Armageddon???? (Part Fifty Up)

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Post by Darth Wong » 2008-03-15 06:25pm

Well, Bush's leadership style of allowing his underlings to make all the small decisions is probably fine for the time being; the military does not need to dig too far into its bag of tricks to understand how to deal with a Bronze Age army, even a mammoth and freakishly aggressive one like this.

It would be interesting to see how he handles it if the situation gets more complicated than "demon horde emerges from hellmouth, army smashes demon horde, rinse and repeat", which I have no doubt that it will.
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Post by Cyborg Stan » 2008-03-15 06:39pm

I love this story. It's like the exact opposite of Signs.

Heck, I could make a list comparing the two...

Reason why Armageddon??? is better than Signs.
  1. Armageddon??? is a title implying humanity's struggle to survive. Signs sounds like something to do with traffic.
  2. Armageddon??? has the message as The Message, a telepathic decree to all humans in all languages. Signs has messages that bored college students can make in a couple of hours.
  3. Armageddon??? has demons that are massively tough but are vurnerable to high-powered firearms, missles, mines, and razor wire. Signs has skinny white aliens that can be beaten by a baseball bat.
  4. In addition, the demons attack by land, sea, and air. The aliens however, are dissolved by contact with water.
  5. Signs stars Mel Gibson as the main character. Armageddon??? doesn't.
  6. In Signs, Mel Gibson claims that those that don't believe will roll over and die. In Armageddon???, the most fevrent believers have already died, and everyone else is getting ready to storm both Heaven and Hell.
  7. In Signs, the wife has to die because otherwise the retarded brother would not have known to use his baseball bat. In Armageddon???, the military utilizes it's weapons according doctrine hone by years and years and years of warfare.
  8. Hell, just one of the bronze-age soldiers from the armies that Hell used to carelessly eliminate would have taken care of the problem in Signs. Or if someone had a gun, or used a hammer or axe or something.
  9. In Signs, the cast is some inbred family in Pennsylvania. In Armageddon????, we have the White House staff, various militaries, hookers, transsexuals and much much more pitching in.
  10. At the end of Signs, Mel Gibson's character becomes a preacher again, since apparently being attacked by aliens restored his faith in God. In Armageddon???, all the events in Signs would have been a cynical ploy by Heaven to gain believers.
So on and so forth...

EDIT : Beh, link messed up.
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Post by The Duchess of Zeon » 2008-03-15 07:32pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
brianeyci wrote:I'm not trying to get in between, but I think Chris was talking about skilled manpower.
Not an issue, plenty of battleship crewmen going all the way back to WW2 are still alive. Almost all of them would be too old for other forms of military service, particularly service in frontline ground units, so they can be freely called back to help train a new crew. What’s more since the USN has been scrapping ships left and right for the last 15 years, and has properly preserved only very small numbers of ships in category A mothballs, its very likely that a mobilization is going to turn up way more navy crewmen and officers then we have ships to man. Anyway, as has been point out this is way more realistic then throwing old aircraft into combat.
I would rather see a Zumwalt than a battleship, even if they're longer in coming. Not just one Zumwalt, but fucking thirty-two Zumwalts, sailing through a gate to Heaven established somewhere in the Pacific. I hope Stuart writes in a gap between the war in Hell and Heaven, or even a multi-year gap.
The 155mm guns are nice, but the long range GPS guided shells won’t work in hell, and the normal 155mm rounds travel no further then 16in shells, with far less firepower. Building a Zumwalt takes three years, and its basically the completed opposite of a mobilization design so this is not a one or the other kind of situation. We can go and build new Zumwalts, but Iowa’s are a much more immediate solution. Building 32 of the things is really not even on the radar, it could ten years.

Another possible source of extra naval fire support would be to start reactivating non VLS Spruance’s, if any are in good enough shape, most have been scrapped IIRC, and fitting them with the 8in lightweight gun the design was always intended to take.
We only have six Spru-cans available unfortunately, though four of the decommed Ticos are with us as well, and most of the decommed OHPs.
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Post by The Duchess of Zeon » 2008-03-15 07:34pm

In regard to politics:

You do realize that the new SecDef is Mark Warner, the (oops--former Democratic Governor of Virginia).

To bring the country together, Bush has placed a perfectly competent individual in the SecDef's seat--and Bush tends to let his subordinates do as they please.

In short, Mark Warner is running this war, and he is nothing like Rumsfeldt.
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Post by Jawawithagun » 2008-03-15 07:40pm

I reckon with the current situation at the home front Hollywood's gonna love rolling out the old propaganda machine again and give us such jewels as Die Hard In Hell where a battered andbruised Bruce Willis finds himself in some publich building suddenly overrun by demons and he has to singlehandedly first get rid of them and jump through the portal they came through to save his ex-wife once again.
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Post by Ma Deuce » 2008-03-15 07:44pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:You do realize that the new SecDef is Mark Warner, the (oops--former Democratic Governor of Virginia).
Nope, it's Senator John Warner (also from Virginia), who was previously Secretary of the Navy under Nixon and Ford.
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Post by Stuart Mackey » 2008-03-15 08:33pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:snip

In short, Mark Warner is running this war, and he is nothing like Rumsfeldt.
If Bush intends to go flying that F104, you might have Cheney running the war.
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Post by The Duchess of Zeon » 2008-03-15 08:58pm

Ma Deuce wrote:
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:You do realize that the new SecDef is Mark Warner, the (oops--former Democratic Governor of Virginia).
Nope, it's Senator John Warner (also from Virginia), who was previously Secretary of the Navy under Nixon and Ford.
Oh. Meh. To many people with that name in that state.
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Post by Stuart » 2008-03-15 09:24pm

Oxford, England.
Professor Richard Dawkins was a deeply unhappy man. He had spent much of his career trying to prove that God, and by extension Satan, did not exist. He had even managed to convince himself that he had proven it beyond reasonable doubt. Several scholars disagreed with him and had even gone as far as to write books that argued that Dawkins was wrong, though the professor was so convinced of being right he had not even tried to debate with them, despite the apparent logic of many of their arguments. He was right, and that was all that mattered.

The Message had upset all of his work, God did exist, even if he had abandoned humanity to the tender mercies of Hell. Despite all of his efforts to try and prove it was fake, The Message had been all too real. The only crumb of comfort he could take from the situation was that his thesis that religion was inherently bad had been proven right, and at least he had not had to listen to the faithful said ‘I told you so’, which would have happened had a benevolent, loving God revealed himself.

Despite all that was happening in the world Dawkins had decided to devote his time to writing a book that argued that The Message had vindicated his work, glossing over the fact that he had been wrong about the non-existence of Heaven and Hell; most readers would not remember that, he thought. Evidently he had not been paying enough attention to the news, the Government had implemented paper rationing to go with fuel and food rationing, and very few books would be getting published in the near future. In fact very little other than military manuals and very truncated newspapers would be published from now on. To the intense distress of some, The Sun had decided to discontinue Page 3 for the foreseeable future.

Dawkins’ stomach reminded him that it was time for lunch. He left the Oxford University college where he worked, intending to eat in the pub frequented by C.S Lewis and J.R.R Tolkein, idly wondering whether they continued their theological argument now that they were in Hell.

He passed two Thames Valley Police constables, the thought of John Thaw coming into his mind as he did so. What did bring him up short was that both officers were armed, still something of a rare sight in Britain. The two Police Constables carried the standard Glock 17 as a sidearm, though one carried a G36C rifle, while the second carried a pump-action shotgun. The British police had searched through their armouries to for suitable weapons to arm as many of their officers, whether Authorised Firearms Officers, or not.

“Professor Dawkins?”

Dawkins turned back from staring at the two coppers to see a slightly dishevelled, long haired man in his mid twenties standing in front of him. The professor was not worried, lots of his fans and acolytes liked to speak to him about his work, or ask for his autograph. It wasn’t as if he was likely to be assailed by any religious fanatics these days.

“Yes.” He replied. “I think I have a pen here somewhere…” Dawkins continued absentmindedly.

“Good, good.” The man said satisfied. “This is all your fault!” He suddenly yelled, taking the professor by surprise. “You and your ilk denied the All-Mighty and he has abandoned us to eternal damnation as punishment!”

“Look here…” Dawkins began to say hopping that those two police officers he had seen earlier were not too far away had heard the commotion and would come to his rescue, but was cut off by a sharp pain in his chest.

He looked down to see the wild eyed man pull an eight inch knife out of his chest. The man raised his arm and stabbed again, and again and again.

The two police officers had indeed heard the yelling and had been hurrying to deal with it. Instead of seeing two men arguing they saw one man lying on the pavement surrounded by a spreading pool of red, while the other was spattered with blood and held aloft a dripping knife. He looked straight at the aghast police officers.

“All-Mighty lord, today I have truly done your work today. I will gladly do my penance!” The murderer screamed, his voice rich in exaltation.

The shotgun armed constable brought up his weapon and shot him once. The heavy slug intended for use against baldricks made an incredible mess of a human being, blasting a huge hole in his chest and throwing the corpse out into the road.

“Enjoy rotting in Hell mate.” The copper said as he worked the slide on his weapon. “You’ve condemned an innocent man to hideous torture.”

Headquarters, Randi Institute of Pneumatology, The Pentagon, Arlington, VA

“This letter was received by the Institute a few hours ago. It provides us with eye-witness evidence that angels as well as demons have been behind much of the misery that has afflicted our world over the centuries..... Excuse me.”

Randi turned to a secretary who had brought in a message flimsy. He read it, then turned dead white. “Gentlemen, Ladies, my apologies. I must ask to be excused. Please carry on with the agenda.” He turned and left the conference room, the sharper observers noting that he staggered slightly as he did so.

A few minutes later, Julie Adams knocked quietly on the door of his office and went in. Randi was sitting at his desk, his face in his hands, sobbing quietly. She slipped behind him and put an arm around his shoulders, she owed her sanity to this man and some comfort was the least she could provide.

“What’s happened James?”

“An old friend of mine, Richard Dawkins, has been killed. He was attacked in the street, in Oxford. He never stood a chance.”

“A baldrick?”

“No, that’s what is so horrible. It was some religious nutcase, witnesses say he was screaming stuff about how Richard and I brought all this down on humanity, that by denying God, we brought about all humanity’s damnation.”

“That’s ridiculous James. The poor man was probably insane – or possessed. Was he wearing his hat?”

“Is it so ridiculous? Really. We were so sure we were right, that all this talk of gods and devils and great sky pixies was just old, outmoded superstition. Just ancient people without the knowledge to understand what was going on around them giving the only explanation they could think of. We laughed at them, ridiculed their ideas and beliefs and all the time there was a higher dimension, there were creatures who influenced our lives. The old legends did have a base of truth in them and we laughed them off. Just as we laughed off the people who tried to tell us we needed these tinfoil hats. Now its the people who refuse to wear them that are the dangerous cranks. So did we condemn humanity by our arrogance?”

“When did Heaven get closed to new entrants James?”

“Nobody knows. Everybody has different theories but 1000 AD is the most popular.”

“And you and your friend are really that old?”

Rand started at the suggestion and frowned. “This isn’t funny.”

“No it isn’t James. It’s not funny at all. You’re blaming yourself, your friend and all those who thought like you for something that happened more than a thousand years ago. That’s absurd, not funny. Got news for you James, the world does not rotate around you any more than it rotates around any one of us. Your friend was a victim of the same mean, treacherous deception that made victims of us all. So stop blaming yourself and try to think out how we can help your friend.”

“What?” Randi was stunned by the comment.

“Well, we know he’s in hell don’t we. Everybody who dies is. We know kitten can find people in hell and contact them if she has enough to go on. You have pictures of your friend, personal stuff, things he gave you? Then give them to kitten, see if she can contact him. Then we can work out how to get him out of there.”

“Bring him back from the dead?”

“Why not? We’re sending enough occupants of hell in the opposite direction. At least let’s try instead of wallowing in self-pity.”

Inner Ring, Seventh Circle of Hell

Richard Dawkins writhed and twisted on the burning sand, trying to evade the flurries of searing flakes that tormented him. As far as he could see, he was in a featureless desert, broken only by the forms of other victims thrashing about in the same agony as him. He had no idea how long he had been here, all he could remember was the knife plunging into him and then everything round him converging into a single bright dot, the way an old-fashioned television did when the station closed down. Then the impression of a tunnel and the sudden impact of the pain as he had found himself here.

This was it, this was hell and he was stuck here forever. Then he mentally struck himself, no, he wasn’t here forever. He was here until humans could blast their way down to him and free him. That was it, that was it all. He had to hold out until then.

The burns from the sand and those accursed flakes made thinking difficult and Dawkins believed he was going mad. There was a voice calling him. “Richard, Richard.”” He knew the pain from the burning was making him hallucinate. “Richard, Richard?” It was still going on.

“Lalla?” It couldn’t be, she was still alive. He was imagining things.

“No, its kitten. Is this Richard Dawkins?”

“Who are you?”

“You don’t know me, I work for James Randi. You are Richard Dawkins. If you are, we’re using you as an experiment.”

“I’m Dawkins. Please, help me.”

“We’re trying. Hold on.”

Headquarters, Randi Institute of Pneumatology, The Pentagon, Arlington, VA

“I’m through, I got him. Poor thing, he sounds terrible.”

“Being knifed and sent to hell will do that to a man.” The speaker was one of four Special Forces men in the room, wearing orange-red BDUs and armed with the new M4A5s.

“Get ready to move Lieutenant Madeuce. Once the portal is open, we can’t hold it for long. And don’t forget the bolt-cutters. Ready kitten? Here we go.”

James Kirkpatrick started turning up the dial, artificially boosting the signal they’d recorded connecting kitten and Dawkins. Soon enough, the now-familiar ellipse started to form. As it increased in size kitten was threshing round helplessly on her couch, her partner dabbing her forehead and whispering comfortingly to her. Then, it was large enough and the Special Forces H-team stepped through.

Inner Ring, Seventh Circle of Hell

“Get a poncho over him fast. Damn these blasted flakes, what the hell is this place?” Madeuce was angry and hurried, this was nothing like what had been described to them.

“Hell boss. Sir, stay still Sir, we’ll get you out of this. Just hold still.” The tool-steel bolt-cutters sliced easily through even the thick bronze shackles.

“Shit we’ve got company!” A figure, tall and black had suddenly appeared. Madeuce squeezed off a burst from his carbine at him and saw the figure lurch with the hits. Then a streak of fire shot across the burning desert and the baldrick exploded. “Well done Frankie. They don’t like them AT-4s.”

Behind them the other two members of the team had freed Dawkins and dragged him through the ellipse. Madeuce and Frankie Portello followed them out and the ellipse closed behind them.

Headquarters, Randi Institute of Pneumatology, The Pentagon, Arlington, VA

“We got him!” The voice from the Special Forces team was triumphant. All four were back in the room and the portal had been open for less than a minute.

The body of Richard Dawkins was in the room with Doctors applying instruments and probes. “We’re getting readings, he’s errr.....” The doctor was about to say ‘alive’ but stopped himself. “With us.”

“Richard can you hear me.” Randi was urgent, almost frantic, far removed from the gentlemanly, calm demeanour he usually maintained.

“James how did you... what’s happening?”

“We got you out. Don’t ask how but we did.”

“Mister Randi, energy levels we’re getting are fading, its as if his life, if he wasn’t already dead, was leaking out.”

“Right.” Kirkpatrick was already speaking to kitten. “Can you contact Lieutenant Kim please. Then we’ll open a portal to her.”

“All right, please hurry though.” kitten relaxed on her seat and closed her eyes, concentrating on her picture of Jade Kim. Over the other side of the room, the H-team was loading up with supplies for the PFLH. No point is wasting trip.

“Richard, we can’t keep you here, we’re sending you back to the Fifth Circle. We have a resistance team there, they’ll shelter you until they can get you into hiding.”

“Ma’am.” Lieutenant Madeuce was speaking to kitten. Don’t hold the portal open after we’re through. Once we’ve arrived, we’ll be staying there for a while.” kitten nodded with her eyes still closed.

On the Shore of the Styx, Fifth Ring, Hell

Kim’s eyes suddenly defocused. “Message coming through guys. Our resupply hopefully.

Lieutenant Kim? It was kitten again.
“Yes kitten”

“Get ready, portal opening. There’s a special forces team and a passenger coming through with some supplies. They’ll explain what’s happening. Get ready now.”

The black ellipse formed as a point and rapidly swelled to its full size, large enough for a man to step through. Five figures came through, four in red-brown BDUs that matched the foul air of Hell very well. The fifth man was naked, his body burned but already starting to heal. Kim recognized that, it was the enhanced healing power of hell. This person was one of the dead, just like Kim and her little unit.

“Ma’am. Lieutenant Madeuce. Special Forces. This is Richard Dawkins, we pulled him out of somewhere else in Hell and brought him here.”

“Why? We haven’t room for passengers.”

“We needed to know if people can be brought from hell to earth and stay there. Well, they can’t, he was, well, dying for want of a better word. The egg-heads needed to know if kitten could find other people, we needed to know if we can do transits like this. So many things. Look, we’re staying on to help you here. In your reports you mentioned a refugee organization. Can they look after him?”

“Why can’t I fight as well.”

“Because you’re not trained to. This is a job for professionals.” Madeuce’s voice was curt. “Can we get him to safety. Ma’am. My orders are to place myself under your command.”

Kim nodded. Being dead had its advantages, if this war went on long enough, she would be the most senior Lieutenant in history. “There is a refugee organization, headed up by a woman called Rahab. We don’t know if we can trust her, this will make a good test. OK, Bubbles, Mac, we better find Rahab. Madeuce, you bring supplies?

“120 kilograms of Semtex, another M107 a lot of ammunition for same and six M4A5 carbines. Oh, and a video camera. The brass want pictures and films of hell.”

Kim nodded, the Semtex wasn’t enough but it would do. “Who are you Sir?”

“Richard Dawkins. I was an author.”

“I know, I read one of your books. Guess you must be pretty embarrassed huh? Don’t sweat it, we’ll look after you.
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Post by Academia Nut » 2008-03-15 09:41pm

While I doubt he would have been there, can you imagine if the guy that stabbed Dawkins ended up in the torture pit next to him and watched him get evacuated? That would probably be the most devastating thing to see, that for all your fanatacism you're still damned, and the dirty atheist you stabbed still has friends willing to bust him out of Hell.

That said, I would see most of the scientifically minded atheists shrugging and saying, "Okay, we were wrong, but then again we didn't have all the facts because Heaven and Hell were deliberately hiding from us before. We were right about them all being douche bags though."

Interactions with Rahab will be interesting though. She's panicking over the capture of tens of thousands while the SF personnel make Hell a nightmare for the demons and suddenly they show up and say, "Yeah, we tried evacing this guy out of Hell but it doesn't work, so would you mind keeping an eye on him until we can parade Satan's head through the streets on a pike? Thanks."

Finally, if the dead are still recieving pay for their duties in Hell and thus would still be considered in active service, would that mean it would be possible to promote a dead person?
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Post by KlavoHunter » 2008-03-15 09:41pm

So - people who've died and gone to Hell cannot leave!
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Post by The Duchess of Zeon » 2008-03-15 09:50pm

KlavoHunter wrote:So - people who've died and gone to Hell cannot leave!
We don't know for sure if that's permanent. I mean, if it's just a loss of some kind of energy, we can replace that. it does however prevent us from rescuing people in the short term.
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Post by darthbob88 » 2008-03-15 10:04pm

Lieutenant Madeuce? You must be running short of good names. :P More seriously, this continues to be a damned interesting piece of fiction, as usual.

So, people cannot leave Hell? Most unfortunate, but livable. It brings to mind the idea of Occupied Hell as part of the Heavy Armor Brigade's dominion.

My only complaint is that this makes it impossible for our forces to continue in an infinite loop; it would be awesome to see "2100 Yesterday: Officer Foo killed by Baldrick. 0600 Today: Officer Foo reports for duty again."
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Post by Sidewinder » 2008-03-15 10:15pm

I wonder if Madeuce and the living SF operators with him will need protective masks and MOPP suits?
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
KlavoHunter wrote:So - people who've died and gone to Hell cannot leave!
We don't know for sure if that's permanent. I mean, if it's just a loss of some kind of energy, we can replace that. it does however prevent us from rescuing people in the short term.
Let's not try to bring up more headaches regarding how to deal with the dead by letting them stay on Earth, e.g., pay and promotions for soldiers who died on active duty, disputes between the dead and their living relatives over the inherited wealth, Julius Caesar demanding that his assassins face trial, etc. At best, Hell can be used to test terraforming techniques, i.e., turn the place into a tropical paradise (sort of) so the human souls there won't suffer.
Please do not make Americans fight giant monsters.

Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.

They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)

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Post by JBG » 2008-03-15 10:21pm

Your Grace, the suggestion is that those abandoned to hell's sweet graces cannot cross back to the land of the (short ) living. What will become of the SP personnel sent through? We will in all probability have to wait for Stuart to lay that out. He does tend to plan his stories very carefully. My suspicion is that they will suffer consequences.

The living need more than just the elle-tee to bleed hell. How is MI5 etc going with SAS/SBS personnel in hell though the problem there is that few tend to actually be killed in combat? Are the Aussies etc trying on something similar with their lost troops? Knowing how Aussies took to operating under British Army control. they would be champing at the bit to raise "merry hell" in hell.

As for warships. We saw winged heralds and later harpies. We saw aquatic, almost pelagic, heralds so I think that it is more than a possibility that we will see massed aquatic demon creatures. What is to be used against them? The mk 54 is overkill so will subs be re-fitted with mk 46s? The modern Russian version of the hedgehog would make for a nice close in weapon, Subroc would do for more distant targets/concentrations of sea going demons.

The Iowas should be the only old battle wagons brought back into service, as the Des Moines are now a lost cause. Otherwise Arleigh Burkes should be built as quick as possible, with multiple auto cannon mounts. Smaller frigates should be pumped out with simple missile and gun mount systems.

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Post by Ma Deuce » 2008-03-15 10:39pm

Well, that was an interesting chapter. While it isn't surprising that there'd still be some religious nuts around, that guy murdering Dawkins was totally unexpected.

I was actually suspicious that people who die and go to hell could not leave (at least not permanently), given their effective immortality and lack of need for sleep and food, which means something else had to be powering their bodies (and also given Stuart's efforts to make the story as scientifically accurate as possible).

And hey, I got a cameo! I honestly wasn't expecting that; though Stuart, if you wish to use my real name, you're more than welcome; you can just drop me a PM and I'll provide it, though I must mention that my surname is a difficult to spell and pronounce name of Latvian origin, that may seem out of place (to some) for a US SpecForces operator; on the other hand it could become something of a minor recurring gag, as it is in real life (almost nobody gets it right without practice, and they often mangle the spelling even when it's dictated to them letter by letter, and most people's first impression is that it's a Greek name).
Acedemia Nut wrote:While I doubt he would have been there, can you imagine if the guy that stabbed Dawkins ended up in the torture pit next to him and watched him get evacuated?
No he wouldn't have, while he'd be in the same Circle of hell, he'd be in a different Ring. Dawkins was in the Inner Ring of the Seventh Circle, for being a blasphemer. As a murderer, his attacker would be in the Outer Ring, in which he'd be immersed in a river of boiling blood.
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Post by Vehrec » 2008-03-15 10:44pm

Oh bugger that. Dawkins won't be good for much in Hell except to the resistance in that he'll be running with the rest of those survivors. Well he might be useful if one needs to decipher the natural systems of Hell, but I bet Darwin has a lot more than Dawkins on that front.

I theorize that through sufficent expendature of energy, one might be able to stabilize a 'soul' indefinately in our realm. However, the amount of energy needed would be very large indeed so we would only be able to call on one or two of the famous historical figures.
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Post by JBG » 2008-03-15 10:47pm

"And hey, I got a cameo! "

It must be hard to come up with names constantly. I was the Australian PM in 1972 in a TBO story. I haven't done jack since though!!!!!!! My Hawk LIFT hasn't done anything since last Jay ( JN1 ) mentioned me.

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Post by Stuart Mackey » 2008-03-15 10:49pm

Academia Nut wrote:snip

That said, I would see most of the scientifically minded atheists shrugging and saying, "Okay, we were wrong, but then again we didn't have all the facts because Heaven and Hell were deliberately hiding from us before. We were right about them all being douche bags though."

snip
I think the important thing to realize is that while heaven and hell exist, its population do die and its leaders are not omnipotent and are not gods.
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Post by Jawawithagun » 2008-03-15 10:52pm

darthbob88 wrote:My only complaint is that this makes it impossible for our forces to continue in an infinite loop; it would be awesome to see "2100 Yesterday: Officer Foo killed by Baldrick. 0600 Today: Officer Foo reports for duty again."
Naw, it still works.
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Post by MKSheppard » 2008-03-15 11:04pm

To the intense distress of some, The Sun had decided to discontinue Page 3 for the foreseeable future.
NOOOOOO

You bastards! What is Britain fighting for now! :evil:
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Post by JN1 » 2008-03-15 11:17pm

MKSheppard wrote:
To the intense distress of some, The Sun had decided to discontinue Page 3 for the foreseeable future.
NOOOOOO

You bastards! What is Britain fighting for now! :evil:
The return of Page 3 and 'The Daily Sport' of course, Mark. :lol:

Stu, for a minute there I thought you had saved Dawkins after I went and had him shot.
My Hawk LIFT hasn't done anything since last Jay ( JN1 ) mentioned me.
Don't worry, Jonathan. You're one of those picked to go to RAF Aldergrove.
While it isn't surprising that there'd still be some religious nuts around, that guy murdering Dawkins was totally unexpected.
He's convinced himself that The Message was all the fault of Dawkins and his ilk, so rather than lay down and die, he would wait for his chance to kill one of them, then either kill himself, or commit suicide by cop, as here. That he waited until two police officers had passed was no coincidence.

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Post by Shroom Man 777 » 2008-03-15 11:49pm

This is awesome. I bloody hope Richard Dawkins gets an important role in converting those ignorant refugees of Hell into, well, more active Hellraisers (:D). I mean, with Broomstick and Ma Deuce, they can raise all hell, but with Dawkins there, if he's not gonna be useless, I think with his arguments and whatnot, he could also help with winning the hearts and minds.

Goddamn, imagine him using REASON to sway demons to their causes!

Fuckin' A, Dawkins could be a very useful asset in the War on Hell.
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Post by Edward Yee » 2008-03-15 11:51pm

brianeyci wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:Well that is true. The intention was not to talk politics though, but to talk about something funny and insane happening, and to give a suggestion of a potential subplot allowing the demons a minor victory.
For me, that minor victory was harpies' ability to overwhelm helos at all (albeit thanks to sufficient numbers) and at least thusfar baldricks' fighting ability in close quarters.
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Post by Darth Wong » 2008-03-16 12:06am

To be honest, I have trouble seeing how Dawkins can be anything but dead weight in the story. He's probably useful only insofar as he demonstrates what happens when you try to pull somebody out of Hell.

PS. Realistically, Dawkins wouldn't respond that way. He is a pretty clever guy, and he would most likely respond to the Hell invasion by simply saying that it was logical to conclude that Hell did not exist when there was no evidence whatsoever. Now that there is evidence, it is logical to conclude that Hell exists. Simple as that. A crisis of self-confidence and a furiously pointless spin-doctoring campaign would be really quite out of character unless he loses 50 IQ points when The Message arrives.
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