It is the year 1957.
Murca and Zenobia, two terrifyngly powerful and also incredibly ideologically stubborn nations, are engaged in yet another contest of nationalistic chest-beating and dick-waving.
Murca, fresh after its victory in Salvation War: Part Deux, where it saved the stupid cowardly Stenchies and Anglians from the evil Thanasians, is crossing eyes with the communoids from Zenobia - who might have helped a bit with the war, yeah, but are freedom-hating communoids and must be destroyed. They kinda have a lot of tanks and nukes, though, so Murca will settle for humilitating them a bit.
Zenobia, on the other hand, must prove the superiority of communistic thought and worker's liberation and universal healthcare to the moustache-twirling Murcans. They both thought long and hard about how to do this, and while some Murcans wanted to try this newfangled "nuclear war" thingie, most thought this a little too over the top.
But if not by annihilation of millions in nuclear fire, then how to prove that one nation had the bigger of two dicks? How to show which country was the more manly and well-oiled one?
Then it struck them. They'd have a fucking RACE TO THE MOON. Hell yeah! Unfortunately, since there was cold dead space between Earth and the Moon, both nations would have to work at it. But there'd be rockets involved. Lots of rockets, and macho exploits in outer space. Also, explosions.
But before they flipped their opponents the bird, the two mighty nations would have to decide who to appoint to the role of "the guy charged with proving to the other guys we're the best".
Also, someone would probably have to straddle the mighty steel tubes full of high explosives to plant a flag in lunar soil and do the actual bird flipping. Finding such insane idiots larger than life heroes would probably be difficult indeed.
So, I want to propose a forum-based game of Buzz Aldrin's Race Into Space. For those who don't know, it's a computer version of the board game called Liftoff, where you manage a Soviet or American space program. The computer game is characterized by being completely broken in single player, as the failure rates are extreme yet not touching the computer, so you are screwed unless you save scum.
But this will be a two-side standoff! There will be death, there will be failures, there will be rockets blowing up on the pads! On both sides, all the time!
The rules? The only rule is no rules. I will implement the decisions of the people in charge of both space programs, record the carnage that results and post them. Let the best man win!
But first, of course, we need to build a roster.
- Men in charge: both Murca (America) and Zenobia (USSR) require people to lead their nationalistic dick-waving contests. They can have one or more people in charge.
- The insane fuckers who will ride the rockets. We can have as many people as we want here, and boy will we need a lot.
Apply below by posting your name and desired position. Do realize that positions will be awared ona first come, first served basis, since both nations need to get into gear fast, and will not have time to check the qualifications very thoroughly. The benefits are outrageous, the pay is incredible, the fame will be great.
The Zenobian director will also be shot or sent to a gulag if he fails.