StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Yeah Orlaf's wife totally doesn't turn into a giant old Babushka The day she hits 30. I KNOW HOW EASTERN EUROPE IS.

Lonestar wrote:Yeah Orlaf's wife totally doesn't turn into a giant old Babushka The day she hits 30.

Weird, I'm getting a Deja Vu, as if we've already had this conversation before...

Anyway, Orlaf's wives:

37 years old


54 years old


26 years old

Lonestar wrote: I KNOW HOW EASTERN EUROPE IS.

You know NOTHING! RARGH!

I meant Stirlitz jokes. I will preface all Spozavik posts with them.

Shroom Man 777 wrote:I meant Stirlitz jokes. I will preface all Spozavik posts with them.

I think I (and others) posted them all in the Jokes thread.

Including ones I gathered by hastily combing through numerous issues of Polish joke collections

Those are all of it? Damn, I thought there were more. But then again, I guess the Eastern Bloc has so many shortages that jokes get included.

I think these might've been omitted:

The words Stierlitz sucks! were inscribed on the wall of the Reichskanzellarie. While Bormann, Mueller and Goebbels snickered at them, Stierlitz knew their real meaning: He has been awarded the title of Hero Of The Soviet Union!

Stierlitz watched his courier set out on his way, maraching on skis towards the border.

He has one hell of a tough job ahead of him, thought the Russian spy. July of 1943 was just coming to an end...

The SS have blocked all exits from Sterlitz's safehouse. But he outsmarted them once again - he snuck out through an entrance!

Stierlitz was looking for mushrooms outside Berlin, but couldn't find any.

It must not be the season, he thought, sitting down in a snowdrift[/i]

During a briefing at the Reichskanzellarie, Sterlitz walks in, puts a basket of oranges on the map table, snaps several photographs of secret documents and walks out.

"What is this?!", Hitler screams at his subordinates, "Who was that?!"

Mueller shrugged, "Oh, that's just Stierlitz, the Russian spy."

"Well, why didn't you arrest him?!"

"He'll get out of it, the crafty bastard. He'll say he brought oranges."

BTW, if you didn't understand the "comrade Tikhonov, ease up on the Vodka!" one, Tikhonov was the name of the actor who portrayed Stierlitz in the movies

I googeled Stirlitz and got it. It's in the wiki!

I wonder if any of you guys have IM or anything, I'd like to be able to chat with you and coordinate rather than use PMs.

Seriously PeZook, could you at least explain some of it?

Shinn, I PMed you about a segment I'm planning to write for the attack on Pendleton; if you see this, RSVP?

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:Seriously PeZook, could you at least explain some of it?

Sure! Like what?

PeZook wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:Seriously PeZook, could you at least explain some of it?

Sure! Like what?

All the Stierlitz jokes!

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote: All the Stierlitz jokes!

If your puny organic mind cannot comprehend the greatest jokes in the galaxy, then there is nothing I can do to help.

Even the Bragulans understand them! Clearly, they're more biologically advanced than you.

PeZook wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote: All the Stierlitz jokes!

If your puny organic mind cannot comprehend the greatest jokes in the galaxy, then there is nothing I can do to help.

Even the Bragulans understand them! Clearly, they're more biologically advanced than you.

Clearly I'm not Russian enough to understand them either.

PeZook wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote: All the Stierlitz jokes!

If your puny organic mind cannot comprehend the greatest jokes in the galaxy, then there is nothing I can do to help.

Even the Bragulans understand them! Clearly, they're more biologically advanced than you.

*writes up a Crusade against Poland*

PeZook wrote:
If your puny organic mind cannot comprehend the greatest jokes in the galaxy, then there is nothing I can do to help.

Even the Bragulans understand them! Clearly, they're more biologically advanced than you.

Those jokes basically go well with the perception Borat creates of the Eastern Bloc.

I think in Bragule, they should have some small oppressed communities of Tau refugees. The Bragulans will thus celebrate The Running of the Tau where they scream and throw rocks at a paper mache 'Tau Egg', fearing that a Tau larva will hatch out of it to steal all of their gold.

In the Bragulan Star Empire, we have problem. Social, economic, and Tau!

Man, that makes me want to have Agent Spozavik travel through the human worlds to have Cultural Learnings of Humanity to Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Bragulan Star Empire!

I... I actually see that working, Shroomy.

"Diz iz my sister. She is greatest prostitute in all Glorious Nation Bragulan Star Empire!"

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote: *writes up a Crusade against Poland*

No need for that, you can just steal something he values more than anything else... If you catch my drift.

Lonestar wrote: Those jokes basically go well with the perception Borat creates of the Eastern Bloc.

Oh, wait, I hear somebody!

Who is it?

It's the American! A guy whose nation invented imitation cheese, reality shows and "not" jokes!

Holy shit they have so much to be proud of, at least they don't tell Stirlitz jokes!

DarthShady wrote: No need for that, you can just steal something he values more than anything else... If you catch my drift.

You guys should really brush up on your geography. It would be really bad if your crusade got here, fucked shit up, then engaged in brutal and costly guerilla warfare for years only to find out Stirlitz jokes are a Russian thing

It's a son, BTW. He's gonna knife-throat anyone who comes to take him

PeZook wrote:

DarthShady wrote: No need for that, you can just steal something he values more than anything else... If you catch my drift.

You guys should really brush up on your geography. It would be really bad if your crusade got here, fucked shit up, then engaged in brutal and costly guerilla warfare for years only to find out Stirlitz jokes are a Russian thing

Which is why I was suggesting an alternative method. And I actually like the jokes.

PeZook wrote:It's a son, BTW. He's gonna knife-throat anyone who comes to take him

Thats one bad ass son you have. Whats his name? Uncle Shady wants to send him a gold engraved AK for his birthday.

So...soon Shepistan will discover the reason why the area around the Capital Wasteland is still a wasteland despite some low level terraforming experiments.

BRAGULIAN SPACE COMMUNIST GEESE.

Who do nothing but home in mercilessly on any green lifeform and EAT IT -- rendering the wasteland barren again. And then engineered to crap out fifty geese eggs a year to ensure destruction of them is impossible.

Why did the bragulans do it? I have no idea. (IOW, want to be in on this shroomy)

PeZook wrote:
Oh, wait, I hear somebody!

Who is it?

It's the American! A guy whose nation invented imitation cheese, reality shows and "not" jokes!

Holy shit they have so much to be proud of, at least they don't tell Stirlitz jokes!

what the hell are you talking about

Also I'm pretty sure the UK invented reality teevee

Lonestar wrote: Also I'm pretty sure the UK invented reality teevee

They also invented you, so it's the same thing

DarthShady wrote: Thats one bad ass son you have. Whats his name? Uncle Shady wants to send him a gold engraved AK for his birthday.

We're gonna name him Jacob.

PeZook wrote:
They also invented you, so it's the same thing

<---Germanish Jew


You lose again, Stierlitz