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World's Funniest Cultist Strikes Again!
Posted: 2004-05-03 05:47pm
by fgalkin
Another message from JAMES MCDOUGLASS KWOK WAH LI, BABY GOD, MAN-CHILD, KING OF KINGS, 999, MESSIAH
(I couldn't find the other thread. Sorry)
In the past, I am Christian, but now I am the Creator of the religion called the FORCE. I am not a Christian now. My SuperReligion is called the FORCE. I am going to write a book called the Modern Testament, the last big section in the Bible.
The Old Testament, New Testament and my book, Modern Testament are the Trilogy. In the Bible, it mentions my book, as the Book of Life.
I called up the Department of the Energy of the United States to inform them about a new SuperEnergy, whether they like it or not.
I told this guy called Eric that if we are lucky enough we might see the SECOND SUN in the sky, the experimental proof of the power of the Dragon Bomb in outer space.
IMPORTANT: I am not a Christian. I am the first follower of the religion called the FORCE in the world.
My book called the Modern Testament will explain everything in the Old Testament and the New Testament, in terms of SuperSciences.
{handwritten} King of Kings, 999, Messiah. (212) 964-1897
The Modern Testament, coming to bookstores everywhere this fall.
I'm almost tempted to call him.
Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
Posted: 2004-05-03 05:52pm
by Rye
You should, though I now doubt the man is an insane as he'd have us believe:
I told this guy called Eric
That part piqued my intuition. Still, full credit to him, it's damn funny.
Posted: 2004-05-03 07:26pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
WWYD
What Would Yoda Do?
Posted: 2004-05-03 07:27pm
by General Zod
where's the site located, just out of curiosity? hilarious stuff otherwise.
Posted: 2004-05-03 09:08pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
I say we all encourage him to expand his new "SuperReligion" with more pamphlets, just so everyone can laugh at him some more.
I especially love how he keeps repeating how he's not a Christian anymore, and putting a whole bunch of things after his name, so it ends up like "Me, 999, Messiah, Baby God, King of Kings, Manchild, Fucking Lunatic".
Posted: 2004-05-03 09:12pm
by fgalkin
Darth_Zod wrote:where's the site located, just out of curiosity? hilarious stuff otherwise.
There is no site. Apparently, he is too dumb to use a computer. Badly-made pamphlets are all we have.
Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
Posted: 2004-05-03 09:15pm
by Solauren
I'd say Lucasarts should legally ass-rape this guy, but stupidity isn't a crime....
Posted: 2004-05-04 10:19am
by Peregrin Toker
I'd say Lucasarts should legally ass-rape this guy, but stupidity isn't a crime....
The similarities aren't that numerous.... there's a thing called "The Force" and mention of a Holy Trilogy - but that's about that.
Re: World's Funniest Cultist Strikes Again!
Posted: 2004-05-04 11:58am
by Zaia
JAMES MCDOUGLASS KWOK WAH LI, etc. wrote:I called up the Department of the Energy of the United States to inform them about a new SuperEnergy, whether they like it or not.
Bwahahaha, that's my favourite bit.
Posted: 2004-05-04 12:03pm
by Frank Hipper
This guy's schizophrenic, or a meth burn-out.
Entertaining, but sad, too.
Posted: 2004-05-05 08:08am
by Peregrin Toker
Frank Hipper wrote:This guy's schizophrenic, or a meth burn-out.
Entertaining, but sad, too.
You're sure he's not a hoaxer?
Posted: 2004-05-05 12:22pm
by Frank Hipper
Peregrin Toker wrote:Frank Hipper wrote:This guy's schizophrenic, or a meth burn-out.
Entertaining, but sad, too.
You're sure he's not a hoaxer?
Well, that's not impossible, but it certainly wasn't the first thing that comes to mind.
I imagine him as one step away from being an incoherent, raving homeless person swaddled in 6 layers of clothing on a summer day, clearing the way for himself with an aura of stench as he screams "999, the number of THE FORCE!!!!"...
Posted: 2004-05-05 12:31pm
by General Zod
Peregrin Toker wrote:Frank Hipper wrote:This guy's schizophrenic, or a meth burn-out.
Entertaining, but sad, too.
You're sure he's not a hoaxer?
either way it's entertaining.
Posted: 2004-06-08 05:08pm
by fgalkin
He returns!
THE POWER OF THE {FORCE} WILL CHANGE ALL MEDICINES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IN THE FUTURE. THE CHINESE DRAGON WILL REPLACE THE SNAKE IN THE SYMBOL OF MEDICINE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. 999
CHINESE DRAGON IS THE SYMBOL OF CHINESE EMPEROR. IF EVERYTHING FAILS IN ELIMINATING CANCERS, AIDS, AND OTHER DISEASES, THE ONLY HOPE IS THE {FORCE}
James MacDouglas Kwok Wah Li
KING OF KINGS, MESSIAH
Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
Posted: 2004-06-08 05:18pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
I like how he demonstrates the sheer potential of his SuperReligion by saying "THE CHINESE DRAGON WILL REPLACE THE SNAKE IN THE SYMBOL OF MEDICINE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.", and putting "999" after that for no reason. I say you should personally contact this guy so you can find out more, and tell us about it.