes that there is a chance the privilege of a phone / computer / whatever might be permanent.
Nonsense. If a teenager has his/her car keys confiscated for a month and having to walk and bus everywhere they go, they can still be dissuaded from misbehavior by the thought of losing it for another month as opposed to forever. Repeated offenses may require stepping up the severity of the punishment, but as you yourself have admitted, giving away the computer is a functionally identical punishment to shooting it in terms of the disincentive the teenager receives.
Todeswind wrote:His goal wasn't "look like a perfect guy," it was "be a good parent."
So then you are acknowledging that this doesn't paint him in a good light and it just doesn't matter? Being a good parent often involves being a good role model that your kids can look up to and admire. The two goals aren't mutually exclusive. Making sure your kids are well fed is good parenting. Stealing from another family to do so is not, especially when it is unnecessary.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Dalton »

There will be a story about this at the end of the 2pm hour on msnbc.
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Dominus Atheos »

I assume you mean 2 pm eastern, so it just finished? Anything interesting said on it?
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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

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Re: Facebook Parenting (Viral video)

Post by Dalton »

That's not it - the Today Show must have done a segment too. We just did a segment at the end of NewsNation.
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