Global Warming: You're God

[Surlethe]

Given the recent IPCC report, it appears that global warming is picking up pace, and will do so regardless of human activity (or lack thereof) in the relatively near future. So, I'm curious as to what you would do if you suddenly acquired abilities akin to those of an RTS player: namely, you can move people, equipment, and resources around however you feel like it, and nobody will question you. In essence, you're a god, and people will do whatever you say. You can't, however, directly alter the enviroment through magic.

Your goal: to maximize the welfare of the human race over the next thousand years. How do you do it?


N.B.: In another sense, this is like asking what the ideal behavior is for mitigating and pulling society and humanity through the coming crisis.

[Darth Wong]

With a thousand years to play with, and the near godlike power of an RTS top-down controller, I'd just make the spoiled fat rich inhabitants of the first-world nations spread around some of their wealth and adopt a more austere lifestyle. They won't even complain, because nobody ever does in an RTS.

That's the short-term band-aid. The long-term solution is to cut way back on the breeding rates in all of the world's most high-density population areas. With a thousand year timeframe at my disposal, I don't need to kill anyone to reduce the population down to ecologically manageable levels; I just need to get the average family down to 1.0 children in the high-density areas.

I'd also demolish every religious organization that promotes high birthrates. It's a real-life RTS game, so nobody will oppose me and after a thousand years, everyone will have forgotten those religions.

[darthdavid]

I stop all wars and force the best available environmentally friendly solutions on people. Then I start a two pronged approach. Both are centered on research so I'll build lots of various types of labs and make sure that universities crank out plenty of engineers, scientists and other people helpful to this sort of thing. The key possibilities are A) Earth Based and B) Space based. For A I'll look into techniques to combat it long term with my newly assembled brain farms (IE: How do we build electric cars that don't suck, Fusion etc...) as well as technologies that could help earth based humans survive the disaster if I can't prevent it (super-large scale greenhouse farming for controlled temperatures, procedures to maybe reverse desertification and such, that sort of thing). The rest of the funds go toward establishing off world colonies. A lunar station, a mars station and probably various points in the belt. Since I have all the world's funding at my fingertips both should advance fairly well (Mostly because I can just throw money and people at the problems associated with human influence on climate/space travel and colonization) and I should be able to let all the smart scientists come up with a good terrestrial strategy for me to use while humanity gets a foothold in the stars that should keep us safe.

[HSRTG]

Demilitarization and then the cannibalization of existing militaries would probably help with budgeting for everything else. I'd instantly stop the suicide bombing, and all other stupid shit people get into. Legalize porn, and mandate good public schooling where possible (I assume I can pause the world and read up on what I should do when it comes to shit like that). Immediate global health initiative, AIDS prevention and vaccination wherever possible will help with humanity's long-term survival.

Also redistribute excess resources to research in both reversing our effects on the planet, and in the space program. Creating funds for instituting current solutions to emissions. Also, research is immediately begun on methods of asteroid/comet/misc.-bad-shit detection and prevention. Research and practical experiments towards mining, then colonizing the Solar System. Spreading humanity out across the Solar System and defending it against most possible natural disasters would definitely go a long way towards my goal.

After immediate efforts to do the above are complete, I'd begin long term research, if possible, to begin the creation of slow-ships (or a counterpart) to head to other star systems. Getting humanity onto the path of colonizing the galaxy would definitely be another mark towards fulfilling long-term survival. Perhaps helping humanity survive after that could be a secondary goal?



Oh, and what Darth Wong said. Those are good ideas.

[K. A. Pital]

All shall bow down before my Space Socialist Union.

Oh, and Global Warming? Explode 100-200 MT thermonuclear warheads in pre-destined remote places to cool the Earth in short term, introduce mass nuclear-thermonuclear power in the long term.

[Stofsk]

With a thousand years to play with, and the near godlike power of an RTS top-down controller, I'd just make the spoiled fat rich inhabitants of the first-world nations spread around some of their wealth and adopt a more austere lifestyle. They won't even complain, because nobody ever does in an RTS.

They do if you keep poking them.

[Xon]

Drastically reducing US military spending, rebuilding their healthcare infrastructure and removing all pork from the budget can probably pay for all the changes you want to make to the entire world for several centuries.

[Stofsk]

Drastically reducing US military spending, rebuilding their healthcare infrastructure and removing all pork from the budget can probably pay for all the changes you want to make to the entire world for several centuries.

But we need psychic teleportation and wave after wave of prototypes we'll never use...

[Admiral Valdemar]

What if I just get bored and want to exit and play Super Mario instead? Can I just wipe out the pitiful species, or do you need a patch for that?

[General Zod]

I take it dropping Captain Trips into the world is out of the question?

[SirNitram]

SimCity taught me the answer to this one: Replace the entire power grid with fission/fusion, and replace the roads with rails.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

Central planning to the rescue!

First, establish the New World Order(tm). All businesses are integrated accordingly. China-like limits on children per person are started immediately.

Second, just in case, take blood/hair/whatever samples from a few of every endangered species on the planet. If anything goes awry, we can clone up a new generation of obscure but beautiful animals and beetles and plants. All areas with endangered wildlife in them are made into protected environments immediately. No mining, no hunting, no nothing.

Third, it's time to go nuclear. All money currently spent on the military, oil % gas, and the energy industry are diverted towards producing an almost completely green infrastructure and energy grid. SUVs and Hummers are banned immediately. Over time, switch from cars to trains in all areas. This will need plenty of infrastructure, but it will be worth it.

After that, play it by ear.

[Hawkwings]

Psh. Everyone knows that you should screw the environment in the short term and focus on research. Then you can start making improvements. Like fleets of zeppelin air-scrubbers!

[Tanasinn]

I'll spam basic infantry units so I can kill global warming early in the match.

...Well, you DID say it was an RTS...

[Stormbringer]

I'd go with the Futurama solution. Simply drop comet into the oceans to cool down the planet and eventually just move the planet further from the sun to cool things down.

It's perfectly in keeping with an RTS mentality.

[The Grim Squeaker]

I'd go with the Futurama solution. Simply drop comet into the oceans to cool down the planet and eventually just move the planet further from the sun to cool things down.

It's perfectly in keeping with an RTS mentality.

It was "Dropping giant ice-cubes mined from Haleys comet into the oceans".
And Al-gore used that scene (And its explanation for global warming) in "an Inconvenient truth".

[Admiral Valdemar]

I'd go with the Futurama solution. Simply drop comet into the oceans to cool down the planet and eventually just move the planet further from the sun to cool things down.

It's perfectly in keeping with an RTS mentality.

It was "Dropping giant ice-cubes mined from Haleys comet into the oceans".
And Al-gore used that scene (And its explanation for global warming) in "an Inconvenient truth".

"Of course, since the greenhouse gases are still building up, it takes more and more ice each time. Thus solving the problem once and for all."

"But--"

"Once and for all!"

[drachefly]

And of course I wouldn't want to see the changes in sea level if you're bringing MORE ice just to cool things down. Assuming that it doesn't net positive energy just from the fall, which I doubt...

[Patrick Degan]

In my case, probably a combination of Darth Wong's and Stas Bush's solutions. Oh, and just for laughs, I make Rush Limbaugh a publicly slavish devotee of Ralph Nader. He renames his radio show The Green Zone. I also make it so that his fans are compelled to keep tuning in no matter how outraged they are about the new format and that the more they listen, the more they are "corrupted" by its message.

Even a god has to have a little bit of fun...

[Jadeite]

Going along with one suggested idea, I have reflective particles dumped in the upper atmosphere as a short term solution. Long term projects would involve electric cars, widespread nuclear power, and a shift of population and industry to orbital habitats.

[Wretchosoft]

I'd drown 99% of the human race and start from scratch, of course with all the technology intact. Then I'll just play it like a typical Civilization-esque thing, except with no enemies! Yay!

How does this solve Global Warming? Well, with 99% of the people gone, I can eliminate almost all of the sources of greenhouse gases.

[tim31]

I'd use next season's monsoons to uncover the alien spaceship that's been buried in the Simpson Desert for a few thousand years. The planck energy reactor from that can be reverse engineered over, say, two hundred years, giving everyone something other than war and corporate fat-catting to do until the New Era is ushered in.

[atg]

Going along with one suggested idea, I have reflective particles dumped in the upper atmosphere as a short term solution.

Unfortunately I believe that would result in global dimming, where not enough sunlight reaches the earth's surface for plants to grow properly, or for water to evaporate at the rate we need.

[Jadeite]

Going along with one suggested idea, I have reflective particles dumped in the upper atmosphere as a short term solution.

Unfortunately I believe that would result in global dimming, where not enough sunlight reaches the earth's surface for plants to grow properly, or for water to evaporate at the rate we need.

Only if we reflect too much sunlight. The last article I saw on the topic suggested that a one percent reduction would be satisfactory (in the short term anyway).

[Cecelia5578]

What about China and India? Certainly its not just the US that is to blame.