Okay folks, everyone's favorite time of year is upon us: When President Fuck-Stick makes his annual "State of the Union" address. So let's at least have some fun this time around when the Tool-in-Chief blusters on about how he's going to ruin the country.
So let's get a drinking game going. Your suggestions are welcome. Here's what I'm starting with.
Take 1 drink for every minute, from the start of his address, that the president doesn't mention 9/11.
For every subsequent mention of 9/11, take 1 sip.
Every time the president mispronounces "nuclear" as "new-kew-lar", take 1 sip.
For every standing ovation, take one drink. Take 2 drinks if a Democrat other than Joe Lieberman joins in.
For every mention of "God", "the Almighty" or equivalent, take 1 sip.
For every quoting of the Bible, take 1 drink.
Every time the president claims we are "making great strides" in Iraq, take 1 sip.
This is by no means a complete list.
Damien Sorresso
"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
I think that I'd run outta alcohol within the hour....
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
-Every time Bush mentions "Terror", or some variation of it (i.e. Terrorist, Terrorism), take a sip
I must have gone through three beers on that one alone.
"If brute force is not solving your problems, you are obviously not using enough"
-Common Imperial Guard saying
"Scripture also says 'Render unto Caesar what Caesar demands.' And right now, Caesar demands a building permit,"
-County Commisioner Mike Whitehead to Dr. Dino
Every time he mentions "we have to stay the course", or a variant thereof, take a sip.
If he mentions Afghanistan, take a drink.
If the words "family values" appear, take a sip.
If the words "American values" appear, take a sip.
If he mentions Abramoff, take a drink.
If he indulges in veiled partisan sniping, take a sip.
A Government founded upon justice, and recognizing the equal rights of all men; claiming higher authority for existence, or sanction for its laws, that nature, reason, and the regularly ascertained will of the people; steadily refusing to put its sword and purse in the service of any religious creed or family is a standing offense to most of the Governments of the world, and to some narrow and bigoted people among ourselves.
Fleet Admiral JD wrote:We'd lose members to alchohal poisioning.
Seriously, I've been out of university for a while now and I can't drink like that anymore.
Let's see...
Take a drink if he mentions Bin Laden
Take a drink if he mentions Saddam Hussein
If he references Iran in some way, take a sip
Take a drink when he says "protect our great nation of America" or something to that effect
aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
I assume then that after the speach is complete there will be a thread asking how much people went through during the process.
Followed by who can type legibly while pissed
"May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk." - Ancient Egyptian Blessing
Ivanova is always right.
I will listen to Ivanova.
I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God.
AND, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out! - Babylon 5 Mantra
Sorry folks, I tried this once before and woke with an awful hangover. While it didn't exactly convince me to give up alcohol, I decided I was never going to get drunk again. As for the shenanigans go, I think due to the amount of consumption involved, I shall go with plain, pure water instead.
And probably be up all night pissing every half an hour, a la post urinalysis (those of you in the military know what I'm talking about).
Gork the Ork sez: Speak softly and carry a Big Shoota!
I tried to do a drinking game to Bush's State of the Union last year to just the word freedom. I don't like doing straight up shots much, so I made a tall glass of long island iced tea and took a shot sized sip. That proved to be a very bad thing. Just 40 minutes into it, I was stumbly all over the place and having trouble just sitting up. The total count for 'freedom' come into the twenties. In a time frame of 40 minutes, I had consumed two and a half glasses of long island. Just to remind you again what is in a long island:
1 part vodka
1 part tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coca-Cola®
- Take a sip everytime Bush has to stop and repeat a phrase he just spoke incorrectly
- Take a drink everytime he mentions the work VP Cheney is doing
- Take a sip everytime he mentions "groundbreaking new legislation"
- Take a drink everytime he talks about an up or down vote
- Finish the bottle if he mentions any of the following: Michael Brown, Doug Chertoff, Jack Abramoff, Tom DeLay, or Harriet Miers.
SDNet World Nation: Wilkonia
Armourer of the WARWOLVES
ASVS Vet's Association (Class of 2000)
Former C.S. Strowbridge Gold Ego Award Winner MEMBER of the Anti-PETA Anti-Facist LEAGUE
"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. "
-Kingdom of Heaven
If he admits to making an error, chug the bottle .
Take a drink if he mentions Alito
Stanley Hauerwas wrote:[W]hy is it that no one is angry at the inequality of income in this country? I mean, the inequality of income is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Why isn’t that ever an issue of politics? Because you don’t live in a democracy. You live in a plutocracy. Money rules.
This game would be too dangerous, as it really would require you to hook yourself up with a whiskey IV-drip to be played properly.
When ballots have fairly and constitutionally decided, there can be no successful appeal back to bullets.
—Abraham Lincoln
People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs.
—Dr. Gregory House
Oil an emergency?! It's about time, Brigadier, that the leaders of this planet of yours realised that to remain dependent upon a mineral slime simply doesn't make sense.
—The Doctor "Terror Of The Zygons" (1975)
"Yeah, funny how that works - you giving hungry people food they vote for you. You give homeless people shelter they vote for you. You give the unemployed a job they vote for you.
Maybe if the conservative ideology put a roof overhead, food on the table, and employed the downtrodden the poor folk would be all for it, too". - Broomstick
Take a shot at the mention of "activist judges", "freedom" but only when followed by "haters", self deprecating humor, every 55-45 Standing ovation, and the word "abroad"
If you intend to follow the above, shoot yourself in the head and save the ER the trouble.
Many thanks! These darned computers always screw me up. I calculated my first death-toll using a hand-cranked adding machine (we actually calculated the average mortality in each city block individually). Ah, those were the days.
-Stuart
"Mix'em up. I'm tired of States' Rights."
-Gen. George Thomas, Union Army of the Cumberland
Heres one, take a drink each time he laughs nerviously like Dr. Hibbert from the Simpsons... God I hate that.
Praying is another way of doing nothing helpful
"Congratulations, you get a cookie. You almost got a fundamental English word correct." Pick
"Outlaw star has spaceships that punch eachother" Joviwan Read "Tales From The Crossroads"! Read "One Wrong Turn"!
