Idea for new Star Trek movie...

Enola Straight · Post by **Enola Straight** » 2004-01-23 05:25pm

A Star Trek interpretation of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".

Felix is a Vulcan, Oscar is a Klingon.

(yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2004-01-23 05:26pm

Enola Straight wrote: (yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

ok..
*points and laughs at the idiot*

Hahahahahhaahaa

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-01-23 05:36pm

How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-01-23 05:44pm

Darth Wong wrote:How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

Huzzah! Best idea I've heard all day!

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2004-01-23 06:02pm

Wouldn't trust Klingons to do a good enough job... How about 90 minutes of B and B floating through space in suits with holes in it, talking about plots while they slowly die? Granted, sadistic and disturbed, but man would that sell tickets.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-01-23 06:52pm

why not have B&B assimilated by the borg collective instead? or would the borg not consider them suitable lifeforms for assimilation?

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2004-01-23 07:07pm

The Borg would immedietly be caught up in having to write terrible fanfictions involving gaping chasms of continuity error. Sort of liek what B and B have done to the production staff...

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-01-23 07:28pm

I'm thinking Berman and Braga being brutally sodomized by Janeway, with increasingly painful strap-ons.

And then, to counteract the horror of seeing Janeway naked, there would be a massive lesbian orgy of all the Star Trek actresses who are still hot.

VF5SS · Post by **VF5SS** » 2004-01-23 07:32pm

Darth Wong wrote:How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

If its the old TOS Commie Klingons then I'm so there

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-01-23 07:34pm

Uraniun235 wrote:I'm thinking Berman and Braga being brutally sodomized by Janeway, with increasingly painful strap-ons.

Unfortunatly a fantasy of theirs, most likely.

And then, to counteract the horror of seeing Janeway naked, there would be a massive lesbian orgy of all the Star Trek actresses who are still hot.

So 7 of 9 and Hoshi going lesbo...well it won't counter act the horror of before but it'll be a nice diversion.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-01-23 07:37pm

i still say Troi is fuckable. and at this age a MILF if anything.

[size=0]yes, i do realize i have an obsession. deal with it.[/size]

DaveJB · Post by **DaveJB** » 2004-01-23 08:35pm

Here's my script for Star Trek XI: The Wrath Of The Fans

INT. STAR TREK OFFICES

Berman: Who do you think we should introduce to Enterprise this weekend? Species 8472 or the Kazon?

Braga: I'm going with the Kazon. While we're at it, let's make it so that Neelix travels back in time!

Berman: Excellent idea!

(Some random flunky walks into the office)

Flunky: Delivery for you two!

Berman: Thanks! (Flunky leaves) Ah, it's from the fans!

Braga: I wonder if it's another dead rat? My snake looked pretty hungry this morning.

(They open the box, and pull out what looks like a personal organiser)

Berman: Oh, a PDA! Bless them, we'll reward them with another Borg episode!

Braga: Hold on, something's coming up on the screen! (reads) "This is how an auto-destruct system works, fuckers!"

(There is a bright flash of light)

INT. E-NIL BRIDGE, MOVIE ERA

(The bridge is darkly lit, and we can faintly hear the computer voice in the background)

Braga: What the hell?!

Berman: This looks familiar... What's the computer saying?

(They move nearer to listen)

Computer Voice: 25... 24... 23...

Berman: Oh, FUCK! This is the Enterprise bridge in TSFS!

Braga: Hmm... something bad happened to the Enterprise in that one didn't it?

Berman: Yes, they self destructed it!!

Braga: HUH?! They used the self-destruct and it actually worked? Were they smoking crack?

Berman: Shiiit, what was the disarm code?

(They think, but eventually Torg and the other Kingons enter and point their disruptors at the pair)

Torg: Ha! Surrender, human scum!

Berman: You don't understand, we're...

Torg: Shut up or die!

Braga: We'll all die if...

(Torg shoots Braga, vaporising him)

Torg: (to Berman) The same thing will happen to you if you open your mouth!

Kruge: (Over communicator) What's going on over there?

Torg: We captured a pair of humans. One of them wouldn't shut up, so I killed him.

Kruge: Anyone else there?

Torg: No, the bridge appears to be run by computer. It is the only thing speaking.

Kruge: Speaking? Let me hear!

Computer: 9... 8... 7...

Kruge: GET OUT!! GET OUTTA THERE!!! GET OUT!!

(Too late! The bridge explodes, obliterating Berman and the Klingons. Seconds later, the whole ship breaks apart and burns up)

Majel Barret's voice: "Auto-destruct offline" my ass.

THE END!

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-01-23 09:32pm

That's brilliant.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-01-23 09:47pm

Not to spoil everyone's fun, nor act like a mod, but I'd just like to remind everyone that we can probably talk about a movie in which B&B die, but not actually killing them IRL. No comment on which I'd prefer, of course.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2004-01-23 09:57pm

Enola Straight wrote:A Star Trek interpretation of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".

Felix is a Vulcan, Oscar is a Klingon.

(yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

I could see Mad TV during something like it. I think it could be funny.

CDiehl · Post by **CDiehl** » 2004-01-23 10:14pm

Well, getting back to Uranium's excellent idea (not the one involving Janeway), I picture Seven and the evil version of Kira in a sexy catfight over who gets to work over a tied-up Counselor Troi first, while she watches them in the mirrored ceiling of the room. Given the choice, I'd forgo watching B+B suffer to see something those three go at it.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-01-23 10:45pm

I have an idea. Do a whole movie Sans B&B all about Kronos. Why does it always have to be federation? a movie/series from an alien races POV would be most welcome/entertaining.

CDiehl · Post by **CDiehl** » 2004-01-23 11:50pm

That is an excellent idea.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-01-24 12:04am

Well, if we're not going to do a movie about Berman and Braga being killed and mutilated, then I suggest plan B. Plan B involves Sandra Bullock and K-Y jelly.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2004-01-24 12:08am

Personally I've found K-Y to be an inferior product Mike. Surely you can do better!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-01-24 12:10am

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Personally I've found K-Y to be an inferior product Mike. Surely you can do better!

ID Glide is smoother, but sometimes you want a little bit of extra friction, so you can take her breath away with a good thrust

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-01-24 12:52am

Enola Straight wrote:A Star Trek interpretation of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple".

Felix is a Vulcan, Oscar is a Klingon.

(yes, go ahead and mock this idea)

Felix is a human fom Bridgecommander but he is so boring people can mistake him for a vulcan like you.

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2004-01-24 03:44pm

Darth Wong wrote:How about a movie in which Berman and Braga are beaten to death by Klingons?

Only after the Klingons overrun the entire 1st Cavalry Division with nothing but Bat'Leths.

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 2004-01-24 04:37pm

What about the Duras sisters, Janeway, and a tube of K-Y Jelly?

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-01-24 05:04pm

Jeremy wrote:What about the Duras sisters, Janeway, and a tube of K-Y Jelly?

Scratch the Duras sisters and Janeway out,and instead we have Seven,Troi Belanna,Saavik,K`Lheyr(sp),the half Klingon half Romulan chick,Hoshi and T-Pol all chick orgy

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Idea for new Star Trek movie...

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