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Ok, I don't know if this has been discussed yet but I'll give it a shot anyway. I was watching a Kool-aid commercial, and I was remembering something that I've been wondering since I was a kid. Is Kool-Aid man a sentient jar with a Koolaid liquid core, sentient liquid in a psonicly controlled body, or a weird amalgam of the two? If Koolaid man was tipped over would he die, would he simply go "Oh no, my liquid is gone, I need more koolaid", or would he go "Oh no, I'm out of my container, put me back!put me back!" or would he try to get the koolaid back i his body and at the same time try to swim his way back into the jar? I know it's very weird, but my girlfriend won't give me the answer and I need one!

I guess my tutor was right when he said there's a lack of people who competently understand biology in the world...

I recall the Catdog thread not long ago.

WTF?

I think the liquid core is preferable, it's easier to understand. Though he acts more like an amalgam being. Having just watched Doctor Who, I'm more open to a really bizarre biology, so I'm going with amalgam creature.

Admiral Valdemar wrote:I guess my tutor was right when he said there's a lack of people who competently understand biology in the world...

I recall the Catdog thread not long ago.

I don't think that's really the point here... Normal biology doesn't really apply. It's just for kicks.

As for the Kool-Aid man... well, I remember a fairly recent commercial that advertised one of those weird dual-colored mixes, and in it, the Kool-aid liquid inside Kool-Aid man did a sort of Dr.Jekel/Mr.Hyde number, splitting into/switching back and forth between the red "normal" Kool-Aid man, and the green "monster" Kool-Aid man... an both seemed to have a degree of contol over the pitcher-body's movement... I guess this means that the liquid is Kool-Aid man's actual being/essence/whatever, and the pitcher-body is contolled by it... sort of a brain/body relationship, I suppose. But I could be totally off. Any ideas?

While on the subject of bizzare food mascots... what exactly IS Grimace?

Maybe it's sentient frequency matter.

Okay look, I have a theory I'm working on. It involves some boobies, accelerating the rotation of the Earth, and Hershey's chocolate syrup. I'll get back to you on this.

its a civilization of sentient bacteria that is suspended in a fluid of kool-aid

The insane amounts of sugar you have to use to make Kool-Aid are really neural crystals. The Kool-Aid itself is some kind of suspension I/O liquid, while the pitcher is a neurally-controlled mobility device.

Basically, the Kool-Aid Man is a God damn cyborg robot.

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:The insane amounts of sugar you have to use to make Kool-Aid are really neural crystals.

You know, that's really the truth. I never drank much kool aid as a kid, but I had this fat friend who did. When I watched him make it, I was shocked at how much sugar he dumped in. I then asked why he adds so much. He replied, "it's on the directions!" He was right.

What disturbs me about it is how my friend's mouth would always become stained from the red dye. That can't be healthy.

No, no, no, he's a Vorlon that got marooned on Earth. His encounter suit crapped out, and he couldn't build a complete replacement on Earth with our technology. So he shaped it like a pitcher, and made it so that we'd percieve him as an intelligent liquid.

I've been contemplating this for many years, ever since i saw Kool-Aid man for the first time as a child.

My most logical theory is this: the Kool-Aid man is neither a man nor is he Kool-Aid. 'He' is infact a living concentration of human blood and neurons contained within a mechanical exoskeleton of flexible, transpearant plastic which he controls with tiny electromagnetic pulses. Apply electrical pulse, the platic molecules tighten, like a muscle, causing the arm to raise, the leg to move, the ass to shake. The face is a holographic projection. The Actual voice i beleivce originates from the blood and neurons, generated psionically; we're hearing him in our head, no actual sound is being generated.

How he became this way is still a mystery to me. The few times i have asked him personally he would only respond by dodging the question and asking me if i wanted some Kool-Aid. I think he doesnt like to think about how he became what he is. Agian the most logical case is that, at one time, Kool-Aid Man was indeed a human being or a physical being of some sort, but either by physical damage or illness he was forced to abandon his organic body and place the essential materials therein into his cyber-plastic 'jar'. But the basic theory about his chances of survival outside of the exoskeleton is that he'd have as much chance of survival as your brain would outside of your head--i.e none what so ever.

Now...mind you...i'm drunk off my ass right now, so i may have made some mistakes in my calculations. But i should mention that i drink because it gives me knowledge, and i doubt you'll find many inconsistancies in my theory. I think you'll find it quite adequate.


And if you cant tell i'm bullshitting you need to drink for knowledge too.

felineki wrote:While on the subject of bizzare food mascots... what exactly IS Grimace?

Grimace is a missing link between the primordial soup and Barney.

the kool-aid man is actually a new model of a robot which is made in inflitrate the saturday morning kids arena. The fluid is actually a nano-computer liquid sustained by a quantum power source. The nano-computer has a processing power of 10^12E * 2 GFLOPS and a memory capacity of 10^14E *2 TBs.

The mobility is controlled by a RISC version of the nano-computing liquid. The kool-aid mans movements are controlled by Nano-transisors. These nano-transistors are connected to the surface of the arms or legs. When he moves the transistors are realigned by the computer liquid processing the information and realigning the transistors.

The kool-aid man was actually created by the ancestor of noonian soong called Paul Soong. In 1960 a top secret expiriment in Area 51 resulted in the creation of a liquid nano-computer and a exoskeleton.

felineki wrote:While on the subject of bizzare food mascots... what exactly IS Grimace?

Grimace represents the child in all of us. That said, he was originally conceived to represent milkshakes. What he actually is though is a mutated beetroot that was exposed to nuclear waste from the Springfield power plant. He then sued C. Montgomery Burns and with the settlement money, the only time in history Mr. Burns was sued succesfully, moved to McDonaldland and had the surgery done to remove his extra 2 arms. Yes, he originally had 4 arms.

He's also part Irish and has an Uncle O'Grimacey. Who is green and has only 2 arms.

A figment of your imagination.


Or the effects of too much sugar on the brain.

what exactly IS Grimace?

Unkillable.

This is the strangest thread ever.

Do you guys think about these things often?

Just how much Kool-Aid did you drink this evening, Spongyblue? Sugar-high indeed...


Anydangway, I'd say he's probably the pitcher, though I'd assume the Kool-Aid he contains is essential in some manner, like if you tricked him into bowing and it spilled out, he'd lose his magic powers or something.

Perhaps the Koolaid man isn't as bizarre as anticipated. Perhaps the liquid form of the Koolaid is nothing more than his equivalent of blood. He is basically the jar, but if you were to remove all of the liquid, he'd be unable to survive. If you were to remove a lot, but not all, he might just pass out.

*bursts through a wall* Oh yeah!

something i want to know?

what the physiology of michelin man?

Dennis Toy wrote:something i want to know?

what the physiology of michelin man?

The missing link between Marshmellow peeps and Marshmellows.

IIRC, there was a commercial way back when with Kool-Aid Man without any liquid. I say he's just the jar.

Grimace is what you get when Kool Aid Man exists between his melting point and his glass transition point.

Dammit, they're onto me!!

OH NO!!!!

Seriously, though, Kool-aid man has bothered me for quite some time, as is apparently the case with a few other people on this board. Good to see I'm not alone. I've concluded in my research that Kool-aid man is, in fact, two seperate symbiotic entities.

Neither needs the other to survive; after his stint with Kool-aid, the container tried to get work as a beer pitcher in a Budweiser commercial, but plans for that gig fell through when Bud instead opted for talking frogs. He ended up getting a job at a local lemonade retailer, and shortly thereafter married his highschool sweetheart, Mrs. Butterworth.

The liquid was featured in the hit movie "Ghostbusters II," though due to the incredible make-up job performed on it, moviegoers did not readily recognize him. After a short stint campaigning for DAMNLNSA (Drinks Against the Mistreatment of Non-Living and Non-Sentient Actors), the juice -- who went by his stage name, "The Juice" -- fled to Reno where he found a comfortable job as the fake blood in a touring comic performance-art rendition of "Snacktime with Sigfield and Roy."

So there ya go.