Why "Enterprise" is Doomed

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2003-09-23 01:29am

This season's "new take" on the show will be its demise. While TOS had lighthearted episodes, lighthearted moments within serious episodes, Enterprise will not. All we are going to see is stiff-lipped, grim-faced Archer looking for those Xindi for a whole season with revenge in his heart. OOooh, what drama.

This show blows. If it wasn't Trek, UPN would have pulled the plug on this turd.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-23 01:34am

Good point about the lack of lightheartedness, Lord Poe. I don't recall anything comedic about it, ever!

And, as you said, it looks like it's only going to get worse.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-09-23 01:46am

My God, you seriously think that this is not an improvement?

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2003-09-23 02:04am

There are some lighthearted moments on "Enterprise," like Tucker giving T'Pol a massage. But there's a certain relatability that's consistently missing from virtually every Trek character since DS9, and a few on TNG (would anybody notice if LaForge were killed?). It's hard to care about them. Even though Enterprise's characters act less...what's the word...sanitized than TNG and VOY characters.

Some of the characters on TNG and Voyager talked like machines (and I don't just mean Data, whom I consider one of the finest characters in the history of sci-fi). They're all rocket scientists, and they say things like "confection bar." It's embarrassing. And I will never, not in a million years, buy the universal translator.

Enterprise is far better than Voyager (so is watching grass grow), but it's trying to fit into a universe that will never make sense again. There are 600+ hours of Trek that contradict themselves on a myriad of issues. That's why I set my own standard of canon, because there are even televised scenes that contradict each other.

Ebert was right about Trek being out of gas. And it's really tragic considering the heights that were reached.

CorSec · Post by **CorSec** » 2003-09-23 02:54am

Sounds about right, Poe. If this season is all about the crew's (Archer's) hatred of the Xindi and his pursuit of revenge, then it will get boring and people will tune out (again). Someone said that the next few episodes were done by different writers so we'll just have to see what happens.

TheDarkling · Post by **TheDarkling** » 2003-09-23 09:18am

While Enterprise isn't exactly setting the world on fire ratings wise it is still getting above average for the UPN, it is slightly below what Voyager was getting in its third season but Voyagers start was a third higher audience making Voyagers drop off far more dramatic.

UPN would be fools to cancel at this point even if it wasn't trek and since it is Enterprise is safe for the moment.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-09-23 10:04am

I agree with most of the above posts, and, in the same vein, I would pose this question:
Is there one or two extraordinarily glaring examples of the depths of crap trek (Enterprise in particular) has fallen to that could be changed in order to vastly improve the show, or is it just doomed, plain and simple?

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-09-23 10:29am

This show blows. If it wasn't Trek, UPN would have pulled the plug on this turd.

Enterprise will continue to suck ass. No doubt about it. But it's the flagship for the Trek franchise and so it won't meet it's richly deserved demise. They'll continue to let it shuffle along like a zombie past it's expiration date because they feel they have to.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-09-23 11:07am

On the subject of Enterprise - have anybody else than me noticed that the name of the Xindi is hauntingly similar to that of the Kzinti, the name of a hostile alien species in Larry Niven's sci-fi novels??

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-23 12:17pm

Metrion Cascade wrote:That's why I set my own standard of canon...

Uhhh, you what?

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-09-23 01:17pm

Frank Hipper wrote:
Metrion Cascade wrote:That's why I set my own standard of canon...
Uhhh, you what?

Well, why not? If he's not trying to force anyone else to use it, it's perfectly valid. I selectively throw out parts of the SW EU all the time (I never got in the habit of rigidly following the official canon policy because I never did much VS. debating).

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-09-23 01:50pm

Lord Poe wrote:This season's "new take" on the show will be its demise. While TOS had lighthearted episodes, lighthearted moments within serious episodes, Enterprise will not. All we are going to see is stiff-lipped, grim-faced Archer looking for those Xindi for a whole season with revenge in his heart. OOooh, what drama.

Yeah, a whole show based on "First Contact". See: "With the Borg, some people said, 'Oh my God, Archer was not the first person to encounter the Borg. Picard [Patrick Stewart] was. You've changed the timeline.' My answer to that was, 'Well, that got changed in the movie First 'Contact'."

This show blows. If it wasn't Trek, UPN would have pulled the plug on this turd.

It isn't Trek -- it's Brand X Sci-Fi (tm) in Trek clothing.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-09-23 03:58pm

Jeez, Archer was even an ass to his own crew. They'd make helpful suggestions or give cautious warnings and Archer would throw a fit, getting all red-in-the-face and reminding us that we can't play it safe anymore and stuff like that. Sure, I'd be pissed if aliens blew up Florida too, but taking it out on the rest of the crew sure as hell isn't a way to improve moral.

Plus: Ep303 Anomaly, "That's no moon, it's a space station!"

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-09-23 05:35pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Jeez, Archer was even an ass to his own crew. They'd make helpful suggestions or give cautious warnings and Archer would throw a fit, getting all red-in-the-face and reminding us that we can't play it safe anymore and stuff like that. Sure, I'd be pissed if aliens blew up Florida too, but taking it out on the rest of the crew sure as hell isn't a way to improve moral.

Plus: Ep303 Anomaly, "That's no moon, it's a space station!"

So Archer is a descendant of Bush?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-09-23 07:32pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:On the subject of Enterprise - have anybody else than me noticed that the name of the Xindi is hauntingly similar to that of the Kzinti, the name of a hostile alien species in Larry Niven's sci-fi novels??

Wouldn't surprise me, since they stole the season's basic plot from Space Cruiser Yamato...

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-09-23 07:38pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:On the subject of Enterprise - have anybody else than me noticed that the name of the Xindi is hauntingly similar to that of the Kzinti, the name of a hostile alien species in Larry Niven's sci-fi novels??
Wouldn't surprise me, since they stole the season's basic plot from Space Cruiser Yamato...

hmmm, yea like the part about the comet-city-ship screaming toward earth.....

oh wait it doesn't have that

or how the earth is toxic and everyone lives underground

oh, doesn't have that either

And how they dug up a beat up old naval vessel and....

nope, doesn't have that either.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-09-23 07:41pm

I said the basic plot, which is traveling a vast distance to defeat their assailent.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-09-23 07:47pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:I said the basic plot, which is traveling a vast distance to defeat their assailent.

I doubt that any show can lay claim to that concept.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-09-23 07:48pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:On the subject of Enterprise - have anybody else than me noticed that the name of the Xindi is hauntingly similar to that of the Kzinti, the name of a hostile alien species in Larry Niven's sci-fi novels??
Wouldn't surprise me, since they stole the season's basic plot from Space Cruiser Yamato...
hmmm, yea like the part about the comet-city-ship screaming toward earth.....

oh wait it doesn't have that

Yet.

or how the earth is toxic and everyone lives underground

oh, doesn't have that either

No, that's in season 4 when we find out Earth has always been that way.

And how they dug up a beat up old naval vessel and....

nope, doesn't have that either.

Wait 3 episodes, when they find one in the Death Sta... I mean, the Dyson Spheehhh... *scratches head in confusion*

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-09-23 07:49pm

Still, I like saying that Enterprise rips off Space Crusier Yamato. It's got a ring to it.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-09-23 07:52pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Good point about the lack of lightheartedness, Lord Poe. I don't recall anything comedic about it, ever!

And, as you said, it looks like it's only going to get worse.

Nothing comedic? How about the bitter irony of the fact that this pathetic, emaciated crackwhore of a marketing ploy will likely outlive the truly thoughtful, meaningful and in many ways groundbreaking creation whose blood it is finally sucking dry?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-09-23 07:59pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Still, I like saying that Enterprise rips off Space Crusier Yamato. It's got a ring to it.

well, i wouldn't put it past B&B to have smoke and flames in the vacuum of space. And Spacecruiser Yamato (or Star Blazers as i knew it) kicks fucking ass and always will goddamit!

*fires the wave motion gun at all who dare disagree...just stand still and give me 30 seconds to charge it.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-09-23 08:41pm

I was hearing fanboys speak of archer at a local chess meeting on Sunday. They frigging whack off to actions. tHis franchise may survive longer than we expect.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-09-23 10:42pm

Captain Lennox wrote:I was hearing fanboys speak of archer at a local chess meeting on Sunday. They frigging whack off to actions. tHis franchise may survive longer than we expect.

But aside from the moron fanboy demographic Enterprise is a failure. A complete and utter failure. The only reason it's still on the air is it's the current Trek tv incarnation.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-09-23 10:46pm

Captain Lennox wrote:I was hearing fanboys speak of archer at a local chess meeting on Sunday. They frigging whack off to actions. tHis franchise may survive longer than we expect.

I don't know; if they not jacking off to the chicks, then they might just be Quantom Leap fans who got lost.

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Why "Enterprise" is Doomed

Why "Enterprise" is Doomed

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