Optimus Prime Dies of Prostate Cancer

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2005-02-28 02:33pm

Popular Transformer’s Death Calls for Annual Screening

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Pop culture fans are mourning the death of Optimus Prime today as the famous Transformer passed away last night from prostate cancer on the new Cartoon Network Show, “Robot Chicken.”

“When it comes to prostate cancer, there’s more than meets the eye,” National Prostate Cancer Coalition CEO Richard N. Atkins, M.D. said. “Often times when one has symptoms for prostate cancer it’s already in its late stages, that’s why early detection is so important.”

The scene from Robot Chicken, a new show created by Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, showed Optimus Prime with incontinence (or urination) problems followed by a trip to the doctor and then death.

“Being a Tractor Truck, Optimus should have known the importance of check-ups – oil, anti-freeze, spark plugs – the works,” said Atkins. “It comes as such a surprise – my kids loved that guy.”

Optimus Prime, developed and marketed by Hasbro, is the “powerful and courageous leader of the Autobots (the good guys of the Transformer World).” Transformers, a children’s cartoon and toy line, are sentient beings that morph into unsuspecting items like cars and airplanes.

“Planned or not, the skit was a great way to get people talking about prostate cancer at a younger age,” said Atkins. “When it comes to the real thing, prostate cancer is no joke – it’s the most commonly diagnosed non-skin cancer in America.”

One in six men will get prostate cancer in his life but if caught early, the chance of survival is 99.3 percent.

“A prostate specific antigen blood test and a two second look at your tailpipe can save your life,” said Atkins.

Taking care of the biggest thing in men’s health, the National Prostate Cancer Coalition sets the standard for rapidly reducing the burden of prostate cancer on American men and their families through awareness, outreach and advocacy.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2005-02-28 02:43pm

.......

Okay, what the fuck.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2005-02-28 02:46pm

So Galvatron, will you go to the wake?

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2005-02-28 02:52pm

Ok, this pissed me off on multiple levels:

1. I thought they were talking about the voice actor, and I really like him.

2. I have prostate problems, and its not funny.

But, its also stinking hilarious.

Gustav32Vasa · Post by **Gustav32Vasa** » 2005-02-28 02:54pm

Correct me if I'm wrong but isnt OP a Robot, not organic? How can a machine get prostate cancer?

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2005-02-28 02:54pm

Prime was mine to destroy! Mine!!! I've been cheated!

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2005-02-28 02:57pm

I can't speak for the rest of the Decepticons, but...

* Cups hands to ear *

Hear that oh great and powerful Unicron-enhanced leader? That's the sound of nobody giving a s***...

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2005-02-28 03:30pm

I thought the article had something to do with the soldier who renamed himself Optimus Prime.

That being said, you people are weird.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2005-02-28 04:24pm

This is why I don't watch ANY CARTOON NETWORK PROGRAMING on Sundays.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2005-02-28 04:58pm

I knew it was about the program. Which wasn't that funny (I give it points for kitbashing just about every TF, but that's simply because that's my forte).

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2005-02-28 05:31pm

You can see the clip on the Adult Swim website.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2005-02-28 06:17pm

Gustav32Vasa wrote:Correct me if I'm wrong but isnt OP a Robot, not organic? How can a machine get prostate cancer?

That was the whole point. After the skit, they had a little thing talking about how to help prevent prostate cancer. Funny shit...

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2005-02-28 06:39pm

I thought it was about the voice actor. Dammit, who wants to lynch Galv?

Admiral Bravo · Post by **Admiral Bravo** » 2005-02-28 06:42pm

Aya wrote:I thought it was about the voice actor. Dammit, who wants to lynch Galv?

Thats what I thought too until I read on.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2005-02-28 07:44pm

I mean, he really didn't die. He said himself it was a recreation....

Do news reporters not pay attention to the stuff they report on?

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2005-02-28 08:01pm

Yeah, they presented it as a reenactment. The PC Coalition is just using the show as a lever to promote checkups.
Amusingly enough they're using an image of his real death scene in Transformers: The Movie, which also ocurred in 2005.

Prime died for our sins, dammit.