My son the terrorist

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Darth Wong
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My son the terrorist

Post by Darth Wong »

Hello everyone, greetings from Orlando, Florida. Rebecca hates winter, so we're taking a week and a half to temporarily escape it. Of course, Floridians think they have winter too. Last night I saw a Floridian maintenance worker wearing a parka, because the temperature dipped below 50 degrees Farenheit :lol:

Anyway, something interesting happened on the way in: we discovered that according to DHS, my 8 year old son David is a suspected terrorist!
I wrote:Yesterday was Friday, February 16, 2007. The day I discovered that my 8 year old son David is on the American Homeland Security Department’s “No Fly” list.

Luckily for us, we ran into Customs agents who recognized the inherent absurdity of my little boy being identified as a possible terrorist, so they let us go through. After all, he’s 8 years old.

Of course, it has occurred to me that if he were a man rather than a boy, we might have very well missed our flight. When our flight took off (an hour late due to interminable Customs delays, by the way), we could have been sitting in an interrogation room trying to convince some bureaucrat that we are not secretly working for Al-Quaeda.

I hope you Americans feel really safe knowing that these kinds of smart security measures are in place, because it’s nothing more than a pain in the ass for the rest of us, and guess what: if I were a terrorist who was known to intelligence services, do you really think I’d travel under my real name anyway?

Today’s entry in the “pointless and absurd” column has been brought to you by America’s Homeland Security Department.
You can't make this shit up, folks.
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Post by Jim Raynor »

:shock:

I wonder what the hell could have happened to lead to his inclusion in the list.
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Post by Stormbringer »

Jim Raynor wrote::shock:

I wonder what the hell could have happened to lead to his inclusion in the list.
Random stupidity in all likelyhood.

The problem with the No Fly Lists are really that they are just half-assed. While a properly managed list would be potentially useful, the current one appears to be cobbled together out of sheer idiocy. There is no oversight, no consequences for a government fuck-up, and precious little recourse in fixing it. That alone pretty much dooms it to be more of a hassle and a bitter joke than anything productive.
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Post by Adrian Laguna »

I begin to wonder if these lists are made through a name generator.
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Post by SpacedTeddyBear »

As an infant, your child was probably suspected of smuggling plastic explosives in the absorbing material of his diapers or something....... :roll:
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Post by Burak Gazan »

:wtf:

Did anyone offer ANY possible explanation for this ?
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Post by Darth Wong »

Burak Gazan wrote::wtf:

Did anyone offer ANY possible explanation for this ?
Nope. And let's face it, when you're trying to catch a flight and you finally manage to get through the Customs gauntlet after almost two hours, you aren't going to stick around and ask a lot of questions.
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"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

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Post by Burak Gazan »

Very true :?



Well, have a good holiday in the frozen wastes of Florida :P
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Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Mike, what insanity possessed you to come to America's Wang of all places? :lol:
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Post by Ace Pace »

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Mike, what insanity possessed you to come to America's Wang of all places? :lol:
Kennedy Space Center? :wink:

Wong, I feel your pain, I managed to get marked for 'extra screening' all over the United States.
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Post by Darth Wong »

Ace Pace wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Mike, what insanity possessed you to come to America's Wang of all places? :lol:
Kennedy Space Center? :wink:
You don't know of any other attractions for a family with two young kids in Orlando, Florida? I can think of a few, although we are indeed booked to visit the Kennedy Space Centre later this week.
Wong, I feel your pain, I managed to get marked for 'extra screening' all over the United States.
Indeed. It's one thing to read about the absurdity of DHS. As you must know, it's quite another thing to actually experience it for yourself.
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"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

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"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

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Post by Grand Admiral Thrawn »

There must be someone named David Wong on the No Fly list for some reason (or maybe no reason at all). If you share the same name as someone on the list you're in for a lot of hassle.

Or maybe they just decided to put an eight year old on the list. I'd say he's as big a threat as the president of Bolivia, who is also on it.
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Post by Dominus Atheos »

Jim Raynor wrote::shock:

I wonder what the hell could have happened to lead to his inclusion in the list.
David Wong is also the name of a computer programmer, a gay Christian from Malaysia, a convicted murderer, an orthopedist from Tulsa, and an action figure.

If I had to guess, I'd say they probably meant one of those other David Wongs. :P
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Post by Darth Wong »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:There must be someone named David Wong on the No Fly list for some reason (or maybe no reason at all). If you share the same name as someone on the list you're in for a lot of hassle.
We need to start sending Al-Quaeda intelligence messages while using screen names like "Glenn Beck", "Bill O'Reilly", and "Sean Hannity" then. Of course, I suspect that the almighty intelligence apparatus would mysteriously treat them differently.
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"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

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Post by PainRack »

Darth Wong wrote: We need to start sending Al-Quaeda intelligence messages while using screen names like "Glenn Beck", "Bill O'Reilly", and "Sean Hannity" then. Of course, I suspect that the almighty intelligence apparatus would mysteriously treat them differently.
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Post by Dennis Toy »

This No-Fly list is STUPID as SHIT! The stupid americans need to feel "safe" from those 3bol r@g#3@d T3rr0r!$7$, they create programs like this and others such as the Patriot ( we need to have warrentless searches and monitoring of phone lines) Act and the prison in sunny Cuba known as gitmo where they love to tor....oops! i mean put the terrorists through harsh interrogation.

Just what did these people think your 8 year old son would do?
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Post by Kamakazie Sith »

A name alone is such a stupid way of catching terrorists it is simply unbelievable that they'd employ it. The only redeeming quality here is the agents recognizing the absurdity of the situation, and allowing your family to pass.
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Post by Ace Pace »

Darth Wong wrote: You don't know of any other attractions for a family with two young kids in Orlando, Florida? I can think of a few, although we are indeed booked to visit the Kennedy Space Centre later this week.
I can think of quite a few, but thats the first one that sprang to mind, I was at the place when I was 7 and I still remember it quite clearly, sometimes more so then places like Disney World.
Indeed. It's one thing to read about the absurdity of DHS. As you must know, it's quite another thing to actually experience it for yourself.
Atleast they have those neat machines nowdays where you step inside and they scan you for anything 'dangerous' rather then actual patting downs.
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Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Darth Wong wrote:
Ace Pace wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Mike, what insanity possessed you to come to America's Wang of all places? :lol:
Kennedy Space Center? :wink:
You don't know of any other attractions for a family with two young kids in Orlando, Florida? I can think of a few, although we are indeed booked to visit the Kennedy Space Centre later this week.
Oh. Disney World. Have fun. KSC should also be hella fun for you guys.
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Post by General Brock »

Was your son packing his little bazooka? He might have some notoriety you are unaware of. Parents are always the last to know and first to deny...:P

I'm not sure where you ever found such a thing; obviously not in the toy departments I frequent. :)
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Post by Flagg »

Darth Wong wrote:
Ace Pace wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Mike, what insanity possessed you to come to America's Wang of all places? :lol:
Kennedy Space Center? :wink:
You don't know of any other attractions for a family with two young kids in Orlando, Florida? I can think of a few, although we are indeed booked to visit the Kennedy Space Centre later this week.
Wong, I feel your pain, I managed to get marked for 'extra screening' all over the United States.
Indeed. It's one thing to read about the absurdity of DHS. As you must know, it's quite another thing to actually experience it for yourself.
KSC is pretty fun, but I didn't go again once they started charging to get in. When you have to stay indoors because a rocket blows up and the wind is blowing south, you should never have to pay to go to the Space Center. Must have gone there about 15 times on various school trips in Elementary school.

If you're not going already, I highly recommend Universal's Islands of Adventure. It's awesome. If you go to Universal Studios I'd advise against 'Twister', as it totally sucks.
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Post by Flagg »

Ghetto Edit:

On the flight back be sure to get to the airport very early, as you're probably going to have problems with DHS again.
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Post by MKSheppard »

It's the convicted murderer. Thankfully I never have to worry about being mis identified as Crierie is virtually unknown outside a few places
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Post by Setesh »

Oh joy, the wonders of mismanaged lists. Think thats bad look up how 'sex offender' lists used to work. Until the mid-nineties they were (at least in maine) updated and posted by volunteers. Getting on the 'sex offender' list required you either be convicted or 'suspected' of a sex crime. The problems came up because 'suspected' meant being suspected by the commitee of volunteers to have done something not the police.

I got to be one of the oh so lucky people who had to sue the state to get my name taken off the list, my 'crime' was I had used a credit card to buy something from a porno shop (I'm relativly sure it was handcuffs). There were something like 20000 people who were on the list for buying porn. It came as no surprise to me the head of the group responsible owned and opperated a 'Christian Science' bookstore.
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Post by Steve »

They must have seen his baby pictures, Mike. That mischievous twinkle in his little eye, they knew he was trouble. 8)
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