Good story... to bad it would never happen

[guyver]

In this season of giving, this is pretty good.

>> >
>> > At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves
>>learning-disabled
>> > children, the father of one of the school's students delivered a
>>speech
>> > that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
>> >
>> >
>> > After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a
>> > question.
>> >
>> >
>> > "Everything God does is done with perfection. Yet, my son, Shay,
>>cannot
>> > learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things
>>as other
>> > children do. Where is God's plan reflected in my son?"
>> >
>> >
>> > The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I
>> > believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child
>>like Shay
>> > into the world, an opportunity to realize the Divine Plan
>>presents
>> > itself. And it comes in the way people treat that child."
>> >
>> >
>> > Then, he told the following story: Shay and his father had
>>walked past a
>> > park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay
>>asked, "Do
>> > you think they will let me play?" Shay's father knew that most
>>boys
>> > would not want him on their team. But the father understood that
>>if his
>> > son were allowed to play it would give him a much-needed sense
>>of
>> > belonging.
>> >
>> >
>> > Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked
>>if Shay
>> > could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his
>>teammates.
>> > Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We
>>are
>> > losing by six runs, and the game is in the eighth inning. I
>>guess he can
>> > be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth
>>inning."
>> > In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few
>>runs but
>> > was still behind by three.
>> >
>> >
>> > At the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played
>>in the
>> > outfield. Although no hits came his way, he was obviously
>>ecstatic just
>> > to be on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved
>>to him
>> > from the stands.
>> >
>> >
>> > In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
>>Now, with
>> > two outs and bases loaded, the potential winning run was on
>>base. Shay
>> > was scheduled to be the next at-bat. Would the team actually let
>>Shay
>> > bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?
>> >
>> >
>> > Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit
>>was all
>> > but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat
>> > properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay
>>stepped up
>> > to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in
>>softly so
>> > Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch
>>came and
>> > Shay swung clumsily and missed.
>> >
>> >
>> > The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball
>>softly
>> > toward Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and
>>hit a slow
>> > ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft
>>grounder and
>> > could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay
>>would have
>> > been out and that would have ended the game.
>> >
>> >
>> > Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to
>>right
>> > field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started
>>yelling,
>> > "Shay, run to first. Run to first." Never in his life had Shay
>>ever made
>> > it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and
>> > startled. Everyone yelled "Run to second, run to second!" By the
>>time
>> > Shay was rounding first base, the right fielder had the ball. He
>>could
>> > have thrown the ball to the second baseman for a tag. But the
>>right
>> > fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions had been, so he
>>threw
>> > the ball high and far over the third baseman's head. Shay ran
>>toward
>> > second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the
>>bases
>> > toward home.
>> >
>> >
>> > As Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him,
>>turned
>> > him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!"
>>As Shay
>> > rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay!
>>Run
>> > home!" Shay ran home, stepped on home plate and was cheered as
>>the
>> > hero, for hitting a "grand slam" and winning the game for his
>>team.
>> >
>> >
>> > "That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down
>>his face,
>> > "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of the Divine
>>Plan into
>> > this world."


Cute story, but I do not think it would have happened. But still nice to think it might happen......one day

[DocHorror]

Thats one of those real heart-felt-tear-jerker-storiesTM

I honestly hope it DID happen...

Its nice to have your faith in the goodness of man reaffirmed every now and again...

[haas mark]

With today's society, and how kids are brought up today....*sigh* If it ever did happen, it osn't likely to happen again, any time soon. What a shame.

[neoolong]

Nice story.




Just one comment though. I am getting pretty damn tired of the good things that people do be attributed to God. People can do nice things all on their own. Don't lessen that by saying it was part of God's will.

[Sardaukar]

[Howedar]

I suck as baseball, but that doesn't mean that people make special concessions to me so I can be successful. Isn't the world setting this kid up for a failure, in which he succeeds out of proportion to his ability because people happen to be nice? Sure, letting him hit the ball, I can see that. But intentionally losing the game to be nice to somebody is not doing them a favor in the long run.

[pecker]

I suck as baseball, but that doesn't mean that people make special concessions to me so I can be successful. Isn't the world setting this kid up for a failure, in which he succeeds out of proportion to his ability because people happen to be nice? Sure, letting him hit the ball, I can see that. But intentionally losing the game to be nice to somebody is not doing them a favor in the long run.

It's just a game. They made him feel happy and important, which he probably didn't get much. Trust me, learning disabled kids know SOMETHING is wrong with them, they have few delusions.

You may suck as baseball, but this kid sucks at EVERYTHING. Think about it.

[XPViking]

Very true pecker.

XPViking

[Howedar]

It's just a game. They made him feel happy and important, which he probably didn't get much. Trust me, learning disabled kids know SOMETHING is wrong with them, they have few delusions.

Yes, but teaching the kid that people will bend over backwards to let him be successful doesn't seem like it would be a very good lesson to teach. Depends on the age of the kid, I suppose.

You may suck as baseball, but this kid sucks at EVERYTHING. Think about it.

And teaching him that he can depend on others for success makes this better somehow?

Besides, if that kid were me, it would reek of bullshit to me. It seems like such actions would come off more patronizing and condescending than kind.

*EDIT* This is not to doubt the kindness of the baseball players though. */EDIT*

[XPViking]

Howedar,

I think I see your concern. Genuine success should be commended, while "false" success is wrong and could lead to a dependance on others for success. But I believe you are failing to see the bigger picture here. The sense of belonging and success that Shay felt that outweighs any posssible negative lessons that he might learn. I really doubt that Shay was able to discern that his success came about through others "bending over backwards" thereby diluting his successful efforts.

Kind of reminds me when I used to play checkers with my father. He would let me win the games when I was younger. Then as I got older he wouldn't hold back. One day I asked him, "Are you letting me win?" He said, "Now I'm not, but when you were younger I did. I did it because if you never have a taste of success at all, then you would have never tried."

XPViking

[neoolong]

I am reminded of a story I heard.

There was a guy that wasn't good at baseball either. He was in a game and sucked badly, like above, so the pitcher threw the ball really slowly so the guy could hit it. He caught the ball and threw it back. He didn't want to be treated any differently than anybody else, despite any handicaps.

So basically it depends on the situation. Kinda like what XPViking said.

[Howedar]

Howedar,

I think I see your concern. Genuine success should be commended, while "false" success is wrong and could lead to a dependance on others for success. But I believe you are failing to see the bigger picture here. The sense of belonging and success that Shay felt that outweighs any posssible negative lessons that he might learn. I really doubt that Shay was able to discern that his success came about through others "bending over backwards" thereby diluting his successful efforts.

Kind of reminds me when I used to play checkers with my father. He would let me win the games when I was younger. Then as I got older he wouldn't hold back. One day I asked him, "Are you letting me win?" He said, "Now I'm not, but when you were younger I did. I did it because if you never have a taste of success at all, then you would have never tried."

XPViking

Again, it depends on the age of the kid.

This is kind of an issue I care about; I had a friend waaay back in early elementery school who was deaf, and the teachers bent over backwards to make her succeed, their efforts far outweighing any difficulties she had from her deafness. That kid absolutely floundered in middle school, because she had learned to expect success to be handed to her because she had a minor disability.

[Coyote]

This may, however, be the only success the kid ever really sees. Depending on how cognizent he is, he may believe all this. In that case, even "unearned" success may give him a psychological boost out of proportion to the situation.

If his father is smart, he'll use this as an impetus to steer the boy towards Special Olympics achievements-- that way he won't be 'set up' with false success and will mix with folks that he does have an even chance for 'real' success with.

[Sindai]

This story is actually in snopes.com (an urban legends archive)'s collection under "Glurges." It's listed as an item of "undetermined or ambiguous veracity." Here is the article commenting on it, which raises many of the same concerns Howedar has:

Origins: The story quoted above is Perfection at the Plate, a work of Rabbi Paysach Krohn which appeared in his 1999 book, Echoes of the Maggid. Echoes is a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" type work, described by its publishers as "heartwarming stories and parables of wisdom and inspiration." It is the fifth such tome in the Maggid series. Rabbi Krohn says that the story is true and that he was told it by Shaya's father, who is a friend of his. (The "Chush" school mentioned in the piece is the Jewish Center for Special Education on Kent Street in Brooklyn, a school that caters to Yiddish-speaking children of Orthodox Hasidic Jews. )

The true value of any inspirational tale lies not in its veracity (or lack thereof) but in its ability to move those who read it to improve some facet of themselves. As with many other glurges, we find this story's premise a poor one, and its message one likely to do more harm than good.

What to make of an incitement to bestow upon the disabled to a pat on the head instead of granting them acceptance for who they are, even when that means accepting the limitations placed upon them by their infirmities? Has a disabled child who has been conditioned to believe he's good at baseball somehow been helped, or has he been set up for a greater hurt when he comes to realize he's been made the object of pity and an accomplishment he'd been praising himself for was just a sham?

Not everyone reacts well to having the rules of life changed on them in mid-game, so to speak. An experience from my sister's pre-school days might help illustrate this point.

As was my sister's wont, some mornings she would toddle after our brother when he headed off to school. She was always greeted warmly by the teacher and set down with crayons and paper to draw pictures (a ruse to keep her quiet) while the rest of the children went on with their lessons. When she proudly presented her drawings to the teacher, they never failed to earn gold stars, sometimes even rows of them! (According to our brother, she was never shy about demanding more stars. Loudly.) Her interruptions and demands were always immediately addressed, and the class learned to regard her as a lovable, if annoying, mascot who showed up every now and then but mercifully never stayed long. ("But always too long," our mortified brother would report.) When she tired of scribbling, singing, and cavorting, my dear sis would toddle back home, secure in the knowledge that this mysterious "school" thing was all sorts of fun, and it would be even more fun when she was grown up enough to be part of it officially.

That view changed on her very first day as a real student. Riding on the bus was fun, but nobody acted all that delighted to see her when she got to school. Worse, there were no gold stars for anything she did. When she piped up to sing a song, the teacher actually shushed her. She was told to stay in her seat instead of running around the room as she usually did. When she demanded crayons, she was told it was time to do lessons and that in future she had to put her hand up when she wanted something instead of just screaming it out. Confused and fed up, she tried to leave, but the teacher sat her back down! She was then told she couldn't leave, that she had to stay there for the whole day. Worse, she was told that if she didn't behave, she'd be taken to the principal. (She wasn't exactly sure what that was, but it sounded impressively ominous.)

That confused little girl grew up to be a young lady who dropped out of school in eighth grade. She never got over the idea that teachers lived to pick on her and that all these rules they came up with served no purpose other than to make her life miserable. Possibly a different beginning might have led to a different outcome: a brilliant, creative girl going on to complete high school and maybe even university. Maybe. But we'll never know because these other what-might-have-beens were killed with kindness before they even had their chance.

As amusing a story as my sister's experience may be, the pain she experienced was real. What that child went through shouldn't be visited upon another, especially upon one already burdened with limitations. Kindness is all well and good, but not when the expression of it sets up the recipient for greater harm later. The less abled don't require our pity -- they want acceptance, to be seen as viable and valuable members of the world. Lying down for them doesn't accomplish this; it just reinforces the belief they can't succeed on their own.

Can a disabled child hit a baseball as well as a perfectly-abled one? No. But can that same child learn to work within his disabilities to the point of achieving real accomplishments he can take honest pride in? Absolutely. And that beats all the pity-driven home runs in the world.

Barbara "killed with kindness" Mikkelson

[pecker]

It's just a game. They made him feel happy and important, which he probably didn't get much. Trust me, learning disabled kids know SOMETHING is wrong with them, they have few delusions.

Yes, but teaching the kid that people will bend over backwards to let him be successful doesn't seem like it would be a very good lesson to teach. Depends on the age of the kid, I suppose.

You may suck as baseball, but this kid sucks at EVERYTHING. Think about it.

And teaching him that he can depend on others for success makes this better somehow?

Besides, if that kid were me, it would reek of bullshit to me. It seems like such actions would come off more patronizing and condescending than kind.

*EDIT* This is not to doubt the kindness of the baseball players though. */EDIT*

We aren't teaching the kid people bend over backwards. All his life, he's going to be pushed down, made fun of, and basically do everything sub-par. This one event will not change his views on that. What it WILL do is give very real hope that some people in the world will be nice to him. That to some people, he will be worth something.

[salm]

i depends on: if he´s disabled enough that he wont be able to sense the bullshit they´re giving him, let him win.
if he can recognize that they treat him differently than the others -> let him win the game, then they should just treat him like everybody else and give him a big K.

[The Mozz]

http://www.theonion.com/onion3844/very_ ... orces.html

As usual, The Onion guides us in the right direction. An interesting offshoot of this discussion is special education, as my father's best friend is a teacher in that department. An offer was made to the Board of Education in our town to try to get these kids into trade schools instead of leaving them to wallow in the wasteful, tax-payer funded, glorified day care. The mentally challenged, like all other students, have needs. And those needs, whether it be the valedictorian "needing" to learn with the best professors possible or the aforementioned special needs students, need to be met. I'm a strict proponent of the statement that "Not every high school student should go to college." My university is one of the top schools in the United States, and we accept slow kids as part of these bullshit "programs" to make them feel accepted. IMO, these kids need to be taught a trade more appropriate for their intellectual level, not take part in some staged act that they are on par with other students.

"So, lemmee get this straight: We're going to catch up to the other students by going slower than them??" - Bart Simpson

[Zoink]

I have to agree with Howedar....

The story seems to imply that the kid would only have been accepted if he had won. That he would only have felt self-worth if he was the star.

I better lesson would have been for the kids to let him play and congratulate him for doing his best. He doesn't need to be the star player to be "one of the guys". We needn't disillusion him about his situation, let him feel proud for what he *can* do.

[salm]

I have to agree with Howedar....

The story seems to imply that the kid would only have been accepted if he had won. That he would only have felt self-worth if he was the star.

I better lesson would have been for the kids to let him play and congratulate him for doing his best. He doesn't need to be the star player to be "one of the guys". We needn't disillusion him about his situation, let him feel proud for what he *can* do.

right. he was happy like a honeycakehorse (englishforrunaways) when he participated like a regular player. no need to let him be the star. he´ll notice why they let him win some time. he´ll notice that it wasnt his achievement and the whole experience will turn negative.

[pecker]

Have you guys ever heard of over-analyzing something?

[neoolong]

Have you guys ever heard of over-analyzing something?

No. What's that supposed to mean?

[Coyote]

Since this does, indeed, to be a urban legend I'm not too surprised, but the sentiments expressed here about "how much slack is too much" are relevant. And yes, I agree that these kids/people should be allowed to operate to the best of their abilities in appropriate fields or places-- it is disruptive and inefficient to pretend that they're able to perform at par with everyone else.

(I'm just glad Grand Admiral Prawn isn't here).

[Lord Pounder]

If this story is true i like it.

I disagree that the other boys bent over backwards to make him feel important. They gave him a helping hand to get there, but he ran the field hiself. it's wee things like that that will give disabled people the confidance to try and live a live not diminated by their disability. Stories like this restore my faith in humanity.

[salm]

If this story is true i like it.

I disagree that the other boys bent over backwards to make him feel important. They gave him a helping hand to get there, but he ran the field hiself. it's wee things like that that will give disabled people the confidance to try and live a live not diminated by their disability. Stories like this restore my faith in humanity.

a helping hand would be more like letting him hit the ball or give him a base on balls so he gets to the first base. a homerun isnt giving him a helbing hand but its more like giving him a helping Corellian Transport.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Yep, that's a real hot-dog-and-a-beer, gets-you-all-choked-up yarn. Real Disney, and probably pure bullshit. But it's nice bullshit, I guess.