Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2014-01-25 05:04pm

Me, coming back from lunch: Oh my gods, it's cold enough to freeze your balls off out there!
My co-worker, in shock: Kathy Kemmish! You're a Lady! You don't have balls to freeze!
Me: SEE! They froze already!

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2014-01-29 03:56pm

I am hard at work, pouring over a massive pile of Birth Certificates, when my supervisor steps into my cube.
"Kathy, if you need work to do there's more births over here."

I look at the pile of Births I'm working on (which I counted later -- 79), and said "Don't I have enough?"
Supervisor gets annoyed, walks off. "I'm telling you there's more to do!"

Borgholio · Post by **Borgholio** » 2014-01-29 04:07pm

You could interpret that as saying "If you're bored, you can do these". So just find something more important to do and you'll be fine.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2014-01-29 05:51pm

I'm not receptive to suggestions that I've run out of work and "in case you need something to do..."

I track my own work flow and if you happen to be in a supervisory position, when the time comes that I'm in need of the next thing to do, I will fucking well come and tell you myself. Or if you are wondering about the status of projects for which I am responsible, you may -ask-.

Don't insult me by suggesting that I'm akin to some kind of draft animal in need of constant direction and management. When I'm performing in a managerial role myself, I sure don't behave that way toward my subordinates.

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2014-02-01 09:52am

BFF: I can see your penis!

ME: You walked in the men's room! I'm peeing!

BFF: You have a nice penis...

ME: Thanks!

BFF: Don't tell my fiance I said that!

ME: I won't. Don't tell my girlfriend I let you look!

BFF: I won't. I love the service industry.

ME: Yeah. it's like this little club where we get naked sometimes.

BFF: Yeah. I love you.

ME: I love you.

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2014-02-02 08:53am

Entitled Little Dipshit [Long Monologue Paraphrased]: Yeah, I don't really give a fuck about the Broncos, but I'm coming downtown tomorrow in case there's a riot. I've never flipped over a car before, and how many chances do you get to do that kind of shit, right?

Your Driver: I am staying the fuck out of downtown tomorrow.

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2014-02-03 06:16am

Fucking Idiot: Can I get a ride?

Your Driver: Nobody with food gets in this cab, sorry.

FI: [genuinely incredulous] This isn't food! It's a burrito!

Zaune · Post by **Zaune** » 2014-02-03 07:41am

If it was Taco Bell he may have had a point.

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2014-02-03 02:50pm

Zaune wrote:If it was Taco Bell he may have had a point.

Zing!

Burritos are easily the most popular street food in Denver. Most of the guerilla vendors on the corner with a cooler are slinging them (with very widely-varying quality), and most of the food trucks are more-or-less selling them, too, no matter what culture's cuisine they claim to be offering. You can get it with Mexican, Thai, Indian, BBQ, or Vietnamese sauce, but you're getting it with rice in a flour tortilla. These things are generally hastily-made and behave like a fucking hand-grenade if I allow one into my taxi - Count to three and it explodes all over the back seat. Especially on nights like last night, when grown men were weeping piteously and passing out in pools of vomit on the street over the defeat of their heroic self-avatars in the Superbowl.

Thanas · Post by **Thanas** » 2014-02-03 03:39pm

You are in Denver? Have you tried putting the umadbro pic of Richard Sherman in the front seat?

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2014-02-03 06:27pm

Thanas wrote:You are in Denver? Have you tried putting the umadbro pic of Richard Sherman in the front seat?

Yes I am, and no I haven't. I'm honestly relieved that the Broncos got completely humiliated; it cost me some money, but also a lot of stress at work compared to a win or a close loss. There was this ugly tension building for days that just dissipated into melancholia.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2014-02-04 07:24am

"Did we decide where we're hanging those pipes?"

(gestures) "Here, and here."

"Holy shit, we're going to need a short steadicam guy."

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2014-02-06 02:23pm

(One of the Art Directors in my office, leaning to peer out through the windows after the Production Designer)

Art Director: "Never mind me, I'm just spying on where Phil's going."

Me: "What, did the batteries in his tracker chip run out already?"

Art Director: "Yeah, we have to feed him a new one."

Me: "Maybe we could hide it in a piece of cheese..."

Art Director: "Yeah, someone has to feed it to him."

Me + another designer walking past my office, in unison: "NOT IT!"

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2014-02-19 07:47am

So yesterday there was a minor dustup between one of my colleagues and a construction foreman. And this morning the foreman apologized, they kissed and made up, and all was well. And the metal foreman hears about this, "What? He apologized?! I'm gonna go over there and give him shit for that. Apologizing to the Art Department!"

And I said, "Yeah, can't have him make all you Construction guys look bad."

"Hey, I'm not -Construction-, I do -metal- work. I don't fuck around with all that pussy building-out-of-wood stuff."

cosmicalstorm · Post by **cosmicalstorm** » 2014-02-19 10:05am

My friend has started shitting all over Facebook about his new job, namely something called ACN Multi level marketing. The attitude is remarkably snobby, he and his new friends are posting pictures of meeting-halls full of enthusiastic people, all of them claiming they will get super-rich by selling some kind of energy-license.
Does anyone have personal experience with this sort of thing?

Borgholio · Post by **Borgholio** » 2014-02-19 10:21am

cosmicalstorm wrote:My friend has started shitting all over Facebook about his new job, namely something called ACN Multi level marketing. The attitude is remarkably snobby, he and his new friends are posting pictures of meeting-halls full of enthusiastic people, all of them claiming they will get super-rich by selling some kind of energy-license.
Does anyone have personal experience with this sort of thing?

It's bullshit, just like most unsolicited salesman jobs.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2014-02-19 11:15am

"Multi level marketing" - think steak knives.

Post by **Broomstick** » 2014-02-19 11:26am

At least steak knives have a purpose. They're useful. You can use them to create yummy meals.

Borgholio · Post by **Borgholio** » 2014-02-19 11:49am

Broomstick wrote:At least steak knives have a purpose. They're useful. You can use them to create yummy meals.

Or as my wife says, you can use them to go STABBIE STABBIE.

Yes, she's violent.

Zaune · Post by **Zaune** » 2014-02-19 12:12pm

This appears to be their website.

I can't say with absolute certainty whether or not they're as skeezy as these outfits usually turn out to be, but they're either staunch believers in minimalist web design or too tight to commission anything better.

Borgholio · Post by **Borgholio** » 2014-02-19 12:16pm

Home-Based Business

There's the key right there. Scam.

spaceviking · Post by **spaceviking** » 2014-02-19 07:54pm

I am amazed that they put multi level marketing in their name. At least try to hide you are a scam.

Post by **Dalton** » 2014-02-20 02:25pm

Yeah, people get suckered into this sort of shit all the time. It's very cult-like. A guy I went to high school with recently tried to lure me in with some bullshit sales pitch but it bounced right off my cynicism.

Zaune · Post by **Zaune** » 2014-02-20 02:32pm

I feel a lot less stupid for getting suckered into this now.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2014-03-01 05:52pm

So, just as a matter of caution, don't joke about solving the problem of not-nearly-enough-space for the catwalks with guards patrolling that the director wants to have by saying hey, we could just build it sub-scale and hire midget actors to fit.

Because you will be taken seriously.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

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