Kung Fu Star Trek?

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-09-23 12:26am

What would Star Trek be like if instead of the old Western barfights they had, they had kung fu fights with swords and high kicks?

Kerneth · Post by **Kerneth** » 2003-09-23 01:06am

Retarded, unless they could come up with a good reason people on board the ship were carrying swords around--such as concerns about hull breaches (pathetically weak hulls, or finding out that all those damned windows on board Federation starships are extremely fragile) or damage to sensitive equipment if people started shooting at each other with projectile or energy weapons.

Seriously, while some display of martial arts skill would be reasonable from the crew of a starship as part of their basic military training, outside of perhaps the Security force, a few people who have the martial arts as a hobby, and any people on board trained as ground troops, there's no real reason for the crew of a starship to be experts in hand-to-hand combat.

Only the TNG-and-later Klingons, with their mania for hand-to-hand combat, really have a reason for carrying around swords and knives aboard ship...and it's not a very good reason, at that.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2003-09-24 03:27am

Agreed. Knives and swords on a starship are a moronic idea.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-09-24 03:32am

What about Kirk Fu?

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2003-09-24 03:52am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:What about Kirk Fu?

Kirk Fu is not an eastern fighting style. It is something the Star Trek producers made up.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-09-24 04:01am

Hence the winkage...

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-09-24 06:05am

FaxModem1 wrote:What would Star Trek be like if instead of the old Western barfights they had, they had kung fu fights with swords and high kicks?

Seconded on the vote for retarded.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-09-24 06:39am

Star Trek didn't have Western style barfights. It had Kirk acting like a dickhead. He had the worst fighting style I've ever seen, don't you just love his patented overhand two-hands clasped together blow?

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-09-24 11:17am

Vympel wrote:Star Trek didn't have Western style barfights. It had Kirk acting like a dickhead. He had the worst fighting style I've ever seen, don't you just love his patented overhand two-hands clasped together blow?

My personal favorite was the two legged flying drop kick.

As to the fighting styles, the novelization called it Space Karate.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-09-24 11:31am

Stravo wrote:
As to the fighting styles, the novelization called it Space Karate.

UNGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that's SAD *GROAN*

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-09-24 02:01pm

Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-09-24 02:33pm

Darth Wong wrote:Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

Well, that same styrofoam boulder that Kirk consistantly used in fights seemed to follow him about the galaxy.

Not to mention this little number:

Kirk just needs to bring that with him everywhere and then when I fight comes, whip it out and beat them senseless with it.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-24 05:04pm

loocks like he was compensating in that battle, I wonder if he found out that the Gorn captain was the nesting matriarch of the ship, would he have pursued?

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-09-24 05:45pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.
Well, that same styrofoam boulder that Kirk consistantly used in fights seemed to follow him about the galaxy.

Not to mention this little number:
http://www.el-hazardonline.net/gilhamil ... friend.jpg
<snip>

Oh look! It is Kirk and his space dildo!

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-09-24 08:46pm

btw, this thread came from watching the trailer of Kill Bill, where you replace guns and put in swords for a mafia movie.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-09-25 01:31am

Darth Wong wrote:Kirk fought like a modern professional wrestler. He would have won quicker in most of his fights if they only had metal folding chairs laying around on the Enterprise.

The mental images that come with that...!

*Alien-of-the-week gets slammed by Kirk with a metal chair as an Organian announcer drones on about the fight...*

The Kernel · Post by **The Kernel** » 2003-09-25 08:55am

Vympel wrote:Star Trek didn't have Western style barfights. It had Kirk acting like a dickhead. He had the worst fighting style I've ever seen, don't you just love his patented overhand two-hands clasped together blow?

Worse than the moronic fighting style of DS9? At least in TOS Kirk got his ass kicked from time to time in one-on-one combat where as in DS9 Kira is able to beat down four Klingons/Cardassians/Jem'Hadar that are twice her size.

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Kung Fu Star Trek?

Kung Fu Star Trek?

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