What do you hate about yourself?

[Mr. T]

xBlackFlash:

Mentally- I'm a complete fucking doormat. My Ex wrote me an essay on why I should kill myself (with the knowledge that I was struggling with that anyway) and topped it off by giving me a razor the next day. That was over a year ago. We still hang out, and he's a pretty close friend.

Jesus fucking Christ. Those are not the actions of a close friend.

Exactly what I was thinking. Holy crap, how could you possibly keep hanging around with that jackass?!

[Tinkerbell]

I've seen your grad picts. There ain't no way in hell your 30lbs overweight. Get your scale calibrated.

5'2-3, 165-170. Yeah.

A question to those out there: do these things negatively affect your outlook on life or confidence?

Fuck yes it does. Like you wouldn't believe.



I.O + Mr. T - Self-respect/esteem issue. That was a basic illustration of my allowing people to walk all over me.

[Trekdestroyer]

I realy hate myself when I end up looking like an idiot in front of someone I don't know. This is the worst when I try to speak Spanish with other Spanish speakers. I think it's because I am worried I'll make a mistake or say somthing wrong and sound stupid. I realy like listening rather than taking part in disscusions. I am also afraid to post topics here at stardestroyer.net because I keep thinking everybody will think the topic is retarded. I also fear posting somthing only to hear it's been done before.
Ay Dios mio, it's been a long day and I am feeling like a fucking zombie.

[Imperial Overlord]

I.O + Mr. T - Self-respect/esteem issue. That was a basic illustration of my allowing people to walk all over me.

There are times when I'm a doormat with self estime issues and this is far beyond it. If you know a friend is feeling suicidal you try to get her help, not push her over the edge. What was done to you was evil and you deserve better than that.

[Erik von Nein]

xBlackFlash:

Mentally- I'm a complete fucking doormat. My Ex wrote me an essay on why I should kill myself (with the knowledge that I was struggling with that anyway) and topped it off by giving me a razor the next day. That was over a year ago. We still hang out, and he's a pretty close friend.

Who wants to pitch in some money for plane tickets and give this guy a serious ass kicking?

Seriously, there's fucked up and then there's a step beyond. That's a step beyond and then some.

A question to those out there: do these things negatively affect your outlook on life or confidence?

Hell fucking yes it does. Most of the time I try to grin and bear it and I try to be as pleasent as I possibly can be to other people but as for my outlook on life and confidence? Shoot straight to Hell and back and then back again for souvenirs.

[Vicious]

xBlackFlash:

Mentally- I'm a complete fucking doormat. My Ex wrote me an essay on why I should kill myself (with the knowledge that I was struggling with that anyway) and topped it off by giving me a razor the next day. That was over a year ago. We still hang out, and he's a pretty close friend.

Who wants to pitch in some money for plane tickets and give this guy a serious ass kicking?

I'm game. Can I cart along my baseball bat?

A question to those out there: do these things negatively affect your outlook on life or confidence?

Aye. I've found myself scared shitless at the thought of speaking to large groups of people, even on a subject I am well versed in. I can psyche myself up before hand, but when it comes time to actually get up, I panic. As Erik said, confidence subsequently goes to Hell. Mine just stays there awhile, then brings me back souvenirs as reminders.

[Broomstick]

You know, all you folks in your early to mid 20's who have trouble getting your shit together, being organized, and speaking in front of people.... I used to be like that, too, but around 30 things started coming together for me. The older I get the more organized, studious, and confident I become. So there's hope for you all yet.

[wautd]

Mentally- I'm a complete fucking doormat. My Ex wrote me an essay on why I should kill myself (with the knowledge that I was struggling with that anyway) and topped it off by giving me a razor the next day. That was over a year ago. We still hang out, and he's a pretty close friend.

Could you punch your knee in his groin and tell him I've said "Hi"?

[WyrdNyrd]

Ya know, I think quite a few people here suffer from the stereotypical net-addict personality flaws. Here are mine, and see how many of them already appear in 75%+ of the preceding posts:

• Lack self confidence
• Unassertive, passive, door-mat
• Over-weight
• Addicted to the net, no friends outside of it, actually give a fuck about what people on the opposite side of the world think of me
• Procrastination and lack of mental discipline
• Short temper
• Clinical depression
• Self-loathing
• Sexually immature and insecure
• Social phobia and fear of embarrassment (you should see how many times I proof-read every fucking post I make to SDNet.)

All seems quite familiar, no?

Then you get assholes like Mike who's biggest problem is that they're obsessed with all the sex that they are getting anyway. Mike, you are genuinely a hero to me, but I nonetheless hate you with every ounce of my being!

Some other random comments on other people's posts:

Broomstick posted some sage advice for the 20-something crowd - a lot of things get better as you get older. Well, I'm 32 and yes, some things do improve somewhat, but unfortunately clinical depression ain't one of them. And of course the feeling that your life is going nowhere only gets more intense as the amount of time you have left to improve it diminishes.

As for xBF's "friend": Guys, the answer is not to go over and beat him up. The answer is to help xBF build up her own sense of self-worth so that she can deal with him. There will always be ass-holes, but if xBF can find the strength within herself, then she can tell them all to fuck off with a smile on her face!

[speaker-to-trolls]

Physically I'm pretty good, despite the fact that I never excercise, so all my major flaws are mental.

I am pathologically lazy and almost completely unable to commit to a project for a long period of time.
I cannot comfortably have a conversation with people outside my close circle of friends.
I am a political sponge, meaning that I can't form any opinions of my own because I just absorb any arguments I hear. Having said that I am more likely to absorb right-leaning arguments these days, but I think that my just be due to overexposure to them.
I am completely unable to initiate any kind of romantic relationship.
I have a short attention span, so when I am in the midst of working on a story or setting for a story I am likely to retconn the whole thing as soon as I see some new film/tv show/read some new book/etc and completely disregard the entirety of what I've already created.

[Mr. T]

As for xBF's "friend": Guys, the answer is not to go over and beat him up.

Awww, but we all really want to

[dragon]

I hate my lack of will power to study (a deffinent must at masters levels) and to diet.

[Erik von Nein]

As for xBF's "friend": Guys, the answer is not to go over and beat him up. The answer is to help xBF build up her own sense of self-worth so that she can deal with him. There will always be ass-holes, but if xBF can find the strength within herself, then she can tell them all to fuck off with a smile on her face!

Oh, yeah, I know. It was just a bit of venting.

[Pick]

I hate my inability to keep friends for very long because of my extremely poor social skills. I also hate how I look and my lack of inspiration to change it. I hate that I can't seem to keep myself on track. I hate that I'm not better at art. I hate that I'm lazy. I hate that I think too much of myself but at the same time undervalue myself randomly. I hate that I'm frivolous. I hate that I'm always at odds with something, and usually end up the one hurt by it. I hate that I'll let myself be a doormat at the worst possible times. I hate that I'm loud, and I hate that I'm arrogant. I hate the few moments that I panic. I hate how much I lie. I hate that I won't forgive people, or let things go. I hate how I come off to others. Etc.

[wilfulton]

Well God-like superpowers aside,

I hate the fact that I have skin conditions. Acne is a minor one, shouldn't have it though, but I also have psoriasis, which causes itchy scaling on my scalp and looks ugly. That's not the only place I have it either, and it is very unsightly. I wish it would go away, all of it.

I wish I had a larger penis. Technically I sit pretty on "average", but what guy doesn't wish he had more.

I'm fat, and converting all of that excess into muscle is painfully slow going (I've been at it for a couple years without making much headway in the mirrior). This causes me to be somewhat self-conscious.

There's more, but I'm gonna chop it off at three. Most of you have already hit on them and I tend to be a person that focuses more on what he doesn't have than in what ways he's blessed.

[Dooku's Disciple]

Physically I'd like to be 5" taller, a few inches longer downstairs and a little more fulsome in the hairline department. I'd also like to be able to do more for myself, such as tie shoelaces .

Personally I'd like to stop procrastinating so much and kick my life into the shape I want, then maybe I can work on not being so angry (with myself) and mistrustful or cynical (with others).

DD

[Oni Koneko Damien]

Ya know, I think quite a few people here suffer from the stereotypical net-addict personality flaws. Here are mine, and see how many of them already appear in 75%+ of the preceding posts:

Lack self confidence

Unassertive, passive, door-mat

Over-weight

Addicted to the net, no friends outside of it, actually give a fuck about what people on the opposite side of the world think of me

Procrastination and lack of mental discipline

Short temper

Clinical depression

Self-loathing

Sexually immature and insecure

Social phobia and fear of embarrassment (you should see how many times I proof-read every fucking post I make to SDNet.)

Okay, for a change-up, then: I hate the fact that I didn't lose these flaws earlier in life than I did. Right now, I'm fairly fucking pleased with myself. I am still improving, always, but there's nothing glaringly obvious I see that I say "Damn, that needs to change right away".

Five years ago (and all through high school, unfortunately), I was depressed, insecure, self-loathing, unassertive, sexually immature, no self-esteem, no self-confidence, and harmfully addicted to the net. I dropped the last few of these over the past year. My only regret now, looking back, is 'why the fuck did it take so long?' If I had the confidence I have now in high school, I would have been an outcast, but I would have been much farther ahead than *everyone* else there, and would have left a trail of rightious destruction in my wake. I would have been the kid legends formed around.

So, what do I hate about myself? I hate the fact that, in my opinion, my development as a person is several years behind schedule.

~Damienkitty

[Darth Garden Gnome]

I can be jealous of my buddies in their relationships from time to time, despite being in my own (not to say it isn't satisfying, just less than I'd like it to be) which bothers the shit outta me.

Every once in a while, I become very paranoid of everyone. Like they're out to physically harm me, and I'll want to keep everybody walking in front of me and be constantly looking over my shoulder.

Those are pretty trivial things, my one greatest fault as far as I'm concerned in my lack of direction. I just don't know where I'm going/what I want to do with my life.

Fortunately, I'm probably one of the more upbeat fellows out there regardless of that. Shit tends to work itself out, sooner or later.

[The Morrigan]

I hate the fact that I have skin conditions. Acne is a minor one, shouldn't have it though, but I also have psoriasis, which causes itchy scaling on my scalp and looks ugly. That's not the only place I have it either, and it is very unsightly. I wish it would go away, all of it.

I feel your pain. Although I only get it in my scalp and keeping my hair short and washing it every night with'T/Gel' shampoo mostly keeps things under control.

[DrkHelmet]

Oh this is one for us self loathers.

1. I hate being overweight. I'm trying to correct it, but the fat doesn't wanna leave. However, even if it won't go away, I've decided that I'll still be healthier eating right and excercising than sitting on my ass eating doritos posting on forums all da.... oops, *stashes the doritos*.

2. I overthink things. I've considered more "what if" scenarios than anyone I know. The upside is, if I'm ever put in charge of a starship, I'll know how to set up my combat tactics. The downside is that I am constantly thinking and can barely get a good night's sleep.

3. I'm suspicious of everyone and everything. Consciously or no, I suspect everyone's motives for every action they do. Being nice is not a motive in my mind.

If I think of anything else, I will let you know.

[Uraniun235]

I wish I didn't crave intimacy. I think if I had that taken care of, I'd be pretty content with life.

[pellaeons_scion]

I wish I wasn't so damn short
I wish I didnt look so damn young.
I wish I could stop thinking about things that no one else seems to give a damn about.
I hate not being able to read the so-called dating 'signs'. I need a book or manual or something! So many dates, so many friends...blargh.

Yeah I know, I've heard it all before "Oh you will love it when your older, and still look young!" Nice idea, shame it doesn't work so well in reality. Its sorta hard to get any kind of respect or taken seriously when your only 5'3(161cm) at best. Throw in looking very young and at first glance people take you to a teen at best. When your 28, that kinda starts to grate.

[Rye]

Well, I think I'm too fat at the moment, I can grav it on my midriff, and my chest moves with it.

I hate how my hair tangles (might sound shallow, but it takes fucking ages to fix), and as an extention of this, how vain I am. I always assumed I was ugly growing up, so now, whenever anyone tells me I'm hot I don't know how to deal with it, apart from overscrutinising anything that might make me look imperfect.

Procrastination - it takes me SO LONG to actually do something if I'm left to my own devices. Motivation is another thing, living comfortably and easily depressed means it takes ages to do something.

Hatred - I hate a lot of things. I really like the feeling, I would like to dedicate myself to peace and quiet studious work, but I yearn for chaos and destruction, likely out of some misanthropic desires stemming from self loathing. Take all this terrorism coverage, I find it horrifying, but inexorably cool, and I hate myself for it. It's like with 9-11, when I saw the towers go down, the first thing I thought was "those poor people"...but in the back of my mind, a sick part of myself was impressed with the show. I hate myself for that.

[DrkHelmet]

Hatred - I hate a lot of things. I really like the feeling, I would like to dedicate myself to peace and quiet studious work, but I yearn for chaos and destruction, likely out of some misanthropic desires stemming from self loathing. Take all this terrorism coverage, I find it horrifying, but inexorably cool, and I hate myself for it. It's like with 9-11, when I saw the towers go down, the first thing I thought was "those poor people"...but in the back of my mind, a sick part of myself was impressed with the show. I hate myself for that.

There may be a place for you in my cabinet when I take over the world. After we exterminate the Jedi of course...

[Lord Zentei]

I hate how I don’t have the willpower to commit to proper study and education. Throughout high-school I constantly battled with getting work done and getting the grade. I am smart enough, I could learn the subject and do the work, but I had to actually bother with doing it. My parents constantly badgered me to get the work done. In college I had the same problem yet again. Failed a math class once and dropped out of it twice. 4th time I pass through with more then 100% because I finaly bothered to do the homework. When it came time to doing my graduate studies, I didn’t bother doing the work.

I have the same problem, the cause being clinical depression. Plus I suffer from neurofibromatosis, which doesn't help.

Also, I feel I am a goddamn pushover.