Adrian Laguna wrote:I'm quite surprised it didn't happen earlier. On the other hand, it probably wasn't a priority, so this might have been the first time simply because suddenly an aircrew was picked an coincidentially they were all female. It didn't happen before because the shortage of girls in the airforce made it statstically a bit unlikely. Unless it is a publicity stunt, in which case I give my standard response to all publicity stunts (unless they are very entertaining)  
 
  
it 
has happened before, on numerous other airframes.  This is 
supposedly the first 
C-130 female crew to fly into combat...I'd bet it's happened before, just that there were no cameras there.  Even as it was, it was likely (as you said) a coincidence of scheduling, and lucky for them the public affairs office was there with a camera this time!!!
surprised nobody mentioned anything about the chicks very visibly packing heat...very grrr, baby!
well, here's an unrelated but better story, bet Wicked Pilot knows some details on this...
"This is a no kidding story from our base. All of the following events did happen. The names have been omitted to protect the stupid. Some detailed information was added because it makes the story more real. The story was told second hand from a C-130 reservist working at our operations headquarters listening in on all the radios and speaking with most of the parties involved. This version is not very far from the truth. In fact, the naked truth is probably even funnier.
An active duty crew from Texas is taxiing off the ramp with 50+ Army guys in the back. It's two in the morning, but still kind of hot. The wind dies down at night, the humidity kicks on and it can stay well over 90 degrees. You add the heat of the flight line, engines running and aviation gas fumes and it can still be really hot. The active duty has older C-130E and C-130H1 models, so their air conditioning does not work so well. This heat and those fumes can make people airsick. Well as they taxi an Army guy pukes all over himself and a neighbor in the back of the airplane. Then a sympathetic puker takes out himself and the guy across from him. Then another. Then another until there are ten guys whistling beef in the back of the airplane. All this mind you and they haven't even taken off.
Rumor is there is a USAF regulation that states that after 20 pukers, it's a medical emergency. For 10 pukers it's only a mess.
The loadmaster relays his disgust to the pilot. The pilot, a Captain with not too many hours of pilot in command time, has two lieutenants for his copilot and navigator and he's frantic. As a crew they can't figure out the best course of action. It'll be a miserable three hours to wherever they are going and it could get worse. 'Another puker,' says the loadmaster. The pilot--who can now start to smell the vomit in the very front of the airplane as it wafts up in the heat--calls the command post to find out what he should do because he hasn't taken off yet and the floor in the back of his plane is getting repainted with these dudes' dinner. 'Another puker,' is the call from the back of the plane. The command post (probably a single or double striped airman that has never flown in a C-130 in his life and doesn't care to either) tells them to park the airplane where it is, shut down the engines and perform an emergency ground egress. Back to Play Station for the young airman, damn it...and don't call me again.
An emergency ground egress is what you would do if the plane caught on fire. It's what you'd do if you saw fuel pouring out of the wings. It is for really bad things. A ground egress is a tricky thing. You can't just shut down your engines and walk away. You have to declare an emergency with the tower (who hasn't heard any of the conversation with the command post because they are on different radio frequencies) who then calls the fire trucks and paramedics. All the passengers have to get far away from the plane because it is loaded with 44 thousand pounds of fuel and has a whole bunch of incendiary, pyrotechnic flares on board. Thus, an emergency ground egress is not something to be taken lightly.
These six aircrew members are all on headset when the command post tells them to do this. They know the facts: they are on a taxiway parallel to a two mile long runway active with fighters, bombers, tankers, JSTARS, C-17s, C-141s, C-5s, 747s, and other C-130s landing and taking off as they sit there. They have a full plane full of people, some of whom are puking. The smell is bad and getting worse. What do they do? What do these people who Donald Rumsfeld calls 'the best and brightest that our nation has to offer' choose to do? 'Captain, another puker, sir. What are we going to do?'
Those f****g dumba$$es shut down their engines blocking the only taxiway that runs alongside the runway and have everyone exit the airplane running like a herd of cats to get away from the explosive vomit. Un-f****g-believable. They have done al Quaida's work for them. They have almost completely shut down air operations. Any departing aircraft will have to back taxi on the runway to leave which means that no one can take off or land while someone is taxiing and vice versa.
It gets better.
Who is first on the scene? Paramedics? Fire department? Rescue? Security Forces? No my friends, ATOC. (ATOC gives and receives our cargo and passengers. It stands for 'A$$h***s Taking Our Crap.')
Ready to lend a hand, or so it seems, the ATOC representative wants to find the aircraft commander. Remember, it's 2 am. They're not on the ramp anymore, so it's not well lit. It's a total cluster because these folks have run away from the airplane until they felt silly and then they ran some more. This ATOC guy is more than a little anxious in his voice as he sorts through the crowd so he finally starts shouting. The A/C works his way through the crowd to the vehicle, relieved that there is someone there with a radio. Someone with experience. Someone who can help. Salvation, no?
But what are the first words out of the ATOC rep's mouth? "Sir, I am writing you up for a safety violation. These passengers are on the airfield unescorted and none of them have on reflective belts. What is your squadron, name and rank?"
Not 'What's your emergency?' Not 'How can I help?' Not 'Let me help you.' I am writing you up for a safety violation. There is great irony in this. The army guys are sporting the brand new electronic pattern camouflaged fatigues. It's night out and no one can see them because they are wearing camo--kind of the whole point, right? So the USAF in all it's wisdom hands everyone who transits the Al Udeid Air Base a reflective belt (along with a man purse, but that's not germane to this conversation) that the user MUST wear under penalty of death from sundown to sunup. Even if you are just walking that meager 300 feet to the toilet in the middle of night, you must wear this belt. God forbid you don't wear this belt when you go to take a squirt. We can't win the war without this belt! What in God's name are thinking trying to walk around in camo at night without a reflective belt?
These are Army guys. When they land in Iraq, the whole point is that you are not supposed to see them. That whole 'fighting the insurgents thing' or something. They kill people and blow stuff up. They get hostile fire pay and their taxes back as compensation for what they do. It is a very dangerous and difficult job. People are trying to kill them because of what they are trying to do. It is easier for them to do their job, from what I gather, when the insurgents can't see you. These are Army guys.
This is an ATOC guy. He is in Qatar. He is getting hostile fire pay and will get his federal and state taxes that he has paid while in Qatar refunded to him. He will never see Iraq. He will never see Afghanistan. The reality of this conflict is very far from his own personal understanding of what is truly important. While he is eating Dairy Queen *****ing that he has to walk that 300 feet to use the lavatory, there are people in Iraq *****ing that a mortar landed 300 feet from their tent. This is an Air Force guy.
It gets better.
They call off the emergency response vehicles, which never showed anyway, and the aircraft commander pockets his write-up for a safety violation.
Frustrated, the young captain asks his loadmaster to get the plane cleaned up as fast as possible so they can depart. The powers that be are really worried that the C-130s won't take off on time. God help you if you take off more than 14 minutes late. You boss will come to see you. Your boss's boss will come to see your boss. Hell, your boss's boss's boss might even come to see your boss's boss. This is stressed. And on the chance that you have a Distinguished Visitor (e.g. Admiral, General, Colonel, politician, or some other pain in the ***), getting that DV to their destination is your number one priority. You are ordered to bump passengers (war-fighters) and cargo (bullets and bombs) off of your airplane so some perfumed prince of the Pentagon or DC can spend ten minutes on the ground in Iraq and figure it all out. They even alert our crews almost four hours prior to takeoff so that we can take off on time!
The Captain has the weight of the world on his shoulders as he thinks about this. He needs the loadmaster to clean that Hercules as fast as possible to get the hell out of there. Now the loadmaster, in true loadmaster form, tells the a/c that he's not cleaning up ten vomit puddles because it's not his fault. He asked the Army guys when they got on the plane if they needed airsick bags and they all said no. It is clearly the army's fault and they should clean it up.
The a/c approaches the Army troop commander, who outranks him by the way, and asks him to get his people back on the plane to clean it. 'No can do, Captain...they don't want to do it. I can't make my people clean up another guy's vomit because it is a biohazard. Since I didn't see who puked, how can I punish the right soldiers? And even if I did know which guys puked, look how the puke is now all mashed together. It's all mixed up. I can't make a soldier clean up another's vomit without PPE. And who can remember where they were sitting anyway? No, I'm sorry young Captain, you'll have to clean it up yourself.'
I love it! I can't figure out why these inter-service operations never really work. Look at the love between the branches of the military! One team, one fight!
The young captain takes the ATOC radio and asks maintenance to clean the vomit because he's too scared to push the issue with this Army Major (Army guys must look scary to him) or with his loadmaster (maybe enlisted guys scare him, too.)
Maintenance says, 'Nuts. Maybe if you have brought it back to the ramp where we keep our equipment we could have helped you out. But since you parked it way out in the middle of nowhere right next to an active runway, we'll let you handle it. After all, it's your plane. You clean it.' The aircraft commander is really frustrated. He is now very late for his take off. No one is listening to his orders. He thinks that the puke smell is starting to permanently seep into his flight suit. Who can he turn to for guidance?
He calls the genius at the command post. 'Who can I make clean this plane?' he asks. The command post guy is pretty mad at this point. He was either playing 'Grand Theft Auto' on his PlayStation, reading a comic book or 'Stuff' magazine, or he was sleeping. This fool has bothered him again. What to do?
The command post calls and wakes (a little past three am now) the full bird colonel who heads the medical group. 'We have a C-130 shut down blocking the parallel taxiway because there a large human biohazard-type spill. Could you please send a team down to clean it up?' I'm sure the colonel is scratching his head at this point. He asks if it was an aeromedical evacuation mission and what type of biohazard it is. (Smart question, really. If it's air evac, let the aero-meds clean it and he goes back to bed.) The command post tells him that it was not an aero-med mission and that he doesn't know what type of biohazard it is but he does know that it is delaying the mission. Colonel wakes his team and sends them to the flight line on their fool's errand.
They show up and find out why they are there. They don't ask any questions. They clean the vomit. They leave. (The next day they report to the colonel what they were used for and he is livid. He will have someone's balls for this.)
The Army guys, each with their own personal airsick bag and some with two, board the plane. The young a/c takes off and returns well after sunset. His boss, his boss's boss and his boss's boss's boss are all waiting to chat with him when he lands.
That was some time ago. They chewed this kid out for quite some time. I love it. I almost peed my pants when I was told that story. We have met the enemy and we are him. I need to leave this place."