Your Favorite Rule of Acquisition

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-08-20 02:00pm

Of the 285 Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, which one is your favorite?

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-08-20 02:24pm

Check my sig.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-08-20 02:27pm

First I'd have to familiarize myself with the Rules of Acquisition. *Goes off to find a list. There's gotta be one somewhere on the 'Net.*

Luzifer's right hand · Post by **Luzifer's right hand** » 2004-08-20 02:37pm

16: A deal is a deal.

Quadlok · Post by **Quadlok** » 2004-08-20 03:27pm

The 109th rule: Dignity and an empty sack is worth a sack.

also:
34th: War is good for business.
35th: Peace is good for business.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-08-20 03:34pm

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you lose a steady customer." (don't recall which number offhand.)

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-08-20 03:46pm

Rule 004 » A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.

Not because its my favorite, but what does that have to do with acquisition? I mean, really?

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-08-20 03:48pm

Now, my favorite so far (I'm not done with the list yet) has got to be this:

Rule 024 » Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.

Edit: And for those like me, who don't know the Rules: The Rules.

Edit 2:

Rule 076 » Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".

Rule 078 » When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.

Rule 079 » Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.

Rule 089 » Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.

Rule 096 » For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there's not).

Rule 104 » Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).

Rule 111 » Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-08-20 03:57pm

Luzifer's right hand wrote:16: A deal is a deal.

until a better one comes along

Rule 076 : Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2004-08-20 04:15pm

Some of those rules are non canon

Some of these rules came from the Internet Competition, "The Rules of Netquisition",
this contest has been run several times on the rec.arts.startrek.current newsgroup.

While not everyone excepts them as true rules, they are included for the none-geeks,
when we have a little more free time - these "Net" rules will be marked as such...

Luzifer's right hand · Post by **Luzifer's right hand** » 2004-08-20 04:25pm

consequences wrote:
Luzifer's right hand wrote:16: A deal is a deal.
until a better one comes along

This addition to the rule is non-canon afaik.

The Nomad · Post by **The Nomad** » 2004-08-20 04:45pm

Luzifer's right hand wrote:
consequences wrote:
Luzifer's right hand wrote:16: A deal is a deal.
until a better one comes along
This addition to the rule is non-canon afaik.

I believe the correct rule is : "A deal is a deal... but only between Ferengi". It's in the episode in which Quark is told he's terminally ill and sells his body, then it turns out it was a mistake.

Laird · Post by **Laird** » 2004-08-20 05:17pm

Rule 001 » Once you have their money, you never give it back

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-08-20 05:56pm

consequences wrote:
Luzifer's right hand wrote:16: A deal is a deal.
until a better one comes along

Rule 076 : Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".

That's one of my top three favorites. Here are the other two:

Rule 111 » Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].

Rule 214 » Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-08-20 06:39pm

Rule 113 » Always have sex with the boss.

This one is funny, because as point out by the book where they had "Tales of the Rules of Aquistion" (so something like that), Quark points out that this rule is rarely practiced because Ferengi businessman and therefore their bosses are always male.

But my favorite is:

Rule 104 » Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).

This one is funny because it's the only one written by a non-Ferengi:

Rule 095 » Expand or die.

According to the same book mentioned above, the Breen that sold the Ferengi the warp drive bought both their ice caps (which they didn't use anyway) and several of the Ferengis more icy moons with it. Then the Breen uttered the words "Expand or die" then left.

FTeik · Post by **FTeik** » 2004-08-20 06:48pm

When did the Ferengi made first contact with the Vulcans, if those are mentioned in rule #79?

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2004-08-20 07:09pm

Alcohol is the Lubricant between costemers and there Money
War is good for Buisness
Peace is good fo Buisness
It Never Hurts to suck up to the boss

Also the RoA were suposed to be writen down ten thousand years back. That Vulcan rule means that the Ferengi have had warp drive for quite some time.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-08-20 08:15pm

Zor wrote:Also the RoA were suposed to be writen down ten thousand years back. That Vulcan rule means that the Ferengi have had warp drive for quite some time.

Or that it had an editorial update. Or the publishing company that prints copies says that they are tens of thousands of years old to sell more. Or a dozen other things.

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2004-08-20 08:45pm

Zor wrote:Alcohol is the Lubricant between costemers and there Money
War is good for Buisness
Peace is good fo Buisness
It Never Hurts to suck up to the boss

Also the RoA were suposed to be writen down ten thousand years back. That Vulcan rule means that the Ferengi have had warp drive for quite some time.

It's probably an addition. Nice try though...

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2004-08-20 09:05pm

They mentioned every once in a while the Nagus would re-write the rules for the modern ferengi.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-08-20 09:17pm

I think the best explaination is that the current Rules are actually fairly recent and the "tens of thousands of years old thing" is a marketing gimmick.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-08-20 10:43pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:I think the best explaination is that the current Rules are actually fairly recent and the "tens of thousands of years old thing" is a marketing gimmick.

That's certainly in character for the Ferengi - exaggerate the age to increase its value.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-08-21 01:32am

#211: Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-08-21 03:54am

Rule of Aquisition numer 125th : You cant make a deal with the dead

I remember this one from a TNG episode. It is somewhat different from the one on the list.

Rule of Aquisition number 34 : War is good for buisness

I love when the Fenengi say this after stealing a war damaged starship in Armada 2.

jubjub27 · Post by **jubjub27** » 2004-08-21 03:58am

TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES LIKE FAMILY:EXPLOIT THEM