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A Star Trek interpretation of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".

Felix is a Vulcan, Oscar is a Klingon.



(yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

Enola Straight wrote: (yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

ok..
*points and laughs at the idiot*

Hahahahahhaahaa

How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

Darth Wong wrote:How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

Huzzah! Best idea I've heard all day!

Wouldn't trust Klingons to do a good enough job... How about 90 minutes of B and B floating through space in suits with holes in it, talking about plots while they slowly die? Granted, sadistic and disturbed, but man would that sell tickets.

why not have B&B assimilated by the borg collective instead? or would the borg not consider them suitable lifeforms for assimilation?

The Borg would immedietly be caught up in having to write terrible fanfictions involving gaping chasms of continuity error. Sort of liek what B and B have done to the production staff...

I'm thinking Berman and Braga being brutally sodomized by Janeway, with increasingly painful strap-ons.

And then, to counteract the horror of seeing Janeway naked, there would be a massive lesbian orgy of all the Star Trek actresses who are still hot.

Darth Wong wrote:How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

If its the old TOS Commie Klingons then I'm so there

Uraniun235 wrote:I'm thinking Berman and Braga being brutally sodomized by Janeway, with increasingly painful strap-ons.

Unfortunatly a fantasy of theirs, most likely.

And then, to counteract the horror of seeing Janeway naked, there would be a massive lesbian orgy of all the Star Trek actresses who are still hot.

So 7 of 9 and Hoshi going lesbo...well it won't counter act the horror of before but it'll be a nice diversion.

i still say Troi is fuckable. and at this age a MILF if anything.

[size=0]yes, i do realize i have an obsession. deal with it.[/size]

Here's my script for Star Trek XI: The Wrath Of The Fans

INT. STAR TREK OFFICES

Berman: Who do you think we should introduce to Enterprise this weekend? Species 8472 or the Kazon?

Braga: I'm going with the Kazon. While we're at it, let's make it so that Neelix travels back in time!

Berman: Excellent idea!

(Some random flunky walks into the office)

Flunky: Delivery for you two!

Berman: Thanks! (Flunky leaves) Ah, it's from the fans!

Braga: I wonder if it's another dead rat? My snake looked pretty hungry this morning.

(They open the box, and pull out what looks like a personal organiser)

Berman: Oh, a PDA! Bless them, we'll reward them with another Borg episode!

Braga: Hold on, something's coming up on the screen! (reads) "This is how an auto-destruct system works, fuckers!"

(There is a bright flash of light)

INT. E-NIL BRIDGE, MOVIE ERA

(The bridge is darkly lit, and we can faintly hear the computer voice in the background)

Braga: What the hell?!

Berman: This looks familiar... What's the computer saying?

(They move nearer to listen)

Computer Voice: 25... 24... 23...

Berman: Oh, FUCK! This is the Enterprise bridge in TSFS!

Braga: Hmm... something bad happened to the Enterprise in that one didn't it?

Berman: Yes, they self destructed it!!

Braga: HUH?! They used the self-destruct and it actually worked? Were they smoking crack?

Berman: Shiiit, what was the disarm code?

(They think, but eventually Torg and the other Kingons enter and point their disruptors at the pair)

Torg: Ha! Surrender, human scum!

Berman: You don't understand, we're...

Torg: Shut up or die!

Braga: We'll all die if...

(Torg shoots Braga, vaporising him)

Torg: (to Berman) The same thing will happen to you if you open your mouth!

Kruge: (Over communicator) What's going on over there?

Torg: We captured a pair of humans. One of them wouldn't shut up, so I killed him.

Kruge: Anyone else there?

Torg: No, the bridge appears to be run by computer. It is the only thing speaking.

Kruge: Speaking? Let me hear!

Computer: 9... 8... 7...

Kruge: GET OUT!! GET OUTTA THERE!!! GET OUT!!

(Too late! The bridge explodes, obliterating Berman and the Klingons. Seconds later, the whole ship breaks apart and burns up)

Majel Barret's voice: "Auto-destruct offline" my ass.

THE END!

That's brilliant.

Not to spoil everyone's fun, nor act like a mod, but I'd just like to remind everyone that we can probably talk about a movie in which B&B die, but not actually killing them IRL. No comment on which I'd prefer, of course.

Enola Straight wrote:A Star Trek interpretation of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".

Felix is a Vulcan, Oscar is a Klingon.



(yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

I could see Mad TV during something like it. I think it could be funny.

Well, getting back to Uranium's excellent idea (not the one involving Janeway), I picture Seven and the evil version of Kira in a sexy catfight over who gets to work over a tied-up Counselor Troi first, while she watches them in the mirrored ceiling of the room. Given the choice, I'd forgo watching B+B suffer to see something those three go at it.

I have an idea. Do a whole movie Sans B&B all about Kronos. Why does it always have to be federation? a movie/series from an alien races POV would be most welcome/entertaining.

That is an excellent idea.

Well, if we're not going to do a movie about Berman and Braga being killed and mutilated, then I suggest plan B. Plan B involves Sandra Bullock and K-Y jelly.

Personally I've found K-Y to be an inferior product Mike. Surely you can do better!

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Personally I've found K-Y to be an inferior product Mike. Surely you can do better!

ID Glide is smoother, but sometimes you want a little bit of extra friction, so you can take her breath away with a good thrust

Enola Straight wrote:A Star Trek interpretation of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".

Felix is a Vulcan, Oscar is a Klingon.



(yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

Felix is a human fom Bridgecommander but he is so boring people can mistake him for a vulcan like you.

Darth Wong wrote:How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

Only after the Klingons overrun the entire 1st Cavalry Division with nothing but Bat'Leths.

What about the Duras sisters, Janeway, and a tube of K-Y Jelly?

Jeremy wrote:What about the Duras sisters, Janeway, and a tube of K-Y Jelly?

Scratch the Duras sisters and Janeway out,and instead we have Seven,Troi Belanna,Saavik,K`Lheyr(sp),the half Klingon half Romulan chick,Hoshi and T-Pol all chick orgy