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What would Star Trek be like if instead of the old Western barfights they had, they had kung fu fights with swords and high kicks?

Retarded, unless they could come up with a good reason people on board the ship were carrying swords around--such as concerns about hull breaches (pathetically weak hulls, or finding out that all those damned windows on board Federation starships are extremely fragile) or damage to sensitive equipment if people started shooting at each other with projectile or energy weapons.

Seriously, while some display of martial arts skill would be reasonable from the crew of a starship as part of their basic military training, outside of perhaps the Security force, a few people who have the martial arts as a hobby, and any people on board trained as ground troops, there's no real reason for the crew of a starship to be experts in hand-to-hand combat.

Only the TNG-and-later Klingons, with their mania for hand-to-hand combat, really have a reason for carrying around swords and knives aboard ship...and it's not a very good reason, at that.

Agreed. Knives and swords on a starship are a moronic idea.

What about Kirk Fu?

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:What about Kirk Fu?

Kirk Fu is not an eastern fighting style. It is something the Star Trek producers made up.

Hence the winkage...

FaxModem1 wrote:What would Star Trek be like if instead of the old Western barfights they had, they had kung fu fights with swords and high kicks?

Seconded on the vote for retarded.

Star Trek didn't have Western style barfights. It had Kirk acting like a dickhead. He had the worst fighting style I've ever seen, don't you just love his patented overhand two-hands clasped together blow?

Vympel wrote:Star Trek didn't have Western style barfights. It had Kirk acting like a dickhead. He had the worst fighting style I've ever seen, don't you just love his patented overhand two-hands clasped together blow?

My personal favorite was the two legged flying drop kick.

As to the fighting styles, the novelization called it Space Karate.

Stravo wrote:
As to the fighting styles, the novelization called it Space Karate.

UNGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that's SAD *GROAN*

Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

Darth Wong wrote:Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

Well, that same styrofoam boulder that Kirk consistantly used in fights seemed to follow him about the galaxy.

Not to mention this little number:


Kirk just needs to bring that with him everywhere and then when I fight comes, whip it out and beat them senseless with it.

loocks like he was compensating in that battle, I wonder if he found out that the Gorn captain was the nesting matriarch of the ship, would he have pursued?

Gil Hamilton wrote:

Darth Wong wrote:Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

Well, that same styrofoam boulder that Kirk consistantly used in fights seemed to follow him about the galaxy.

Not to mention this little number:
http://www.el-hazardonline.net/gilhamil ... friend.jpg
<snip>

Oh look! It is Kirk and his space dildo!

btw, this thread came from watching the trailer of Kill Bill, where you replace guns and put in swords for a mafia movie.

Darth Wong wrote:Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

The mental images that come with that...!

*Alien-of-the-week gets slammed by Kirk with a metal chair as an Organian announcer drones on about the fight...*

Vympel wrote:Star Trek didn't have Western style barfights. It had Kirk acting like a dickhead. He had the worst fighting style I've ever seen, don't you just love his patented overhand two-hands clasped together blow?

Worse than the moronic fighting style of DS9? At least in TOS Kirk got his ass kicked from time to time in one-on-one combat where as in DS9 Kira is able to beat down four Klingons/Cardassians/Jem'Hadar that are twice her size.