StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Undisclosed Meeting Hall, Soverign Duchy of Baerne

The preparations had been made, the invitations had been accepted. Rufus Shinra, with the cooperation of Baernish officials, had slipped into the Duchy with no notice, no fanfare. He arrived at the meeting hall and shook hands with the Baernish representitive. He had chosen to wear his white suit with the black tie. It was his most well known ensemble, and he wanted to make an impression. He walked into the conference room, where Jeffery and Brandon were all ready waiting.

"Gentlemen," he began, noting their surprised expressions. Clearly, they had expected some Shinra diplomat, perhaps even the Secretary of State or other high official. They hadn't been expecting the President himself.

"Once, when your country was fighting over who should rule, your father, you uncle," he nodded at both Jeffery and Brandon in turn, "Came to my nation for help. We offered it then. And we offer it again, now. So I sit here with you both, as equals, so that we may find a peaceful resolution to the current situation. None of us wants any more blood shed in the name of political power, I am sure." With this, he took his seat at the table. Recalling the old Arthurian legends from another world, he had specifically requested a round table, so that there could be no 'head' to lord over. Rufus Shinra settled in, preparing to hear both sides, and hopefully, work out some compromise.

President Shady's office, Palace of the Soviets
Stasograd, UCSR
Unreal Time

Shinn Langley Soryu wrote:

Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:"...Here however, we have a different kind of offer, after much discussion, we are prepared to offer you an observership in CATO. If you agree, then you will be granted rights to our technology, participation in the CATO space program that runs concurrent with the FASTA program, a free trade agreement, and also rights to be involved in most of our projects, excepting the most secret ones. Should you wish to upgrade this status to a full membership, my colleagues and I are more than happy to upgrade it, but as of now, it will be an observership. Do you agree to this?"

After pondering the offer for a moment, Lelouch finally gave his reply: "I agree to your offer of observership in CATO, Your Highness. I will consider upgrading to full membership in the future, but that will take some time, as there are still factions in my government opposed to CATO; General Secretary Ashford and I need to figure out just how to pacify them first."

Shady smiled. "I'm sure these factions within your government will see the benefit of working with CATO.", Shady said, "And I trust fully in your ability to make them see things our way. The CATO is a great brotherhood of nations that help each other out, and we would be more than happy to have you join us as a full member nation, soon."

"Gentlemen, we have accomplished great things here today.", Shady smiled and leaned back in his chair, "I believe this is only the beginning and that together we can do even better. My friends, the future is what we make of it, and I say we shall make it a great and prosperous one."

Travnik, Zagor, UCSR

The small forest clearing was usually a very quiet place, relatively close to the highway, it was often used by adventuring young couples as a place where they could enjoy themselves. The young couples thought the place remote and safe enough so as to relax there without the milicija coming to ruin their party. They were mostly right, until today. A young couple parked their car in the small clearing hoping to spend some time alone with each other, unfortunately for them, their little adventure was interrupted by a scream.

"What he hell was that?", the young woman screamed and pushed her boyfriend off.

"I have no idea.", he said, "But it didn't sound good. Perhaps I should go and check it out?"

"No!", the girl shouted, "I'm scared. Don't leave me here alone."

"You can come with me if you want.", the young man said.

"What? No, we don't know who's out there.", the frightened girl said, "Let's just go. We can call the cops from a payphone and let them deal with it."

"I can't do that. Someone could be in trouble. We don't have time to wait for the milicija to arrive.", the young man said and opened the car door. "I'm going to check it out, you lock yourself in the car and wait for me. If I'm not back in five minutes...go and call the cops.", he said and exited the vehicle.

"Damir...No!", the young girl screamed, "Don't go, you'll get hurt."

"Sanja, please calm down. I'll be fine.", Damir said with a smile. "I'll take this with me.", he said grabbing a baseball bat from underneath the back seat.

"Wait in the car and lock the door. And remember, If I'm not back in five minutes...go and call the cops.", he said and ran off into the forest.

Sanja quickly locked all the car doors and sat in the drivers seat. "You better come back safe, or I'll kill you myself!", she shouted after Damir, who had already disappeared into the forest.

Moments later, inside the forest

Damir had been running for a couple of minutes, in the general direction of the scream, but he still hadn't found anyone and he didn't hear any more screams. And then he heard a noise coming from the bushes nearby, he turned around to see what the noise was, and got hit in the head with what looked like the fist of a very large man. He landed face down in the dirt, his vision clouding due to the massive blow he had received. He turned on his back and tried to get up, to get away; but it was already too late. The large man was standing above him, holding Damir's own bat in his hands. The last thing Damir saw was his bat, colliding with his face.

Ten minutes later, small forest clearing

Sanja was getting nervous, it was almost ten minutes ago that her boyfriend went into the forest. She panicked, unsure of what to do. She wanted to listen to him and go call the cops, but she couldn't force her self to leave him. She decided to wait a little bit longer, perhaps he would turn up. He had to.

"Oh God, please let him be alright.", she thought to herself. She was getting more scared with each passing moment. She though about going out and looking for him, but...what if something happened. If he couldn't do anything, then what could she do. She looked towards the forest, towards the place Damir had gone too; hoping he would show up.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden roar and the smashing of the car window. The glass on the passengers side shattered and a massive hand cam through, grabbing her hair and pulling her out of the car.

"No!,", she screamed as the giant man grabbed her and lifted her up. His hands enclosing around her neck and snapping it in two. She died with a look of horror on her face.

The next day, same location

The small forest clearing was no longer peaceful. It was now filled with milicija vehicles and officers, who walked around with a look of dread on their faces. The scene they had found there only a couple of hours ago, was enough to leave even the most courageous and sturdy a man, unable to sleep for days. A black car pulled up the road and stopped a few meters from one of the milicija vehicles. A man emerged from it, wearing a suit and carrying a small briefcase. Several milicija officers approached to welcome the man.

"I wish I could say welcome.", one of the milicija officers said to he man that just arrived, "But I can't welcome anyone to this horror scene. It's a fucking massacre."

"What happened?", the man with the briefcase, Inspector Mustafa Alibegovic, asked.

"It looks like a scene from a fucking horror movie.", one of the men said, "You better go...see for yourself. It's...disturbing."

"Lead the way.", Inspector Mustafa Alibegovic said.

A couple of minutes later, in the forest

"May Allah have mercy on their souls.", Mustafa said, recovering from his third round of throwing up, "What in Gods name happened here? Who? What could have done this?"

"Your guess is as good as ours.", one of the milicija men said.

"I...I can't look at it anymore.", Inspector Alibegovic said, "I must leave this place."

He ran off, back towards the parked milicija vehicles, the officers followed him. They found Mustafa leaned against his car and throwing up. The scene still fresh in his mind. Several people, he couldn't tell how many, were torn limb from limb. Their bodies mangled beyond recognition. He couldn't even be sure as to how many victims there were.

"Sir, what do we do?", one of the milicija officers asked.

"You do your job, and I...", he paused, "I will see if I can get someone more capable of handling things like this, to come and help us."

"Yes, Sir.", the men said and returned to the forest.

Mustafa grabbed his cellphone and dialed a special number, given to him by a friend who was a member of the brotherhood. The number was that of a man who supposedly specialized in weird and mysterious cases. And this was definitively the weirdest case Mustafa had ever seen.

Temple Prime, New Brotherhood of Nod Headquarters, Sarajevo, UCSR

After the formation of the UCSR the new President had moved his center of operations to Stasograd, leaving Temple Prime in Kane's capable hands. The Temple had become the Brotherhoods Center of Operations, a place from which the eye of Kane watched the former Border Regions and the world, bringing order and the rule of the law, or the rule of President Shady; depends which way you looked at it.

It was to the basement of Temple Prime that Mustafa's phone call was directed, and the man that answered it was Special Agent Lisac Mulderovskic of the Brotherhood of Nod.


To be continued...

Undisclosed Conference Hall
Sovereign Duchy of Baerne

The Baernish delegate bowed slightly, her auburn hair falling over her military-cut suit.
"Your Majesties. I'm Countess Domizia, His Grace's Minister for Foreign Affairs. It will be my pleasure to assist President Shinra in moderating today's discussions." She sat, awaiting the opening statements from both claimants to the throne of the Vineyards.

*********************************


Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Encrypted Communique
TO: CATO

Your Excellencies and Majesties,

In light of recent events, we have decided to seek allies outside Frequesque. To that end, we should very much like to apply for membership in CATO.

Sincerely,
James of Baerne

Imperial Chronicles

To: James of Baerne
From: Byzantine Foreign Ministry

Dear Sir,

We will welcome you to visit San Dorado where foreign ministers of CATO would meet to discuss the issue. Within CATO, we view the request very favourably and would assist as required.

Sincerely,
Exarch Decius of Byzantium.

Costa de las Cinquos Muertes
Sandypoint
Baernish Border

Sam Austin strode down the rows of weapons in his organization's "warhouse", double-checking the items present against the list in his hands. There was no reason to do this personally, but he felt better knowing without a shadow of a doubt that everything he'd paid for was here. Everything, that is, save the Klavostani mercenary companies that would be providing the bulk of his air force once they arrived in the two days. Before that time, he would have to secure the city's airport, and as much of the city as possible.

The rows of tanks, and the columns of self-propelled artillery and antiaircraft batteries beyond them, seemed to smile in anticipation.

Finishing his final check, Austin unclipped a cell phone from his belt, and, using a secure stratelllite link, called his cell commanders throughout the city.
"Gentlemen, it's time. Good luck, and good hunting."
Almost immediately, a titanic explosion rocked the night as the local army post blew up. Austin smiled.

Results: Revolution and general mayhem in the Costa.

++Encrypted Flash Transmission++

ATTN: ALL NFTAF WESTCOM COs

Civil unrest has erupted on the Costa. Integrity of the southern borders is at risk. A state of emergency has been declared for the Cliffside, River, Laurel Hill, Edgewater and Chauki Lake Districts.

Defence readiness condition three is in effect. General Directive twenty-seven is in effect.

I Corps commanders are ordered to recall all personnel and report readiness to COFAF within 4 hours of this warning.

All Citidef units on the Costa shall consider forces targeting or attempting to target them as hostile. Local commanders have weapons release authority for all conventional weapons necessary to secure against attack.

NFAF will begin official shutdown of airspace over Buffer Zone North in two hours.


Result: NFT Armed Forces respond to the sudden eruption of civil unrest on the Costa. Citidef units in the northern buffer zone are going to high alert; the NFA is mobilizing two airmobile brigades and a combat aviation brigade to support those units. The NFAF will be flying BARCAP over the buffer zone.

FASTA names MSA exhange astronaut

Confirming long-standing rumors about an astronaut exchange deal between FASTA and the MSA, Damian Kaklamanis, Director Of Operations, announced today the name of the astronaut to become part of the crew of MSA's moon landing mission.

"Lew Titov is an experienced and extremely professional astronaut. He qualified on both Soyuz and Selene capsules with flying colors, is smart, resourceful and in peak physical condition. I am sure he will make an excellent addition to the MSA's space program."

Director Kaklamanis has also confirmed that col. Titov will be replaced by another qualified astronaut on Selene flights he was scheudled to take part in.

PREVIOUSLY ON SDNW... wrote:Spent vodka bottles littered the floor by the fireplace, the flames reflecting off the glass. Like the reflection of empty, hollow lives. They laughed. Light headed from the alcohol. Drunk from their fornication. Trying to drown away bad memories. Bad memories of empty, hollow lives. Glass reflecting the fire of burning cities.

"Gentlemen, it is pleasant to have you all on board!" drunken Premier uttered, speech slurred, vodka cigarette in his slowly moving mouth. Cigarette ash fell on his moustache. Didn't mind, was too drunk.

"So!" laughed Lelouch. Small man with strange hair and cartoonish features, big eyes and strange complexion. "I heard you were at Canissia just a while ago! How was it, mang?"

Duke of Langley fixed disproportionately sized eyes at me. Asked question.

"How was what?" I answered back.

"Canissia. How was Arik?" big eyes blinked. Animu features expressed misplaced curiosity.

"Oh," I said. Politely answer strange man's question. "Meeting with Arik left bad taste in mouth. He is pampered and decadent, betraying even his own shallow, liberal affectations. Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further."

"Ah," Lelouch nodded solemnly. Taking words to heart. He laughed. "Good joke!"

Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Glass reflecting fire of burning cities.

SUPER SHROOM SOJOURN




Over the Atlantic...

The Prime Minister calmly read his itinerary. He was heading for Cascadia to talk with President Garret, Sidney Hank's partner in beating the ass out of those Coilerburger cocksuckers. He was a total badass, one dangerous mofo, so Shroom prepared himself accordingly for any circumstances - even those involving anti-tank rocket launchers. He felt a little bit apprehensive, this was the first time in a long while he had gone over to Messica and a lot of things had changed since then.

"Have you slept at all?" Alison asked him concernedly.

"Actually I did," Shroom answered. "Had a dream."

"About what?" she leaned over towards him, inadvertently giving him a nice view of things.

"Glass and a fireplace, couldn't remember much," Shroom shrugged. "Couldn't sleep well after that..."

"Don't worry," Alison said, trying to cheer him up. "At least we're visiting Cascadia first, and if Sidney got along well with Stephen, then I'm sure you'll do great with him! And Cascadia's cool, it's totally neutral - even its flag is a shade of beige - and it's a bit like Shroomania. Sure, it's not full of drag queens and lipstick lesbians, but it's a pretty nice nation, peaceful. You've read all the brochures!"

"That I did," Shroom smiled. "And I brought my Prime Ministerial polaroid camera with me!"

"Sweet!" Alison grinned. "Totally retro!"

"Yeah, I guess we'll be alright. At least, according to Sidney, Stephen's cooler than those guys like Rufus. That frickin' anti-Shroomite, I wonder what the hell I'm gonna do when I head over to Shinra."

"Well, you better not visit those Shinrapark homes. Those albino hillbillies are really prone to catching and transmitting the Geostigma, or so I've heard," Alison warned.

"Yuck!" Shroom made a face. And then he laughed. "Well, then I guess I better head over to Wilkonia first, then. I could use a good bottle of tequila and some tacos!"

"Hey, you better buy me a sombrero!"

BDA/BDAF Fortress Rapture
2 KM From Costa Border

The reports of violence in the Costa were greeted with great concern, if not surprise at the headquarters of the Baernish regiments tasked with securing the Duchy's northern border. Helicopter patrols were stepped up, and a several armored cavalry companies were placed on high alert. bloodshed was quite common in the unstable country above the Duchy, but outright revolution? Less so.

Meanwhile, the Baernish Intelligence Service sent orders to it's agents in the Costa to investigate what exactly was going on.

******************************

Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Encrypted Communique
TO: CATO

I shall personally attend the meeting in San Dorado, the better to represent my nation.

James of Baerne

Master_Baerne wrote: Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Encrypted Communique
TO: CATO

I shall personally attend the meeting in San Dorado, the better to represent my nation.

James of Baerne

To: James of Baerne
From: Byzantine Foreign Ministry

Apologies Sire! We will have all the heads of State arriving in San Dorado to discuss the issue.

Exarch Decius

CATO Science Journal

CATO Ignition Facility to be constructed in Sarejevo

A massive Ignition facility will be constructed in Sarejevo in the UCSR where wide range of high-energy and high-density physics experiments will take place. It will consist of over 240 lasers, and will be the most powerful laser system in the world, capable of simulating the energy force of a nuclear bomb. The project will be jointly funded by CATO and expects completion in 6 years time.

Nuclear Fusion Reactor begins operation in Commune 1

After 7 years of construction, the Nuclear Fusion Reactor has begun operation in Commune 1 in the UCSR. "This is a momentous occasion, and this will open new vistas in the exploration of Plasma Physics," says President Shady, who jointly opened the reactor facility with the Byzantine Emperor Heraclius. The reactor will be used for various plasma experiments in hope to better understand plasma physics and possibly explore the construction of fusion reactors in the future.

DETOUR



Over Continental Messica

"Huh?"

Prime Minister Shroom felt his groin-o-phone vibrating and subsequently pulled it out.

It was an SMS message from Emperor Heraclius himself, sent to all the CATO leaders.

Requesting for them to meet in San Dorado.

Shroom looked out the window and saw Messica below him, all the grassy fields and Shinrapark homes. The stewardess on the pole informed him that they were just a short while away from Cascadia.

"FUCK!"

Result:
Shroom detours to San Dorado. Goddamn you all!

UCSR Presidential Plane, En Route to San Dorado

"The world is changing my friend, and we must change with it; lest we be swept away by the sands of time.", Shady spoke into his satellite phone.

"Of course Comrade President.", Yuri agreed.

"We will speak more of this once I return.", President Shady said, "Until then I leave matters in your capable hands."

"Yes, Mr.President.", Yuri answered and hung up the phone.

Shady put down the satellite phone and signaled one of his assistants to bring him a drink. The CATO family was about to expand by one more member, and he was pleased; his plan had worked. He looked through the window at the clouds and smiled, the future would be a bright one indeed.

Imperial Chronicles

"Diplomacy is a craft that requires years of mastery, and the recent entrants of San Dorado and now the Duchy of Baerne gives CATO a form of legitimacy that few could claim. We would portray CATO as a defender of the weak, and a power willing to share technology, and willing to form great friendships between various nations, be they small or large. Everyone is an equal and willing partner in this great endeavour," Heraclius told Decius as they boarded the Byzantine Command plane.

"Indeed Sire. Has Selenov gone over the possible 6 month rotational deployment of Byzantine troops? I believe that it would be a great time to announce our commitment to Frequesue security."

"Yes indeed. We have been formulating a plan with our NFT counterparts. We can announce the plan when we arrive."

A Festive Affair



Presidential Palace, downtown San Dorado

The CATO meeting would take place in the Smoking Room at the very pinnacle of the Presidential Palace, almost 350 meters above the ground. The last time Sidney had been here was when he’d received President Garrett of Cascadia, back when he’d still been the head of state of San Dorado.

The circular room hadn’t changed much: still the red carpets dampened all footsteps, still the brass fixtures of the ceiling lights were shaped like the planets, still the massive triangular windows granted an incredible view of the San Dorado skyline. The only obvious difference was the greater number of comfortable leather Chesterfields now arraigned around the Chippendale table in the middle of the room.

And yet… there was something missing. Sidney looked around, wondering what had changed. Finally he realized that Bannon’s massive painting was gone. In its place hung a bright modernist painting now. He fixed his eyes on Daphne. “You took The Arrival of Sir Siegfried down?” he asked.

Daphne Sinclair, his fiancée and president of San Dorado, nodded. “I had moved it to my study. It fits better there.” She leered at the possessive pronoun, again. Sidney rolled his eyes. The worst thing about changing jobs was that he’d had to move out of the Palace. He still hadn’t been able to find a place that even came close. And now the Palace was Daphne’s, as she couldn’t stop reminding him.

The NFT president decided to change the subject. “Everything's prepared for the occasion?”

“It is. Chairman Lorenz’ jet just arrived. Premier Shroom’s Concorde should be landing any minute now. We’ve dispatched a whole fleet of helicopters to Kittyhawk International Skyport to bring everyone down here…” She smiled. “I even had Comrade Shady’s helicopter painted bright gold, just for the occasion."

"You're horrible", Sidney grinned.

"And you love me for it", she winked. "Sit down, make yourself comfortable. We’ll be here for a while, I imagine.”


Result: The three heads of state of the NFT (President Hank, President Sinclair and Chairman Lorenz) have arrived for the CATO conference. Helos are sent to the airport to pick up everyone and ferry them to the Palace. No arriving by motorcade in San Dorado!

Virginia Pilot

Delmarva Peninsula declared safe for civilian use and habitation
The Old Dominion government declared the Delmarva Peninsula, the primary focus for recovery efforts in the former Shepistan, open for habitation and use. A comission has been established to determine how land will used and distributed. If evidence can be provided of pre-quarentine land ownership, those individuals and families will be granted first priority.

Critics have attack the Old Dominion for moving slowly on lifting the quarantine on Shepistan, relying on an "inkblot" strategy of gradually detoxifying land near FOBs operating by the Old Dominion military, CCC, and allied MESS militaries. The pre-attack population of Shepistan was over 130 million people, there is believed to be 7 million survivors in Shepistan and St. Kitterridge.

The Old Dominion government responded to criticisms by acknowledging that while there are cases of hamlets and survivor towns throughout the affected area, vast swaths of the land remain unsafe beyond the FOBs. "Declaring the Delmarva open for business is the first step fo the even larger endeavor." a spokeswoman said...[More]

Master_Baerne wrote:Undisclosed Conference Hall
Sovereign Duchy of Baerne

The Baernish delegate bowed slightly, her auburn hair falling over her military-cut suit.
"Your Majesties. I'm Countess Domizia, His Grace's Minister for Foreign Affairs. It will be my pleasure to assist President Shinra in moderating today's discussions." She sat, awaiting the opening statements from both claimants to the throne of the Vineyards.

Neither monarch seemed willing to begin, for fear that their goals would be easily picked apart after they began their opening claims. The silence lasted for a few moments before Brandon made the first opening statement, standing, "We both are aware of our goals, I wish to keep all the progress I have made in the Vineyards and the Commonwealth at large, and you wish to retain your throne. I am entirely sure we can come to an agreement that ensure both of our goals are met with satisfactory success for each of us. But know this, I will not back down from this point, the Kingdom of Vineyards will have a democratically elected government, working alongside their monarch, or not. "

Jeffery took Brandon's sitting down to indicate that he was done, "Ah, now that you are done attacking my reputation, my goals are simple, the continued existence of the rightful Vinish monarchy, the returning of pride in our people for our military, and a return to the principles that unified the country, among them being strong authority from their king. That is my reasoning for fighting for my throne."

Anchorage Daily News:
Alaska Announces Large Naval Expansion, Details limited

Fleet modernization to included: 2 New LHA, 2-3 AOR/AKE, 4-6 DDG, 8+FFG

Beneath me, this awful city, it screams like an abattoir full of retarded children. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown.

SUPER SHROOM SOJOURN



Over San Dorado

The cityscape of that mephistophlebitic metropolis was all too familiar to the Prime Minister - who had visited San Dorado a number of times before. In entering the city, they always came in by helicopter. The streets were not safe. Block wars brewing, gang bangers and drive by shootings, he knew all about how frequently the Mushroom Marines over at the Shroomanian Embassy had to use lethal force - graciously authorized by the San Dorado government, their generous hosts.

But that was why they never got down streetlevel, and why visiting San Dorado almost always meant seeing Sidney Hank over at some cushy skyscraper or another. Which wasn't so bad. In fact, it was pretty cool. With all the accommodations, the excellent Super Spectacle Sights and everything, one could always count on a good time when visiting San Dorado.

"I can't believe we got here so fast after detouring from Messica," Shroom said silently to himself. Literally, since their detour had forced them to alter their schedules considerably and going through half a world's worth of timezones in such a span of time had a rather exhaustive effect on people.

Thankfully, Prime Minister Shroom was spared that when his aide had told him to go rest while offering to take up all the necessary troubles their sudden detour had imposed on them. Alison had spent almost all the time contacting the Messicans - the Shinrans, Wilkonians and Cascadians - and telling them that they had to postpone the PM's arrival.

Now, she was sleeping beside Shroom, leaning her head tiredly on his shoulder.

"We'll be at the Presidential Palance any minute now," the helicopter's pilot announced.

"Thanks," Shroom said as he buckled up his seatbelt and Alison's too, basically a repeat of what just happened when their Shroom Force One Concorde landed over at Kittyhawk.

He looked out the window and saw the massive skyscraper that was Sidney Hank's crib, now Daphne Sinclair's. The place was growing bigger now that they were getting nearer, and they'd be touching down at the helipad in no time.

The Prime Minister wondered, whether or not he should nudge Alison awake or let her wake up later.

He decided to let her sleep for a while.


Results:
Shroom arrives. Despite detours and whatnot, he's the first as usual!

San Dorado

"Damn, I hate this place", king Paul sighed when he and his entourage were seated inside their helicopter. While he liked president Hank somewhat, and considered San Dorado as a nation to be a dependable partner, he couldn't stand the city itself - with its constant gang wars, hypercapitalis and callous disregard for life. A person couldn't even walk (or drive) through the streets without risking violent death. His wife disliked the place, too, and so she stayed home in PeZookia this time - besides, she had some urgent appointment with the palace medical staff.

Nevertheless, he would put his diplomatic face for the meeting with representatives of Baerne. History was in the making, after all.

Result: Hah! I be second!

San Dorado, CATO Meeting

"Hahaha!", the President was laughing his ass off, "A gold painted helicopter."

It took him a while to stop laughing, his Black Hand Bodyguards didn't think the yoke that funny.

"I've got to hand it to them.", Shady smiled, "They have quite a sense of humor."

"Yes, Sir.", one of the men agreed reluctantly, "Capitalist pigs.", he murmured under his breath.

"What did you say?", Shady asked.

"Um...nothing Sir.", the man said an turned his head away from the President.

"You...", Shady tried to say something but was interrupted by the helicopter pilot.

"We're almost there.", the pilot announced.

"Good.", Shady said, "This should be fun."

OOC: The President has arrived.

SEASIDE PALACE, CANISSIA




The thin strip of light from the open door lay across King Arik's face. He mumbled, shifting, still asleep.

"Majesty," Colonel Rassnar's voice came from just around the open door. He was too professional to actually look into the room to see his King all groggy and tousle-haired in the tangle of his wives' bodies-- they were still asleep. The King blinked.

"Whaaa--?" he asked. He rubbed sleep from his eyes. "Whassgoingon, Colonel?"
"Revolution in Costas de los Cincos Muertes," the Colonel said, "Open fighting among what appear to be various factions of paramilitaries." From inside the room, the King yawned. It was still an hour before his usual wake-up time. "Oh, and the CATO are having another meeting."

"Another CATO meeting? Didn't they just..?"
"I believe so, sir."
"Where this time?"
"San Dorado, sir."

"So it must be business. If it were for fun, they'd go to Shroomania."
"Yes, sir."

"The revolution in Costas," Arik said, "Is it going to spill over into anywhere else?"
"It doesn't appear to be going over the borders as yet," the Colonel replied, "But Intel theorizes that there are bound to be external influences at work. Other FTO nations vying for influence. This was very sudden, and appears to be fairly well planned."

"Fucking continent."
"Indeed, Majesty. Shall I get the coffee ready for you?"
"Please..."

MOONBEAM MADNESS

Low Earth Orbit, Bellerophon Orbiter

"Whee! I'm green! I'm green! WOOHOO!!!!", cried Vincent Blues, one of the owners of Blues Brothers Shipyards and feared San Dorado gangster, as he spun around in the air surrounded by a cloud of his own vomit, "I'm green and it feels great!"

Sam Ralson flew through the puke-cloud and bounced off the opposite wall of the passenger chamber, stark naked except for his biomed sensors. He hollered "YEEEEEE-HAW!!!" as he tried to mount the second pilot, who tried frantically to get rid of ants he thought were crawling under his space suit.

The gold tycoon Clinton Westwood was another matter entirely: he sat quietly in the corner, staring into empty space and shivering, while muttering "Oh my God...it's full of stars!" over and over again. This also meant he was the first man Miranda tied up - the easiest one to catch.

It was hard work, trying to grab and tie up the crew, especially since the command pilot was constantly trying to hump her, thinking himself to be a dog. Microgravity didn't make it any easier, with Miranda constantly bumping her head into things and having trouble dealing with sir Isaac Newton's ruthless laws of motion - this lead to all sorts of interesting acrobatics.

Finally, however, she managed to do that. The howling and hollering never stopped, though - even as she fastened Ralson back into his seat, he was screaming, at the top of his lungs.

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE I SOLD CHEMICAL WEAPONS TO KARIC OH MY GOD I AM DAMNED!"

Miranda looked upon the cabin, satisfied. Now was the time for the second stage of this glorious event - all she had to do was take control of the spacecraft and ride it to the meeting with her nemesis and the vile she-devil who corrupted him. Miranda gently flew over to the cockpit, feeling the elation, glory at the tip of her fingers...



"Oh shit...", she muttered.

Jerusalem Mission Control

"The only one who's not affected is Moonbeam, sir!", the flight surgeon reported dutifully to the Flight Director.

"Okay, people...I want the controls locked out. They will rendezvous as planned - have Selene 3 prepared for an eventual rescue mission.", Common Carter Connoway, a single-man legend in the tight knit community of mission controllers, began barking out orders. This was his ship he was running, and by Rock, his ship would be tight and firm, not flaccid and weak!

"Three, this is Jerusalem. Come in three.", The CAPCOM began calling out to the FASTA capsule.

"We read you Jerusalem. What the hell just happened?", came Alan's voice in response, "We lost contact with Bellerophon"

"Uh...correct, Three. Bellerophon's crew has been incapacitated."

"What? How?!"

"We don't know yet, but it appears Miranda Moonbeam is unaffected."

There was a loaded pause.

"You have got to be kidding me...", Alan finally groaned.

"Uh, negative Three. Completely serious here. Here's what we want you to do..."

Jerusalem Mission Control, VIP viewing gallery

Damian Kaklamanis, the calm and collected Director of Flight Operations, was screaming his head off.

"We told you this would happen! We fucking warned you, you greedy hypercapitalist bastards! Now look what the fuck you've done!!!"

"Please, director!", the executive squealed in a girly voice, "We had no choice!"

"YOU KNOW YOU HAD A FUCKING CHOICE YOU GODDAMNED RETARDS!"

"No! You didn't have to talk to him!"

"What?", the Director asked, taken a bit by surprise, "Who?"

"Lord Moonbeam!", the executive blurted out and buried his face in his arms, womanly tears running down his cheeks, "He's so scary...I...I shiver every time I think of him..."

Kaklamanis stared down the wreck of a man who stood there before him, weeping and shivering with sheer terror at the memory. He snorted in contempt,but in reality felt nothing but pity for the man. He finally decided to leave him to his misery.

"I have to go and make some calls. Get yourself together, man..."



Low Earth Orbit, Bellerophon rendezvous point

The computer was an awesome piece of technology, developed and programmed by the best. It expertly maneuvered the orbiter into a holding position, acting with precision unattainable to any human - and did that with an angry human pilot actively trying to take control from the cockpit.

Alan watched the orbiter approach through Selene's main optics: the crew has tested them throughout the mission, but he was still impressed by how good they were.

"Goddammit. She's right there, in the cockpit. What the hell is she doing?"

Svetlana raised her head from a clipboard she was holding, making furious calculation with assistance of the onboard computer.

"Something crazy, probably. It's a Moonbeam we are talking about, Alan."

"Well, that I know. But...wait, she left the cockpit. Maurizio, take over and keep an eye on her.", Alan commanded and floated down to the crew couches. He grabbed his radio headset and put it on.

"Jerusalem, we are in visual range. Relative velocities are perfectly matched. Be advised, we'll miss our re-entry window if we don't begin the procedure now."

"Copy that, Three. Cancel the re-entry, we'll use the reserve site in the Pacific."

"Uh...roger. What's the word on the rescue operation?"

"We're still working on it, Three. Standby."

"Copy. Standing by.", Alan replied and sighed. He was starting to really, really hate that command.

Bellerophon orbiter

Miranda huffed and puffed, her suit floating around her ankles, her face red with physical strain. Finally, the item shot out, twacking Vincent Blues in the face and spiralling off towards the ceiling. She lurched after it, but tangled herself in her own suit. It took several minutes for her to grab the telescopic axe-handle she smuggled onboard hidden inside her colon. She unfolded and attached the blade to it.

The insipid computer would have to wait - it brought her near enough to the place where she could enact her revenge. She floated off towards the airlock, where pressure suits were stowed.

"Alan Shroompard!", she bellowed into empty air, only her crazed passengers as witnesses, "Today you join your ancestors in VALHALLA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"

To be continued...