blatant plot rip off idea

[The Yosemite Bear]

Ok, as a result of the time travel machinizations they find earth inhabited by two species the Peaceful and vegitarian Elonna, and the carnivorous subteraan Morlocks. What will the enterprise crew do, and what happens when the morlocks steal all of the communicators as well as the keys to the shuttle....

[Tsyroc]

Ok, as a result of the time travel machinizations they find earth inhabited by two species the Peaceful and vegitarian Elonna, and the carnivorous subteraan Morlocks. What will the enterprise crew do, and what happens when the morlocks steal all of the communicators as well as the keys to the shuttle....

Kirk will come up with a plan after banging quite a few of the Elonna.


Well, okay. Maybe they'll all die because Kirk will be too busy banging hot looking Elonna women.

[dworkin]

The away we go team from the Ent-D beam down and get mobbed by the child-like Eloi. Troi says something obvious and moronic, Worf says something about his honor/species that is moronic and Riker wanders off to shag some Eloi hottie.
At night time (Picard insists the away we goes stay and a sweaty Riler insists there's no danger) the Morlocks come for dinner. A member of security is wounded by a well thrown javelin and the crew leave him to die rather than sending him back to the well stocked sickbay.
This could be because a night attack by neolithic primitives overwhelms our heroic cast. A morlock wrassles Worf and to show how tough our resident nasties are they defeat the apparently tough head of security. All the away we go team and some Eloi hotties are transported uncermoniously to the Temple and the caverns below.
Needless to say the weird minerals of the temple block (technobabble) making transporters ineffective. Picard, Data, Crusher, LaForge and some expendables organise a rescue mission.
At this point Data launches into some wierd exposition showing that while the writer has read The Time Machine the producer probably only saw the George Pal movie when released.
I have no idea how the rescue team makes it inside, because there thay are in the next scene. There is some tense moments wandering round the tunnels that segues into a running battle in which the expendables perish but luckily the Doc can treat Picard's head scratch.
The big confrontation scene with the away we go team about to become lunch, the rescue team trying to rescue and (because this is TNG) a wanky confrontational scene between Picard and the Morlock leader who still speaks (scarily presaging the awful 2002 movie).
Anyways, while the pleas of the Federation philosophy fall on deaf ears they manage to rescue their prisoners in exchange for the settling of a Kentucky Fried McWendy's franchise on the planet.
The episode ends with a pithy comment to dire to mention here. Everyone lives happily ever other except the expendables and the Morlocks/Eloi planet as the Morlocks die of greasy degeneration and the stupid Eloi die from being too stupid.

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

The Voyager method:
After mindless, pointless wandering and getting redshirts killed, either Chakotay get's Voyager into the atmosphere, or B'leanna finds a way to use ____ with ____ and combine ____ with ____ to cause a ____ effect and _____ so ____could finally work. Janeway says "Do it" and everyone leaves Earth.

7 or Doc learns more about humanity (or same stuff in previous eps), Kim might get to bag a Eloi and eventually be dumped HARD. Tuvok might find some spiritual experience with some old Morlock and Neelix feeds everyone with real Earth-based cuisine but since replicators came out people's taste have been seriously distorted, ironically they dislike the decent thing.

[BenRG]

Kirk will come up with a plan after banging quite a few of the Elonna.

Events will take place in the following order:

1. Two redshirts will buy it in a funny way
2. Kirk will start a tragic love affair with one of the Elonna who is, therefore, doomed to be eaten/married just before the end of the episode.
3. KirkGirl gets kidnapped in a night attack along with Janice Rand (what a technician is doing on an away mission having never been addressed).
4. In variance to TNG policy (but entirely in line with TOS policy) advanced weapons mow the primitives down like wheat, but being innumerable deals the Morlocks a major advantage
5. Spock and McCoy (squabbling all the way about the ethical rights and wrongs) come up with a way of curing the Morlocks of their photophobia and beastial nature
6. Before the cure takes effect, Kirk has to take on a whole platoon of Morlock warriors. He seems to be doing badly, until his shirt is ripped, then it is kickass time. He is almost skewered by the last Morlock, but is saved by an Elonna male who has learnt the ways of violence from our enlightened heroes
7. As the crew prepare to leave, Kirk makes a long-winded PC speech about the brotherhood of man to appease Mr. Roddenberry's humanist delusions.
8. Kirk offers to take KirkGirl with him, but she has decided to live with the Elonna who the crew have taught to kill (because she is attracted to his new aggression, when, before, she regarded him as a wimp), proving that gentle pacifists stand no chance against red-blooded male killers who want to rid the worlds of subhumans and other lesser races.