Jack Van Impe, the cheerful harbinger of doom...

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2002-12-27 09:57am

Has anyone else seen this nutball and his wife on the various cable TV God channels? They see signs of the apocalypse in everything and do it with eager-looking grins and hopeful gleams in their vacant eyes. I remember years ago when they did a piece: "Is the miniseries based on Stephen King's The Stand a sign of the End Times?" WTF? Why are so many of these Christian nimrods downright happy with the prospect of the supposedly impending end of the world?

Check this out...

http://www.salon.com/media/media961203.html

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-12-27 10:18am

FOX host their bullshit in my hometown. Late at night of course.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-12-27 12:00pm

They're not the first hucksters to try and milk their vision of the end times. They're charlatans and most likely hypocrites. All they did was take and exploit a subject that seems to fascinate people and run with it.

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2002-12-27 12:36pm

Many of these fundy christians have a large amount of paranoia mixed in with the fact that they tend towards a "warrior christians" view of the world, which you can see from the way the speak and write. This gives many of them a hatred of other beliefes, which challange in any way their own, very shaky view of God and the world. Since Armageddon is supposedly the last battle in which God triumphs over evil and the entire world converts to christianity or is sent to suffer in hell for eternity, they look forward to it because they can't destroy those they see as enemies now, but believe God will then.

It's like the kid in the neighborhood who says to all the other kids, "My daddy can beat your daddy up." It's childish, obnoxious, and stupid.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-27 01:48pm

I've seen this guy on cable over the years. Notice how he speaks so quickly it easy to miss the details of what he is saying?

As for his wife, she shows all these newspaper articles that frankly I find very hard to see any kind of linkage. Yet she seems to think they all point to impending doom.

I had to laugh, during the El Nino of 97-98 Van Impe said it was a sign on the impending Armagedon because floods were predicted by the bible.

Hahaha, you dumbass. El Nino is regular event in the Pacific. Its been happening for centuries. Floods come and go. Dumbass.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-27 02:42pm

This Apocalypse nonsense is so big, Time Magazine did an article on it.

Whenever people want to yell about the Apocalypse, they turn to the Bible, and use that as proof. However, what makes the Bible any more literal "word of God" than the Koran, Torah, or the script to Casablanca?

Also, did you ever notie how they always put the Apocalypse within their lifetimes? It's a fundie scare tactic. If they put the End of Days at 3500 AD, people won't worry, but if you say it will happen in 15 years, all of the gullible people that listen to them will brown themselves.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2002-12-27 03:08pm

well, hell, if your expecting the apocolypse, you may as well get involved in causing it.

such is my ambition.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-12-27 03:09pm

I used too believe his shit. Ah, those were some fucked up days.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-27 03:32pm

I remember in high school some guy said California would fall into the ocean in, I think 1988. Some of his followers actually sold their properties. Dumbasses.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-27 04:01pm

Him and the "This week in Bible Prophesy" seems to think that EVERYTHING points to "the end is niegh."

I am waiting for someone to sue his ass becuase their parents took some "jim jones kool-aid" because Jack said the end was comming.

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-27 06:29pm

Captain Lennox wrote:I used too believe his shit. Ah, those were some fucked up days.

You too, huh?

My mom still believes his crap. (shakes head sadly.)

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-12-27 06:50pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:well, hell, if your expecting the apocolypse, you may as well get involved in causing it.

such is my ambition.

You support Israel I presume?

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-12-27 07:09pm

Antediluvian wrote:
Captain Lennox wrote:I used too believe his shit. Ah, those were some fucked up days.
You too, huh?

My mom still believes his crap. (shakes head sadly.)

Ah, yes fformer Fundie I prseume?*Throws a dime bag* You'll need it once you think about the shit you believed. My Mom believes it aswell though in her arguments with me(I'm posing as a Moderate Christian currently) she has no basis and changes the subject. My Dad is the one who started watching though he is a hypocrite. Fundamentalist trying too hide his porno addiction. I'm no fool.

Anyways, by 2024 the Rapture shall come.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2002-12-27 07:45pm

Captain Lennox wrote:
Antediluvian wrote:
Captain Lennox wrote:I used too believe his shit. Ah, those were some fucked up days.
You too, huh?

My mom still believes his crap. (shakes head sadly.)
Ah, yes fformer Fundie I prseume?*Throws a dime bag* You'll need it once you think about the shit you believed. My Mom believes it aswell though in her arguments with me(I'm posing as a Moderate Christian currently) she has no basis and changes the subject. My Dad is the one who started watching though he is a hypocrite. Fundamentalist trying too hide his porno addiction. I'm no fool. Anyways, by 2024 the Rapture shall come.

I used to be a FundyKid™ when I was little, but nothing works quite like puberty and realizing you're gay to completely smash any Fundy beliefs you might have. My finding out about Wicca and other assorted fun pagan things was the finisher. Unfortunately sometimes the homosexuality and Wicca things don't work, with messy results. My boyfriend is a Fundy. He doesn't believe in evolution. He believes the whole "Jesus Christ is the Savior Accept Him Or Burn" crap. I haven't the heart to tell him I'm agnostic/atheist yet. Ouch....

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2002-12-27 08:30pm

Don't you wish that we'd simply have the old-style huckster TV ministers like Rev. Ike who used the Bible to prove that God wants you to be RICH and promised fulfillment with a donation so that the good Reverend could maintain his fleet of pink-and-gold Cadillacs?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, did you ever notie how they always put the Apocalypse within their lifetimes? It's a fundie scare tactic. If they put the End of Days at 3500 AD, people won't worry, but if you say it will happen in 15 years, all of the gullible people that listen to them will brown themselves.

The Church Of The SubGenius prophesied that the aliens from Planet X were supposed to descend upon Earth on June 4th, 1998. When X-Day failed to materialise, they explained that when Bob first received the revelation, he had written it down on paper, then initially rejected the message and tore it up, then taped it back together and founded his religion on it. Turned out that Bob fucked up and taped the note up backwads. X-Day is actually supposed to fall sometime around the year 8991.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-12-27 09:36pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Captain Lennox wrote:
Antediluvian wrote: You too, huh?

My mom still believes his crap. (shakes head sadly.)
Ah, yes fformer Fundie I prseume?*Throws a dime bag* You'll need it once you think about the shit you believed. My Mom believes it aswell though in her arguments with me(I'm posing as a Moderate Christian currently) she has no basis and changes the subject. My Dad is the one who started watching though he is a hypocrite. Fundamentalist trying too hide his porno addiction. I'm no fool. Anyways, by 2024 the Rapture shall come.
I used to be a FundyKid™ when I was little, but nothing works quite like puberty and realizing you're gay to completely smash any Fundy beliefs you might have. My finding out about Wicca and other assorted fun pagan things was the finisher. Unfortunately sometimes the homosexuality and Wicca things don't work, with messy results. My boyfriend is a Fundy. He doesn't believe in evolution. He believes the whole "Jesus Christ is the Savior Accept Him Or Burn" crap. I haven't the heart to tell him I'm agnostic/atheist yet. Ouch....

Yes, jerking off did wonders breaking the barrier. Unless I stopped which I did not.

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-12-27 09:43pm

His wife looks like she's got a single digit IQ. Scary stupid.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-12-27 09:52pm

Some anal would cure her of that.

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2002-12-27 10:11pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:Some anal would cure her of that.

Ah anal. Does it's wonderous power ever end?

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-27 10:12pm

C.S.Strowbridge wrote:His wife looks like she's got a single digit IQ. Scary stupid.

She's not the only one.

Ol' Jack and that other guy on his show are pretty damn stupid as well.

And does Rexella Van Impe remind anyone of Tammy Faye Baker?

Scary.

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-27 10:15pm

Captain Lennox wrote:
Antediluvian wrote:
Captain Lennox wrote:I used too believe his shit. Ah, those were some fucked up days.
You too, huh?

My mom still believes his crap. (shakes head sadly.)
Ah, yes fformer Fundie I prseume?*Throws a dime bag* You'll need it once you think about the shit you believed. My Mom believes it aswell though in her arguments with me(I'm posing as a Moderate Christian currently) she has no basis and changes the subject. My Dad is the one who started watching though he is a hypocrite. Fundamentalist trying too hide his porno addiction. I'm no fool. Anyways, by 2024 the Rapture shall come.

You presume correctly, though my seven-foot girlfriend started me on the way to recovery a few years back.

Damn, I'm glad to be out of that shit.

Insipid fundamentalism.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2002-12-28 01:24am

Back during the original Earth Day people held signs during the rallies saying "R.I.P. 1990" with a picture of the planet; this sort of scaremongering is common in all mass-delusion groupings.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-28 02:19pm

C.S.Strowbridge wrote:His wife looks like she's got a single digit IQ. Scary stupid.

And his wife's pretty generous too. She was willing to share her only brain cell with her husband!